“Is that supposed to be Fur Elise?”, Donghae asked chuckling when he heard Hyukjae humming through the phone line.

“Of course it is, why did you even ask?”.

“You have a weird way of singing, or should I say humming? I can barely make anything out of it”, Donghae still chuckling, seems like his mood for tonight is better than last night.

“Says someone who can recognize it, I actually sing it pretty good wasn’t I?”, Hyukjae smirked.

“Why did you suddenly sing it?”.

“You said that you want to sleep, so I’m singing a lullaby for you”.

“Fur Elise? Really? Don’t you have something else to sing for lullaby?”, Donghae mocked teasingly.

“Well… You’re the first ever I’ve sing a lullaby for, so I’ve got no idea”.

Donghae went silent and Hyukjae is afraid that he said anything wrong, “Donghae…?”.

“I’ve been curious…”, Donghae muttered.

“What? Curious at what?”.

“What is that noise? Something is buzzing in the background…”.

“What?”, Hyukjae getting nervous. Was it the car engine’s sound that he’s hearing? “There’s nothing, nothing sounds like that at all”.

“I’m not so sure either… But it’s definitely there, it’s been going on all the time, what is it?”.

“Uh, maybe it’s the signal? It’s got disturbed or something? I’m near a radio after all…”, Hyukjae is surely becoming an even more of smooth liar.

“Oh, that could be it…”, Donghae said and Hyukjae could hear it that the younger had sighed in relief. Could he be suspecting it already that Hyukjae is driving right now?

“Yeah it is… So, are you going to sleep or not?”, Hyukjae try to take control of the conversation.

“Hmm, I’m sleepy, yeah…”.

“Well then, you should sleep”.

“Yeah, but don’t hang up… I don’t want you to hang up the phone”, Donghae whined.

“You said it already before, I won’t. That’s why, do you still want me to lullaby you?”, teased Hyukjae.

“With another choice of song please…”.

“What do you recommend?”, Hyukjae giggled.

“…eh, how about ‘it’s a beautiful day’ by Michael Buble?” Donghae giggles back.

“What? Isn’t that a bit too upbeat for a lullaby?”.

“Well, you can make it a bit slower so it fits to be a lullaby”.

Hyukjae scoffed hopelessly, “you’re so… Never mind, I’ll try to comply”.

Then Hyukjae started to sing with a few chuckles from Donghae every now and then at first, but then it went quiet and Hyukjae know that Donghae had fallen asleep from the sounds of the younger’s breathing. He hang up and started to speed up his car, he can’t delay any more time now. He had to stay one night at his parent’s home last night because Donghae keep calling him and it was stalling time so he wasn’t able to keep on driving. At least tonight Donghae seemed calm enough because he’s not calling as much as he have done last night, he also laughed and joked a few times, so Hyukjae thought now is the time for making up the wasted time. He speed up his car even more.

But it only take Hyukjae a couple of hours speeding up in the highway before Donghae called him again and he have to stop driving and turn off the car altogether so that no noises for Donghae to hear.

“Yes Donghae”, Hyukjae picked up.

There’s a sniff at the other line, “Hyuk… I have nightmare”.

“Donghae… It’s okay, it’s just a nightmare, you’re okay”, lulls Hyukjae.

“I want to see you Hyukjae”, Donghae sniffed.

Hyukjae’s blood chills in a split of second, now he’s miles away from where Donghae is, what should he do if Donghae really wants to see him?

“But I can’t…”, Donghae whimper. “Hyukjae, I think I’m going crazy, I don’t why but I keep crying, I’ve never been such a crybaby. I want to see you so much it hurts, why- why am I so scared of it then?”

Hyukjae couldn’t possibly answer, he want to know the reason too. The thing is, they are standing at a point where the longer they stay, the longer it’s painful for both of them, the longer they long for each other yet they can’t get any closer. Donghae was the one to break down Hyukjae’s wall and now it’s Hyukjae’s turn to open Donghae’s rusted padlock of a heart, how he believed the younger’s yearning is a signal given to him that Hyukjae is the one who is able to stop Donghae from drowning in despair.

Despite the painful heartache, Hyukjae lulls Donghae back to sleep and continue driving until morning. But the night’s darkness seemed to drag on Hyukjae’s thoughts, sometimes, he would feel a sense of losing his way, losing his wits. Easier said than done, after all, human’s mind is far too tricky. Wouldn’t you ever feel like running away even at the simplest problem? Hyukjae was no better, being alone in the darkness out of nowhere with unfamiliar surrounding, it took a tolls on his mind. How many times has he thought of giving up, he couldn’t count it. Ironically, it was Donghae’s calls that keep him going as it also the one that stressed him out.

