You sat down on the bench behind your classroom building, sighing lightly. Sometimes you just couldn't take all of the pressing. Even though you could push most of it to the back of your mind, you couldn't take your friends and family constantly pestering you about Bobby to the point where it was all they did when they saw you. Maybe you wouldn't feel like this -- numb -- if they let you forget about him completely. It was like they were trying to fix you by doing the one thing that prevented it. 

As you leaned back in your seat and sighed, you spotted a random guy in a hoodie kicking off on his skateboard in front of you. As he slowly rolled by, he grinned at a friend and shook hands with him before stepping off of his board. There was something about him that reminded you about Bobby, or maybe he wasn't like Bobby at all and it was just that easy for Bobby to pop into your head.

It just seemed to be one of those days.

You smiled slightly -- so slightly maybe it wasn't even enough to be considered a smile -- and looked down at your hands, trying not to let your thoughts grow. You were dumb for thinking about him, about the good you remembered of him when there was so much bad to think of. He was a completely different person now. It wouldn't make sense to dwell on parts of him that weren't there anymore.

The guy dropped down on the bench next to you and sighed as he wiped his cheek with the back of his hand. You glanced over at him as he glanced at you and he smiled slightly. "Sorry, I can leave if you want. I just need to catch my breath for a second."

You shook your head slightly, looking at him in a sort of daze. Now that you really looked at him, you realized he was nothing like Bobby at all. "It's fine."

"Thanks," he said, looking away, up at the sky. "It's hot, isn't it? I can't believe I left my dorm in jeans and a hoodie, but it's all I own."

You laughed airily. Bobby did that too. God, why were you thinking about him? You would get over it. You would.

You looked back at the guy and he looked back at you curiously. You shook your head and blinked, looking away. "Sorry for staring, you just remind me of someone."

"I hope that's a compliment," the guy replied, a slight chuckle b his voice.

You looked down at your hands and nodded slightly. You couldn't believe how hard it was to reply to such simple questions, to a stranger no less, but the words were drowning in your throat. You cleared your throat and looked at him. "Yeah. It's nothing bad."

"What's wrong?" the guy replied as he eyed your conflicted expression and smiled warmly. "I hope you don't mind me asking."

You looked at him, chuckling airily. You couldn't believe you were talking about this with a random stranger, especially when you couldn't talk about it with the people closest to you. "Sorry, I can't. I don't talk about it, not even to my friends."

"Then I'm perfect," the guy replied with a warm smile. "I don't know you and you don't know me. What's the worst that can come from just talking?"

You chuckled dryly, eyeing him confusedly. "I'm sure you don't want to hear about my problems."

"You'd be surprised," the guy replied with a casual shrug. He looked so calm, it was almost as though there was no pressure at all to answer him. "I'm a good listener."

You nodded hesitantly before looking away. God, maybe he was right. Maybe talking to a stranger would help. That way this entire conversation could disappear once it ended and nothing would come from it. No expectations, nothing. You swallowed and looked back at him. "I'm not even sure what I feel. I never give myself the chance to think about all of it. I just throw it all to the back of my mind."

The guy nodded so you continued. "Most of the time, I feel completely numb, and even though it's enough to continue like everything's normal, I know I'm not okay. I say I am only because it makes sense, but it really doesn't. Once you truly feel happy with someone and it just disappears, it's not possible to just move on without thinking about it, is it?"

The guy smiled slightly. "I've never been in love, but I'm sure you're right about that."

You nodded, sighing heavily. It was so hard to talk about this, to articulate feelings you were only now facing, but you forced yourself to anyway. It wasn't like you could just abruptly end the conversation now. 

"He gave up on me," you mumbled, your voice slightly louder than a whisper. "He said I expected too much from him and that I should have less faith in him because I put too much pressure on him. I hate him for it. He should've tried as hard as I did. I hate that he gave up and moved on so easily. And now he hates me because I'm dealing with this in the only way I know how to -- ignoring him, treating him like nothing."

You looked over at the guy and shrugged, expression back to its original lack of emotion. "That's why I hate talking about it."

The guy looked at you for a few moments before nodding slowly. "Maybe he thinks you're asking him for too much instead of supporting him. Maybe you should talk to him about it."

That was what it came down to in the end. All you ever told Bobby was that as long as he stayed out of trouble and did what made himself happy, you were happy. Even considering that, he couldn't help but set his own standards in his head, because he didn't think he was good enough for you. He hated that he couldn't go to college like other guys and that he had to work jobs that amounted to very little. You were just young adults forced to deal with big adult problems. You both didn't know what to do when things got bad, so you just gave up. You gave up everything and this is where it led to.

"There's no hope," you replied as you shook your head. You looked back at him as you stood up and shrugged on your bag. "Thanks for listening, I guess. Sorry again."

The guy smiled and nodded. "It's my pleasure. You don't seem like you talk about what you feel very often."

You shrugged. "What good comes from it?"

"Doesn't it feel at least a little better?" he replied with a small shrug as he stood up and slid his skateboard under his foot. "It should." 

You shook your head as you felt, if anything, more weight on your shoulders. This was why you didn't like to talk about things. You looked at him. "It's only made things worse."

He frowned. "Why?"

"Because now I miss him."

///

"What happened?" Minhee asked as she caught up to you outside of the cafeteria. "You left so suddenly."

"I had a headache," you answered casually as you walked inside of the cafeteria and set your books down. "I just needed to walk it off."

Minhee didn't look too convinced, but before she could fit in anything else, your phone chimed with a message and you pulled it out of your pocket before she could continue.

You sighed.

"From Mom: Family dinner tonight at 7. No if's, and's, or but's!! I expect you all to be there!"

"Got the same message," Minhee replied as she showed you her phone. She raised an eyebrow. "You think Bobby will be there?"

"If he is, I'm not going," you replied flatly as you sat down. "I have stuff to do, anyway."

"You can't skip it,"" Minhee countered, giving you a look. "It's for your mom! You know how much she loves those family dinners."

"Yeah, and I have a bruise and a split lip," you replied gesturing to your face. "She'll freak out and then she'll find out what happened because Hanbin's a terrible liar."

"I can easily cover your bruise with makeup," Minhee pointed out, "and you can just make up an excuse for the lip. She'll buy anything."

You shook your head and sighed as you felt the weight still on your shoulders. You didn't want to face Bobby, not when you felt so weak and exhausted. "I can't, Min."

Just as Minhee opened , you spotted Donghyuk walking in toward your table and you gave her a look to silence her. He dropped down across of you two and sighed with a tired smile. "Is it just me or is this day complete hell?"

"Just you," you replied plainly as you looked away from Minhee to him.

"Jesus," Donghyuk said as he leaned in and examined your face. "What happened to you?"

"I fell," you replied. You were practicing for what you'd tell your mom if you did actually end up going to the dinner.

"Come on, Ahri," Donghyuk replied, giving you an unconvinced look. "We all know only Hanbin's that clumsy."

You sighed as you shoved your phone back in your bag and looked back at him. "Just do me a favor and tell Bobby to stop hanging around random girls with weird vendettas against me."

"That's what happened?" Minhee gasped, looking at you. "Why didn