I'm Not A Yandere But....
LoveThe morning after was quite awkward. I woke up in Jimin's embrace, wearing his slightly oversized shirt (which is shocking since I am taller, how does this even make sense, I ponder). Our M rated memories from last night hit me and I start blushing violently. Honestly this is too early for me to be that flustered first thing in the morning but this is Jimin we're talking about. "Finally awake?" Jimin asked, gently touching my red cheek with his warm hand. "Mmm, yeah..." I mumbled shyly as I leaned to the touch of his surprisnigly not sweaty arm, considering it was hugging me the whole night under the blanket. "So... you aren't regretting yesterday now, are you?" The confidence in his voice almost vanished, making him sound almost vulnerable but I knew better, he was just hopeful.
"Of course not..." I whispered, "I'm just... trying to get used to this feeling." I smiled sheepishly, covering his small hand with mine. This feels nice. And safe. I've been at many places but not even in my own house do I feel at home like I feel in Jimin's hands.
"Then... is it okay if I ask you out on a date? A proper one, just the two of us. We can hold hands and you'll finally let me pay for you? Without it being excused with friendship?" He asked, lips turning into a small smile, almost smug.
"That sounds great, but I can pay for myself."
"No, I'm paying." Jimin said, tightening his grip on my hip with left hand.
"No!" I yelled when he started tickling me. "T-That's not fair!" He tickled me so hard that I started crying. "Everything is fair in love and war," Jimin jokingly said. "Okay I give up! Please stop!" I pleaded. "Have mercy..." He stopped and smirked proudly, wiping away the small tears that formed in my eyes from laughing too much.
"Then let's go on a date today."
"T-Today?" I asked, surprised.
"Is today not a good time?" He questions, moving my bangs away from my face. I gazed into his brown eyes for too long that it took me a few seconds there before I got back to reality, remembering what he had just said.
"Today is fine," I smiled at ease. Why not?
"Great! Get up!" He let go of me suddenly and got up.
"Now?"
"The best time is right now! It's early, sunny and beautiful. Let's go for a small trip."
"I don't know... I'm barely awake. I need to take a shower, brush my teeth and whatever..."
"Then take a shower and brush your teeth here. I'll prepare everything."
"I want to help you though..."
"I asked you on a date, it's my duty to do everything." Jimin opened the closet and threw clothes at me. "Go to the shower, it's the door to the left in the hallway. There are towels and a green, un-used toothbrush there. Feel free to use whatever cream or soap you want." He started pushing me towards the door.
"B-But I-"
"Don't worry, just get cleaned up." He smiled and wrapped his arms around my waist, kissed my cheek and let go as he quickly ran downstairs.
I walked into the bathroom and locked the door. The room was mostly light blue and I couldn't help but think it was Jimin who chose the color for this room. He always says blue is such a nice color. I looked around, simply to explore the design of the room. It had light colors, mostly blue and white, which gave the room a calming aura. Maybe I was thinking that because Jimin himself has an aura around him that makes me feel happy. I the hot water and stripped as I got under. As I let my muscles relax, I saw Jimin's hair and body products. No wonder he never looks bad, he puts a lot of time in taking care of himself and his looks. Not that I care because honestly, at that day when we went to the pool he was wearing no make up and his hair was wet and all over but still he looked fantastic, something I was a bit jealous of, actually. I got lost in my track of thought about Jimin and his inner beauty as I heard a knock on the door. "Jungkook, are you okay? You're in there for quite a while now." Jimin's voice was laced with worry, it was sweet.
"Yeah, sorry... the hot water made me dizzy. I'll be out in a few minutes." I washed my hair quickly, not even bothering putting a hair mask. I turned off the water, brushed my teeth and wore the clothes Jimin gave me. The shirt and socks were red. My favorite color... I wore the black jeans and even though they were a bit short, it still looked fine, good even, if I may be a bit of narcissist. I dried my hair with the towel as much as I could and opened the door. I sighed in relief, it's fun being clean. Hot showers really are the best. I went downstairs to where Jimin was and smiled when I saw him putting the food he made in plastic boxes. "Was I really taking a shower for so long that you managed to make all of this food?" Jimin chuckled.
"I wish I was that good at cooking. It's actually something my mom made for us earlier this morning..." Is he blushing? Oh my God he's cute. "I mean, I did make other things. Sandwiches, rice, sausages and fried eggs. Do you want me to take the cake you bought for me with us?"
