It was dawn already when Junhee awoke. She rubbed her eyes and gathered her consciousness, that was when she notices her eyes were swollen.

Oh.

Last night, she cried hard.

Turning her body to side, she found the sleeping figure of Jay. She must had stayed all night to accompany her last night. So, Junhee chose to grab her blanket and covered Jay’s body with that. Then she wore her jacket and went outside.

She sat on the ground and drew her legs closer to her chest, completely facing the sky. The sky was clear. There was no clouds nor stars. It was dark only with a full moon for companion. She let out a small sigh. She had so many thoughts in her mind right now. But she just didn’t want to think at all.

Her hand slipped on her pocket to get her phone, and then she took it out, found out that it was still 5AM.

Junhee scrolled her widgets and tapped her online chat application, revealing an old conversation that still archived.

Her lips curved into a bitter smile. It was her chat with Jungkook when they were on Junior High School.

Nam JH : Is it you, Jungkook?

JJK : No, I’m a cat.

Nam JH : I know it’s you ZZZ

JJK : Hm.

Nam JH : By the way, who was the woman who came to the school this morning?

JJK : My grandma’s grandma.

Nam JH : I’m serious.

JJK : Me too.

Nam JH : Seriously?

JJK : She is my Mom.

Nam JH : Why you didn’t say it earlier you stupid -_-

She smiled. It was their very first conversation. It happened the night after parents’ meeting. She continued scrolled.

Nam JH : Hey, Jungkook. How’s your score for Math test?

JJK : Why?

Nam JH : Just curious.

JJK : Not as good as yours, of course.

Nam JH : Haha, you admit it.

JJK : Honestly I did it on purpose so you can get perfect score. I got perfect score too often, and I just bored with that.

Nam JH : -_-

She chuckled. Junhee remembered it clearly that Jungkook’s weakness was Math back then. He stressed out often because of that. And she noticed that was his first long reply to her.

She continued scrolling.

JJK : Look at this show-off girl.

Nam JH : Huh?

JJK : You got 1st rank, did you?

Nam JH : How can you know?

JJK : It would be strange if I didn’t know, you stupid.

Nam JH : Ah, I forget you are my classmate. But Hayoung’s score was better than mine.

JJK : Who says your scores are good? Being 1st in class doesn’t really mean your scores are that good.

Nam JH : -_- I know it will happen if we keep chat like this. Bye.

That one was the first time Jungkook chatted her first. She remembered how happy she was back then.

Nam JH : I can’t believe you have a fan.

JJK : Ikr.

Nam JH : .....hell. By the way she has been looking for you this morning.

JJK : Who?

Nam JH : A girl from 2C. Her name is Gaein. Song Gaein.

JJK : Oh

Nam JH : Do you know her?

JJK : I don’t even know her face.

Nam JH : Hft. You are too indifferent.

JJK : No argue.

And then, the next was her message to him on the night after rumours about them spread.

Nam JH : I’m sorry

JJK : ?

Nam JH : I don’t know. I just... Well, I’m really sorry.

JJK : I don’t get it.

Nam JH : Can you please just ignore whatever they say about us? Sometimes they say something without thinking. Just pretend like nothing has happened. And please, don’t trust them.

JJK : Ok.

And that was the last message she had with Jungkook. Maybe he said ‘Ok’, but in real life, he was never being like that. That was just the ending of their friendship.

Junhee sighed. Many years had passed, yet everything remain the same. The only thing that had changed was now she knew his reason for avoiding her all the time. Thus it made her realize that her feelings were not worth it after all.

Buried her face with her palm, she whispered to herself, “It’s time to let everything go.”

***

It was around 9AM when all of Hiking Club’s member gathered. After having breakfast, they heard a siren sound which mean they had to gather on the field in 10 minutes. Jay said to Junhee she would be with Myungsoo, and ofcourse Junhee let her to do that. So, here she was, standing with full of laziness.

