A/N: DOUBLE UPDATE!!! PLS READ THIS FIRST!!

              When Hani was born, she was like a perfect crystal that had emerged from the earth. Unpolished, raw with potential and glistening with possibilities for a bright future. She was born into a family of fame and fortune, where both parents were millionaires with empires under their names. It was clear that Hani would be destined to follow in their footsteps and be moulded into the most expensive diamond ring money could buy.

                Hani’s mother was once married, and lost her first born in a tragic earthquake. After the accident, she was determined to make sure her current children, older son Sehun and daughter Hani would never suffer the same fate as her first child. They would grow up to be icons of society, leaders and most importantly successful. It was safe to say her mother was traumatised by it all.

                Hani and Sehun had rather strict upbringings. They were sent to the finest and most prestigious schools money could buy, where discipline and order was the first rule every child had to obey. Classes ran every day from 8 in the morning till 5 at night, from Latin to Dance, from Science to Liberal Art History and Gymnastics to Soccer. Hani had ballet, violin and piano classes after school while her brother had lacrosse, hockey and guitar lessons. They were told to always walk with their head held high, how to smile for photoshoots and how to bow and curtsy like proper ladies and gentlemen. While other kids could run outside and play in the mud, Sehun and Hani were on their parent’s lap as they were interviewed for the nightly news.

                As they got older, Sehun was taken under his father’s wing to learn the family business. “This business is for boys,” her father always said, patting Sehun’s shoulder. “One day your brother will grow to take over my business, and expand it bigger than ever before.”

                “What about me daddy?”

                “Just follow your mother Hani. Just follow your mother.”

                And she did. She followed her mother on business trips, office visits, charity drives and fancy dinner parties. She hung around kids who were mostly older than her, many of which refused to play with her because she was so young. Her mother brought her the latest fashions from the runway, and dressed her in the finest shoes, but no matter how lovely she looked, she had no friends.

                Nature and books were her best friends. Hani was lucky enough to be living in a compound with a 3 acre yard covered in flowers and all sorts of shrubbery. She used to wander around and disappear for hours on end, not bothering to get up no matter how many times her maid or nanny called and searched for her. She would lie on the ground and watch the clouds on top of her, wondering if she could be a cloud. Clouds don’t need to wear clothes, or fancy shoes or go to stupid violin classes. Clouds could just float by and no one would notice them, yet everyone knew where they were.

                Everyone knows who Hani is, but no one notices her.

                Hani spent her young years reading. When she was 5, her nanny read Dr. Seuss for the very first time before she went to bed. Her parents were too busy working to care, and her brother was late from lacrosse practice. Her nanny always said, “Books never make you feel lonely. If you feel lonely, just read a book.”

                Her house had a huge library, with more books than Hani could ever imagine. She spent late nights, lazy evenings and even early mornings in there, reading a thousand pages and living a thousand lives. She started sneaking books into her purse when she followed her mother to special events that bored her. She would take her book out, head to a corner and read about a land far far away, the further from where she was, the better.

                Her mother was disappointed in her hobbies. “Lying on the grass is a common girl habit!” she scolded Hani once. “You should be dancing, or going to plays and charity events like a proper girl!”

                “But mother I hate doing those!”

                “Now listen to me Wu Hani, do you want to grow up to be like your father and I? Do you want to be rich and successful? If you do then you will follow my instructions, do you understand?” she smacked her daughter’s bottom, and threw her book to a side. Hani was only 10 when it happened, so she believed she was wrong.

                Her upbringing did not get easier when she got older. Hani excelled in her studies, and showed great interest in science and math. Puberty treated her well, and she grew into a beautiful young lady with curves and long legs. Modelling agencies started making love-calls and her mother was excited to have a daughter in the fashion industry. Hani went to a few auditions, just to please her mother, and soon found herself enjoying it too. Fashion was one of the few things she had in common with her mother, and both mother and daughter became fast friends.

