CHAPTER 10

Bomi’s pov

Have you ever feel so numb? You live but you feel like dying. That’s what I feel right now..

Tears couldn’t even describe how broken I was on the inside.. My world was crushed with his leaving. I have no purpose to live. I really wanted to end my life so I could meet him, but something holding on me, my promise to him that I will live happily. But how can I live without you, Chen?

I closed my eyes every day because I felt like I don’t deserve his eyes. I was going back to my darkness, drowning in my misery, feeling depressed, until his mom came to see me.

“Hi Yoon Bomi..” I heard her soft voice greeted me.

Still with closed eyes I nodded to her.

“Please wake up from your misery.. Open your eyes, the world is waiting for you..”

I shook my head as a sign that I didn’t want to do it.

“Chen must be sad to see you like this...”

“I’M NOT ASKING HIM TO GIVE HIS EYES TO ME!!” I was naturally screaming to respond what his mom saying. “H-how can he be so cruel?” I was sobbing hardly.

His mom let out a deep sigh and sat closer to me.

“Have you finished reading his letter? Or listening to the song he made for you?” She asked.

“No..” I responded softly.

“Well, you should finish it, you should give him a chance to tell you the whole story.. To give you an explanation..”

“I don’t need a ing explanation!!” I rarely cursed, but this time I couldn’t hold it. Everything was so bad, and I was frustrated. “I just need him to be here with me... I need him next to me....”

“Listen to me Bomi ya.. He tried it.. He tried to survive.. But the sickness was spreading more than a half of his body.. So before the time comes, he told me that if he couldn’t make it, he wanted to donor his cornea for you...”

“Nooo.. noooo... I don’t want to listen.. just gooo...” I covered my ears tried to not listen to his mom saying.

“He wants to be with you.. And that’s he can do.. That’s his last wish, Bomi...”

I didn’t know how to respond his mom, all I could do was crying. I was crying so badly until it felt burning in my heart.

His mom hugged me so tight and tried to strengthen me. “I know it’s hard for you to accept all of these.. But don’t burry his wish, Bomi ya... Please grant his last wish... He really wants you to be happy.. So you should get up and live your life with him.. Just remember that he always with you.. he is in you..”

I was screaming letting all of the sadness and pain in my heart to go out. He left me with the world he created for me to live. But the world for me is him, so how can I live in a world without him?

-00-

Even though it was hard, I tried to give him chance to explain everything. I opened my eyes and continued to read his letters.

I know you must be mad at me..

That’s you know..

But can you forgive me? Please... I have no op