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Prompt: “One is a Socially-Awkward Wallflower”

Pairing: Kai/Chanyeol

Words: ~1500

Dedicated to PaigeTaeminnie.

Vietnamese Translation

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There’s always someone else in his eyes.

 

Jongin’s always had a favourite, and that favourite hasn’t and never will be Chanyeol. Always someone with more perfect lips, rounder eyes, a better facial structure, better bodyline, more talent. Better everything. Not a tall lanky rapper that has little control over his movements.

 

Jongin is, at least to Chanyeol, the epitome of perfection. He has cute, heart-shaped ears, whereas Chanyeol himself has annoying ears that jut out a little too far. Jongin’s cheeks are sunken but this makes him look older than he really is, and it compliments the rest of him. Dark skin that Chanyeol is somewhat envious of, eyes that are entirely too filled with expression for Chanyeol to bear.

 

Like everything else about Jongin, he has an infectious personality. He may not be as boisterous as others, but Chanyeol sees his character. Jongin is kind and caring, and he works far harder than everyone else.

 

Sure, he seems quiet on stage, and the fans only see the dancing machine he’s become, but at home it is a different story. He hears the excitable Jongin in the middle of the night, huffing and panting as he rehearses his dance steps once again. He never tires.

 

Most people don’t look at Jongin for the way he makes certain others are comfortable; for the way he searches for the wide-eyed Kyungsoo in a crowded airport to take his hand, for the way he chucks his muesli bar across to a hungry Sehun after a long day of rehearsing, even though his own stomach is growling. The other members don’t notice these little things, but Chanyeol certainly does.

 

And he hates it.

 

He hates that Jongin never gives him a second glance.

 

“Yeol, are you coming to bed?” Baekhyun calls from across the hall.

 

“Just a minute.”

 

Chanyeol sighs, lifting himself from the living room couch. He had been playing back each of the teasers in turn, reminiscing. It was something he did sometimes, to remind him of his wonderful luck.

 

He would linger perhaps a little too long on Kai’s many teasers. He didn’t like calling the younger teen Kai; for he was always Jongin to Chanyeol. And Jongin was always perfect.

 

His movements were never jerky, not like Chanyeol’s; they flowed. He was always amazed, by the first teaser especially. Jongin managed to effortlessly pull off every single dance move, despite their difficulty in execution. Chanyeol knew they were difficult moves, but Jongin made them seamless. It was like the music flowed through his body. Chanyeol was not surprised when Jongin got his call to debut.

 

 

 

After about a year of training, Chanyeol was ready to give up. He couldn’t control his movements like the others could. He was tall; too tall, and awkward. So, so awkward. He always had a smile plastered on his face to hide his inner turmoil. He was not good enough, not like the others. Even his deep voice was not as good as Kris’ when he rapped, and he was almost certain everyone else had more talent than him.

 

He was just Chanyeol; just stupid Chanyeol.

 

He didn’t intend the cracks to appear, not in an empty room lined with mirrors, with just him and Jongin. The younger teen had more or less volunteered his time, using tutoring Chanyeol on new dance steps as an excuse to get in a little more practice himself.

 

“No, you’re doing it wrong!” Jongin had exclaimed as he kicked Chanyeol’s legs apart.

 

“There, see? Spread your legs further. You can’t keep them so close together because your legs are so long.”

 

Chanyeol had felt overwhelmingly stupid. Jongin had run through the drill again, making it look so simple, as Chanyeol flung his arms about haphazardly behind the younger teen, letting out a hiss as his left leg accidentally cross in front of his right, causing him to trip and fall. He had picked himself up and winced as he placed pressure on his left foot.

 

“It’s like you have two left feet.”

 

That’s what Jongin had said. It was intended as a joke, but it was the final straw for Chanyeol.

 

He had cracked.

 

“I’m not good enough for any of this, I should just give up,” he choked, eyes watering.

 

“I’ll never be good enough. I’m not as talented as everyone else, I’m awkward and stupid, my voice isn’t that good, I should just give up. No one will like me. There’s no way I could debut…”

 

By that stage, Jongin had pressed himself to the floor next to Chanyeol, huffing from practice.

 

“That’s not true,” he said.

 

“This is your dream, right? To perform?”