“Okay, everyone! So welcome to your first mission!”

The members clapped. Some were seem happy, but some were seem bored and powerless, just like Nam Junhee. Now she thought that it was her worst decision for choosing this club.

Right beside her was Jeon Jungkook, who chose to be an obedient junior with following their senior instructions –bring a stick, wore a thick jacket and beany, read throughout the schedules, well, just everything.

“So I will explain what will we do after this,” their senior said. “Each couple have to follow their direction, based on the colours on your guidebook. For example, if your guidebook’s colour is yellow, then you have to follow the yellow ribbon. It will lead you to the mission places, and you have to complete every mission to get the clue for the final destination. The more you get clues, it will be easier to find out where is the final destination.”

“I have a question!” someone shouted from behind.

“Yes?”

“What if we don’t win at all?”

“Then it will be hard for you to reach the final destination. Remember, we won’t care whether you will arrive at the final destination or not. We won’t try to find you if you get lost either. So, team work is needed here.”

“What?!” the juniors gasped in unison.

Ignoring the protests, the boy who announced the mission earlier checked his watch and then smirked. “Okay, so we will start the mission from... Now!”

While the others began moving to their own missions, Junhee was confused how to begin with Jungkook. He played with his phone and didn’t seem want to take initiative either.

“Ours are grey,” Junhee finally spoke.

Jungkook looked up, “I know the direction.” With that, he shoved his phone back to his pocket and walked ahead.

With her head hung low, Junhee followed from behind. She didn’t really in mood to walk nor talk right now, so her steps were so slow and made her distance with Jungkook grew bigger from time to time. She didn’t bother to ask him to wait either.

“Just why the hell I join this club, seriously?” she mumbled. She winced when she recalled how proud she was when she told Ahyoung that she joined Hiking Club.

She kept walking while mumbling until she bumped into someone. “Whoops-“

“We will arrive tomorrow if you keep walking with that speed,” Jungkook crossed his arms, unamused. She stepped back, uncomfortable with the proximity. She didn’t say anything.

Jungkook turned his body and began walking. About two steps, he stopped and turned to her, handing her his stick. “Bring it.”

Junhee received the stick, but said nothing. Another humanity action, maybe? She tought. With that, the two continued their journey.

The road wasn’t really difficult at first, yet once they got into the forest, it became steep and stony. There was time when Junhee found difficulty to step on the stone. Nonetheless, she always shut to not let out any sound or Jungkook will notice. He didn’t bother to turn around too.

After thirty minutes walking, they reached their first mission.

“Wow, congratulations! You are the fifth couple! Welcome to the Water Relay Race!” Their senior welcomed them cheerfully.

Well, of course. They have to cheer the gloomy couple. Junhee cringed at the sound of word ‘couple’ she had said.

“So, I wil l explain the mission. Do you see the pails over there?” He pointed two pails contained of water behind Jungkook and Junhee. “And those cardboards?” Then he pointed two cardboards about six meters away from the pails.

“You have to move the water from the pails to the cardboard using this,” he showed them two glasses. “The mount of water have to pass the red line inside the cardboard.”

“Wait- don’t you think that the water will seep in?” Junhee protested.

“It will. But if you move them quickly, you can pass the red line,” he smiled mischievously. “I give you two minutes to finish them. Please be ready.”

Both of them went to their position. Junhee was in charge of taking the water from the pails, and she would hand it to Jungkook who was in charge of pouring it into the cardboard.

“Okay, ready... three, two, one, GO!”

Junhee filled her glass quickly and ran towards Jungkook’s direction. Once she poured the water into his glass, Jungkook ran towards the cardboard and Junhee back to fill her glass again.

“Be careful! You will spill the water!” Jungkook shouted when she saw Junhee almost tripped.

Fortunately, she didn’t. “Here, fast!”

“One minute left!”

Junhee increased their speed, but unfortunately, she was tripped and fell with crouching position.

“Aish,” she winced as she felt that her right ankle was sprained.

