“HOYA POV”

Reality is not so perfect believe me 

I know .. I know it has been couple of days mostly spent in paradise

This place is a paradise only if you’re here

A paradise that has locked you in against your will

A sad paradise that you won’t go if you’re awake

A paradise that we can be together forever

[Infinite-Paradise]

Ok sorry I have to promote us as much as possible ..So yeah 

It's not that great anymore. It's been days like what it calls post-traumatic effect and it stings like a

I keep yearning … Shamelessly 

With wrinkled eyebrows and bleeding heart /and obviously drama/ I'm lying on my back 

Sweaty .. Barely breathing … And heart that sure want to be ripped off …

Sighing And muttering: “Kiiiiimmmmm,” Trying catch another breath before I faint of lack of air, “Myuuuuuungggggsoooooo”

And with that I gripped on my heart

It's been a week and I was ignoring saying it aloud 

Saying his name

Makes me miss him more

Dongwoo collapsing near me: “Oh for the love of god..,” Nudging my ribs, “Knock this Myung drama off.. (Breathing) it's been days nowwwww” Whining the last word faking tears

Let me make sense .. So that's how it is from the start 

I thought I was passed all that drama yearning thing as long we agree I got Hoya time once a day…

That didn't work fine, See we are not really dating.

No I refuse to say that term /sweating already/

Whatever we had is not restricted to us .. It’s more to what we have scheduled 

That the thing about idol life.. You own nothing.. However … You are owned 

So we had a whole week in tour… As much we were busy we exchange glances  … Precious ones when no one paid attention

He would gaze in the mirror toward my eyes while Nona is fixing his hair then try not to lose his features in the process 

Those are the moment that I feel I want to crawl in a corner and hide .. He's too adorable to ignore 

I try not to drool after each make-up session fixed 

I try not to look whenever he remove that jacket 

I try not to make any restrained voices squeals or any fangirling voices 

I try to ignore him as much as possible 

But like damn little spoiled kitten he go away and suddenly come back searching like literally searching for me 

I hide

I really do .. My highlight in that week was not those moments though

My highlight was this.. I'm sharing this with you because you probably want to know and because I'm a celeb and you love me 

(Hoya flashback)

-Highlight one 

It's Myung solo day

I look at his smiley excited face all day.. Jumping while talking to Yeol and then laughing covering his mouth then Gyu came and told him some leader encouraging words

I know he got this

But I felt like I should do something 

My fingers start trembling while sending this 

From Hoya to Myungie:

 /we are NOT dating/

Fighty..

See that's not awkward right 

His face beams at the screen and I try to look away when his eyes search mine

But I get soaked in those black orbs anyway

And his smile is ing disease 

I got infected 

Don't ask why I'm smiling like an idiot 

While Dongwoo shaking his head while passing through me muttering: “Helpless”

Well maybe I am 

Maybe there's no maybe in that sentence 

He went on to perform 

It's that ridiculous hot blonde hair totally that makes me gawk at him performing, then that ridiculous chill while seeing him playing that guitar, I'm probably empathic with all those fangirls that see this creature laughs plays and sings passionately 

That voice that send chill through all my ing cell, I'm sweating and I barely moved all day .. He was glowing .. He played with Yeol on stage and he just looked like the cutest kid ever

After delivering that charming manly performance that depend on his hoarse voice and those perfect fingers playing the strings of his guitar 

That moment when I'm jelly of a damn guitar 

That moment when I try not to think of those beautiful fingers 

I can feel it while I stare at him in the dark 

I can see how this makes him on cloud nine 

He wasn't L now… L was that flower boy that charmed everyone with his voice and guitar playing .. This one that thank them and wave while his eyes disappear and dimples everywhere 

This is kim Myungsoo … Happy excited Myungsoo .. And I felt like I want to pat him for doing great job .. He turns and start leaving the stage and his eyes fall in the shadow figure in front of him

The eyes of kim Myungsoo .. Were suddenly clouded … Sharp  … Intense  .. I forget to catch a breath .. Hell .. I was there stoned 

His hand suddenly held mine and pulled me after him

His grip was not gentle .. He start walking fast forgetting my damn leg situation  .. His eyes searching 

I felt my heart will explode any moment … His other hand land on the nearest door .. That wasn't our breakout room though … He wasn't even hesitating … He drive me inside … There wasn't even a light  … And the door shut behind 

I felt two hands resting on my shoulder pushing me slightly to rest my back on the door

I was not breathing … What was breathing … I felt warmth … I felt his breath on the skin of my cheeks … On my nose … Maybe because there was no light … I suddenly didn't care anymore 

My hands pulled him from the waist till there was him against me … Solid … Nothing separating us

He let a y breathless "Hyuuunggg" against that sensitive skin behind my earlobe

this Hyung was losing it 

I swallow 

Not knowing that I was granting him more access to the skin of my neck by arching my head away … He chuckles against my ear … And I shivers 