"Isn't quite a lot of food? You know I don't eat much anyway."
"Well you're gonna." Jimin said, almost as if it's a threat hidden under a bittersweet smile. "I'm done though, can you hand me my bag?" He pointed to the blue bag on the kitchen table and I grabbed it, surprised that it was open that I almost dropped the blanket that was inside. Jimin chuckled and started putting the food in the bag and I helped (well, not really, I put one box in and then Jimin I shouldn't dp anything). "Actually, can you bring me tge water bottle from the fridge?" I nodded, opened the fridge and handed him the bottle. "Thanks, I almost forgot it." He closed his bag after putting everything inside and then he grabbed my hand, "let's go!" He said as he began dragging us outside.
"Hmm..." I nodded, following shyly.
"My car is finally back. They repaired it." Jimin shed a fake tear. He let me put music from my phone. After quite a long drive, I started wondering.
"Umm... where are we going?" I asked, slightly worried. "You're not kidnapping me, are you?"
He laughed, "of course not, we're going to the beach."
"Beach? It's a two hour drive!" I said and chose a different song. "Better choose a better song for a road trip." On cue, Traveler by f(x) started playing.
"Perfect timing," Jimin said.
"An impromptu... Traveler!" We sang together.
"I'm surprised you like those songs as well, Jimin," I said when another girl group song started. "Yoongi never liked those kind of songs. He always said rap is better."
"He does seem like the type to prefer hip hop over anything," Jimin said, focusing on driving. "But I find beautiful voices calming. I usually tend to prefer female singers as well, Taeyang being an exception." His eyes shone with admiration.
"That's good because I was worried you might not enjoy the music I choose." My phone was on shuffle so that we could get a taste from all of my songs. All of a sudden, a cover I made to Haru Haru by Big Bang started playing. "Oh ," I turned it off, embarrassed.
"Why'd you turn it off?" Jimin asked. "I love this song."
"It's… not the original one, it's a cover I did two years ago. I don't know why I still have it. I'll delete it now." Out of the blue, Jimin stopped the car, parked it near the sidewalk and grabbed my phone. "Jesus Jimin you almost killed us!"
"I want to hear it."
"Huh?"
"Your cover, I want to hear it."
"No, I don't want you to hear it." I started blushing. "It was before I started with my vocal training, it's bad…"
"Oh Kookie, when will you realize that you can't do anything bad? You're just too good." Jimin showed his sweet eye smile.
"Still… And the song is sad but we're having fun. It'll be a mood ruiner…" Jimin seemed determined to hear it. "How about this, when we arrive to the beach and settle there, I'll sing any song that you want for you, live? Please? I really don't want you to listen to it." Jimin sighed.
"That sounds even better," he handed me my phone and started driving again, a smile plastered on his face as if he won something. "Just remember that you're a man of your words."
"Hmm…" I nodded. I felt the need to be quiet for a while, but it's okay. The music in the background was nice and Jimin was humming along almost every song. I couldn't stop smiling and when Jimin reached his hand to pat my hair, I swear my heart stopped. "We'll arrive pretty soon, are you excited?" He asked, taking a turn left.
"It has been too long since I went to the beach. I wouldn't say excited but I do love the beautiful view it has to offer." I opened the window just a bit to let the wind blow, messing my hair in the process. We were next to the beach but instead of parking somewhere near, Jimin continued driving. "Um, haven't we arrived already?"
"I want a place that isn't crowded, where we can be alone. It is a date after all." He winked at me.
The ride continued for ten good minutes until there were no people in sight at this part of the shore. "Perfect." He parked and we walked for two minutes when we arrived. Jimin took out the green blanket and spread it on the sand. He started taking the food out and putting it on the blanket. "Let's sit," he sat down and grabbed my hand, pulling me down.
I was sitting awkwardly next to him, his thigh touching mine. I couldn't stop myself from reddening and didn't know what to say. Jimin chuckled, his hand suddenly touching my burning cheek. Did I just become redder? Is that even possible? "I know you're nervous, I am too, but let's try to enjoy each other's company, okay?" To me, he didn't seem nervous at all and if anything, he was probably trying to comfort me but then again, I can't tell what he's thinking, never. Whether it's true or not, I appreciate it. Shakily, I placed my hand on top of his.
