Jihye's POV:

I was curled up on the couch of Yoongi's studio, idly scrolling through my phone. Yoongi was working on his music on the computer, and he had been gracious enough to let me wait for Jungkook with him. I yawned, feeling incredibly bored. What was taking him so long?

I sat up and stared at Yoongi. He was rolling around on his chair, sometimes going to the computer, sometimes scribbling on his notepad. I started counting the number of times of times he sighed, for lack of a better thing to do. He seemed to sigh a lot.

"83 times." I said, after a while. 

"Hm?" He swiveled his chair around to face me. "What?"

"You've sighed 83 times in the last two hours." I rested my head on my palms. "I kept count."

"That's a productive way to spend your time." He gave me an amused look. 

"Yeah, well, I'm really ing bored." I picked at my nails. "How long until Jungkook's meeting is over?"

"Dunno." He shrugged, turning back. "The manager must have something pretty serious to talk about, if they're taking this long."

I tapped my feet on the floor. Lately, Jungkook felt distant. He wasn't trying as hard to talk to me every day, and our conversations mostly consisted of him saying "hey, I'm really busy, call you later" or "I'm tired, Jihye, talk later" and me just dumbly saying "oh, ok, bye."

I tugged at the hem of his shirt, which I was wearing. It still smelled like him; of faint cologne and strawberries. He always smelled like strawberries. Did he like strawberries?

"Strawberries." I said vacantly.

"What?" Yoongi squawked, not bothering to look away from his computer.

"Sorry, I was thinking out loud." I wondered if strawberries could be any colors besides red. "I do that when I'm bored."

"Man, you kids are perfect for each other." He sighed. 84 times. "Always saying random weird ."

We sat in silence, my thoughts about strawberries and Jungkook accompanied by his pencil scratching against the notepad. I thought about the dreams I had been having lately, where I swear I could hear Jungkook saying he loved me. They seemed so real, that I sometimes wondered if they were real. Probably not, though.

"Hey, Yoongi." I said quietly. 

"Yeah?" He typed something on his keyboard.

"Have you ever been in a relationship?" I wrapped my arms around myself. The air conditioning was pretty cold in their studio.

"A few. Never serious, though." I could tell he was chewing on his lip. "I never really had the time."

"Would you like one? Like, a serious one?"

"Eh." He shrugged. "I'm not actively looking for anyone, so I guess not."

"Why?" I laid back down. "Because you don't have the time?"

"No. Well, yeah. But that's not all." He kept his pen and notebook down, turning to face me. "I want to focus on music now. A relationship requires very serious commitment, and as you said, I don't have the time for it."

"I wonder if Jungkook has the time for it." I mumbled into the armrest, like an off-hand comment. Yoongi sighed again. 

"For you Jihye, he does" He said seriously, his voice firm. "I hope you know that."

"I know." I turned away from him, unable to look him in the eyes. "I'm gonna take a nap. Wake me up when he's done."

I heard him get up and walk over to me. He took off his jacket and put it on me. "It's cold in here."

"Thanks." I mumbled, closing my eyes. I was dreaming pretty soon. 

I dreamt of alligators solving algebra on rocks, of a boy with an annoying smirk failing to balance a pen on his fingers. I dreamt of awards, of blue dresses, of white cottages and old book stores. I dreamt of the night Jungkook left for Seoul. Instead of running away, I had kissed him. He had just stared at me after, in complete silence. Then he had said, "You're not Alice."

Before I could feel the sting of those words, I heard a distant voice say, "I'm in love with her. With Jihye."

And I swear, it sounded so real. 

I woke up to the sound of cars on the road. I opened my eyes slowly, yawning loudly. I was in a car. I turned my head to the side to see Jungkook driving, one hand on the steering wheel and one hand lazily resting on his thigh.

"You can't drive." I mumbled, still struggling to wake up completely. He looked at me, a half-smile tugging at his lips.

"Jin taught me." He explained. 

"No, no, you're not supposed to drive." I corrected myself, rubbing my eyes. "You're a minor."

"Relax, I'm just taking you home." He leaned his head against the cushion. "You don't live that far away."