                Then, her parents started fighting. Her mother accused her father of cheating on her, saying he was having an affair. Her father did not deny, and said yes, he was in love with someone else. He packed up his belongings and left the house, leaving his wife a broken a woman and his children heartbroken. Hani was furious at her father. How could he do that?!?!? How could he do such a selfish thing?! How could he leave her poor mother like that? How could he leave their family like that?!

                “Listen here Wu Hani, you will never cry over a man.” Her mother told her when she went to comfort her mother. “Men here are useless. They will chew your heart and spit it back out. Promise me Hani, that you will live for yourself and not for a man. Never cry for a man, okay?”

                “I promise mother.”

                “I only have you, Hani. I only have you now.” Her mother held her daughter close, tucking her head under her chin and patting her head gently, the same way she used to when she was young.

                “I’ll never leave you mother.”

                “Thank you Hani. Thank you.”

                Her brother started arguing with her mother as well. It turned out that Sehun had fallen in love with a man, and wanted to marry him. Mother was upset, because Hani’s father has also fallen in love with a man. “It’s a sickness you’re having!!!” she spat at Sehun, claiming his homouality was a disease, as if it was transferred by his father.

                “I am not sick mother!!!” Sehun screamed at her. “I am your son and I am in love! If you can’t accept it then I’m out of here!”

                “GO!!!” Her mother chased Sehun out, screaming at his insolence, disobedience and betrayal. “After all I have done for that boy…He must be spending too much time with his father…I knew it! I shouldn’t have sent him to spend all his time with that man!”

                Hani tried to get her brother to reconcile with her mother, but Sehun refused. “Just come back home Sehun! All you have to do is apologize to mother…”

                “I don’t have to apologize about anything.” Sehun insisted. “I want to be with Luhan and if she won’t approve of it then fine. I don’t need her approval. Dad said he’s going to give me his shares of the company, which is going to make me the boss. What does she have on me huh? Nothing!”

                “I can’t believe you would do this to her! She’s suffering Sehun! Can’t you see she hasn’t been normal since the divorce?! Dad…”

                “No Hani, you’re the one who can’t see. You’re the one who’s blind! Can’t you see that mother is trying to influence you on her side? Can’t you see that she is trying to make it look like she is the victim here? She’s using you Hani!!”

                “Don’t talk about her like that and I am not blind!!” she screamed at her brother. If anything, both children inherited their parent's stubborness.

                Hani couldn’t see what was going on. Her devotion to her mother was innocent and pure, and she insisted on doing everything she could to make her mother happy. She started a career in modelling and became very successful. She was introduced to Jongdae and started dating him, despite knowing he was a sociopath. The one thing she couldn’t give up was her studies. Hani had secretly enrolled herself into Kyunghee University’s biochemical programme, and was attending classes incognito.

                A while before the divorce, her mother hired a new family driver named Xiumin. At least that was what she called him. On paper he was called Minseok, but the rest of the family called him Driver Kim. Driver Kim was only a few years older than Hani, and he was handsome and well built. He was always polite, on time and had a nice laugh. Hani enjoyed the car rides with him, he was very friendly and liked to make her laugh.

                Her marriage to Jongdae quickly soured. Jongdae was too busy with his work and ‘social parties’ that he left Hani alone on most nights. Hani had to sleep on an empty four poster beds with sheets made from Egyptian cotton all by herself. She was wearing a ring that symbolized love and union, but she had none of that in her marriage.

                The worst part was watching how close her husband and her mother were together. Jongdae and her mother always had something to talk about, be it business, gossip or even about the weather. Jongdae loved to make the matriarch laugh, and Hani remembered the last time Jongdae made her laugh was on their earlier dates. During one fateful lunch together, Hani had to leave for a photoshoot and asked Jongdae to come with her. She had always wanted Jongdae to come and watch her work, but her husband said he had something to discuss with her mother.

                “With my mother? What are you guys talking about?”

                “Oh just stocks and stuff. It’s quite important but I’m afraid you won’t understand.”

                “Go along honey, Jongdae will send me back home, won’t you?” her mother teased.

