Glass Heart

January 2011

People say that a brittle heart is easily broken. I wish that mine was made of cloth so that I could sew it back every time it tears apart.

Sungjong fiddled with the small chain dangling from the bracelet. He found himself smiling at the memory of that night’s events under the christmas tree.

He traced his fingers lightly across his lips, thinking back to the little “accident” he had with Myungsoo. It all started because he was being a stubborn mule and refused to ask Myungsoo for help even though he knew he clearly couldn’t reach the top of the Christmas tree.

It was times like these when Sungjong actually gave himself a pat on the back for his obstinacy because as soon as Myungsoo smiled up at him, he decided it was worth putting in the extra effort after all.

Distracted by his bestfriend’s angelic smile, Sungjong failed to pay attention to where his foot landed and slipped. He expected to have his arm broken and maybe even his nose if he was unfortunate enough to land on his face.

But the pain never came as he felt himself fall on something soft and before his mind could register what just happened, his lips were glued onto Myungsoo’s.

Sungjong rubbed his forehead in frustration. Stupid, stupid, stupid! Why did I do that?! He wished he had just laughed it off and pretended it was just an accident and that he felt nothing from that kiss. Instead, he just fell silent and silence can mean two things; either because the kiss was so sudden that Sungjong was too shocked for words or because he actually felt something.

And the truth was, Sungjong did feel something for his bestfriend but he could only hope that Myungsoo was too dense to realize it.

Sungjong heard the bell chime, indicating the end of the break. He retraced his footsteps to the classroom with hurried steps. Turning the corner, Sungjong slammed into a body, knocking him down onto the ground.

Before Sungjong could pick himself up, he was roughly pulled up by the collar, coming face-to-face with the two people he least wanted to bump into, except this time Sungjong noticed that something was off about them.

“Lee Sungjong, you! You really did it this time!” Woohyun forced out through gritted teeth as he boiled with rage.

Sunggyu was strangely quiet behind him but judging the dark expression on his face, Sungjong could tell he wasn’t at his best mood either. He suddenly felt a knot in the pit of his stomach, telling him that this time was different, something was wrong, and that he should run. Now.

Sungjong tried to pull his arm free from Woohyun’s grip but the bully held onto him tightly, shoving him towards the direction of the bathroom. As soon as they shut the door, Woohyun pushed the nervous boy against the wall and placed his arms on either side of the boy’s head, trapping him effectively.

“What did you tell Hoya?” Sungjong’s head shot up at his question, feeling confused. He racked his brain trying to remember  what he could’ve said to his new friend that might’ve angered the two bullies but nothing came to his mind.

“I-I don’t know what you’re tal-“ he tried explaining himself but he was cut off when Woohyun suddenly slammed his fist angrily on the wall.

“Stop acting innocent! It’s all your fault that Hoya quit our gang, you !” Woohyun yelled.

Sungjong’s eyes widened. He never said anything that would persuade Hoya to do something like that. He was certainly surprised that the bully would want to befriend him, at the beginning, but he let Hoya get close to him anyway and avoided the remaining two as usual.

“It-It’s a misunderstanding! I never-” he tried again but Woohyun did not want to listen to him and only became angrier. He punched Sungjong’s right cheek, causing the boy to fall down from the impact.

Woohyun stood over the shaking boy with his fist raised above his head, ready to dive in for a couple more beatings but a voice called out to him to stop. Sunggyu walked up to them, grabbing Woohyun’s shoulder to push him aside. He crouched in front of the shaking boy and grabbed his face in a bruising grip.

“You know, Lee Sungjong, we’ve been easy on you compared to our other victims. But to be able to seduce even the most cold-hearted fighter, I must’ve underestimated you. It’s time for you to learn your lesson, right, Woohyun?”

Sungjong’s eyes widened with fear. Tears rolled down his cheeks as he shook his head, begging them to let him go but Sunggyu and Woohyun just smirked and advanced slowly towards him like two beasts that found their prey.

Sungjong thrashed wildly under them, swinging his arms left and right. He curled himself into a ball to protect himself but it was only in vain as Woohyun trapped the boy’s arms above his head while Sunggyu ripped open his shirt.

He let out a sob that was muffled by a hand, either Woohyun’s or Sunggyu’s, he didn’t know. The only thing Sungjong knew, at this moment, was that no one would hear his cries for help. No one will save him.

Sungjong closed his eyes in defeat as Sunggyu reached towards the zipper of his pants. But they shot open again when the bully was suddenly knocked a few meters away from the boy.

Sunggyu glared at the boy standing by the doorway, his lips twisted into a scowl. Myungsoo breathed hard, his stare unwavering, as he straightened his back.

“Don’t you dare lay a finger on Sungjong” he growled.