“Are you okay?” it wasn’t Jungkook’s voice. It was one of their seniors. Nodding, Junhee tried to get up and filled her glass again. This time, she chose to walk instead of running.

“Are you-“

“Go, we have to win,” Junhee cut Jungkook’s words. Right after he poured the last glass, they heard a whistle.

“Okay, good job guys. I will check the result,”

We really have to win. Junhee pleaded.

“Well,” their senior spoke. “You pass the red line!”

Both of them sighed in relief. One of their seniors handed Jungkook the clue, and after Jungkook thanked them, they continued to the next mission.

“You have to go first, I will walk behind,” Jungkook suggested.

“But I don’t know the direction,” Junhee said.

“You just have to find the grey ribbon. Usually it is tied on the branch.”

“But-“

“You know, it will better if you walk first, so if something happen-“ Jungkook paused. He looked her right ankle, and then right into her eye. “You know what I mean, right?”

She blinked, “...Okay.”

She walked first, with much help of his stick. She felt pain on her right ankle when she stepped, but she had to force it or they wouldn’t arrive before the sun set.

They walked in silence. Junhee couldn’t hear his steps and it made her turn around, meeting with his eyes and his confused expression. “What?”

“I think you are left behind,” she answered honestly.

And for goodness’ sake, she saw his very first super-tiny-smile. Of course before it turned to his usual expressionless face. “Go on.”

She turned to front and began walking. Unconsciously, her lips curved into a small smile.

***

They had walked for one hour when they found a big stone under a big tree. They decided to take a rest first, well, Junhee asked him to take a rest since her ankle kept giving her a hard time.

“Do you know how many missions are there?” she asked.

“Only three.”

She sighed. They just did a mission, and that means there were two missions left.

“Wanna some?”

She looked up to him, only finding him handing her a bottle. After a moment, she received the bottle and drank it a bit. “Thank you.”

As she gave the bottle to him, they went silent. For someone who never had any hiking experience before, she needed more time to rest, ofcourse. In addition, she wasn’t that kind of girl who like to exercise. Thus, went to mountain like this, moreover with a sprained ankle, took much of her energy.

It was until they heard someone’s strange voice.

“What’s that?” Jungkook got up and looked around. Curious, Junhee followed him behind.

“I think someone’s sniffling,” she stated.

They walked to the direction where the sound came from, and as it began clearer, they found a big cracked branch laying on the ground. Seem like someone had stepped onto it.

The sniffling sound came from someone who sat not far from there. They approaced her.

As soon as they saw the girl, Junhee gasped. “Oh my God,” she winced when she saw a big wound on the girl’s right knee. “Are you okay?”

She looked up to them, “It hurts so much.”

“Where’s your partner?” Jungkook asked.

“She left the encampment this morning,” she explained with a husky voice.

Laying down beside the girl, Junhee took out her handkerchief from her pocket and bandaged her wound. The girl winced, and Junhee smiled at her. “This will prevent the blood from continuing to flow."

“She can’t continue with her condition. She has to go back to the encampment,” Jungkook said. Hearing his statement, Junhee looked up, “You have to accompany her.”

There were no other choices. Interpreting his silence as agreement, Junhee stood up and helped the girl to stood as well.

She looked at Jungkook, begged him with her eyes. Humanity, Jungkook. Humanity. “I will go to the final destination,” yet was all she said.

“You can’t finish the mission by yourself,”

Ouch. She forgot about that.

Jungkook checked his watch, “It needs almost three hours to get here.” Then he looked to Junhee, raising an eyebrow. “I don’t want to go back after I bring her to encampment.”

Junhee wouldn’t want too if she was him. She didn’t argue that.

“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to ruin your journey...” the girl looked at them and bit her bottom lip.

Junhee smiled at the girl. She didn’t blame her for that. But the problem is... “Don’t you think there will be punishment or something if we can’t come to the last destination?”

