The atmosphere around them got heavier and heavier as every seconds passed. They quietly stood there, not one uttering a single word. Guilt and sympathy grew inside of Jiyong as he watched Seungri in front of him, looking at the ground, not moving an inch like a lifeless doll. It felt like a thorn was stabbed into his heart. It was too painful to see him slowly shattering inside like this. But as much as he wanted him to be only happy, he couldn't just force himself to love him the way he loves him. Feelings doesn't work that way.

Sure, Jiyong knows too well that he couldn't afford to lose him. He's way too important to him to even lose sight of him. But it wasn't just how it works. It was not of a romantic type of feeling like the way Seungri has for him. He couldn't see him that way. He was no more than like a little brother for him. Jiyong had no choice but to reject him.

He takes in a deep breath, preparing to end the heavy atmosphere once and for all. With a heavy heart, he opens his mouth. "Seungri.. I'm really sorry. I hope you'd understand."

Seungri pauses for a few seconds before answering. He stared at the ground, eyes unstable. But as he finally lifts his head up, a smile formed on his lips. "..It's okay. I understand. You can't force yourself feeling the same for me, right?" he said with a cracking voice.

Hearing the pain on his voice made Jiyong's chest tighten. Trying to keep himself together, he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. "I.. I'm sorry. This is for the best."

Seungri nods his head. "No, it's alright. I know," he said, smiling. "Uh, I'm gonna go now. I'm really really tired. I should get home and rest. Just tell Yongbae-hyung I'm not in the mood for eating right now," he said, avoiding eye contact.

Jiyong nods, he thought it'd be the best to part ways for now. "Take care of yourself, okay? Don't do anything rash."

"Of course." Seungri throws in a quick smile before leaving. "Goodnight."

As Jiyong watched him slowly walk away before his eyes, it felt like a hole slowly formed inside of him, leaving him feeling so empty. He sits on the chair, pressing on the bridge of his nose. It was such a painful thing to see.

 

 

---

 

 

"Hyung!" a familiar voice shouted.

Jiyong opens his eyes, only to see himself lying on the ground. He looked around him, and much to his shock and incredulity, he was in a foreign place he have never seen before, nor have set his foot on. There were endless old, rotting trees scattered around, making the dark place even more darker, to the point of him, almost not seeing anything. It gave Jiyong goosebumps on the back of his neck. It was like that of the horror movies he had seen as a child.

"Hyung! Help me!" the voice cried desperately.

Jiyong jolted. It was a voice he was so familiar with. "Who's there?!" he shouted.

"Hyung! Help me! Quick! I'm gonna fall!"

"R-Right! Hold on! I'm gonna go there!"

As Jiyong run towards the voice, he trips. There was a hand-like grass holding onto his ankle, preventing him from going any further. It was attached to him so tight, he couldn't manage to remove it. His fingers started to bleed as he forces out his strength to take it off of him. But as he tries to remove it harder, the more its grip seem to tighten.

"Hyung! My hands are slipping! Quick!" the voice continued to shout.

Jiyong panics. Adrenaline rushed up throughout his whole body. And finally, he tears off the grass off of him. Without wasting any minute, he scurries to the voice. As he get nearer and nearer, he found himself heading towards a cliff. A man was on the edge, holding on for his life, crying. It was Seungri. Jiyong's eyes widens.

"S-Seungri!!" he rushed towards him. "Here! Take my hand!"

But just when he reaches out his hand towards him, Seungri's fingers slips. He falls to the seemingly endless cliff, fright and desperation in his eyes. Jiyong bursts into tears. If only he had acted faster, then this wouldn't have happened. He watched in horror as Seungri's silhouette quickly disappears into the thick fog, losing him forever.

 

-----------------------------

 

"Seungri!!" Jiyong shouted as he springs up from his bed, sweat dripping off of his face.

It was just a dream after all. He lets out a sigh of relief. The image of Seungri, crying and desperate, was so clear on his head, it made his chest feel heavy. The guilt inside of him just kept growing and growing, it's eating him off. 

A knock on the door turns Jiyong's attention away for a moment. He checked his phone for the time, and it reads 7:15 am. A slight annoyance crawled through skin. Who could that be so early in the morning, he thought. But as much as he wanted to lie on his bed more, he couldn't just ignore the person knocking on his door. He dragged his heavy body to check on it, and much to his surprise, Kiko was standing there with a bright smile on her face, holding a paper bag.

"What brings you here?" he asked, sincerely clueless.

A slight frown hinted on Kiko's face. "Eh? Don't tell me you forgot?"

Jiyong furrows his eyebrows, completely oblivious on what she's talking about. "Huh? Forgot what?"

Kiko rolled her eyes in disbelief. She raises the paper bag she's holding for him to see. "Remember? We planned to take a walk on the park today, right? I even brought lots of food!"

Like a truck hit him, Jiyong finally remembers. "Ah, the park!" he said, placing his palm on his forehead.

"Ah, the park," she said, quoting him in an annoyed and sarcastic manner.

Jiyong slightly moves his lower lip to the side, showing his teeth. "Sorry."