                “Anything for you Su-En.” Jongdae wiggled his eyebrows and they laughed. Hani felt embarrassed to be sitting there so she quickly stood up and went to the washroom. Since when did Jongdae call her mother by her name? Isn’t he supposed to call her mother, or mom or something? What is this?

                Hani left the washroom and was about to head off, but before that, she accidentally overheard their conversation. She listened for a bit, and realized that the two of them were planning to open a firm together. So that’s what was going on, she thought. Hani felt hurt and betrayed. Why wouldn’t they tell her? Why did they claim she wouldn’t understand? Was it because she wasn’t a businesswoman but a model instead? Was that it? Did they think she was just a dumb airhead who only uses her body?

                Hani felt like a child again, and she ran downstairs into the limo where Driver Kim was waiting. She begged him to go, because she couldn’t bear another minute in that awful place. She pictured her mother and Jongdae making fun of her upstairs and felt like crying, but she couldn’t. She would not allow herself to cry over a man. She just breathed heavily and chewed her bottom lip, fanning her eyes repeatedly.

                “Lady Hani, are you alright?” Minseok asked.

                “I’m fine Minseok.”

                “Are you sure? Perhaps we should stop somewhere. You really can’t work like this.”

                “Anything Minseok. Just get me out of here.”

                They drove out of Seoul and into the countryside, where there were no city buildings, but miles and miles of trees instead. They drove past quaint farmhouses and beautiful meadows, until they arrived at a hilltop. There was a lone tree on top of the hill overlooking the beautiful country and its paddy fields. Hani stepped out of the car and breathed in the fresh air. She could hear the birds and feel the wind on her skin. Not the fake wind caused by fans, but real, natural wind.

                “We can stay here until you feel better.” Minseok smiled. His smile could open doors and unlock hearts, and Hani found herself opening up to him. She told him everything, how ridiculed she felt in front of mother and husband, and how lonely she was.

                “You don’t deserve to be unhappy Lady Hani.” Minseok her head and tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear.

                “Oh Minseok, nobody has ever cared about what I wanted. I just feel so stupid right now.”

                “You can ever be stupid. You’re in Kyunghee University for heaven’s sake!”

                “Don’t ever tell anyone about it.” She smiled a little. She looked up at Minseok and noticed the little dimples at the side of his face.

                “I promise.”

                They kissed for the first time under the tree on top of a hill. Minseok was strong and sturdy, holding onto her like they would never see each other again. Hani had never been kissed like that before. She had never felt her heart beat so fast, her nerves felt like they were on fire, but her mind was so at ease, like she was in peace and finally where she needed to be.

                This was how their affair had begun. While Jongdae continued his philandering activities, Hani never went to sleep alone. Minseok was always there to listen to her stories, to relieve her of her stress and made her feel like she was the only woman in the world. The bed was never truly empty, and it was filled with marks and pieces of their love strewn all over. Hani thought it was indecent to make love to another man on the bed she was supposed to share with her husband but Minseok was not another man. He was a part of her.

                Hani graduated from Kyunghee University secretly and started her own cosmetic company. Her family was excited when they found out, but she refused any financial help from them. She was determined to run the company the way she planned, and she was going to be its biggest shareholder. The cosmetic brand would belong to Wu Hani alone, and it was going to be her thing, and not her mother’s. She caught the look of surprise on her mother and husband’s face when she told them of her decision, and she revelled in it. It was like a childish part of her was jeering back, saying take that!

                Eventually, Hani had enough of it. She decided to file for divorce, but her mother threatened to disown her if she did. Hani and her mother had a big row, and she finally confessed then that she was in love with Minseok.

                “You cannot be together with him!! I will not allow it!”

                “Why not?!?!? You can’t stop me from being together with him!”

                “Wu Hani you better snap back to your senses, this is not how I raised you to be! He’s a driver for heaven’s sake! You think a driver would be able to feed you, support your career and afford that house you are living in?! You would be sticking your in a small one bedroom apartment and eating off discount coupons at the dollar store!”