As time is keep ticking, both of them is also keep on crumbling bit by bit. Would they last?

--

It almost ten in the noon when Hyukjae finally reached Donghae’s hometown. He was far too tired, but he didn’t have it in him to allow himself to take a bit of rest, so he headed to a nearby motel, had a bath and go out immediately to Donghae’s parent’s house. It took him another thirty minutes until he reached the address that Heechul had given him.

How complicated it was for him that he wished for the journey to be longer as he wanted to get it over faster, he’s not ready yet he’s doesn’t want it to drag on. He’s contemplating whether he should get off the car and press the doorbell now or not. Yes, he knows it himself that it’s getting worse at any second he wasted, but it’s not as easy as it look.

Man up! He heard Heechul’s voice scolded him in his mind, so he get off the car and sighed heavily, he don’t want to faint now so he’s making sure there’s enough air in his lungs. Right before Hyukjae press the doorbell, his phone ring and he hurriedly get back to his car, it was Donghae.

What a timing, thought Hyukjae. “Hey, morning”, Hyukjae said.

“Hey, what are you doing?”, Donghae asked with a bit of a lazy voice.

“Uh…”, Hyukjae look at Donghae’s parent’s front door, the guilty feeling b even more, “I’m not doing anything, why?”.

There is a silence before Donghae said, “no way, what are you doing? You sounds suspicious and it took you quite long to pick up the call”.

Hyukjae sighed, “you know, I just woke up and… well you know what happened when healthy boys wake up in the morning, I’m doing funny business now”.

“What? Are you for real? You are unbelievable!”, Donghae gasped.

“Hey, it’s normal… So, I did appreciate it if you could give me some private time for a few hours ahead”, Hyukjae smirked.

“A few hours? That long? What are you gonna do?”, Donghae asked surprised.

“Do you really want me to say it?”

“No, no don’t. Just call me when you’re done”, Donghae grumbled.

“Sure, bye”, Hyukjae laughed and hung up after Donghae said good bye. He is sure dodged it well, it’s kind of embarrassing though, but it was the only thing that’s able to come up in his mind. Now he has a good few hours without Donghae’s call, he must use it well. He put his phone into his pocket, walked to the front door, prayed in his heart and pressed the doorbell while reciting his introduction in his mind. The door opened and a lady come out, she looked a bit confused at the sight of Hyukjae, he was someone she wouldn’t know after all.

“Good afternoon Mrs. Lee, I’m very sorry to disturb you, can I have a bit of your time?”, Hyukjae said trying his best not to shutter and sound as polite as possible.

“Yes, may I know who are you?”, the lady smiled politely.

“I’m Lee Hyukjae, I’m-“.

“Lee Hyukjae? Are you Donghae’s friend?”, the lady asked with her eyes widened.

“…Yes, I am… How…”, Hyukjae dumbfounded.

“My! I’ve been wanting to meet you and here you are! Where is Donghae? Is he in the car?”, the lady said excitedly.

“Hmm, no… I’m here alone”.

“Oh? But why?”, Mrs. Lee confused but before Hyukjae can even explain she’s already pulling Hyukjae to come into the house. “Come, come in first dear”, Mrs. Lee said with a big smile.

Then they sit down on a sofa, while Hyukjae feeling uneasy, Mrs. Lee keep on smiling as if she’s trying to ease the boy.

“What would you like to drink, Hyukjae-shi?” she smiled.

“Thank you mam, but you don’t need to bother…”, Hyukjae bowed.

“Oh no! It’s not a bother at all! I have to give the best treatment for Donghae’s friends! Now, now, I’ll bring you something, you wait here patiently okay? Do you like sweets? Yes? I’ll be back with it then”, Mrs. Lee chirped cheerfully.

Hyukjae could only bow and smile in respond to Mrs. Lee’s warm welcome, she was so excited and it confused Hyukjae how she seemed to know about him. Could Donghae had talked about him to his mother?

“Now…”, Mrs. Lee come back with a tray full of sweets and drinks, “Hyukjae-shi, come and get your sweets!”.

“Thank you, mam”, Hyukjae took a biscuit and eat it whole.

“Aren’t you a handsome boy, I’ve wanting to see you Hyukjae-shi, it’s quite a surprise to see you at my front door!”.

