11.

Chapter Eleven

He snatched up the handle of the suitcase, lifting it with easy, “Nothing,” Kai said, heart sinking in his chest.

~

Quickly, Kai packed his belongings, throwing them into the suitcase without care. Once he was done, he zipped up the case and threw it on the bed. He then grabbed his coat and phone, and headed towards the door.

“Where are you going?” Tao asked, still packing his many belongings. “Our flight leaves in a few hours. You can’t just--”

“I’ll be back in time, Tao, don’t worry,” Kai interrupted as he opened the door to leave, “Tell mom I went to the story to get something.”

“Okay, but what are you actually doing?” Tao shouted, but Kai was already gone, flying down the steps of the hotel stairwell, too amped up to wait for the elevator.

Once Kai reached the ground floor, he kept going, only stopping to wait for the light to change at intersections. Within a few minutes, Kai reached Luhan’s apartment building and ran up the stairs to his apartment. Heart pounding in his ears, Kai knocked on the door of Luhan’s apartment and waited. Distantly, he could hear Luhan’s bear feet padding across the floor and internally tsk-ed. Lu should wear socks, the floor is cold and could give him a cold and--

“Kai?” Luhan questioned groggily, breaking Kai’s train of thought. “What are you doing here?”

“I…I-I’m leaving.” he stated simply.

“Yeah, and what’s new?” a scowl came over Luhan’s face and he began to shut the door, “Goodbye, Kai.”

“I was going to choose you. You and our baby.” Luhan froze, eyes widening, “I was going to choose us. I had my mind and heart set, nothing could’ve stopped me.” Kai felt his eyes water and he dropped his gaze to the floor.

“There’s a ‘but’ in there somewhere,” Luhan said, hiding his shaking hands by holding the door, half-way shut.

“My father got a call. The Western Shore Pack attacked us. Two of our guards were injured. It’s an act of war. I can’t duck out now and leave my pack defenseless, scrambling for an alpha and some semblance of safety. I want to,” Kai stepped forward, pushing the door open, and Luhan’s boneless fingers let it happen, “I want to be a father. I want to love you,” his hands found Luhan’s belly and gave Luhan a watery smile, “But I can’t and I’m sorry.”

Kai turned to leave, the tears already cascading down his cheeks.

“Kai,” Luhan called softly.

The elder turned back around in response, surprised when Luhan kissed him. Immediately, Kai’s arms wounded around Luhan’s waist, while the younger’s hands gingerly held Kai’s face.

A few moments, Luhan pulled back, resting his head on Kai’s chest. “You’re forgiven,” he pulled away, hastily wiping tears away, “It’s okay. Move on. Take care of your family.”

They stared at each other for a moment, before Kai nodded dutifully. “Bye, Lu.”

“Bye, Kai.”

~

4 months later...

Kai throws himself into the thick of the battle, tackling one wolf and moving on the next with it’s bloody jugular still warm in his maw. The pain from well-aimed bites and kicks don’t faze him, and--in what seems like minutes-- the battle is over, the remaining wolves of the Western Shore pack cowering in fear, their necks bared to Kai in submission. In his bloodthirsty haze, he almost orders his men to kill the four that remain, but there’s a nearly blinding pain in his side that snaps him out it.

“Go!” Kai barks, canines bared and stained with the gore of their kin.

They immediately sprint out of the clearing, quickly disappearing west, towards their territory. Kai sends a few men to chase them out, to make sure they cross the line to leave and then rounds up the rest of his kin. Two dead, seven injured, the rest of his fifteen fine.

“Alpha,” calls his second in command, Yifan, “You are injured.”

Kai brushes away his concern with a snort, “I am fine, Yifan. Help the injured toward the reservation and I’ll supervise the burial.”

“You are in no shape to do anything but go back to camp, Alpha,” Yifan’s tone is respectful and worried, but it irritates Kai nonetheless, “Your flank is bleeding heavily from several bites and you are limping. You have fulfilled your duties as Head Alpha, you should go to Yixing.”

“Thank you, Beta, but I can determine whether I need healing or not, and I do not. Do as I say please, help the injured back to the reservation, I will follow when the lost have been buried.” Kai watches in satisfaction as Yifan bares his throat before nodding and wandering off.

“Alpha!” someone calls, “We found a suitable place.”

Kai limps toward the one who called him, Jongdae. “Where?” Jongdae nods towards a small area of the clearing not marred with bodies or blood, “Good. I’ll help you dig.” he begins to shuffle towards the spot but his hind leg gives out on him.

“Alpha!” is the last thing he hears before everything goes black.

~

Light is shined into his closed eyes, rousing him from a pain-induced coma.

“Alpha, can you hear me?” a soft voice calls. “Are you awake?”

Kai nods and then opens his eyes, cursing at the bright light. “Dammit, Yixing, turn off the flashlight.”

Yixing quickly turns it off, smiling at his alpha. “You’re one lucky son of a .” he said.

“What are you talking about, Yixing?” Kai grunts out, struggling to sit up.

His sides felt as they were lit on fire and Kai curses, giving up and laying back down.

“You’re lucky your didn’t die, this time,” he says, shooting Kai a withering look, “You have several infected wounds on your body, Kai. Some of them so infected that I feared I’d have to lop off a limb or two.”

The young alpha’s heart jumped in his chest, “You don’t--”

“I don’t,” Yixing reassured him, “But you were close. Yifan and Jongdae told me about how you heave yourself into every battle, how injured you’ve been getting, but not once have you asked me for a healing cream or gauze. Everyone was so worried when Jongdae and them brought you in from the battle, unconscious and bleeding; your mother was in pieces, as was everyone else. We feared you wouldn’t make it; you’d lost so much blood,” the elder male sighed, “You can’t keep doing this, Kai.”

Guilt racked his chest and he lowered his head in shame, not responding.

Yixing patted his shoulder, “I know you miss him and I know you ache for your child, but getting yourself hurt isn’t going to help anyone. You picked the pack, so now you have to protect it. Getting yourself all good and dead without an eligible successor isn’t the way to go about it.”

Kai only nodded in response and closed his eyes against the throbbing in his heart.

“Taeyeon’s outside…. She wanted to come in when I said I thought you were awake, but I thought it be best she waited outside. I won’t be able to hold her off for long, so be ready.” the doctor said as he exited.

Soon, Kai was alone and left with his thoughts and feelings, with nothing to draw away from the agony that had set up residence in his chest. Kai couldn’t cry, he couldn’t shift and howl the black sky, he couldn’t do anything but sate his resentment and misery with the blood of his enemies, but that still caused him guilt, because somewhere along the line it changed. It changed from distracting his heart, to distracting his head, overlapping the emotional pain his head made him feel with the physical pain from the lashes of his adversaries. Now he took one or two blows before returning his own deathly strike and moving onto the next, letting each cut, damage and fracture pile on top of each other, resulting in his weak state now. There was nothing but the dull throb of healing cuts on his sides to block his debilitating thoughts and tears he couldn’t let fall prickled at Kai’s eyes.

A/N: What is authornim's writing? idk. :P I sort of like this chapter, but I had a really hard time getting it down in way that would make sense to y'all, who can't read my mind and know what I mean, but here it is nonetheless, enjoy! ALSO DID YOU NOTICE OUR BEAUTIFUL POSTERRR /screams/. I have the cool person who did this all linked up in the foreward so if you wanna know about that, go there. Anyhoo, I've got to go now, I'm exhausted bc I'm a grandma (its only 9:40 pm here -.- ) and I'm gonna head to sleep. Let me know what you think of the chapter and the new poster. Love you all, byeeee!!!