CHAPTER 8

Bomi’s pov

Kim Jongdae is the most persistent guy that I have ever met. Even though every day he had to face my rude behaviour, he never missed one day to visit me. Even his Dad came once.

“Good afternoon Yoon Bomi ssi..” He greeted me kindly.

“Y-yes, good afternoon Doctor..” I thought that he was another doctor to check my condition, but then he introduced himself.

“I’m Kim Jonghyun, Jongdae’s father..”

Aaahh... that guy’s father... What is he doing here?

“Jongdae talked about you a lot.. And now I know why he kept mentioning that you’re pretty.. You’re indeed pretty..”

What? Did he talk about me with his father? Wait, did he say that I am... pretty?

“I know that Jongdae is a bit weird.. He kept coming to you, right? And you must feel bothered.. But he’s actually a nice kid.. he can be someone you can talk to.. You know, I’m actually really wanting you to be his friend too.. I guess he feels lonely since I’m busy in this hospital.. Do you want to be his friend, Bomi ssi?”

I was surprised by his question. But since I respected older people, I couldn’t help but to nod.

“Woah, Jongdae must be so happy to know that you want to be his friend.. You should keep your spirit Bomi ssi.. You can fight this cancer.. and remember, you’re not alone.. You have us..”

His Dad was really nice, but it still didn’t change the fact that this cancer was slowly eating me. And it was the matter of time for me to leave this world. I want to leave without leaving sadness to other people, so yeah I thought I am better to be alone.

But Jongdae couldn’t understand it. He even visited me at my house after I was released from the hospital.

 “Look, who’s coming Bomiyaaa..” My mom called me with her happy voice.

Who’s coming?

Don’t tell me that is him..

I walked slowly to the living room, and then I heard his voice.

“Hi...” He greeted me.

But knowing that he came boiled my blood. “Do you even come here??? Why do you come here?”

“Like what I’ve told you that I will come and come and come again..” He answered in relax.

I couldn’t believe that after all of my rejections, he still have will to come here. I walked closer to him and said, “Don’t you think that what are you doing is out of boundaries? If you only want to make fun of me, this is too much, Kim Jongdae ssi.. Don’t you know that what are you doing is hurting me?”

“Bomiya.. He only want to—“ My Mom tried to meddle.

“Mom, stop defending him! I know you want me to make a friend.. But no.. it will only hurt me and him, mom.. I will die soon.. So why do I have to make a friend just for leaving him behind?” I voiced out my inner feeling with full of emotion, until the tears came down to my cheeks.

For a couple of seconds there was only silent, until he reached my hands and said, “Yoon Bomi.. I am, Kim Jongdae, never has any intention to make fun of you.. I sincerely want to be your friend.. But if my existence hurts you, then I will leave.. and never bother you anymore..”

He paused for a while, and somehow it made me scared that he would say his last words to me. And my guess was right, he said sorry and then left me behind.

-00-

I didn’t know what happen to me. I wanted him to leave but deep inside my heart I didn’t want him to do that. It led me to tears and tears. I was crying for whole night regretting what I have said. I mad to myself.

I didn’t realize that Jongdae’s existence has affected me. I was used to his presence. So when he left I felt so lonely. But I always thought that maybe this was the best for us. I don’t deserve him. That was what I always said to myself.

I loved to sit at the veranda at the back of my house at twilight. I loved to see the flash light in my darkness when I was seeing the sunset. But day by day, I felt that someone was watching me from a far. I asked my mom whether there was someone looking at me when I was in the back yard, and at first she hide it, but then she told me that it was Jongdae. He kept seeing me silently, without telling me, he didn’t want to bother me. Knowing that he was still here these times touched my heart. I didn’t know that he was sincere all these times, and I felt regret for what I have did to him.

So, one day, I decided to approach him.

“Omo!” He was surprised to see me. I felt that he was bowing to hide his body.

His reaction made me laugh. “Don’t hide.. I know that it’s you, Kim Jongdae ssi..”

I was naturally smiling to imagine his reaction when he saw me. Then I was waiting for him to say a word, but he kept silent so I asked, “Kim Jongdae ssi?”

“Oh.. yeah..” He finally responded.

“Would you come inside?” I asked.

“M-may I?” He asked in stuttered.

“I’m sorry for what I said back then Kim Jongdae ssi.. I really regret it.. As you’re not coming here.. I realized something..” I paused for a while before continue to say, ” I think I need you... as my friend..”

“W-what have you said?” He sounded surprised.

“Uhm? Ah, I let you to come inside..”

“No no.. after that..”

“I say I’m sorry..”

“Nooo.. after that too..”

I laughed. “Let’s be friends, Kim Jongdae ssi..”

I didn’t want to think about my sickness, I just want to be his friend.

-00-

After that, Jongdae and I became friends. He called me by my name and I called him by his Chinese name, Chen. He visited me every evening and sometimes took me outside too. That day when he took me to the bank of the river near my house, he told me that his biological mom has passed away because of cancer, and he didn’t have a chance to be next to her. That made me understand why he was so persistence to be my friend. He wanted to accompany me to get through this cancer, a thing that he couldn’t do with his mom back then. Because of that reason, I let him to stay with me, to strengthen me, to be my shoulder to cry on, to be my guardian angel, to do everything to make not only me happy, but also him happy.

-00

We were getting closer day by day, Chen introduced me to his family and few of his close friends. He was so nice and gentle. Somehow I felt that my heart beat so fast every time he hold my hand. But it seems he didn’t notice that, because he kept holding my hands every time he took me outside.

My parents also started to entrust me to him, like giving him task to remind me to drink my medicine and did the therapy. As I spent time with him, I found myself to smile more often. He surely made my days. He even successfully made me back to sketch again. He asked whether I have searched for a cornea donor, and I told him that I have tried but want to stop because it was the same that I hope someone die. He told me that it wasn’t right and then he gave me an angel kiss. He kissed my eyelids gently and made me fly to the sky. I was beyond happy to have him by my side.

-00-

I thought that this time was perfect. Being next to Chen was the perfect moment of my life, but fate was always playing on me. That night, I suddenly couldn't breathe. I had to be taken to the hospital to get the immediate treatment.

I had been told that my cancer got worse, so I need to get through a surgery to prevent the cell from going metastatic. Listening to what Dad’s said making me scared. Is it the time for me to leave? Is it the time for me to say goodbye to Chen?

All of those questions and fears were drowning me into depression. I refused all of the treatment, I even refused to meet Chen.

"Bomi.. This is me.. Are you okay?" His worry voice welcomed me.

"Chen..." I whi