I remained quiet, staring at him. He looked weirdly attractive today. His red beanie was haphazardly thrown on his hair, and his white shirt (now drenched with sweat) was clinging to his body. He seemed more muscular than I had remembered him to be.

"Enjoying the view?" He laughed. I smiled.

"It's a good view." I conceded. "Although, a little too sweaty."

"Yeah, I didn't take a shower after practice." He adjusted his beanie. "The manager called me right away."

"What did you guys talk about?" I asked, stretching. His expression changed for a second, and then he was back to smiling.

"Nothing. He was just checking up on stuff." He told me. "Why did you come to the studio, though? We were meeting up for lunch anyway."

"Well, something could've always come up for you." I said nonchalantly. Jungkook's smile faded a little. "I just wanted to make sure I saw you."

"Smart." He gave a half-hearted chuckle. I moved my hand so it was resting over his. He hooked his pinky around my finger, looking away shyly. For some reason, it felt like we were back in our schools days; all blushes and shy smiles whenever our hands used to touch. 

"So, what's the plan?" Jungkook said, plopping down on my couch. I let down my hair, walking over to him.

"It's too late for lunch." I crossed my arms, standing in front of him. "Don't you have to go now?"

"Nah, I'm off until tomorrow." He grinned lazily. I raised one of my eyebrows.

"Off? Like a break?" I asked, feeling a little surprised. I couldn't remember the last time he had a break.

"Yeah, like a break." He smirked, tugging on my shirt. "C'mere. I haven't seen you in a long time."

"Be shyer." I grumbled, sitting on his lap. "You'd normally be all flustered and red by now."

"That's not going to happen." He wrapped his arms around my waist. "You look really cute today."

"I know." I threw my hair over my shoulder smugly. 

"You're certainly aware of your cuteness." He smiled, leaning in to kiss me. I placed a finger on his lips, and pushed him away.

"We're not doing anything until you take a shower." I said indifferently, jumping off of him.

"But that's not fair." He whined, following me to the kitchen. He sat on the counter as I fished around the fridge for a drink.

"It's plenty fair." I tossed him a water bottle, settling for soda myself. "I'm not about to kiss a nasty boy who's covered in sweat. That's unhygienic."

"I still kiss you when you're sweaty." He took a small, sad sip of his water. "I don't even hesitate."

"That's because you're very, very whipped." I smiled sweetly, my lips. 

"Oh, I'm way past whipped by now." He said. Then he let out a nervous laugh, like he was both embarrassed by what he had let on, and scared by what it would result in.

I blinked at him, the words I'm way past whipped too, sitting on the tip of my tongue.

"I'll go shower now." He muttered hurriedly, before I could speak, climbing down and tottering to my bedroom.  

I was still standing there, drink in my hand, feeling really confused. He hadn't properly talked to me in a week, and here he was, almost confessing his love for me. Or maybe he wasn't. Maybe my mind was making things up. I didn't ing know anymore. 

I walked into my bedroom after him. He was looking through my closet, searching for something. He looked up as saw me come in.

"Looking for something to wear." He said awkwardly. I put my hands behind my back and walked up next to him.

"All of your clothes are in the laundry. Well, except your sweatpants." I told him. "You could wear the shirt I'm wearing right now."

"But then...what will you wear..." He mumbled, staring blankly at the shelves.

"I have other clothes, ." I laughed, smacking his arm lightly. He laughed nervously as I picked out one of my old t-shirts.

"Can you, um, turn around or something?" I shifted uncomfortably. His cheeks went red as he nodded and flipped on his heel, facing the wall like a kid put in time-out. I quickly shucked off his shirt and put mine on, tapping him to let him know I was done.

"I didn't you know you owned other clothes besides mine." He joked, to fill the awkward silence that kept plaguing us.

"Well, I do." I shifted, the atmosphere weirding me out. "They're all mostly old, though. I haven't bought new clothes in a while."

"You should buy them some time." He said quietly. "You know, new clothes. It must get pretty boring wearing white shirts all the time. I don't mind when you wear my clothes though. But, like, you don't have to. Like, you can totally go out and get new clothes. I wouldn't mind that either." 

