Kyungsoo waited for Kai to say anything about what he had heard earlier. But he didn’t say anything. He just continued looking down at his blanket. Kyungsoo doesn’t like their situation right now. He is also tired of presuming things so he just confronted Kai so that his problem will be solved.

            “You heard everything.” Kyungsoo said. “You have something to say about it?”

            “Nothing.”

            That’s the first slap that he felt. The first pain that he experienced by loving someone. That’s why he felt numb for a few seconds. He continued standing in front of Kai.

            “You won’t feel proud that I loved you like what you always brag to me when you learn that someone loves you?” Kai remained silent. “To be honest, I wasn’t expecting this kind of reaction from you, Kai. I thought, since we are always together and you always say to me that I’m the most important man in your life, you will be glad somehow if you learned that I love you. I mean, you’re a guy who loves someone who pays attention to you. But why is it different when it comes to me? If you’re playing with me, you must be somehow paying attention on me. Even for a while. But you can’t even look at me.”

            Kyungsoo doesn’t imagine that in the 22 years of his life, he would be able to confess like that just for a guy. He highly thinks of himself. But he lowered his pride because of Kai. Because he fell in love. In any case, he was fine with it. He had never been proud of himself for being this tough.

            Or could it be that he was just too numb from the pain to even feel it?

            “Maybe… you really just see me as a friend.” Kyungsoo tried to laugh but it sounds so hollow even in his ears. “Friends should not feel like this for each other because everything will be complicated. Now I’m saying ‘sorry’. Because I can’t help but to feel that way. It’s your fault for being so sweet that you were able to go through my tough façade. But in the first place, if you don’t want me to fall in love with you, you shouldn’t have come close to me. Because you are right, you’re the only man in my life.”

            “I shouldn’t have said that.” Kai finally said. But his gaze remains on the ground. “You deserve a man in your life.”

            “My heart will decide on that.”

            “I know the things that could hurt you, Kyungsoo. Don’t… don’t fall in love with me.”

            Okay, strike two. Can he still take it? Hmm, maybe he can. “Don’t you think you’re too late to give me a warning, Kai?” Kyungsoo leaned down and fixed Kai’s blanket. “Rest now, Kai. You need it.”

            Kai held his arm and stared at his eyes. And he just held him tight, as if not wanting to let him go.

            “I don’t hate you, Kai. I can’t hate the person who made me realize I can still feel something.” Kyungsoo tried to smile. But he’s sure that his smile doesn’t even reach his eyes. The empty feeling inside him just wouldn’t go away. Maybe, he needs to get away. “Before, I thought that I’m the most hard-hearted person in the world. I need to be like that for my own sake. I’m afraid to love you because I never wanted to be like the people who just passed by into your life. But I guess I couldn’t be that person you want.”

            “Soo–”

            “Let’s just forget everything. I just told that all to you because… I just need to. Thanks for taking the time to listen. And thanks for the memories. But I just wish that don’t visit me again in the shop. We can still be friends. But I don’t think I’m ready to go back to where we were before I felt these ridiculous feelings for you. I’ll just call you if I’m ready. In the meantime, let’s not see each other. Just let me recuperate.”

            “You’re leaving?”

            Kyungsoo tried to smile again. “Not yet. I’ll just take care of you for a while because it’s my fault why you ended up like that. But when you’re okay, I’ll go back to Seoul and… well, I have to start my own life again. Without you, of course.”

            He tried walking away again, still, he didn’t let him go. He gave him a questioning look.

            “Don’t go.”

            “What?”

            “Don’t go.”    

            It almost sounded like Kai was begging him. He felt that the wall that he tried to build around his heart when Kai said that he doesn’t care about his feelings is slowly collapsing. If he won’t go right now, he’s sure that he will cry in front of Kai. And he won’t allow that. He doesn’t want Kai to take pity for him.

            “Give me a good reason, Kai, for me to not leave you.”

            Kai doesn’t say anything, instead, he just tightened his hold n Kyungsoo’s arm. His heart was able to hope despite what he feels right now. He hopes that even if Kai is not able to give him a reason to stay, he will still exert an effort to make him stay. But Kai didn’t say anything. And what hurts the most, he slowly let go of his arm.

            “I’ll just let you rest here, Kai. I’ll just have to arrange something outside.”

            Kai just nodded. Kyungsoo went outside his room. The moment the door closes his tears flow.

 -----------------------------

            “Mind if I join you?”

            Kyungsoo just nodded at Junmyeon when he sat at the chair across him. He reached that café bar while looking for a place where he can compose himself. He’d been crying in the men’s room for quite some time now, after he left Kai’s room. And before his eyes get swollen, he just decided to distract himself. He is not yet distracted with thinking about Kai, but at least he can prevent himself from crying.

            “How’s Kai?”

            “He’s fine. He’s just resting in his room.”

            “And you’re here because…?”

            Kyungsoo picked up his coffee that he ordered. “I don’t want to disturb him. He needs to rest.”

            “You’re lying. What did Kai do to you?”

            “What?” He can’t smile now because it’s difficult to pretend to be happy. “Kai didn’t do anything. I’m the one who did something to him.”

            “You beat the hell out of him?”

            “No.” Kyungsoo is not in the mood to joke around. “I confessed everything to him.”

            “It didn’t go smoothly?”

