A Heart Possessed

November 2010
 

I wish time would stop so that we could stay like this forever. Just you and me. No one else.

Hoya watched as Sunggyu and Woohyun cornered a student outside the building next to their school. He was short and thin, the perfect build for a victim. His shaky fingers pushed the rim of his glasses up his nose. He bit onto his lip, trying his best not to let out a sob, fearing he would earn himself a punch on the cheek if he did.

Woohyun counted the paper bills in his hand, mumbling the amount of Won they added up to and scoffed loudly.

“5000 won?! You’ve got to be kidding me.”

Sunggyu chuckled. He grabbed the money out of his friend’s hand and waved it in front of the student’s face.

“This doesn’t even last for a day. But I’m not someone that wastes money so I’ll take it anyway.”  He pats the shaking boy’s head before stuffing the bills in the inner pocket of his uniform jacket, grinning as he sees the look of horror on his face.

He was just about to grab the student’s phone when the boy finds an opening and suddenly pushes through the gap between Sunggyu and Woohyun. Woohyun yells for him to stop and was about to give chase when Hoya stands in his way.

“Let him go. You guys got what you wanted anyway.”

Woohyun raises an eyebrow at him. He noticed that Hoya didn’t join him and Sunggyu as much these days. And even when he did, he would just stand some distance away, trying not to get involved, or if he did, he would step in to stop them like he did today.

“You know…you’ve changed. You used to hang out with us all the time. Now you just disappear somewhere. You aren’t bored of us or something, are you?” he laughed.

Deep down, he hoped Hoya would laugh at his joke and give him the reply he wanted to hear but his lips turned downwards into a frown when his friend just shrugged.

Sunggyu was watching Hoya throughout the whole conversation. He squinted, studying him carefully to look for some sort of sign or hint in his expressions but Hoya had always been one of the most difficult people to read.

“You’re hiding something, aren’t you?”

And for the first time today, Hoya laughed but it was more sarcastic than a genuine one.

“I’m not. Even if I am, do I have to tell you guys everything?” he challenged. Sunggyu immediately scowled at his cockiness. He stepped in front of Hoya until his face was intimidatingly close, their noses almost touching.

“Watch your mouth. Don’t think I won’t beat you up just because you’re our friend.” Hoya clenched his jaw tight. His unwavering stare met Sunggyu’s, both of them unwilling to back down due to their pride.

Woohyun, seeing the tension between the two, jumped in to stop them before things got worse. He pushed at their chests until Hoya finally stepped back.

He shoved his hands into his pockets and turned around, making his way back towards the school.

Woohyun breathed a sigh of relief. He looked back towards Sunggyu, who was clenching his fists at his side, and knew that their group was slowly breaking apart.

--

Hoya walked into the empty school building. The classrooms were dim and quiet. The only sounds came from the basketball court where afterschool activities were held.

He walked towards the direction of the swimming pool, hoping he could clear his head under the water. He preferred swimming after school when the pool was empty and not having to deal with his noisy classmates.

Having changed into his swim shorts, Hoya entered the pool area and stood at the edge. He bent down, reading to dive in when he saw bubbles floating to the surface.

He leaned forward to take a closer look and saw a blurred figure under the water, motionless. Hoya dived in and swam towards the figure. He was surprised to see a familiar face but pushed his thoughts aside as his priority was saving the boy at the moment.

Hoya hooked his arms around Sungjong’s and pulled him towards the surface. He gasped, taking in oxygen, as soon as his head reached above the water. Dragging Sungjong’s limp body onto the floor, he let go of his arms and placed his ear against the boy’s chest.

He could still hear a faint hearbeat but Sungjong was clearly not breathing. Hoya pumped his chest a few times before blowing air into him. No response. Pump chest, blow air. Hoya was getting desperate as Sungjong remained unconscious.

He  repeated a few more times and was about to go call for help when Sungjong suddenly coughed. Sungjong rolled onto his side, coughing out the water he breathed in, and took deep breaths.

“You alright?”

He turned his head towards the voice and saw Hoya sitting next to him. Sungjong  remembered that this was the second time he was saved by him.

It was strange. He was supposed to hate Hoya just as much as he did towards Sunggyu and Woohyun but for some reason, he couldn’t. There was something about Hoya that told Sungjong he wasn’t as bad as he seemed.

Sungjong suddenly noticed his empty hands and panicked. He started walking back towards the pool but he was stopped by a warm hand on his elbow. Hoya walked in front of Sungjong and placed the wallet in his hands.

“This is yours, right? I found it on the bottom of the pool.”