“You bastard!” Woohyun charged towards Myungsoo with his fist in the air, aimed towards Myungsoo’s face. Myungsoo cracked his knuckles before dodging the blow and smashed his own fist across the bully’s left cheek.

Sunggyu attacked Myungsoo from behind, sending the boy flying towards the ground. He was dragged up by Woohyun who trapped his arms in a tight grip behind his back while Sunggyu threw punches after punches onto Myungsoo’s abdomen. Sungjong yelled for them to stop, his face soaked with fresh tears, but the bullies were relentless.

Myungsoo gritted his teeth, holding in the pain. He didn’t want to give them the satisfaction of knowing he was affected by their blows. Gathering up strength, he kicked Sunggyu in the waist before twisting his body around to knee Woohyun in the chest.

He grabbed the front of their shirts, one bully in each hand, and pushed them against the wall hard. Sunggyu and Woohyun tried to pry his hand off but Myungsoo only tightened his grip on them. They froze when the scowl on Myungsoo’s lips suddenly turned into a smile.

The boy pulled the two towards his face, his lips close to their eyes, and in a deep voice that was just loud enough for them to hear, Myungsoo whispered,

“If you two go anywhere near Sungjong again, I swear I will wipe you off the face of earth. Understood?”

Having said that, Myungsoo shoved them out the door. Sunggyu, who felt humiliated, stood his ground however the dark glint in Myungsoo’s eyes told Woohyun that Myungsoo was definitely the type to do exactly as he said. Seeing the danger in getting mixed up with him, he grabbed Sunggyu’s arm, shaking his head as a sign to back down, and they both retreated.

Myungsoo turned towards Sungjong who was still sitting on the cold-tiled floor. His face was hidden between his knees and he was trying to cover his body with the ripped shreds of his uniform, tugging at the fabric until his knuckles turned white.

“Sungjong?” Myungsoo called out his name, softly. He approached the boy in small and light steps as if he was moving towards a small animal. Just as he was one step away from Sungjong, the boy cried out. He stood frozen to the spot.

“Don’t! Don’t come any closer.” Sungjong curled into a tighter ball as if he was trying to make himself disappear. Taking in a shaky breath, he continued, “I didn’t want you to see me like this. I hate it! I didn’t want…d-didn’t want-“

Myungsoo fell onto his knees and pulled Sungjong into his chest. He rubbed circles on his back and kissed his forehead to calm the boy down but it only made Sungjong break down into heart-wrenching sobs.

Myungsoo hushed him, whispering into his ears over and over that it was not his fault. None of this was his fault.

“I’m sorry, Jongie. I’m sorry I came so late.”

Myungsoo hissed in pain and tried to move away from the cotton soaked in alcohol that Sungjong pressed against the corner of his lip but Sungjong pulled him back towards him.

“Stay still, Myungsoo. We have to treat your wounds or else they will get infected.”

Sungjong, having calmed down, insisted on bandaging up Myungsoo’s wounds and dragged him to the infirmary. The nurse was away so he took the first-aid kit and sat Myungsoo down. With one hand, Sungjong applied ointment onto the cuts while his other hand tugged at the collar of the tracksuit jacket around his shoulders to keep it in place.

His eyes became teary at the sight of Myungsoo’s face. His once handsome face was decorated with cuts and bruises. Sungjong knew there was no one to blame but himself. He blinked back the tears and bit his lip, swallowing the knot in his throat.

Myungsoo frowned. He cupped Sungjong’s cheeks and pulled his face towards him.

“Jongie, smile~” he pouted cutely at Sungjong, hoping it would cheer him up however Sungjong remained passive to his efforts.

Changing tactics, Myungsoo went on a full-on tickle attack on Sungjong. Despite Sungjong’s attempts to yell at Myungsoo to stop and also try to hold in his laughter, he eventually burst into a fit of giggles which brought a relieved smile to Myungsoo’s face.

“Don’t cry anymore, ok? My Jongie’s the cutest when he smiles.” Myungsoo enveloped Sungjong into a tight hug and patted the back of the boy’s head, not noticing the boy’s rouge-stained cheeks that were pressed against his chest.

--

Hoya climbed up the ladder to the elevated section above the roof’s exit. He flattened his body on the ground, staying out of sight, as soon as he heard familiar footsteps walking up the staircase that led to the roof’s entrance.

It was Sungjong that walked through the doorway just as he expected. Hoya had been avoiding Sungjong since he found out what Sunggyu and Woohyun did to him. He was ashamed, knowing that it was his fault Sungjong went through that horror.

Sunggyu spat onto the patch of grass next to his feet. He squinted his eyes as he directed his gaze filled with anger and disbelief at the boy in front of him.