Hyukjae chuckled awkwardly, “Did Donghae told you about me already mam?”.

“Oh yes, that boy! He did talk about you, in fact you are the only thing he’s been talking about to us lately. It’s really weird, considering he never talk much even to us, but he suddenly became talkative whenever you are mentioned. He’s acting like a boy in crush, didn’t he?”, Mrs. Lee laughed excitedly.

Hyukjae becoming more nervous at what Mrs. Lee just said, “did he told you something about me?”.

“The things like how funny you are, how you seems distant yet you are a caring person, he also told me that you helped my boy a lot! I should thank you for that Hyukjae-shi!”.

“Ah, no… I didn’t do anything”, Hyukjae laughed shyly, “so he often call home?”.

“Just for now, he never did so before. Usually he will just come home whenever there’s a national holiday or on occasions such as new year eve, but for phone call it was usually us who called him. That’s why it’s quite a surprise for us that he’s calling in recently, he’s such a cold boy”, Mrs. Lee sighed with apparent sad expression.

Hyukjae could only nod awkwardly, what should he say now?

“He calls only to talk about you though”, Mrs. Lee said suddenly which make Hyukjae look up abruptly at her, “he would always said that he’s scared of you, yet he wants to see you… Asking for our help”.

Hyukjae stunned, what did Donghae had told his mother about? Will she misunderstand thinking that I’m making his son’s life miserable?

But then Mrs. Lee smile which reassure Hyukjae that she didn’t misunderstand. “You know Hyukjae-shi, this is the first time I’m actually felt like I have a son”.

“Pardon…?”.

“I wasn’t able to have a child back then, Donghae was my adopted son. I was so happy to have him, I love him even now and I always will. But… I don’t know if he’s really a son to me, because he was too hollow I felt like Donghae is just a mere living shadow and it became worse when miraculously I had my own flesh and blood of a son. Donghae had to become even more of an overcast shadow, he laughed, he smiled, he talked but it was hollow, I can’t see anything from him”.

Hyukjae gasped, why suddenly she told him all this private story? He haven’t say anything yet.

“But now, now I can see him, you bring me my son back as a human again, Hyukjae-shi. You know about it didn’t you? Isn’t that why you are here?”, Mrs. Lee smiled.

Hyukjae gulped in shock, she had nailed it, perfectly. “Yes, I’ve come here to know about it… About Donghae, I want to help him”.

Mrs. Lee took Hyukjae’s hand and caress it slowly, her lips trembling, “thank you, for years… It’s been a long years that boy lost in the dark and no matter how hard we try, he always shut himself out from the world. Thank you for bringing light in his life, I can’t thank you enough…”, tears swelled up in her eyes.

Hyukjae clench his jaws, too many emotions flooded him all at once, his body trembling and the next thing he couldn’t hold back his whimper. He cries like a child in Mrs. Lee’s arms, it was like he found salvation in her embrace, something that assure him solidly that everything would be alright. That he did took a step on the right direction.

“Oh Hyukjae-shi, are you… Are you in love with my son?”.

He should be feeling scared that his feeling was discovered, but he was in peace, he felt like all the burden have been lifted from his shoulders that he didn’t care anymore. “Yes, yes I am…”, Hyukjae sobbed.

Then Mrs. Lee hugged Hyukjae more tightly and the sobbing boy’s back gently. She didn’t say anything, no. But it was more than Hyukjae need, more than what he think he deserve.

“Why- Why do you believe it was me who is the one to bring him back?”.

“Oh I know, I know it… I’m still his mother, of course I know it. As I know that he’s condition is not good now, it’s been too many years since he have any emotions, he must be pretty confused and messed up right now, isn’t that why you are here?”.

Hyukjae nods hopelessly and wiped his tears, he tried to regain his composure.

“What do you want to know?”, Mrs. Lee asked.

“Do you know what is it that caused him to be like this?”.

“We’ve tried to bring him to a psychiatrist, but it wasn’t successful since Donghae wouldn’t give any respond to the doctors. But the doctors did pin point what could be the cause”.

“And that is…?”.

“They said it was the accident which caused him the lost of his parents”, said Mrs. Lee and decide to continue when she saw Hyukjae gulped nervously. “It was a car accident, Donghae was left in the car for days with… I’m sorry, I can’t explain it. You should search for it yourself at this orphanage”, Mrs. Lee sniffed standing up from her seat and walk away to bring back a card which contain information about a certain orphanage.

Hyukjae took the card from Mrs. L