"Okay," I breathed out. "How about you start by telling me about your childhood? Since I already told you about mine…"
"My childhood was pretty much… boring. My mom always worked until late and my dad… it was rare to even see him."
"Why?"
"He always worked. He was too stressed and workaholic. It kept getting worse and eventually, due to stress, he took his own life."
I was stunned. I never imagined that Jimin's family is only his mom. "Oh, I didn't know that… It was dumb of me to assume that childhood is a good topic." I mentally slapped myself five times.
"It's fine, actually. I don't mind sharing these stuff with you. If anything, you're the only one who probably understands my pain. But like you said, it's not that bad, it happened long ago and I… moved on." He smiled, yet his voice and eyes… He sounded and looked broken. Without knowing what to do, I decided to do what he did when I told him about my past. I hugged him.
He was taken aback for a second but immediately hugged me as well after. "Thank you," he whispered in my ear.
I shook my head. "Don't thank me, just… just… okay?"
Jimin laughed. "Okay."
The food was delicious and even though I got full after a bite and a spoonful of rice, Jimin forced me to eat more. "Come on, open up your mouth, say 'ahh'~"
"A-ahh," I opened my mouth awkwardly, letting him feed me.
"Good boy," he praised, patting my head again.
"Can you not treat me like you're my mother?" I pouted, chewing the food.
"Don't talk with your mouth full," he jokingly scolded. "It’s just that I can't help but worry about you. I always want to take care of you, make sure you eat and that you feel good. Is it too much?"
"I-I understand but I can take care of myself." Honestly, why is he like that… it's making me blush…
"If it really is a bother, I'll try not to," Jimin said, handing me the spoon so that I will eat by myself.
"No, it's fine. I'm just nervous that I get too worked up about stupid things. If anything, it fits the mood of a first date and I'm ruining it, I'm sorry..."
"You're not ruining anything. I can understand how you feel. This is so stressful to me as well. I can honestly say I have never been on a date with someone that I really like up until now."
"Really? You seem calm and cool..."
"I only look like I am. Inside I'm screaming. It's really nerve wrecking. I keep thinking 'what if I mess up?' or 'what if I'll say something that will hurt his feelings?' or 'is he okay with me touching him or am I invading his personal space?' I really want to jump into the water just to cool my burning mind. I mean, you can do no wrong in my opinion therefore no matter what you do or say, I'll be fine with it but I have no idea how you feel and it's really making me more and more desperate." Jimin really feels that way? I feel even more sorry now.
I scooted closer to him and grabbed his hand. "I can also honestly say... That I have never been on a date with a person that I really like up until now." Jimin sighed-in relief-and tightened the grip on my hand. I had the urge to lean towards him, he seemed to feel the same way because before I could, he leaned closer to me and kissed my lips. It was a soft, gentle kiss. It lasted for a few seconds until Jimin pulled away.
"Sorry," he apologized. "I didn't want to make you feel uncomfortable."
I shook my head. "You didn't, I actually wanted to lean towards you as well..." I mumbled shyly.
"Really?" He smiled, leaning close again but not kissing me this time. Just smiling and breathing on my lips. This feels intimate in its own way. I tried my best not to close my eyes becayse even though it's a bit embarrassubg, it feels like we're slowly becoming closer.
"If anyone looks at as from afar it probably looks super weird." I said and Jimin laughed.
"Then it's good only you and I are here, no one can judge us." Jimin's hand touched my cheek gently and I couldn't help but notice how beautiful his features are, especially his eyes that shined brightly. I would have thought he was crying if I didn't know that his eyes are shiny in general, especially in broad sunlight.
"Even if someone does judge us, I don't mind..." I whispered. "I mean, I would feel bad if someone would say something to us now because of this but it's just because of my social anxiety and not because I think that person would be right."
"If you were the type of preson to agree with something only because someone said so I would have never liked you as much as I do now." Jimin said, grabbing my chin and moving my face so that I could look him directly in the eyes. "Can I tell you a secret?"
"Of course."
"But... only if you promise not to be creeped out."
"Well as long as you didn't steal my toothbrush and made a shrine to it, I don't see why I should be." Jimin giggled.
"I actully took interest in you around three months ago."
At first, I was almost shocked but then I realized it doesn't make sense. First of all, school started only two months ago. Second of all, Jimin and I don't know each other for that long. "Don't be silly, we didn't even meet back then..."