“I don’t care,” was Jungkook’s sincerest answer, so far. “Let’s go.”

Yeah, it was better to follow them.

***

Justice. People tend to say that everyone had every right to feel and receive ‘justice’, in every aspects in their life. But in fact, what you called as justice sometimes wasn’t justice for some people. Like this.

After they reached the encampment, they took the injured girl to their seniors and she was treated as soon as they got there. But here’s the problem. Some of their seniors didn’t want to let their heroic actions became an excuse for them to not continuing their missions. They said, it was responsibility. When Jungkook mentioned about what will happen if they didn’t bring the girl, they argued back with calling it as responsibility too, as fellow being.

Remember senior’s law? Seniors will always true.

“If I let you, it will be unrightious for others. Those who didn’t accomplish the mission just like you, will be punished as well,” was their senior’s last statement before leaving them with hundred dishes, unwashed.

“Aish...” Junhee crouched down, totally unamused with this punishment. Did they expect them to wash these dishes when there were no water around? And in this dark area?

She turned around, but then just to make it worse, Jungkook disappeared, suddenly.

“Wait, what?! Hey, Jungkook! Where are you?” she hollered, and even got more frustrated when she saw no sign of Jungkook. “Oh my God, I can’t believe it.”

She grabbed a sponge harshly, pour the cleanser liquid and began working. With all the mumbling and a bit of cursing, she cleaned the dishes without rinsing it. She would think about it later.

About thirty minutes later, she heard footsteps. Assuming it as Jungkook’s, she turned around, mouth filled with harsh vocabs which were ready to be spoken. “HEY YOU-“

Her words were all held in. She blinked as she saw Jungkook carried two big pails filled with water. Lumbering, he came nearer.

As he arrived, without letting out any sound, he placed the big pails beside the dishes. He was panting hard.

“Where did you get this?” completely amazed, Junhee asked him.

“It’s.. near..” he gulped before continued, “..you know, the.. small hut... down there... they told me before... there was... an artesian... well.”

Junhee softened. She recalled their ‘humanity’ occurrence, when he leaned her his jacket and said that because he was human too matter-of-factly. She assumed that maybe, this one was humanity too. Ah, also, responsibility.

“Take your time,” she said, seeing how sweat kept flowing from his head. Besides it wasn’t like there were still many dishes to be washed. She just had to rinse it with water.

Continued working, she began wonder what the boy was doing right know. On first ten minutes, she heard nothing. She reckoned he was still exhausted.

“I just have to rinse it with water, right?” his sudden question startled her, made her let out a ‘whoop’ sound when she almost dropped a plate.

“Oh- y-yes,” she replied. “After that, just place it centimeters away from those that haven’t been rinsed. Then we take them to the south tent.”

He nodded but didn’t say anything. He began rinsing those plates and glasses in silence. It was the same for her.

If only their friendship wasn’t ruined. If only she didn’t let her feelings grew bigger. If only she could erase those facts. They wouldn’t be like this.

Almost like a stranger. Or even, they already one.

She sighed.

All this time, they had been ignoring and avoiding each other. They should stop at this very moment. She might be hurt so much last night, but came to think about it, friendship were much more deserved to be valued than personal feelings. Being together with Jungkook the whole day, she noted that he wasn’t as cold as before. He was still indifferent, but he was a bit approachable than before.

She could be her ex-admirer, but she couldn’t be her ex-friend. There were no ex-friends in this beautiful world.

The unspoken reasons were their biggest abhorrence. The untold explanations were their strongest barrier. Thus, the only way to make it up was started a new one.

Maybe in the past, they had shared enough memories together. Bittersweet memories, she recalled. She couldn’t change the past, yet she could try to accept it. Jungkook could do the same, if only he opened the door and let her in.

She would only try to fix their present. She wouldn’t expect much, therefore, she won’t hurt much. She could do it too –not asking for explanations about the past nor trying to do so, well, just accepted everything just the way they were now.

