15

I sighed in relief then quickly recollected myself, “Oh, darn! Guess I have to go get the door.”

“Ani, stay here so I can keep beating your ,” Sehun smirked, vigorously hitting the moves.

“Yah, stop trying so hard!” I barked, glowering at him. “It’s just a game, sheesh! You’re taking this way too seriously.” The others laughed and I shot them each glares.

“Not so funny when you’re the loser, huh?” Jongdae teased. I lobbed my remote at him and he yelped, leaping into Junmyeon’s lap to escape my wrath. Junmyeon made a surprised sound and Jongdae screamed in a high-pitched voice, scrambling out of his roommate’s lap. “Ew! Ew, ew, ew, ew!” He slapped himself then started frantically wiping himself.

I sniggered and blew him a kiss when he scowled at me. I walked over to the door and opened it. Luhan stood before me, a bag of disney movies in one hand and a bag of drinks and snacks in the other. 

I beamed at him, “Sunbae! You came.” I looked over my shoulder and saw the others were peering curiously at me. They couldn’t see Luhan from where they were sitting. I looked back at the blonde, doe-eyed male. “About our movie night…change of plans. Just slightly.”

“Oh, okay,” he mumbled, his brows furrowing. “What do you want to do then? I can come back another day.”

“Ani, it’s fine,” I assured him, stepping back. “It’s my friend’s birthday and we’re just playing Just Dance. Join us.” I grabbed his hand and tugged him inside. His eyes widened when he saw the others, and the others all stared at him in shock.

Jongdae was the first one to snap out of it.

“What the — YAH, KIM NARA!” he screamed, “Are you insane!? You invited some stranger to my party!? THAT’S WORSE THAN INVITING BORING SUHO!”

“Kim Jongdae!” I barked, appalled at how easily those words left his lips, especially when Junmyeon was sitting right next to him. “What the hell is wrong with you? Suho-ssi, forgive him, he’s just—”

“It’s fine, it’s fine,” Junmyeon insisted, a forced smile on his face. I tried to smile back but failed when I saw the fire in Kai’s eyes. He slowly stood up and stalked over to us. I stood in front of Luhan, just in case Kai intended to do something to him. 

“Jongin-ah,” I started.

“You shut up,” he snapped, stopping in front of me. “I told you to stay away from him. Do you ever ing listen!?”

“He’s my friend, Kai,” I replied. “You might think of him as a potential threat or danger but he’s not. He treats me well, he’s never said or done anything to make me think he’s anything other than nice. And that’s a whole lot more than I can say about you.”

“Now you’re comparing us?” he scoffed, shooting Luhan a scalding glare. “You’ve known him for how long? We practically grew up together and you’re choosing him over us? Is that what this is?”

“What the— Kai, why are you blowing this out of proportion?” I asked incredulously. “What, you can have other friends and god knows how many flings with girls but I can’t talk to someone outside of our group?”

“Yes!” he snapped. I gaped at him, at a loss of words.

“Kai-ssi, maybe you should take a step back and take some deep breaths,” Lay suggested, trying to defuse the tension. Kai whipped around to sneer at him.

“Maybe you should shut the up and mind your own damn business,” he hissed. “Who the even are you? You’re irrelevant.” He turned back to face me.

“Kai!” I gasped.

“What the , Kai?” Baekhyun blurted. “That’s not cool, man. Lay didn’t do anything to you and he’s older than you, show some ing respect.”

“ you, Baekhyun,” Kai snorted. “You’re the one who’s in love with her and you can’t even see what’s right for her.”

“Being in love with her doesn’t mean trying to control every aspect of her life,” Baekhyun shot back. “And at least I can admit to it. You’re just hiding your true feelings behind some pathetic, , cool-guy façade. Guess what, buddy? We can all see through it!”

“What the is that supposed to mean?”

Jongdae let out a loud: “STOP FIGHTING, IT’S MY BIRTHDAY!”

“This is awkward,” Kyungsoo muttered to Lay.