"No, we didn't meet, but I did see you. I even knew who you were. Well, your name at least. And also... I had your phone number way before I found your notebook. Actually, your number wasn't even on the notebook. I'm really surprsied you didn't think something is weird when I texted you on the same day we met. I was worried that you'd know I lied about it and ask where I got your number from." I would have laughed if Jimin hadn't looked serious about it.
"But that doesn't even make sense. We haven't talked or anything, how could you possibly like me?" It's not like I wasn't flattered but still...
"I saw you on the street, walking around with an oversized black jacked and humming along to Ringa Linga and I wondered why someone would wear this when it's so hot, but figured that someone who hums to Taeyang can't be too weird, right?" I nodded, giggling a bit. He's such a fanboy. "Anyway, you walked into a store, the same one I went to, and the cashier was yelling at an old woman, because she didn't have enough money and asked for a discount. I was about to step in before you did. Very shyly, very quietly you asked how much she needs to pay. You gave the cashier the full amount of money so that she could keep her money to herself. You even helped her carry her things to her apartment. That, of course, I know from your conversation with her. You didn't talk very much, only told her that you'll carry her stuff for her and that your name is Jeon Jungkook. That's how I found out your name."
"Yeah I remember that day... That guy was rude and that lady should have gotten a discount... Poor lady, her son died and ever since she was alone, barely handling her medecine and food, not to mention electricity and water... I felt so bad for her I started sending her money and talking to her all the time..."
"Wait, really?" Jimin asked, eyes widening.
"Yeah... I paid a lot of her bills and talked to her on the phone when she got lonely but now she moved out to other relatives. I felt at relief to know that she wouldn't be alone."
"Wow Jungkook, who knew I could like you even more than I already do?"
I blushed and smacked his chest. "Anyway, continue your story," I said and leaned my head on his shoulder.
"Right. Back to my story. After you left, you left quite the impression on me. I was determined to know who you are so that I could befriend you."
"Befriend me? I thought you took interest in me."
"Taking interest in someone doesn't always have to be in a romantic way" Jimin scoffed, wrapped his arm around me and kissed my red cheek. "After I finished buying groceries, I couldn't stop thinking about you. You were so shy but also very brave. I would have yelled at the man but you walked over there with insecurity written all over you, and helped her. I thought that you must be a great person, even if you're not the most outgoing person ever. However, after that, I couldn't find you anymore. It's not like I was searching for you but I did come to that store and around the place quite a lot in hopes to find you."
"I can't imagine how annoyed you must have felt when you found out I live right next to you," I laughed and he pinched my cheek. "Ouch." I pouted and patted my hurting cheek. "Sorry sorry, I won't intterupt you, geez." I huffed.
Jimin only laughed. "It's not because you got into my words, but because I really was annoyed, so ing annoyed you don't even understand." Jimin took a deep breath, "Another time I saw you was when you were at the park, you were sitting on a bench and eating when a cat came to your lap and asked for your food. I swear it was the cutest thing ever when you smiled and fed it." Jimin stopped for a second and smiled widely. "After the cat laughed you got up and went away, I was absorbed at the sight of you and the cat that I didn't even notice you leaving. When I finally did, it was too late and I didn't find you again since then." I leaned my head on Jimin's shoulder, enjoying his story. "That is, until the day before the last day of our summer vacation. Because just when I was about to give up, Hoseok decided we should go to a club to celebrate the very little time we have left of this vacation. I wasn't really up for it but Hoseok sort of forced me so I came. I didn't dress up though. I wore basketball shorts and a jacket, because it's always so cold in clubs. Hoseok told me that no one dresses like this for a club. But then when we got in, I saw another guy in a jacket. When he turned around, I found out it was actually you. Who knew that out of all the places, that's where I'll find you? I wanted to approach you but before I could get to you, a guy grabbed me and shook his head. At that time I didn't know who he was but later I figured out it's Yoongi. He told me that if I am planning to go and hit on you then he'll cut my and feed me to it. I told him that I saw you once at a store and once at the part and wanted to befriend you but he told me you are not very fond of people who aren't him. At first I thought he was an overprotective boyfriend or a big brother or something that was too worried about his dongsaeng but when he came to you, you smiled so much and jumped on him. Like you were a completely different person from that shy person in the store who could barely talk and even happier than the time you fed the cat. I don't know why but at that I realized that all I wanted to do is to see you more like that, I wanted to be the reason to make you happy like that but given the situation, I decided not to bother you two. Mostly because I was worried about my ."
