eleven
memory lane

Whatever talk of soul mates was, now is forgotten with the cake and then the games we play. Even I forget about it, just having fun with the kids. The twins team against each other with some kids on every team, I of course play for Eun Bi, for which Eun Byul can’t stop complaining and saying how unfair the situation is, so we give four more kids to her team. Her team wins, and as penalty we have to go buy food for dinner. We don’t take the kids in our team, of course, so it’s only Eun Bi and I, which isn’t bad at all.

On our way to the shop, she points every place she used to work at and tells me more about her life. 

“The boss in the café was crazy, I swear. She wouldn’t stop shouting, even if we hadn’t done anything wrong. She fired people on whims. I was actually relieved when I got sacked,” Eun Bi laughs as she tells the story. “It was so stressful to work for her.”

“So it’s true you were the queen of part time jobs. I haven’t worked a day in my whole life.”

“I guess that’s nice.” She shrugs as we keep walking, calmly and comfortably. “It was hard and exhausting, but it was rewarding. I liked it, especially when I got paid for my hard work. It’s a very nice feeling.”

“If you decide to get a part time job again, let me know. I might try it, too. It’d be fun if I’m with you, I think.” It’s not like I need to work, but maybe it would be a good experience and if that grants me more time with Eun Bi, then even better.

“I help omma with the store on the weekends. Even if it’s not paid, I think that’s for the best.”

“Would it be okay if I go one day to help? Instead of staying home just playing?” She laughs before turning to smile fondly at me, even ruffling my hair that’s quite longer now, falling in a fringe again, still dark. “Yah, don't mess with my idol look,” I , grabbing her wrist to stop her. “Don’t you know how important my looks are?”

She laughs again, but I don’t let go of her wrist, even when I lower her arm.

“Mianhae.” Even if she is apologising, her smile is amused. I don’t think she is sorry about it. “I shall never mess with your idol look again.”

“Good. Now why don’t you show me your school now? Is it near?”

“Oh,” she affirms. “Come.”

She doesn’t realise how I slide my hand until I’m holding hers, I don’t think she even notices it, and if she does, she says nothing about it. We walk like that, my hand wrapped around hers as my heart races and my smile is sempiternal on my lips.

She tells me about the time when going to school was nice, when she enjoyed it and had friends. She even tells me about the time when she used to be president of her class and was liked by everyone before Kang So Young came in the picture.

Even if it’s in the past, even if things are better now, I can still hear the change in her voice when she mentions her. The scars that girl left in my Eun Bi are deep and ugly, and it fills me with frustration that I can’t do anything to take them away, to push away all that pain she suffered. I wish I could erase the bad memories so she would only have nice and heartwarming ones. All I can do is holding her hand a bit tighter.

“I should’ve been your classmate