Opening the Door
Comfort in SilenceLee Chan always watched Jihoon from afar. They had been together for years but were not as close as some of the other members. Even so, Lee Chan somehow found his gaze drawn to Jihoon at odd times, even when he was not speaking. Sometimes, he would lie in bed and stare up at the ceiling of the dorm, thinking about Jihoon all alone in his studio, staying up into the night producing music for his group and asking nothing in return.
Lee Chan would sometimes purposely stay behind in the studio later than he was obligated to just to see if that night would be the night Jihoon would finally let himself rest. Every time, Lee Chan would eventually give up waiting and wander back to the dorm. However, he did not fall asleep and would stay up waiting for Jihoon to return. All Lee Chan really wanted was to not let Jihoon suffer in silence by himself. Even if he couldn't do anything for Jihoon to help him, he just wanted him not to be lonely.
One evening, after their schedule for the day had ended, Lee Chan was practicing by himself and writing lyrics. He knew that he had to work twice as hard because he was the youngest and couldn't let the elder members down. As the clock neared midnight, his thoughts drifted to Jihoon sitting alone in the darkness of his studio. He eyed the door across the practice studio that led to Jihoon's workspace.
Unconsciously, he slowly began moving toward the closed door but stopped when he reached it, his hand hovering over the knob. Lee Chan's mind was racing at the thought of finally opening the door that led to the person he had been acutely aware of for months. So, he turned and slowly sank down to the floor, crouching and leaning up against the frame. He stayed like that as the seconds, minutes, and hours began to tick by. Around three o'clock in the morning he knew it was time to sleep, so he began his short journey back to the dorm all the while sneaking glances back at the closed door.
In the morning, as he was grabbing trash from the member's breakfasts, he noticed that Jihoon looked incredibly tired and lethargic. Even as he walked outside in the fresh morning air, he couldn't get Jihoon's fatigued face out of his mind.
A few nights later, most of the members had finished with their night practice and had left to go back to the dorm. However, Lee Chan still had to finish writing lyrics and Jihoon, as usual, was enclosed in his studio. Like before, Lee Chan made his way to the door, but this time there was no hesitation as he slowly turned the doorknob. Suddenly, he found himself in almost complete darkness except for the soft light of a computer screen. He noticed Jihoon's back was turned and headphones covered both of his ears. Quietly, he walked toward Jihoon and took a seat in the chair beside him. Not wanting to bother him, he took out his notebook and began to finish the lyrics he had been writing earlier.
Lee Chan noticed Jihoon's gaze rest on him for a few moments but then Jihoon turned back to his computer, and they sat in a comfortable silence. Lee Chan was just glad that he could keep Jihoon company. It didn't matter if it was in silence; in fact, he almost liked the quiet atmosphere of the scratch of his pencil on paper and the occasional tapping of keys or the click of a mouse. Lee Chan knew it was perfectly fine if he didn't fill the silence, so they just sat together in the darkness of the room and the faint light of the computer screen. Eventually, Lee Chan's eyes began to close no matter how much he willed them to stay open and his vision slowly turned to black as his head came to rest on his arms.
When Lee Chan woke up next, sunlight was streaming through the window in the room, a blanket had been draped over him, and Jihoon was nowhere to be seen. Lee Chan began to smile in spite of himself.
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