Chapter Eight

Truth Behind His Absence

***

“D-Dad?” A lone tear escaped from Kibum’s eyes followed by another, his mind too shocked to utter anything else other than that word that seems foreign already.

“Kibum..” His Dad tried to smile, his old man’s eyes starting to water as he motioned for his son to come closer.

Hesitantly, he moved forward, tears after tears leaving his eyes at the familiar warmth he felt when his father hugged him, the same warmth just like before.

“Kibum...” He felt his father’s frame shake, his grip on Kibum’s body tightening as if he never want to let go.

“Dad.” He closed his eyes, tears still pouring out, and hugged him back.

“You’re all g-grown up..” His father tried to speak while holding his son’s face, wanting to imprint the image of his growing boy. “I c-can’t believe I’ll meet you here.”

“I h-hate you...” Kibum muttered, biting his bottom lip when he realized that this was the same man who left him when he was just a mere little boy, the same man who never contacted him after all those years.

“S-Son, I’m sorry,” his father apologized, pulling Kibum’s smaller frame to closer to his chest.

“No!” He argued, hitting his chest. “I h-hate you for not c-caring. I h-hate you for not realizing that I am y-your son a-and I n-needed you when Mom l-left. I hate you b-because you forgot that I'm still here, a son needing the l-love of a father! Where were you when that time that I needed a father the most?! W-Where were you when I wanted was just a simple reassurance that someone will a-always be there for me every time I f-fall?!” Kibum inquired while hitting his father chest repeatedly, each hit growing weaker when he reached his final outburst with a strangled sob. "Where were you?!"

“Why d-did you leave me alone?” He whispered, hands curling at the front of his father’s shirt while his father hugged him tighter, murmuring repeated apologies.

“I’m sorry, son.”

Kibum just cried. His tired of crying all the time but why is crying the only thing that he can do in his messed up life?

A couple of minutes passed, only the soft whispers of apology and the blow of the wind audible in the almost deserted cemetery, Kibum’s sobs slowly coming to a halt after he let his pent-up anger out, tiring him completely.

His father brought him along to the soft ground, sitting there while keeping Kibum’s head tucked on his father’s shoulder, Kibum releasing a shaky breath every few minutes.

“W-Why?” Kibum whispered after a few tensed silence, wanting to know his father’s side of the story since his Imo only told him that his father married another woman and nothing more. He wants to know why he left. Why did he never  looked for Kibum after the incident? Is he that of a burden?

He felt his father hug him tighter before starting, “After the incident, Yubin told me that your Mom didn’t make it and that y-you hated me. She said that you never wanted to see me again and I thought that you really mean it.” His father explained, eyes set on the old bouquet of roses he brought whenever he come here.

"But Imo said you married the woman you and Mom were fighting that day." Kibum reasoned out, shivering at the tragic memory, darting a glance at his father who shook his head in response.

 “I did not cheat on your mother. I was meeting a client on a restaurant a few weeks back when she saw me. She did not let me explain and eversince then, she would always accuse me of cheating on her. I swear Kibum, I never cheated on your mother. She keeps on bringing the topic of me cheating whenever we argue on so little things and I just snapped. Snapping at her was the biggest mistake I’ve ever done.”

"I never saw you again." Kibum whispered.

“I’m sorry buddy, I tried calling Yubin on her house many times but she always say that you’re at school or you’re busy doing something.” His father continued, Kibum’s brows furrowing in confusion because he never knew anything about those things. Is it why she sometimes stare at him weirdly while having a phone call when he was young?

“Why didn’t you visit me at her house personally then?” Kibum tried to reason, defending his Imo who took care of him all those years.

“I did, son.” His father confessed, smiling at the faint memory. “You were eight then when I saw you at one of their swings. I wanted to call you so bad but a boy came to stop in front you while wiping your tears. You never knew how much it pains me to see my boy crying.”

Kibum bit his lip while looking at his linked hands, that was the day when his other best friend told him that he’s going away. He smiled at the memory of his friend, how is that rabbit doing?

“Even if I wanted to be with you, Yubin was always making excuses. When I went to your school, I can't approach you simply because I think you don't want to do anything with me a-anymore." He saw  his father's eyes starting to water. "It came to a point when I realized that I am failure as a father so I d-decided to commit suicide.” Kibum’s eyes widened and he turned to his father who smiled sadly.

“When I was about to end my life by jumping off a bridge, as cliché as it sounds, a woman stopped me from doing so. She said that how could I just commit something unforgivable when there are even more people in the world who have more problems compare to me.” He saw a gentle smile dancing on his father’s face.

“Is that woman your wife now?”  He asked quietly and he saw his father’s eyes darken with regret, his body going stiff before he nodsd, “Kibum, please understand th-”

“It's okay." He muttered weakly, looking at his hands while giving a small timid smile. He understand. He knew he can't change the fact that his father married again, instead of throwing a tantrum like spoiled brat, he should just accept it, right?

Right, he thought, puffing his breath silently. I just want my life to be normal just like before.

"You can meet them, you know? If you want to.." his father tried to smile, Kibum furrowing his brows.

"Them?" He asked aloud.

His father sensed the slight edgy sound of his son's voice, Kibum looking at him unsurely.

"Let's talk it over a lunch, okay?" His father smiled, rufflung his son's raven locks, Kibum nodding in response though he's not sure if he's ready listening to this matter.

“I still need to know why my son is crying.”

, he thought to himself, not sure if he wants to tell his father about Jonghyun and his conflicting and weird emotions.

***

Where is that brat? Jonghyun thought to himself when he noticed the mansion was rather empty, no sign of a raven who was always talking with anything under the sun with JinHae.

Why do I care? He mentally scoffed, entering the kitchen and grabbing a drink before doing his late morning jogs every Saturday, spotting JinHae who was wiping plates at the kitchen counter.

"Hi Jonghyun." JinHae smiled, Jonghyun grunting in response just as JinHae's phone rang.

"Hello Kibum?" She answered, Jonghyun's ears perking up at the phone conversation.

"Oh.