 

Chanyeol had let out a loud sigh, laying his back on the floor. He shut his eyes, all too aware of Jongin’s eyes on him, watching his every intake of breath. Jongin had placed a hand on his shoulder, to Chanyeol an oddly reassuring gesture from someone he had envied, hated, and loved for such a long time.

 

“Sure,” he had responded.

 

“But this isn’t some Korean drama. You should know now that not everyone’s dream comes true, Jongin. I was naïve to think mine could ever come to pass. I’m just not cut out for this.”

 

And that’s when the sting had hit his cheek. Jongin had slapped him, hard. Chanyeol finally let go of the tears he had been trying to hold in, letting them cascade down his cheeks. He picked himself up, limping over to the doorway, eyes downcast. As his fingers reached for the door handle, Jongin had pressed a hand to Chanyeol’s shoulder.

 

“Chanyeol. You’re too harsh on yourself.” It had come out of Jongin’s lips, barely a whisper.

 

“Are you going to prove yourself correct? Are you really going to be stupid enough to let all the work you’ve done so far go to waste? Because if you do, you’re weaker than I thought you were.”

 

He pressed past Chanyeol, leaving the room silently. Chanyeol stood, head swimming.

 

It took Chanyeol a long time to get to sleep that night.

 

 

 

The next day, they had passed in the hallway like nothing had happened. Chanyeol had somehow got that smile plastered back on his face, Jongin chatting away to Taemin once again. Chanyeol was now a ghost that passed through the mirror-lined walls unseen. This continued on for many weeks, until he was called.

 

Jongin was called first, of course, but Chanyeol couldn’t believe his luck.

 

To be placed in the same group as Jongin. Just the thought was enough to make his heart beat faster.

 

 

 

“You like him, don’t you?” Baekhyun asks in a hushed whisper, glancing across the room.

 

It is one of the few times where all six of them have a break at the same time. Suho, much to Chanyeol’s bemusement, had invited EXO-M around for a small ‘gathering’, as he liked to call it. Chanyeol thought it was just the same as any party, and he hated it.

 

“Why don’t you ask him to dance?”

 

Chanyeol shook his head at the shorter teen, poking him playfully on the cheek.

 

“Yeol, I’ve known you a long time. Stop standing in the corner and go after what you want. No, what you need. Come on, Yeol, just this once.”

 

But Chanyeol doesn’t want to move. He likes to stand away from the rest, his usual happy exterior clouded.

 

“He looks happy enough without me.”

 

And it’s true. He’s standing in the middle of the living room, hips moving against Yixing’s in a synchronous motion. They look good together, Chanyeol thinks to himself. They move well. Yixing is perfect for Jongin; Chanyeol is simply a wallflower. Socially awkward with no skill.

 

Baekhyun huffs, leaning close.

 

“Fine,” he whispers.

 

“If you don’t tell him, I will.”

 

Chanyeol lets out a curse of protest as Baekhyun steps to the centre of the room, dragging Jongin with him to the kitchen. Chanyeol inhales sharply. It is not until Kyungsoo pokes him playfully on the ribs that he notices he’s holding his breath.

 

“You like Jongin.”

 

Chanyeol snorts not too convincingly.

 

“Uh…”

 

And Jongin steps out of the kitchen, marching across to Chanyeol. Chanyeol is taken completely aback when Jongin snakes an arm around Chanyeol’s neck, pulling him down until they’re eye level.

 

“You’re stupid.” Jongin says, and then he smashes their lips together.

 

Everything about the kiss is remarkably awkward, but Chanyeol cannot care less, and neither can Jongin. Baekhyun gives Chanyeol a small smile as they pull apart, Jongin entwining their fingers together. Chanyeol cannot help but grin widely. This is not one of those lingering fake smiles he has plastered across his face on a daily basis. This is, for once, a true smile.

 

“I like you Chanyeol,” Jongin says. Chanyeol searches his eyes. They are genuine.

 

“I’ve liked you a long time,” he finally gathers the courage to verbalise.

 

“See, Chanyeol? You are as strong as I knew you were,” Jongin whispers in his ear. Chanyeol blushes wildly as Jongin leads him down the corridor, the dance quite forgotten.

 

He is now the only one in Jongin’s eyes.