"I called you last night, remember? Were you even listening to anything I say? Why are you always like this?" she asked, eyebrows raised and a hand on her waist.

Jiyong scratches his head. "Well.. last night.." He pauses. He couldn't just say that he forgot about it, since he was too occupied by the fact that he just rejected Seungri.

"Hmm?" she hummed with an impatient smile.

He lets out a quiet sigh. "I'll make it up to you, okay? ..but I'm not really in the mood for this, right now. Can we do it another day?" 

Kiko raises her eyebrows while moving back her head in, in disbelief of what she just heard. "I'm sorry, what? Did you just cancel on me?"

Jiyong scratches his head. He knew he's in it for an argument. "Look, I'm gonna make it up to you real soon, okay? I'm just not really in the mood for a walk so early in the park."

"Okay," she said, pissed-off, but trying to sound convincing. "It's okay."

Jiyong, on the other hand, wasn't so dense to believe it's really okay. "I'll really make it up to you, believe me," he said, trying to sound sincere as possible. "I have a lot of things on my mind right now, and I want to sort it all out."

"I said it's okay," she answered sarcastically. "You're not in the mood, I understand. It's okay if you don't want to go just because you don't feel like it. I even woke up so early in the morning to prepare this food, but it's okay. You're not in the mood. So, I'll go now, okay?"

Jiyong throws his head back in, irritated. "Don't do this."

"No, you said you're not in the mood. I understand. So, I'm gonna go now," she said before walking away.

"Kiko!" he shouted.

Kiko raises her hand up without looking back. "Bye."

He sighs in disbelief. "Fine!"

Jiyong slams the door close. What a scene to start up his morning.

 

 

---

 

 

"Ah," the word that slipped out of Jiyong's mouth as soon as he opens the door. 

Though the absent Seungri was the first one his eyes searched for, he couldn't help but notice and divert his attention to the chaotic scene inside, forgetting about him for a moment. There the members are, already goofing around with each other this early in the morning. This scene should be normal for Jiyong, but as it is the first time for them to gather in a small studio room like this since their last comeback, he couldn't help but get astounded by how immature they are despite their age.

Yongbae lightly punches Daesung's arm. He made sure to take revenge on the chinky-eyed man for hitting him earlier first, before he proceeded to talk with their leader. "What's wrong? You look surprised?"

"Good morning, Hyung," Daesung greeted him and proceeded to punch Yongbae's arm, only this time, much harder than what the lip-pierced man did.

"Oww!" he shouted. "Hey, that's not fair! We're already quits when I last punched you!" he argued like a child.

"Well, you started it!" Daesung bursts out laughing. He then gets up and runs away from him.

"You'll regret that," said Yongbae as he stands up, ready to beat him up. 

"Stop!" Daesung hides behind Seunghyun, using him as a shield. "Don't get near me, I'm telling you!" he shouted as he holds onto the tall man's shoulders.

Seunghyun turns his face sideways to see him and throw in a glare. "I'm gonna punch you myself if you don't get off of me right now," he calmy said, but it was definitely in threatening manner.

Yongbae bursts into laughter. "Go ahead and punch him, Hyung! He's all yours!"

Seunghyun turns to glare at Yongbae this time. "I'm gonna punch the both of you if you don't stop this now right now."

While Jiyong was too occupied watching them in disbelief, he didn't notice the door open behind him. With the chaos going on in the room, Seungri quietly walked in, unnoticed. 

"Oh, Seungri!" Yongbae said, looking behind Jiyong.

Caught off-guard, Jiyong's heart skipped a beat. He turns around and sees Seungri, standing behind him.

"Morning," Seungri greeted him with a smile on his face.

Shocked by the unexpected greeting, Jiyong couldn't answer right away. He wasn't expecting this at all. He was certain that he'll avoid and ignore him. "..Morning," he finally said with a casual smile.

Seungri then nodded before proceeding to head futher inside.

"Why'd you disappear suddenly the night before?" Yongbae asked, looking at Seungri with disappointment. "Jiyong too. Where'd you guys go? We ended up eating sushi since Seunghyun-hyung insisted he'll go home if we don't agree. And it's not fun if it's only me and Daesung."

Jiyong and Seungri stood in silence, not one answering his question.

Yongbae raises an eyebrow. "What's wrong? Did something happen?" he asked, suspicious of their actions.

Just when Jiyong was about to open his mouth and answer, Seungri speaks before him. "It's nothing. We were both tired so we went home right away." He glances at Jiyong. "Right, Hyung?" he said, smiling.

Jiyong looks back at him, slightly surprised. "Ah, that's right."

Jiyong couldn't believe how greatly Seungri is taking it all in. He's acting as if nothing happened at all. Seeing how desperate he is that night, he was certain that hostility is what he'll get from him afterwards. But although part of him feels relieved seeing him fine and talking to him like this, there's still a part of him feels something off. It's too good to be true.

Can someone really be this okay after a heartbreaking rejection?

 

 

---

 

 

Laughter, chatting, sounds of steel chopsticks hitting each other, glasses of beer getting slammed on the table, all different kinds of noises filled the whole restaurant, and it's making Jiyong's head ache. But not because of the noises itself, but because of the fact that the noises are made by the members who's now out of control.

