twelve
thinking

We go back to the Love House with food to make dinner and more snacks, although Eun Bi keeps control of them so they kids don’t eat that much junk food. She is also in charge of making dinner and although Eun Bi asks her sister to help her, I come in between offering myself instead and none of the twins fight me about it, so I end up in the kitchen realising I have no skills whatsoever to cut vegetables or the like. Eun Bi is both amused and irritated with me. Even if she gives me one disapproving glare, I only smile sheepishly and she ends up shaking her head and just doing it herself. 

I’m more like moral support than an assistant, to be honest.

After our conversation when we were out, I still feel my heart fluttering and it’s hard not to burst out giggling because I have more hopes than I ever had. A part of me still can’t believe I actually have a chance and I still expect to wake up and realise it was all a cruel dream.

At times, Eun Bi turns to look at me with one of her fond smiles and I think that if I’m dreaming then I hope to never wake up.

Once dinner is ready, we all eat together and before we have to go back to Seoul, I do something I saw Eun Bi doing before: I make sure the kids get ready for bed, asking if they brushed their teeth. The kids chuckle when I do the same gesture Eun Bi used to do, trying to look stern when I find out two of them haven’t brushed their teeth yet. I grab those kids, one under each arm, and take them to the bathroom while these laugh happily.

When I come back after making sure those kids were ready for bed, Eun Bi is staring at me with a proud look in her eyes and that beautiful smile of hers.

On the ride back Eun Bi and Not Eun Bi sit together and they are too tired to stay awake, so they lean on each other and sleep. I, who’s sitting at the other side, just look at them. Well, I just look at Eun Bi, to be honest. She says to be really considering accepting my feelings and I can’t help the excitement I feel every time I even remember that, and as I stare at her I wonder what I can do to help her make her decision. 

If Eun Bi picks me, she’ll have to properly reject Yi An and I’m not sure she can do that. Even if she’s moving on, she truly liked him at some point and I’m pretty sure she can’t get over those feelings that easily. I don’t know what she saw in him and why she liked him, but if I know something about feelings is that you can’t control them. Even if you want to forget about someone it does’t work like that. Not just because you want to, your feelings magically disappear. Some people say you forget someone with someone new, but I’m not so sure about that, it looks like deceiving to me. Yet, if Eun Bi wants to use me to forget about Yi An, I’d happily help her.

My fear is, in the best case scenario she picks me, that when she tries to close the chapter with Swimmer Boy she’ll be swayed. Yi An claims to like Eun Bi and be sure about his feelings, so if Bi Eun comes and tells him she’s changed her mind and will be with me instead, he’ll pu