I began laughing and Jimin pouted. "Not funny." "You're right, it's not, do continue."
"Right. When I went back to Hoseok, he was making a move on someone. That's when I decided to go home. On my way out, I bumped into someone and apologized. When I saw it's you, I couldn't speak for some reason. You said sorry and went out. It was quite dark there so I'm not surprised you don't remember me. I later noticed that you dropped your phone. I picked it up and the lock screen was a picture of you and Yoongi smiling, you looked really happy, it was cute. I unlocked your phone and the background photo was G-Dragon. It already felt like we had a lot in common. I went to your music and noticed you have many songs that I do as well. I thought that maybe we can be good friends, maybe more than that. I thought I could give you back your phone and ask if you want to hang out or something but when I went outside I couldn't find you anywhere. When I saw the man who threatened me walk out, I came to him and told him you dropped your phone and asked if he could return it to you, he said yes, took the phone and went away. I never thought I'd see you since. You could imagine my shock when I discovered you're going to my school. I wanted to talk to you on your first day but you were with headphones and you were distant all the time."
"Sorry," I mumbled, feeling a bit bad that Jimin did flips in the air just to talk to me.
"Don't be," He hugged my waist and kissed my nose. "The long time it took me to find you and befriend you was worth it, it only made it much more satisfying." He kissed my temple. "But yeah, I'm not really proud on how I got your number... I told Hoseok your name and then he talked with few of his younger friends. Appearantly each student gets a piece of paper with the name and the number of every kid in his class. Hoseok asked for your number and after he got it, he gave it to me and I had it for a while but I never really texted you because that would be plain creepy."
"Yeah, and getting my phone number from someone from my class while I have no idea who you are is completely normal." I teased. I really don't mind it actually but Jimin looks flustered, which rarely happens (though it happened twice today) so I gotta milk it.
"I admit it's not my proudest moment but I was so desperate. Ever since I saw you smile in Yoongi's arm, no, ever since I saw you smile at the cat, I couldn't stop thinking about you. I simply wanted to make you smile like that. I know it's stupid to think that about someone you don't even know but I guess it was love at second sight? But even now that I know you better, I want to make you smile even more. I want to treasure you, you're special to me Jungkook."
I was quiet for a while since I had no idea what to say to such genuine feelings. I'm not used to that much affection from people because even Yoong is tamed with his feelings but Jimin looked hopeful that I had to speak from my heart. "You are very special to me too Jimin. To people it seems obvious to touch others, to hold hands, to hug, to kiss and, well, you know... but to me, it was never easy, especially after what happened with my older brother. It was hard for me to be 'normal' and people couldn't get past it. Only Yoongi. I couldn't blame others when I behaved the way I did, pushing everyone away and making sure all the conversations were the shortest, later I'd spend my time wondering what I could've said to make the person leave faster. People could feel my anti-people vibe but it wasn't on purpose. It wasn't easy to me. Every time they walked away I felt bad and alone. I honestly thought I'd never have a friend besides Yoongi, even less that I'd start liking someone but then I met you. Maybe it's because you saved my life, maybe it's because you helped me a lot, maybe it's because you're the first person to touch me after such a long time or maybe because you're such a great human being but I also treasure you very much. Maybe to me it wasn't love at first, second or third sight like with you but it's only because I was still so hurt and confused. If the circumstances were different, I might have been the one to ask you out or even be the first one to talk to you. Or, at least not push you away and be a to you before your birthday... What I'm trying to say that I also want to make you smile and make you happy but more than anything, I want to make us work, will you let me?"
Jimin took me by surprise when he kissed me. "That's exactly what I want."
so I finally updated
Sorry it's so short and maybe has a lot of mistakes but I remember to rewrite only when it's like 1 am on a day where I have school
anyways, sorry for mistakes and if you like it, I'd love to read your comments
If not, that's cool, Imma keep writing for you anyway so stay tuned
Bye!
so I finally updated
Sorry it's so short and maybe has a lot of mistakes but I remember to rewrite only when it's like 1 am on a day where I have school
anyways, sorry for mistakes and if you like it, I'd love to read your comments
If not, that's cool, Imma keep writing for you anyway so stay tuned
Bye!
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