CHAPTER 9

Suddenly I got an idea, I asked my parents to let Chen sleepover in my house. At first they hesitated, but then they gave him permission to accompany me to sleep for one day.

I already changed to my pajama when he came and said, “Hi...”

It made me laugh. “You’re sounded awkward..”

“Ah, really?”

I patted the bed, asked him to sit next to me.

“I have something to give you.. Here...” I gave him a sketch of his face.

“Does it really look like you?” I asked.

Because he didn’t respond, I asked again, “Chen, are you alright?”

He was sobbing as he said, “You can see me, Bomiyaa... This is how I really look alike.. This is how I really look alike...”

“Yeah, I can see you with my heart, Chen..” I said it as I pulled him to my embrace.

-00-

Then after he got calmer, we both lied on the bed with I slept on his right arm. He said thanks for the sketch, and told me that it was perfect. He even apologized that he haven’t finish his eulogy. Well, I even have forget about the eulogy, because I thought that this time was my best condition. And moreover, I got a cornea donor. I told him that soon I will see him for real. But somehow, I felt a mixed feeling again. I was scared that my happiness has to be hold on top of other misery. But Chen told me that I should feel blessed and pray for the one who willingly give his/her cornea to me. He always strengthen and made me in peace. How would I be without you, Chen?

-00-

In the morning, I woke up earlier to make breakfast for Chen. While helping me, Mom teased me that she was jealous because I never made her breakfast. “It’s because Chen is special..” I gave her an answer.

Yeah, Chen is special.. He makes me want to live.. He gives me life..

Chen was satisfied with the breakfast that I made. He said that the sandwich I made was super delicious. I was blushing to hear his praising.

Actually I want him to spend more days with him, but he should go back to Shanghai soon. He only got weekend to see me, and then he had to go back to school.

“Can you just skip school?” I begged him.

He chuckled. “Do you want your boyfriend to become a fool?”

“Just take homeschooling with me, Chen...” I begged again.

“My mom will disappointed at me if I leave her alone..”

I pouted to hear his other reason to leave me.

“Don’t be sad.. We’ll meet again soon.. Promised me that you will maintain your health, so the surgery will goes well, Yoon Bomi?”

“I promised..” I said it while pouting.

“Stop pouting.. you make me sad.. Give me smile..”

But I still pouted, so he pull the tip of my lips and made it curve. “This is pretty..” He ended it with giving me a peck on my lips. “Bye bye Bomi..”

“Bye Chen...”

“Don’t miss me..”

“How can I not? Come back soon..”

I didn’t know whether he nodded or not but then I heard the car’s engine was started, it means that he started to left.

Chen, I’m already missing you...

-00-

After he went back to Shanghai, we kept communicating but it was getting lessened and lessened. Chen said that he had a series of exam, so he couldn’t contact me often. He also told me to focus in my surgery preparation and said sorry that he couldn’t accompany me through the surgery. Talking about surgery, the doctors has already set a date for me to get the surgery. He said that my condition this time was perfect for the surgery and if we succeed, we will get over this crisis, and I will have a happy life without worrying about it anymore. Hearing his words gave me spirit.

I called Chen at the night before the surgery.

“Chen, I’m nervous..”

“Why? You have get through surgeries before, why do you have to be nervous?”

“I don’t know.. We can’t predict the future, right? I’m worried that it will not goes well.. Like, the doctors are just over optimist or something..”

“Well, let me ask you.. Do you want this surgery to goes well or not?”

“Of course I want it.. I want to be cured..”

“If that so, you should think that everything will goes well.. Don’t worry about other thing and keep positive..”

“Wish you were here, Chen.. I really want to hug you right now..”

“I’m sorry that I can’t be there..”

“Don’t you think you’re too cruel? You should be here with me... Is school more important than me?”

“It’s not like that.. It’s just..” He paused for  while searching for a good word to calm me down. “It’s just.. even we were separated by the ocean, but I’m always by your side Bomi.. Just like right now.. I’m squeezing your hand softly.. I’m caressing your hair.. I’m landing a soft kiss on your cheek.. Can you feel it?”

I was holding my tears. He was right, even though he was not here, but I still can feel his presence.

“Chen, how could you be so perfect? You’re such an angel..”

“Sssh, don’t cry Bomi yaaa...”

“If I can’t make it-“

“You’ll make it!”

“Just listen.. If I can’t make it.. I want you to look for another girl and live happily..”

“Yoon Bomi, don’t say nonsense...”

“Listen Chen.. Somehow I think that you’re too good for me.. You deserve an angel..”

“Bomi, stop.. Don’t think about anything else.. And focus on your surgery, uhm?”

“I know.. I just want to let you know.. That I’ve been so blessed to know you.. and to love you.. I will prepare my best for tomorrow, positive feeling right?”

“Yes, I really really really want you to be cured, Bomi... I hope God will grant my prayers these times.. For your happiness..”

“You too, Chen...”

-00-

With Chen’s words I faced the surgery with positive feeling. I prayed to God to give me a succesfull surgery. And our prayers were granted by God. The surgery went well and I felt so blessed that I can get through this crisis. I directly called Chen when I woke up.

I cried as I called him, “Cheeenn.. I made it..”

“Bomiiii....” He also cried from across the phone. “I know you will make it.. I know it...”

“Yes, it’s all because of you.. We get through this, Chen...”

“Yeah.. Bomi I really want to hug you and kiss you.. I—“ He couldn’t finish his words because he cried so hard. I could hear his sobbing through the phone.

“I’ll come to you soon..” I tried to make him calm.

But he responded fast. “Nooo! I... I’ll be the one who come to you..”

I smiled then asked, “When?”

“Soon... soon, Bomi...” He paused a while to catch a breath and continued, “You should focus on your next agenda..”

“My next agenda?” I was confused about what was he saying.

“Yes.. To heal your eyes...”

“Oh.. I haven’t heard about it again.. But I don’t mind if I can’t get it, because this is more than enough for me..”

“Noooo... Nooo that’s not enough..” He responded me so fast. From his tone, I could sense that he was serious. “You’ll get back your light, Bomi.. you’ll get it.. I want you to see the blue sky, I want you to see the beautiful of sunset, I want you to see the flowers’ blooming, I want you to see the brown leaves at autumn, or the white snow at winter.. I want you to see the world...”

“I just want to see you..” I cut his words.

“Yes, I want you to see me, Bomi... So that’s why you should heal your eyes..”

“But...”

“There’s no other excuse, Bomi.. If you worry about that donor just stop it.” He said it firmly. There was silent for a while until he continued, “Everything will fall into each place eventually.. So, if that eyes are destined to be yours then it will be yours.. You don’t have to feel sorry or anything..”

“Chen, why are you so emotional?” I was a bit confused at how emotional he was.

“I don’t kow..” He responded fast. He was still sobbing when he said, “I just got overwhelmed by the situation.. I want you to take the leap.. I want this time to be your turning point.. I want you to live your life to the fullest.. I want you to be happy, Bomi yaa...”

Listening to how emotional he want me to be happy touched my heart. He cared about me more than I care about myself.

We were in silent. I wanted to give him time for him to calm himself. I still could hear he was sobbing from across the phone, untl he said.. “I’m sorry...”

“What are you sorry for?” I asked softly.

“I shouldn’t be this emotional.. It’s just.. You are really mean to me, Bomi..”

“You don’t need to say sorry, Chen.. I should be grateful that you think of me like that.. You care for me more than I do.. Than