I watched in fascination as he babbled on, his sentences cutting each other in a hurry. I decided to have a little fun with him. I stretched as he talked, fully aware that my sleeveless jersey would lift up. He stopped abruptly, a light dusting of red blooming on his cheeks. 

"You ok?" I laughed, walking closer to him and tip-toeing to examine his face out of concern, pressing my body against his in the process. 

"I'm f-fine." He stuttered, stepping backwards. Not going to get flustered, my .

"You sure?" I whispered, my lips, glancing up at him coyly. 

"Yep." He inhaled sharply. "I, uh, bathroom shower now. Yes."

"Cool," I began to say, but he turned around and high-tailed it out of my bedroom, stubbing his foot on the door in the process.  

I grinned to myself and picked a strawberry out from the bowl sitting on my nightstand.

Jungkook's POV:

I stared at myself in the mirror, finding myself unable to move. The smell of green apple radiated off my hair, something I knew Jihye would tell me off for. But I didn't care. I smelled like her, like green apples, vanilla and fresh laundry. 

An international tour, my manager had said. Three months away from Korea. All I heard was three months away from Jihye, from her husky giggles and nose kisses, her tiny fingers wrapped around my thumb. Three months. We'd barely been dating for that long.

"Hey, Jeon! Are you done yet?" Her voice boomed from the living room. She had started calling me 'Jeon' occasionally after she had heard my dance teacher say it. From him, it was a sign of impatience, an indicator that I wasn't proving to be worth his time. From her, it sounded like an endearing nickname. Something you would give an old friend, maybe. 

"Yeah, coming." I yelled back, trying to keep my voice steady. 

I had to tell her. But how could I? Her eyes always seemed to shine, to sparkle around me, and I swear it was one of my favorite things to see. What would happen when I tell her I'm going away for three months? She'd probably smile and say something reassuring. Then I would kiss her wrap my arms around her, and I would pretend not to notice how her grip was stronger, as if she was afraid of letting go. 

I was used to it by now. From the canceled dates and all her events I was too busy to attend, I had her reactions memorized. The downward tug of her lips. The lowered gaze. Her fingers, fidgeting nervously. The silence that would follow for the next few days. I hated the silence most of all. Each time, I wondered if this was when she decided enough was enough, that I was too much to deal with, that I wasn't worth it. But then she would call me, all laughter and jokes, and I would wonder what I had done to deserve her.

"Ko-okie!" She called again. I hummed loudly in reply, trying to focus on drying myself. I shucked on my shirt, and decided it was too hot for my pants. I eyed my black toothbrush sitting next to hers wistfully. I wish I could be that toothbrush, always with the one it loved. 

The sounds of footsteps and the door opening indicated that Jihye had lost her patience, and was going to drag me out. I blinked back the tears that had been threatening me this entire time, saving them for later.

Jihye leaned against the doorway, arms folded, her old New York Yankees jersey dangling loosely off her shoulders. I swear, that jersey would be the end of me. I vaguely remembered her wearing it when we went to the cottage in the woods. She was giving me a weird look.

"You don't take this long, usually." She commented, her lips. That seemed to be a new habit of hers, probably from being around Tae too much. "What's wrong?"

I stared at her wordlessly for a little longer, because , she looked good.

"Jungkook? You ok?" She asked again, more concerned this time, tilting her head forward ever so slightly. Long wisps of hair framed her roundish face, rejoicing after gaining freedom from the tomato-like bun that sat on top of her head. The sunlight from the bathroom window slashed across her collarbones in thin stripes, which made them even more attractive--if such a thing was even possible.

"Huh?" I blinked, bringing my attention to what she was saying. "What?"

"You're worrying me." She furrowed her brows. Her eyes, illuminated by the sunlight, shone a reddish-brown instead of their usual obsidian.

"Sorry." I averted her gaze, finding solace in the tiles beneath my feet. "I'm a little tired, that's all."