Sungjong clutched the wallet tightly in his hands and mumbled a soft “thank you”. He looked up shyly at Hoya, embarrassed at his currently wet and disheveled appearance and the fact that he found him in that situation.

But Hoya didn’t question him about how he ended up, almost drowned to death, in the pool nor did he ask about the wallet. Instead, he walked towards the benches near the pool, where he left his towel and watch and grabbed the towel before placing it on Sungjong’s shivering shoulders.

“I’ll walk you home”.

They walked in silence with Sungjong stealing glances at the intimidating boy next to him. He still couldn’t believe he was walking next to Hoya, his bully, his enemy and one of the reasons for his misery at school.

Hoya, however, didn’t seem to be affected by their sudden interaction. He was looking straight in front of him as they walked. His lips were closed tight, not making any effort to break the awkward silence between them.

He did notice Sungjong peeking at him and without looking at the nervous boy, he simply stated, “If you have something to say, then say it.”

Sungjong jumped slightly at his voice. His cheeks flushed pink, embarrassed at being caught staring. He cleared his throat a few times before taking a deep breath and asked, “W-Why are you so nice to me?”

Hoya seemed shocked for a moment at his question but he quickly composed himself to his usual poker face.

“Because you’re…you’re different.”

“I’m different? How-“

“SUNGJONG!”

Their conversation was interrupted by Myungsoo who was waiting in front of Sungjong’s apartment complex and ran over to them when he saw them. Myungsoo wrapped his arms around Sungjong, his hand resting over Sungjong’s head and it lightly.

“Where were you?! I tried calling you but you didn’t answer and you weren’t home either. I was so worried!”

Sungjong fished his phone out of his pocket and saw the notification that read ’14 missed calls’ and immediately felt guilty for not being able to call Myungsoo back and tell him he was ok.

Yet, even though he felt bad for letting Myungsoo worry about him, Sungjong couldn’t help but enjoy the feeling of being “loved” by Myungsoo. He wrapped his arms tighter around Myungsoo’s shoulders, relaxing into the hug.

Myungsoo noticed Hoya standing awkwardly next to them. He reluctantly let go of Sungjong and placed his hand forward towards Hoya.

“Thank you for taking Sungjong home”. 

Hoya nodded and took the hand in his. For a brief moment, he felt Myungsoo’s grip tightening around his hand before he let go but he saw nothing hostile in Myungsoo’s expression.

He watched as Myungsoo took Sunjgong inside his home, his gaze never leaving the arm that was around Sungjong’s shoulders.

--

For the whole morning, Sungjong could feel someone staring at the back of his head. Sungjong had a feeling about who it was but every time he turned his head around and his eyes accidentally met Hoya’s, Hoya would turn away and feign ignorance.

Sungjong hoped that he wasn’t on the rebel’s bad side and he was surprised when Hoya approached him during break time and asked him how he was.

He timidly replied that he was fine. He was still nervous and a little awkward around Hoya but Sungjong didn’t find it completely hard to talk to him.

Just as they were starting a nice flow of conversation, Sungjong spotted Myungsoo waving at him by the door, gesturing him to meet him outside the classroom.

Sungjong quickly ran towards the door, an obvious glint of happiness in his eyes. Myungsoo smiled at his cute friend and ruffled his hair.

It was the start of the school year and students were beginning to enroll into clubs. Sungjong still had no idea what club to join. He thought about asking Myungsoo to look into them with him but Myungsoo was already set on joining the Photography club.

“I can’t wait to use all those different types of cameras. And I heard the club manager is hot!” he laughed, not noticing the uneasy look on the boy’s face.

A part of him wanted to tell Myungsoo to not join the club, but he knew how much Myungsoo loved photography. It would be unfair for him to stop his friend for his own selfish reasons.

They agreed to meet outside Myungsoo’s classroom after school to go home together. Sungjong had cleaning duties and ended up finishing later than he planned. He rushed towards Myungsoo’s classroom, expecting him to be standing outside but there was no one.

Looking into the classroom, he saw Myungsoo asleep at his desk.  His right cheek was pressed onto the desk. His hands were folded in his lap.

Sungjong walked quietly towards him and sat at the desk next to him. He rested his left cheek on the desk, bringing their faces at the same level.

He had initially just planned to watch Myungsoo for awhile before waking him up but he found himself, instead, inching closer and closer towards his bestfriend until their noses touched.

Closing his eyes, Sungjong pressed his lips lightly against Myungsoo’s.

Time seemed to stop as he could not see nor hear anything except feel the autumn breeze that did nothing to cool the flames of his heart.

Burning. Burning. Until his heart turns to ashes.




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