16

“Get the off her!” Kai growled as Baekhyun grabbed Luhan by the collar and hauled him to his feet. Kai shoved him and he almost fell right back down again. I ran outside but Jongdae stopped me from shielding Luhan.

“Stop!” I screamed. “What’s wrong with you!?”

“He was hurting you!” Kai snarled, looking at Luhan disdainfully even though he was talking to me.

“No, he wasn’t! We were playing, you idiot!” I shouted, panic pumping through my veins. “He was just tickling me, don’t hurt him! And apologise for pushing him.”

“Apologise?” he balked. “He’s the one who should be apologising for kissing you!”

I stumbled over my words, “M-m-mwoya? Mwo?”

Baekhyun sneered, “You think we don’t know? We saw the pictures, Kim Nara!”

“Pictures?”

“Those stalker girls came to Kris hyung’s apartment and showed us the pictures of you and this freak kissing,” Jongdae divulged, shooting Luhan a hateful glare. I tried to pry myself out of his hands but he held me tightly. “What the hell were you thinking being alone with him? He ually assaulted you!”

“Oh, it was a kiss, calm down,” I scoffed, rolling my eyes. “Like you haven’t kissed a girl before.”

“That’s different,” Kai cut in.

“Why? Why is it different?” I demanded. “Why can all of you kiss whoever you want but I can’t? Why can you like whoever you want but I can’t?”

At that, they all froze. Baekhyun released Luhan, who dusted his knees. His eyes darted between each of my friends.

“What?” Baekhyun hissed. “You…you like him?” He jutted his chin at Luhan. “You like this punk!? He’s a ing murderer, for Christ’s sake!”

“You don’t know that!” I snapped. “Stop acting like it’s more than a damn rumour. Show me the damn proof and then I’ll happily tell you that you were right!” 

“Oh my ing God,” Kai laughed, shaking his head as he looked between me and Luhan. “I can’t ing believe this. You’re…you’re almost laughable, Kim Nara. You have the worst ing taste in men, I swear to God.”

“Why, because she doesn’t like you?” Luhan snorted. My heart dropped when I saw the lethal look in Kai’s eyes. “That’s why you hate me so much, isn’t it? Not because of my reputation but because you’re scared of someone outside of your group stealing her.”

“Sunbae,” I hissed, willing him to shut his mouth.

“You’re treading on real ing thin ice, my friend,” Baekhyun growled.

“Tell me I’m not telling the truth,” Luhan pressed. “You’re all overprotective of her…and I understand that. I respect that. Kim Nara is a beautiful, smart, funny and all-round amazing girl, you should be protective of her.”

“Don’t talk about her like you know her better than we do,” Jongdae snapped. I looked around and saw that other students were coming out of their rooms to see what all the commotion was. “We’re her best friends, we’re her boys. You don’t fit in.”

“Because you don’t want me to,” Luhan insisted, throwing his hands up in the air. “You’re so caught up in restricting her and controlling her life that you don’t take into consideration what she wants. And she loves all of you too much to go against your wishes.”

“Sunbae, shut up,” I pleaded, feeling how Jongdae’s grip got tighter, almost painful. “Stop aggravating them.”

“Listen to her, sunbae,” Kai hissed. “Nara-ya knows we support her in almost anything she does or wants. But we refuse to let her hang around with someone with a reputation like yours. It’s that simple, nothing against you personally.”

“Kind of is,” I cut in but my words were ignored.

“Oh, so my reputation can’t be overlooked but yours can?” Luhan questioned. I winced because I knew he just dug himself a new grave.

“What hell is that supposed to mean?” Kai demanded, grabbing him by the collar.

“Just that you use girls like they’re toys, you chew them up and spit them back out. You’re in the tabloids for underage drinking and excessive partying. You’re a horrible person and you make people feel worthless,” Luhan lectured. “Including Kim Nara. All I have tailing behind me are rumours that I murdered my family. I was proven innocent. How the hell am I worse for her than you are? I make her happy whereas you make her cry. Explain that, Kim Jongin.”

