HOYA POV

My hand is seriously addicted to his skin

I reach out to do one thing and yet it slips to another 

I wanted him to feel better but here I am caressing that soft face.. 

His tears are falling like being pushed from a cliff

And I know he tried hard to keep them from the silence that fills in

He cries silently 

And it's too much to see him avert his eyes.. Close them and open them.. Shake his head

And still it fall against him

As if he gave it all up

His eyes close again 

Titling his head to bury it inside my palm

And I'm glad his eyes were shut 

I drew breathe in and I felt his lips pressing a kiss inside the palm of my hand

A shiver sent through my whole body 

I never thought I can be weakened by such innocent behavior 

There's a limp in my throat 

I swallow the air in .. Ever since I slowly letting him in.. Everything that he does either tease or .. And as much as I keep saying that's it's nothing.. It's normal.. Let it go Howon.. I keep finding him doing much more

And for a second my heavy mind had this crazy thoughts 

Does he like my attention since It's been a forever that I treat him as human being 

Or does he simply want this the same way I do ..?

My lips were dry and another: “Myungsoo,” slips my tongue barely there.

But it was enough for him to open his eyes and look at me

I lost it

My hand reach to his neck and pull him closer

I must have taken him aback because he stumble and drew nearer both hands landed on each side of me

I have to lift my head upwards to meet Myungsoo perfect nose

And as I said

I grow much addicted

And with time

I learn how to lose control in a way that scares me more than whatever innocent crushing feelings I had for him back then

I was not thinking.. My brain is the size of a popcorn right now.. One burnt pop corn.. On fire 

My head was screaming “Myungsoo … Myungsoo” and I didn't know I was whispering his name over and over 

I kiss that pointy nose 

And he let a voice Uhhh 

My fingers grazed in the back of his hair 

God how much I wanted to do that.. To let my fingers wander inside those strands..

The room was filled with silence and two raged breath

The door was not locked and anyone can simply walked in

I start to panic

Hoya: I had to be the sane one after being the devil, “mm...mmmyunn..myung.. Maybe some .. One... Walks,” voice trail off.

I know it I'm a hypocrite 

One chickened hypocrite 

I don't want to be pull out of this 

And yet I'm panicking of what I'm putting him into 

And Myungsoo is still in frozen phase

His head suddenly nuzzle in my neck ignoring what I just said 

Hoya: “Myunnngg ..,” my hand is now his hair, and he shake his head still buried in my skin

L: His voice muffled against my skin, “I don't care..!!”

My head went blank.. My eyes were shot.. And I made an nnnnhg sound

I felt I've been attacked 

His head was heavy and it soon push me to lay on my back.. My hand is still stuck in his hair and I kept letting another Myungsoo whisper..his body was pressed on me.. And I can feel his heartbeat through mine 

His lips were caressing the skin of my neck.. Just making trail of goosebumps.. I bite my lower lip harshly .. Eyes still shut 

It was hot

His breathing was hot against my flesh 

The glimpse of how soft those lips on my skin is making me ache in good way

I can feel him burn

His beats were as crazy as I am 

And I hiss all sudden the word: “k myung,” trail off my mouth.

I didn't think that I was a beggar .. But I felt as begging him for more

And as soon I curse

His lips were attached on my skin.. Starting soft kisses but nothing like those he did before..

These were much stronger

And it soon turn into and I moan 

I shift under him and he let a strangled moan

Muttering Howon against the flushed skin 

Just like what Myungsoo always do.. He seem hesitant till he gain strength and surprise you

His kissing turn to then to bites that made me go insane.. Tracing a line from my jawline to my neck and shoulders blades

And I shamefully moan .. Both hands now in his hair 

And as if my moan made him much more confident he starting kissing my earlobe 

And I flushed even more like a hot mess.. One of my hand release the pile of golden hair and cover my mouth instead

I'm aware of my own voice breaking those pleasurable sounds

We barely hear the knob twisting.. My hands were now on his chest to try pushing him away

But it was already too late 

My face was burnt.. his breath was a mess.. I made him in almost standing positing but he was still in between my legs.. And my both hands on his chest firmly still holding him from collapsing again

That's when I look at his face

His lips were swollen and I felt like pulling him in again

Dongwoo coughing hard: “look guys I don't mind this but you might cover up a bit...,” Making scared face “Yeol is looking for him ..,” We didn't move still trying to catch our raged breathe “The Hoya anyone can hear you from the living room”

And we still trying to ing catch a breath.. My hands start sweating 

Dongwoo locking door: “Fuuccking seeepeeeeraaateee!!!”

He made I'm serious face and I was about to burst in laughs but then my eyes notice Myung's

He took back couple of steps backwards.. His eyes were wide and locked in the floor again

I bite my lip knowing damn well that he was confused to the point he start averting his eyes through the objects in the room not wanting to look anywhere near me

Just when I thought that letting him in wasn't such a bad idea after all.. Just when the hope I built in for so long is trying to prove how it will all workout at the end

I felt as I was slapped 

And most of all

I felt disgusted by myself 

Hoya: Turning to face frown Dongwoo, “It was nothing we were only..,” Myung shivers.

Dongwoo interrupting: “I don't need an explanation.. Just you need to go Myungsoo before this gets too much to cover up”

Dongwoo was calm.. and I wish I tell him there's no this situation.. That's it's already been erased as soon I saw that look

It pained me .. To the point I couldn't look at him judging me like that.. I felt too small.. It was worse than my dad down looking at me for choosing this idol life !!

It was worse than all the names I heard from him ..!