            Kyungsoo gently shook his head and just focused his attention on his coffee. His heart had revealed itself already. And he was hurting like hell.

            “He told me he knew the things that could hurt me. So he said that I shouldn’t let myself love him.”

            “Idiot.” Junmyeon said. “Did you listen to him?”

            “Don’t make me laugh, Junmyeon. How will I listen to him, I already loved him? I can’t take that back. What I can only do is just wait for the day when my feelings for him will be gone.”

            “They say no man is worth the tears of the person that they love. The only one who’s worth of their tears is the one who knows he could make them cry… but would never ever… try.”

            Kyungsoo’s tears just fall when he heard that. He immediately wiped his tears. “He’s not making me cry. It’s my fault why am I in this situation right now.”

            “He’s still the reason. Wait here.”

            “Where are you going?”

            Junmyeon just sighed and looked at him. “I like you, Kyungsoo. I think you’re cute. I’ll just punch Kai and maybe if he bumped his head again, he’ll realize how lucky he is because there’s someone like you that really loves him.”

            “Don’t hurt him.”

            Junmyeon has still his eyebrows furrowed while looking at him. After a while, he sighed again. “Kai’s such a bastard.”

            “Problem?”

            Kyungsoo and Junmyeon looked at the man that talked. He saw Heechul and Ryeowook. They are with an unfamiliar guy.

            “Kai’s being a jerk.” Junmyeon said. “He’s torturing Kyungsoo.”

            “He didn’t want to tell Kyungsoo yet that he feels something for him?”

            “That man’s one hell of a pain in everyone’s here.”

            “Is that a problem?” The guy said. “Just make him confess. That’s so easy.”

            “It’s not that easy.”

            “You know,” The guy turned to Junmyeon. “When someone falls in love, it’s so easy to make them jealous. Just get someone that can be his rival, let’s see if he will not confess immediately.”

            “I hate to admit this.” Heechul said. “But I think Jongdae’s right.”

            “Of course I am.”

            “Jongdae?” Junmyeon asked.

            “Our brother.” Ryeowook said.

            “That’s me.”

            “Ryeowook, I think we still need to do something.”

            “You’re right, Heechul. Let’s go.”

            “Wait, let me call the others.”

            “Hyung, were are you going?”

            “Somewhere.” Heechul signaled something to Ryeowook that he need to pull Jongdae away because he is talking with someone on his phone.

            “Let me go with you, then.”

            After a while, the other club members appeared. They went straight to his table.

            “Ryeowook and Heechul called us up.” Kyuhyun said. “Kyungsoo has a problem with Kai?”       

            Kyungsoo furrowed his eyebrows and looked at them. “Why–”

            “I have a crush on you.” Kyuhyun said. “We just want to see you happy.”

            “I like your smile.” Minho said. “I want to see your smile, not your tears.”

            Kyungsoo wants to cry again. Here are the guys that’s giving him all of their attention despite of them knowing the fact that none of them manages to catch his heart.      

            “Kai loves you too.” Junmyeon remarked. “You know why? Because you’re the only one that he refused to be with.”

            “Should I be happy for that?”

            “Yes.” Taemin piped in. “It means he treasures you. Because in case he accepted your love, I’m sure you’ll be like the persons who just passed through his life.”

            “We know Kai.” Heechul said. “He’s degrading himself because of his history with his lovers. He believes that he doesn’t deserve to love someone or to be loved by someone.”

            “And who the hell is he to say that?”

            “Maybe he just doesn’t want to hurt you because he loves you. So he thinks it’s better to push you away before he hurts you.”

            Kyungsoo cried again. “He’s an idiot!”

            “Ah, excuse me. Can I just say something?” Jongdae said. “What do you want to do? Who do you want to help?”

            “Kyungsoo…” The guys all answered in unison.

            “So why are you defending that monster who made this man cry?”

            “We were just explaining to him Kai’s side.”

            “I’m right. You are defending that monster. My goodness, make up your minds, boys. If you want to help Kyungsoo, you need to make your move already. Now, if you’re on Mai–”

            “Kai.” Junmyeon corrected.

            “Kai. Sorry. If you’re on Kai’s side, then you’re all useless.” Jongdae come close to him. “Guys like us should be treasured and not be given headaches…”

            He wasn’t able to understand what Jongdae is saying because he saw Kai entered the café. He felt his heart go out of his chest.

            “Kai…”

            “So whoever that Kai is, he’s crazy. He made this handsome guy cry? Can all of you allow someone as handsome as us cry?”

            Kai saw him and walked straight towards him, without breaking their eye contact. The club members are still busy listening to Jongdae’s rambles.

            “Don’t go, Kyungsoo.”

            The members noticed Kai’s presence. Even Jongdae paid attention.

            “And you are…?”      

            “Kim Jongin.” Kai answered without taking his eyes off Kyungsoo. “The only man in Kyungsoo’s life.”

 -----------------------------

Jongin, you pabo. 😒 Anyway, let's all welcome the sassy Jongdae!!! *claps like a seal* Sooo, there's only one chapter left. And I'm already writing my third story which is... that's right, a SuChen fanfic!!! 😊 I hope you will all support my new fanfic like the support that you gave to this one and in my KrisYeol fanfic. Thank you so much! I'll give the preview to the SuChen fanfic on the next chapter. 😊