"Let's take a nap, then." She suggested, walking up to me. I stiffened up a little as she took the towel out of my hands, drying my hair with it. 

"Wow, you're freezing." She frowned.

"Cold shower." I mumbled.

"Yikes, sorry about that." She chuckled. "Probably should've known better than to stretch like that in front of a hormonal teenager, right?"

I laughed at that, which made her smile. I looked up at her. Tiny droplets of water sat on her nose and eyelashes, the ones that had escaped from my hair. I felt like crying again.

"I wanna nap." I declared, trying my best not to sound like a toddler. She giggled, pinching my cheeks.

"Gosh, you're a big baby." She kissed my nose, laughing. I frowned, and she kissed that away too. "Let's nap."

I let myself be lead to the bedroom, her hand gripping mine tightly. When we reached the bed, she turned around and grinned at me mischievously, before yanking me forward so that I would fall face-first onto the bed. I was too quick for her, however, and I ended up taking her down with me.

She landed on top of me, laughing hysterically as I wrapped my arms around her waist in an attempt to keep her from escaping. She looked at me, still laughing, tickling my sides in order to get me to release her. Thanks to the insane amounts of tickling I had to endure from the members, I was immune to it. I just smirked at her, leaning forward to shut her up with a kiss. 

It wasn't anything like our usual kisses, which were innocent, lazy, or quick. I kissed her passionately, and I could tell she was surprised, by the way her lips clamped shut. Eventually, she gave in, sighing against my lips as she kissed me back.

I felt the tears stinging at my eyes because she tasted like strawberries (my favorite) and citrus and fruit, and it was just so Jihye that I knew that this was what I would miss the most. This familiarity, this comfort, the peace that naturally came with being around her. I didn't have to pretend to be good at everything, I didn't have to pretend that I was silent and mature, I didn't have to pretend at all. The only exception being that when I kissed her, I kissed her like I wasn't going to have to leave, that we had all the time in the world. 

She pulled away first, leaning back slightly and cupping my face with her hands. Her hands were always cold, but in a good way. A sort of warmth came from their frigidness. She studied me, her eyes shining with adoration, lips curled into a tiny smile. 

"You like strawberries, don't you?"

I grinned in reply, flashing my teeth. 

"I just like, had an entire bowl of them right now." She told me, her lips. I noticed the faint stains of strawberry juice on them, which made them appear even redder than they already were. I wanted to kiss her again.

"That's why you taste like strawberries, huh." I said quietly. She smiled at me cheekily. "I love them."

She giggled and pressed her nose against mine.

"I love them." I repeated, wanting to make sure she heard me, trying to make her hear the words I was too scared to say. "I've loved them for quite some time now." 

Her lips twitched upwards, and for a second I thought I saw the realization flicker across her face. But maybe it hadn't. Maybe it was my delusional, hopeful mind making up things. I didn't know anymore.

But then, as if to quell my doubts, she said, "Then I'm really glad I taste like them."

And so I kissed her again, scared that this moment would break, that the reality would hit, that she would slip away from me like sand through a strainer. But the minutes ticked by as they always had--and we kept kissing each other, half-asleep by now, exhausted beyond sanity. 

She soon fell asleep against me, her face tucked into my neck securely, her lips against my neck. I lay there, staring at the ceiling, trying to hold my breath. I pretended that the longer I did that, the slower the sand would escape, the slower the time would pass.

Through barely open eyes, I noticed that our hands were clasped together; knuckles white and nails digging into skin, sort of like a child clinging on to their balloon string.

I fell asleep too, unaware that I had been crying the entire time.

-- 

/doing this without any edits so please notify me of any errors plspls/

My Japan trip is almost over, so I might get back to regular updates guys! 

Also, in case y'all didn't realize, it's been a year since I started this story!! I'm happy, but also a little disappointed since I wasn't able to complete it within a year ;-; Anyways, I'll work hard to write more and improve myself! Thanks to everyone who has stuck with me so far, from those who were there from the beginning to the ones that have just started. I'm always really grateful for you all!! :D

(u guys r srsly the very best ok 10/10 i luv u guys very much yes thx again)