He turn and carry the things he came for.. His face was buried with the sheets and he didn't even look anywhere but the door.. Dongwoo was eyeing him but smiling at him too 

I heard the door slammed 

Dongwoo jumping next to me: “So he likes you ??,” his voice was filled with amusement while

I was this close to cry.. The limp inside my throat was hard to make me talk but I was surprised to the point I had to ask: “Wwwhhhattt ...? What you /sniff/ meaann..,” shaking my head, eyes getting blurry, “There's nooo…”

Dongwoo wrap his arm around my head and I break in tears

I want to explain to him

So I kept saying blurry stuff

While crying and he rub my back gently 

I got silent.. No more blabbing stuff to say.. No more tears to fall but I still wanted to be wrapped in him

Then his voice break: “I know you, idiot.. I always knew anyway”

Nuzzling my head, not wanting to see his eyes now

Hoya: “Hoow”

Dongwoo: “You always ask when he gets into hard times.. You always look when no one is looking.. You don't want him near .. So I figure it out.. There's No way you will act like a jerk with no reason,” he pause and sigh “but you are a jerk”

I nod

 Dongwoo: “You didn't trust me enough to tell me”

And I thought I'm done but I wasn't.. Tears were building in again

Hoya: “I can't say it out loud,” voice breaking “Maybe at some point it all go away”

Dongwoo: “Stupid”

Hoyaa tear falling again: “Maybe he won't be right after all...!”

L POV

I crash on bed and start to curse.. I cover my swollen lips and close my eyes 

I taste his flesh with my own teeth

I let out a growl while heat start building 

I'm beyond hating myself right now

What have I dooonee

I can barely face him anyway.. How would I face him after this !!!

My eyes start getting teary imagining what his mind is thinking of me right now

Myungsoo what were you doing ..!!

It took me three hours to adjust the ideas on my head.. I took a shower and the damn water is hurting my eyes so I start crying.. I look at my reflection in the bathroom mirror

And it sicken me more 

That flushed face recalling every thing I did.. Everything he did.. How he felt against me.. Those moans...

And the fact he didn't push me once

It all made me flush even more

and I look at my face

And I wanted to scratch that skin 

I felt like hurting myself 

Maybe it will make me feel better.. !!

 I walk outside to find Yeol looking at my eyes.. His face was about to say something but he didn't 

I switch light off and crawl to my bed

I sink in 

Yeol crawl back to his: “..Myunggsooo ..?”

I made a hmm and he go on: “I think I,” He pause “I think I went a bit out of line”

L: “/cold/ you think ??”

Yeol making an Ugh sound: “Fine fine !!! I was .. And I get it that you are pissed off.. So I'm ..,” now stuttering “Ss..Soorryy okie ??”

L: “/cold/ okie”

Yeol: “/calm/ so can I sleep next to you ?”

L smirking: “Not that ok idiot !!”

We laugh for a seconds and this felt fine.. Being back to where things are simple.. Calm.. And familiar 

Yeol scent is fine 

It feels more like home 

It never made me out of mind

Hoya POV

I held the clutches near 3 am.. And went outside.. As soon I step outside and close the door of my room  

L: “Watttterrr??”

Ok I shiver

And he saw that.. Not to mention the clicking sound of my clutch on the solid ceramic 

He smirk

Oh wow someone in good mood

I walk to him clearly pissed but took the bottle anyway and downed some water.. His eyes were on me that I felt heated again

And I felt like punching him..

Hoya: Wiping what slipped from my mouth, “So your part-time job is delivering water”

He shrug adding: “For anyone that are incapable to get his own”

Ok I wasn't imagining stuff.. His voice definitely had some amusement and it was really hot and teasing that I felt like pulling him, kissing him and then punching the hell out of him..! 

Hoya: “Do you want me to kick you with my clutches”

He laugh

My breath is caught again in my throat

Every damn seconds with him is either hot or cold 

And me 

But I'm more into him, more than freaking before 

His voice suddenly went serious upon my silence: “My bed is fine”

Hoya ignoring the shiver from his voice talking in the dark again: “But you missed the sofa ..?”

He shake his head looking at the attractive floor and then straight to me: “No it's .. Because of you..!”

I heard him wrong right ?? Is he really saying that I can't let him sleep !!

L biting his lower lip harshly and damn me that start looking at his lips all of sudden: “No matter how I want to ..,” Takes a breathe “…to act as if it's…,” breathing “…nothing..,” I sense a limp “I ... Hyung I”

His eyes were searching mine for answers: “I don't know why I”

I turn away

He's seriously not giving me this kind of talks.. My voice suddenly interrupts his as I don't want to hear his excuse: “Do you go on saying that to all freaking men ??” My voice was harsh

Ok I was sore.. I was in weak spot but the look afterwards I got from him, made me feeling like begging to take it back ..!

His features just fall and he stand up.. His stare is beyond frozen and I felt I'm gonna cry again: “You are an ” (this shiver can make me cry)

He walk out of scene and I felt like crumbling.. The way he look at me was too much worse than his confused face

I try to breathe but I felt suffocated..

And my body refuse to move.. I stayed there pulling my hair and muttering ughs while my eyes water 

I did not just accuse him of making out with other men 

And only the thought make me hiss and I stare at nothing but darkness 

Wishing I can fade..

Fade to black.. !

I hate you so much, I hate you because I love you

Innocent tears and a bruised heart

I am hurt and hurting..!

I erase it all, I erase it because I might die..,

Because I’m hurt to the point where I can’t take it anymore

Because I might again love you, who is still in my heart

——

It’s so dark to the point where I can’t see the end

It’s so deep I think there’s still a long way to go

I’m finally leaving on this sailboat called lingering attachments

The wind is cold 

I look around but there’s not a single light

(Eru- Hate you)

****

SOME ACTIONS HUH

OMMMAAAAAA

SORRY FOR THE MELO AT THE END THOU

wait for the update of these two ^^