“We’re not fighting, we’re having a heated discussion,” I bit out before forcing myself to take deep breaths, my eyes closed. I eventually reopened them and looked at Kai. “Let’s not argue. You don’t approve of my friendship with Luhan,” he scoffed, “and I don’t care.” His face went red with anger. “You have to accept that I can make my own decisions.”

“Jesus Christ, when did you get so ing stupid!?” he cried, making me flinch.

“Stop. Being. AN !” I screamed, and a silence fell across the room. Luhan shifted uncomfortably behind me, Kyungsoo and Lay exchanged nervous glances and Jongdae’s eyes grew to the size of large marbles. Kris awkwardly sipped on coke, Baekhyun’s eyes danced between me and Kai, and Sehun remained impassive.

“Did you just…” Kai furrowed his brows. “Did you just swear…at me?” I’d only sworn twice in my entire life. The first time was when Chanyeol had revealed that he was marrying Krystal.

“I’m so sick of you treating me like dirt and me just taking it!” I bellowed, my anger b and then overflowing. “I’m sick of you thinking you can just walk all over me, then act as if everything’s okay because you flash me a smile now and again. You can’t just swear at me and shout at me and just belittle me every chance you get, and get away with it, Kai!”

“We’re supposed to be friends but you just treat me like I’m dirt on the sole of your shoe!” I continued, my eyes stinging as tears started to form. I was one of those people that cried when they were angry. I hated it, it made me feel weak. “You make me feel so…so…insignificant sometimes and I tell myself I’m okay with it, that it’s forgivable because you have a tough time with your dad. But that shouldn’t justify your cruelty. Now, I realise that.”

“N-Nara-ya…” he mumbled, concern flashing in his eyes. He looked genuinely worried and thrown back. “I’m…I only kid, I don’t mean to…”

“That’s not good enough anymore, Kai,” I whispered, staring at him with tearful eyes. I then laughed emptily, “You know what’s worse? You never even apologise for your mistakes. You never apologise for being mean to me. You never apologise for ridiculing Chen oppa or insulting the others or throwing girls aside like dirty laundry. You write it all off as ‘a joke’. But the joke isn’t funny anymore, Kai. To be honest, I don’t think it ever was.”

“Nara-ya, I’m—”

“Thanks for having me, oppa,” I said to Kris, cutting Kai off. I looked at Jongdae. “Happy birthday, Chen oppa. I’m sorry for ruining your party. I’m sorry to everyone else for creating a tense atmosphere. I’ll be leaving now.”

“Kim Nara,” Baekhyun started, walking towards me. I stepped back.

“Don’t,” I said, “I need some time away from…all this.” I turned around but Kai grasped my hand, rather than my wrist, before I could walk away. “Let go of me, Jongin.”

“Don’t…don’t say my name like that,” he murmured and I lifted my eyes up to meet his. He was scared. “Not you….Nara…I’m sorry. I didn’t— I never— just…I’m sorry. Please don’t go.” My resistance was wavering but before I could let go so easily, I pried my hand out of his.

“Don’t bother now,” I spat, looking him up and down. “Too little too late, Kai.” I didn’t use his real name again, I couldn’t stoop so low. I didn’t want to hurt him, I just wanted him to understand where I was coming from. I looked at Luhan. “Sunbae, please walk me home.”

“E-eung,” Luhan agreed. I linked arms with him and we left the apartment. Pleas and apologies followed us all the way out, and not all from Kai, but I ignored them. I left the vicinity with Luhan, walking in a painful silence.

It wasn’t until we reached the park nearby that the silence was broken. We sat down on the nearest bench and I stared at my hands in my lap.

Luhan looked at me, “You…you can cry if you want to.” I snorted an empty laugh and shook my head. It was true, I felt like crying but that didn’t mean I would. Not yet, at least. The fight with Kai still felt a little…surreal. “Are you okay?”

“Dandy,” I muttered sarcastically. I then looked at him. “Are you okay? I’m sorry I lied to yo