No one saw the punch coming.

Luhan fell to the ground from the sheer force. Gasps sounded through the dorms and people raced over to see what was happening. There was now a crowd watching on. Kai picked Luhan up and struck him with another fist.

“Kai!” I yelled, struggling harder against Jongdae. “Kai, stop it! Calm down!” I elbowed Jongdae in the gut, making him release me. I darted towards Kai and grabbed his fist before he could hit Luhan again. I yanked him back. “Kai, stop!”

“Get her off me,” he muttered gruffly and Baekhyun stepped forth.

“Don’t touch me!” I hissed, stepping back. Kai got to his feet and turned to me. “Kai, what are you doing?” My voice sounded tired to my own ears. And I was tired — I was exhausted of all the arguing and the fighting and the tension. I just wanted to go back to a time where things were simpler, we all got along and Chanyeol was the Happy Virus of the group.

But that time was long gone.

“Seriously, what are you doing?” I asked, breathing heavily as I stared at him. “You’re not a fighter, Kai. You don’t pull stunts like this…why now?”

“He’s annoying,” he answered plainly, wiping his upper lip. “He thinks he can take you away from us. He thinks he can talk as if he knows you better than we do but he’s wrong.”

“No one could take me away from you,” I groaned, rubbing my face tiredly. “Don’t you get it, Kai? Don’t any of you get it? I love you! I love all of you, I couldn’t leave you if I tried. But Luhan is important to me and I wish you’d respect me enough to at least try to accept him!”

“We don’t like him,” Baekhyun hissed. “He’s not right for you.”

“That’s not for you to decide,” I sighed. “Oppa…I’m sorry that it’s not you that I like.” My eyes slid to Kai. “And I’m sorry it’s not you either…even if I’m not sure you even like me.”

“Like you?” he snorted. “Of course I like you, Chipmunk! Like is the understatement of the century. I don’t want you to replace us with someone else, okay? I’m sorry I’m a jerk and I’m sorry I make you want to cry. But I’m selfish and I’m in love with you and I don’t want you to like anyone other than myself.”

My eyes widened and I stood, breathless. “Jongin-ah…”

“I’m sorry I’m not Chanyeol,” he said bitterly, his eyes red. “I’m sorry I’m not Chanyeol and I can’t make you smile like he did. I’m sorry I can’t make you laugh like he did and make you feel whole like he did. I’m sorry I’m not as close to you as Baekhyun and I know as much about you as he does. I’m sorry I met you too late to be your first love.”

“Jongin-ah,” I whispered, because nothing else would come out.

His eyes hardened, “But I refuse to accept Luhan. Chanyeol hyung was your first love and I understand that. Hell, even Baekhyun hyung understands that and he’s been in love with you longer than I have. But this guy!?” He glanced at Luhan. “This guy doesn’t know you like we do. He doesn't know that you’re afraid of dogs, big or small, even the tiny puppies. He doesn’t know that you have an irrational obsession with heart-shaped tofu. He doesn't know you have a scar on your left thigh because when you were 14, Chen hyung dared you to climb to the top of the tree and Sehun and I failed to catch you when you slipped.”

“He doesn’t know you like we do,” he croaked helplessly. “Why do you like him, Kim Nara? What is it about him?”

His question took me back and I choked up. It reminded me too much of the day Baekhyun asked me exactly what about Chanyeol, the same day he kissed me and Chanyeol caught us. 

The day we broke Park Chanyeol’s heart.

“Would you look at all this drama?” a new voice quipped, dripping arrogance. Kyuhyun walked out from the crowd, four other guys standing behind him. They looked like his entourage or his back up, I wasn’t quite sure which. “What, have you all finally realised the scum Lu Han sunbaenim is?”

“Shut up,” I snapped. “Didn’t I already warn you?”

He shot me a glare then avoided answering me, “But I see it’s a littl