                “I can support myself! I don’t need Minseok to give me money! I can make my own!” Hani shrilled, throwing her hands in the air. “You just want me to stay married because it’s good for your business, not mine!!”

                “Hani, Jongdae is your husband and I will not let you treat him the way your father treated me so you better stop this foolishness!”

                “Mother, Jongdae is cheating on me! He’s a sociopath and he’s doing what dad did about a million times over! I’m sick of this marriage I need to get out!”

                “Never, I would not allow it.”

                “Mother!”

                “If you divorce him, you are no longer my daughter.” Her mother gripped her chin and looked her straight in the eye. “Choose. Me, or your driver.”

                Hani couldn’t believe how insane her mother was behaving. What kind of mother would do this to her own child? Their frayed relationship strained even more when newspapers started doing coverage on Jongdae and her mother’s firm. Everyone in Seoul knew they were working together, and the next question is Why isn’t Hani involved? What is she doing?

                One day, Hani found her mother’s diary in her room. It was quite by accident, and Hani had no intention of reading it, but the diary had fallen off the table and opened at her feet, so she picked it up. Inside, there were poems and passages about her love for another man. It was mostly stories of love and longing, and Hani was confused and enraged. Was her mother involved with another man? Reading on she realized her mother was still pining for her first husband, which lead to the failure of her second marriage. She wrote about missing her first son and Hani felt like crying. Her mother’s past life was all she cared about.

                Then, she read that her mother was leaving all her belongings to Minseok. Hani was shocked. Was heer mother was in love with Minseok?!?!? Why else would she leave everything to him?! She ripped the page and threw it into the fireplace, but she was livid. How dare her mother steal her man?! Was that why she didn’t allow the divorce?! Because she was in love with Minseok?!?!?!?

                Hani had lived her whole life serving her parents, her mother, her family’s intense reputation and her cheating husband. Enough was enough. Hani now hated her mother more than anything. Her brother was right, she was blind for too long.

                Hani knew that oleandric acid would be the most natural and undetectable poison, so she extracted how doses of it from the plant and put them in a pill. She snuck into her mother’s house on the day of her charity dinner hosted at her house and silently switched the pills that her mother had laid out on the table. She watched her mother swallow the poison pill and she snuck away, accidentally tearing her button up on the fence, but she was too flustered to care. She escaped in her Mercedes, knowing the pill would not take long to have its effect.

                Hani took acting lessons when she was young, so she had no trouble portraying the sad, grief-stricken daughter when news of her mothers’ death arose. Hani had it planned, with her mother out of the way and her partnership with Jongdae now broken, Hani could file for divorce and live with Minseok, but now police had begun its investigation and this Detective Park would not back down. Hani had to be careful.

                Minseok knew what she had done. She never said a word but somehow Minseok knew. Minseok thought she was insane, and Hani begged him not to say a word, but she didn’t say that he had to go and take the blame.

                He was going just to rip the plants and dispose of them, but Baekhyun had caught him in the act. He was arrested and in order to save Hani, he confessed to being the murderer. She would have no idea of the truth behind their relationship, and how much her mother paid to have it hidden.

                The day Hani was convicted for murder was the most heart-wrenching day of her life. She lost her mother, her brother and father would never see her again and she knew she would never see Minseok again either. She knew she would never love anyone else the way she loved Minseok, with all her heart and soul. She murdered her mother to be with him, and in the end she will never be able to.

                She felt like a fool, a dancing puppet that broke all her wooden toes for a performance no one would be able to see. It was all in vain, all worthless but somehow there was a small sense of liberation. Hani was no longer married, and she didn’t have to live to please her mother. When she introduced herself to her inmates, it would be just Wu Hani.

                She begged for her mother’s forgiveness, and prayed for her family to be happy. She prayed for Minseok to find true love, and she prayed she would have the strength to live through each day in prison.

                She lived her whole life as someone else, and only when she lost someone was she able to begin the discovery of who she really was.

A/N: Click on next for the epilogue!