Jiyongt knew that it was a bad idea to go to a public restaurant to drink, considering how wild the boys get whenever they get alcohol in their system. He knew it from the start. But since he was no match to Yongbae's persistence, saying that him and Seungri just disappeared the other night so it's only fair if they get their fill tonight, he had no choice but to come along.

But it's not just the public indecency he's worrying about. He's also worried about Seungri. It's always dangerous whenever he gets drunk. Especially now that he went through a rejection. Jiyong's rejection. Who knows what he might say and do now that he's not himself. Considering his sudden confession because he was dead-drunk, he might do something reckless like he did once again.

Jiyong glances at him. There he is, laughing his off with Yongbae while drinking his nth beer. Jiyong had lost count on how many times he had seen him drinking another glass. His face is already bright-red to his ears. He's drunk to his core right now. It's dangerous.

"Hey," he said, nudging Yongbae, who's seated beside him. "Enough of that. Don't order another round for everyone. If you want to get drunk, just get drunk by yourself."

Yongbae chuckles. "It's alright, it's alright. You should drink more! You're just eating, you know?"

Jiyong twitches an eye, annoyed. He knew it'll be useless. Each and one of them always disregards his orders whenever they're drunk. He's no leader to them when it comes to drinking.

"Eh? Come on, Hyung! Don't be like that!" said Seungri, who has been hearing their conversation all along, pops out of nowhere. "Let's just drink! Don't be so cranky!" he said, laughing.

Jiyong doesn't have the slightest idea on how to react to him. He's too guilty of the fact that he rejected Seungri, that he feels like it would be wrong if he would get mad at him for drinking too much. He just stared at him, not giving a word to what he just said.

Seungri chuckles. "What's wrong, Hyung? Aren't you gonna scold me? Why are you so quiet? It's so unlike you!" he said, grinning.

Jiyong pauses, shocked of what he just heard. But he remained his cool, acting like his usual composed self. 

"What?" He bursts out laughing. "Are you feeling guilty? Is that why you're not reacting?" 

Everyone, including Yongbae, who's between them, could feel the tension. Everyone fell in silence.

"Hey, hey." Yongbae touches Seungri's shoulder, slightly pushing him back. "What are you on about? Stop that."

"No, it's okay. I just wanna know. There's nothing wrong about that," he said, staring at Jiyong with intense eyes. "Right, Hyung?"

Jiyong takes in a deep breath. The moment he's afraid that's gonna happen, is happening right now. 

"You know, it's so funny earlier. You should've seen the look on your face when I greeted you. You weren't expecting that, right?" he said, laughing. "Why? Were you expecting me to avoid you or something? Is that why?"

Jiyong stands up. "I'm gonna go home now."

"Hey, don't go, Hyung! We have a lot to talk about!" he shouted as Jiyong walks away.

"Talk to me when you're not drunk," he said before exiting through the door.

As soon as he gets outside, he reaches for his pocket and takes out a pack of cigarette.

 

 

---

 

 

Jiyong hurriedly opened the door to his apartment unit. He wanted to get inside as quickly as he can. No words could explain how much he wanted to lie down on his comfy bed and have a good rest already. It was a long, tiring day working at the studio. His whole body is exhausted. And earlier with Seungri, it just made him even more worn-out. 

Alcohol could really make people say their true feelings, he thought. But although Seungri had acted like that, he couldn't manage to get mad at him. At the back of his mind, he knows that the only reason he's acting like that is because of him. How could he get mad at the person he had caused so much heartbreak and pain? Truthfully, he pities Seungri.

"Honey~~" a voice uttered behind him.

Jiyong jolted. He felt slim hands carressing his chest. He turns around and sees Kiko, wearing only a ruffly lingerie.

"I've been waiting for you~~" she whispered in his ears.

"How did you get in here?" Jiyong asked, still surprised.

Kiko chuckles. "Well, you gave me your access code, remember?" She leans in closer to his ear. "I'm sorry about last time. Can you forgive me?" she said, brushing her lips against him.

Jiyong moves away. "Look, I'm not really in the mood, okay? I'm tired. And my head's hurting. It's been a really bad day for me. I'm sorry," he said, sincerely.

Opposite to what he's expecting, Kiko didn't get mad. Instead, she giggles. "It's okay." She moves in closer to him. "I'll make it all go away."

 

---

 

 

"Ji.. Wake up."

"Hmmm.." Jiyong mumbled, still half-asleep.

"Ji." Kiko nudges his arm. "Wake up. There's someone at the door."

"Huh..?" he asked, opening his eyes slightly. "Who?"

"I don't know. Just answer it," she said before burying her face again in the pillow, continuing her sleep.

He then looks at his phone for the time. "What the? It's four in the morning?"

Jiyong scratches his head, irritated. He drags his body up, swinging back and forth, still groggy. With him, dragging his feet on the floor, he walks towards the door, eyes still half-closed. But as soon as he opens it, every bit of grogginess and sleepiness inside him immediately leaves his body. There Seungri was standing in front of him.

"Hyung.."