“Repeat what you just said.” he challenged, expecting Hoya to back down at this point and scoffed when he didn’t.

“I want to quit your gang”. Hoya repeated in a serious tone.

Woohyun could not believe what he just heard. He knew the relationship between Hoya and Sunggyu was quite tense lately but he brushed it off, thinking it was just another of their usual quarrels. He never expected Hoya to actually want, or even consider, leaving the group.

“You do realize what we will do to you or to anyone that wants to leave.”

It was the rule the three of them agreed to on the day their group was formed. If any one of them wanted to leave the group, it was considered an act of betrayal. That member would have to undergo a series of beatings from the remaining members without fighting back. No one was to leave unscathed.

Woohyun urged Hoya to rethink his decision but Hoya simply nodded his head at Sunggyu, indicating that he was fully aware of the consequences. Sunggyu gestured at Woohyun to grab onto Hoya’s arms to prevent him from escaping and sent a harsh kick on Hoya’s lower jaw.

The attacks were brutal and unforgiving. Hoya swore people would laugh if he told them that he and Sunggyu were once friends. Sunggyu tugged at Hoya’s hair to force the boy to face him. He laughed cruelly at his bruised eye and the blood dripping from his nose.

“Any last words before I beat the out you, you pathetic scum?” A name spilled out of the boy’s bruised lips. A name that Sunggyu didn’t foresee him saying.

“Sungjong…leave Sungjong alone.”

Sunggyu had wanted to find out the reason for Hoya’s odd behaviour. But now that he did, it only made him angrier, causing him to take out his anger on Hoya.

The last thing that Hoya remembered was the fury and hatred in Sunggyu’s eyes before he out.

When Hoya regained consciousness, he was lying on the bed in the infirmary, having been found by a student passing by. It was not until he heard two students talking about Sungjong when he discovered that Sunggyu and Woohyun went to find Sungjong after they beat him up.

They could only tell him bits and pieces of what they’ve heard but one thing they were sure of was that the two bullies left the bathroom with bruises all over their faces and that a boy carried Sungjong out moments after.

Hoya knew right away that the boy he saw standing outside of Sungjong’s home, the boy in the photograph, was the one who rescued Sungjong. He was grateful towards Myungsoo but a part of him wished he was the one who was there instead.

He heard Sungjong sighing loudly and muttering to himself, “Should I tell him? Or should I not? Would he hate me if he knew that I was in love with him all these years? Would he feel disgusted?”

Hoya didn’t have to ask to know who “he” was. He was aware that Sungjong was in love with the dark-haired boy since the day he saved his life at the swimming pool.

“I don’t know what I should do! Someone please tell me what I should do! Someone! Anyone!”

Before Hoya could stop himself, he voiced, “If you really love him, just tell him. Otherwise, you’ll never know how he feels.”

Hoya? Sungjong stood up at the sound of his voice. He looked around but the boy was nowhere to be found. Hoya slapped his hand over his mouth. He held in his breath, afraid that even the sound of him breathing would expose him from where he was hiding.

Feeling disappointed for not being able to find him, Sungjong made his way towards the exit. He stopped at the doorway. “I don’t know what I did but if I did anything to hurt you, I apologize. I hope we can become friends again.”

Hoya waited until he could no longer hear the footsteps descending the stairs before jumping down from the top. It pained him, having to give up his crush to his rival but if that was the way to make up for what he did, he was willing to disappear from the boy’s life.

Sungjong ran at the fastest speed his legs could bring him. He had made up his mind to confess to Myungsoo. Hoya was right. He would never know if Myungsoo felt the same for him unless he did something about it.

Unable to stop himself in time, Sungjong crashed against an object but before his head hit the ground, an arm grabbed him around the waist, pulling him forward until he stood steadily on his two feet. Sungjong looked up to see Myungsoo grinning widely at him.

“Why are you in such a hurry, Sungjong?” Instead of replying, Sungjong grabbed Myungsoo’s wrist, leading him to an empty classroom.

“I have something to tell you!”       “I need to tell you something.”

They laughed at their own silliness, surprised at themselves for having the same train of thought. Sungjong decided that if he could wait for more than ten years to confess, he could wait another few minutes so he let Myungsoo talk first. But he didn’t realize that what he was about to hear, he was not ready for it.

“I have someone I like.”

Sungjong thought he heard a sound of glass breaking. It was too late when he found out it was his heart that broke into a million pieces, the shards piercing him until he bled.





-----------------------------------------------------author's note--------------------------------------------------
Hope you enjoy reading the latest chapter! I appreciate your thoughts and reactions so don't forget to leave comments! <3

I know I haven't updated for the last few weeks...I've been pretty stressed out lately but please don't give up on me! I can't guarantee I can update regularly but I will most definitely finish this story. Thank you~