That was how she value their friendship so much.

“Jungkook,” she said. After she had done with all of those dishes. “Can you let me ask you one question?”

Jungkook stared at her for a while, but found no reason to say no. He nodded.

“Well...”

A good question one. A good question one. First must be good and get his interest. Not a boring one.

“Um-“ receiving a weird look from Jungkook, Junhee just said whatever comes to her mind at that moment. “Why did you take Medical Department?”

***

Soon after his class was over, Jungkook rushed out the building and walked towards the bus stop. He took a bus with opposite destination with the one he used to ride, since today he planned to go to somewhere.

About fifteen minutes later, he got off in front of a hospital. When he walked in, he greeted the nurses and smiled at them as usual, then rushed to the 2nd floor.

“It’s ten minutes earlier, Sir.” a nurse said in the middle of corridor.

Jungkook stopped and turned at her, “Um- yes?”

“Wednesday, at 7PM.”

Jungkook blinked at first, then he almost gaped when he caught the point. “How can...?”

She giggled. “Ofcourse I remember it. You had done it for many years.”

“Ah...” Jungkook rubbed his neck. He didn’t notice her existence all this time since he greeted all of them whenever he came.

Then, I will go first.” He ducked politely and went his way.

Reached his destination, he opened the door slowly and walked in, surprised when he saw a familiar person sat on the corner of room, enjoying her tea. “Mom?”

“Oh, you were here?” she looked up from her book and walked towards him.

“It’s been a long time, Mom.” His lips curved into a small smile as he wrapped his arms around her shoulder.

“Hm,” the woman hugged him back. “You had grown up, Jungkook. You even taller than me now.”

“Yeah, It will be frightening if I got shorter than before.” He joked, receiving an amused laughter from the woman. Jungkook released his embrace and furrowed his eyebrows, “You know that I will be here, didn’t you?”

She smiled, “The nurse told me that there was a boy who always came along. I didn’t know it was you.”

A moment later he smiled very wide, just couldn’t hide his excitement. “How are you?”

“I’m fine,” she smiled. “By the way, I heard you were in Gwanak University now. Which department?”

“Medical Department,” he replied.

“Really?”

He nodded. The woman tiptoed and patted his head, “You good boy.”

The woman walked towards the bed with Jungkook followed behind. She stared at the fragile figure who laid on the bed with that blue colour clothes, which was a typical dress for patients here.

After minutes of silence, Jungkook finally spoke up. “I’m sorry...”

The woman turned at him, showing him her weary smile. “It was not your fault, Jungkook.”

Jungkook moved to her side, “Can I ask you something?”

She smiled, “Go on.”

He lowered his head, looking at the fragile figure with blurry eyes. “Am I decent to be here?”

His question surprised her. She took his hand and rubbed it slowly, “Don’t you dare to think like that, Jungkook. Stop blaming yourself.”

“But still-“

“No one want something like this happen. It was God’s plan and all that we can do is accept it with broad minded.” She said. “Jungkook, listen to me. I will be disappointed if you regretting and blaming yourself all the time. It was not your fault, please note this.

“Since you were in Medical Department now, I hope you can save others in the future.”

He replied her request with a small nod.

He hoped so.

***

No one asked him that before. Even his parents didn’t ask him when he told them his shocking decision.

“I will go to Medical Department.”

Mr. and Mrs. Jeon exchanged glances. But the one who spoke first was Mrs. Jeon. “Which university?”

Jungkook finally looked up to them, “It’s Gwanak University. I ask your permission, Mom, Dad.”

He could see his parents were curious about his reasons, but he got only a nod from his Dad, sign an approval.

In the other hand, Junhee only stared at him, who began quiet since her question was spoken. She noticed his unreadable gaze, and regretted her decision for asking that question.

“If that was personal-“

“I made a mistake,” he cut her off. Eyes still glued on the ground, he continued with almost a whisper. “And I’m here to fix it.”