His lips kissed behind my ear and I try not to sound pathetic 

I bite my lip not allowing any sound out 

Myung: Hooowoon

Ok seriously I'm out of here.. He uses that damn voice on me in situation like this I might just wet my pants from the vibration on its own 

ing y

I groans 

And he let another chuckle and start kissing the skin slowly gently that I felt like exploding 

I wanted ing more than gentle … It's been days … My hand betrays me and just grip on his hair …

And he whined against my temple: “Nona will be pissed if you ruin that”

How can he be this cold 

I felt that smirk and I want to push him away 

I'm not in mood for playing around 

I'm yearning for him 

And he's enjoying this

I'm lost in my thought I haven't heard another word he said … that might set him off

His hands rested on the door pinning me fully while he leaned forward and even if I barely hear him 

I know what he's up to 

His lips were crashing mine he was in a hurry no time to tease

He nibble my lower lip and slide his tongue I'm tasting him again ..

I moan thinking all those fan out there have no idea he was doing this now after singing for them … That after the end of the day … He's here with me … For me … And by the intensity of this kiss … I'm well aware now … He yearn me 

I start taking control of that kiss I won't let him get away with this

My hands were now reaching again to his waist playing with that damn white dress shirt he wears

I hate white on him

I hate white and blonde combination on him 

My tongue is fighting his and I slide it into his mouth now 

He moaned titling his head 

I felt like smirking for victory 

Tasting every bits of Myungsoo

All of it for me 

My playful hands were now pulling on that white shirt wanting to free some skin and he chuckles breaking the kiss while muttering: “You really want to piss Nona”

My forehead rest on his while I nod breathless

His hands were caressing my jaw cupping my face 

And I felt like sinking into them 

He muttered: “Hoya”

And god it felt good to listen to his voice in the dark 

He belongs to creepy stuff scenes I'm telling you 

But he's like the iest freak out there 

When I didn't or forget to respond to that 

He kissed my nose while still cupping my face: “Here we go again (smiling) I know you won't say a thing ,” another nose kissing and I know I'm losing everything to him now.

He chuckles again 

And I reach to his cheek kissing his dimple with no words he started letting another chuckle and I felt like just stealing it with me 

That perfect dip in his damn perfect face

When I start caressing his face more than once the laugh stops

Muttering against that dimple I said: “I bet they are running a squad team to find us right now”

He pulls away instantly 

And letting and and shiiiiit 

I laugh

Myung almost whined: “I don't want to go out”

He sounds like scared little kitty and I bite my lip saying: “This is all on you”

I think I'm accustomed to the dark 

Because I can swear his eyes were wide now 

He pouted muttering: “You sent that damn text”

I gasped : “Ohhh really ?? What did I write in there,” pulling my phone dramatically and watching the message then muttering, “Yeeh I told you to meet me in the nearest gods know where room so we can make out”

I don't know why I was blushing but now I can see his face after the phone light 

And damn it I want to shove my phone back inside 

He shrugged not looking at me with a barely there voice: “Fine I wanted you”

Is it possible to hear your beats drumming in your ing brain 

He shakes his head as soon those words are out 

And I felt like shaking mine 

His hand rest on the door knob and twist it to cast the light on his face

Then he suddenly smirk saying: “I will just say you kidnapped me,” my eyes widen at his silly amused face while he continue, “who will believe you anyway??”

And with that he ing left 

-End of Hoya flashback 

I winced after rethinking of that day.. And let another whine: “Kim Myungsoo”

Dongwoo just roll on top of me faking punches while shouting: “Knock it off or I call him”

I was laughing then I suddenly stiffen shaking my head in a serious No 

Dongwoo gasped: “You don't talk !!!!”

I bite my lower lip

Dongwoo holding my shirt: “The howon !!! Why ??”

I look away while saying: “Because”

He's waiting for explanation while I stop there 

He frowned saying: “ing coward”

And he starts walking away 

I following him: “Why whyyy I'm the coward”

He stops and turns throwing his hands in the air: “Well I don't know because you make him into bubble of awkwardness by.. (Shrugging) … building damn walls”

Ok I know he was right but I still didn't like that tone 

Dongwoo sighed: “Do you know how easy that kid to talk to”

I know.. I know

I know him damn well 

I know that this was all on me 

On my insecure self and he's right I'm awkward

I shrug and he walks away

----

I've taken the splint after that week of touring so I start treatment and appointment, which made it harder on us to have time alone 

But then my second highlight came which were like hope glimpse

(Hoya flashback)

-Hoya pathetic Highlight two

I was suddenly called to CEO office after having some practice in the physical therapy sessions

I walk the walls sweating one thought in mind I'm busted

Then laughing because that's not possible 

When I got in I saw blonde head and I let a : “Shiiiiitttt”

Jung Yeop wrinkle his eyebrows: “What is it Hoya ??”

My eyes were searching his for some threats some declaration that he knows.. that ing traitor Myung looking at me with dimple smile 

Wait what

He's smiling 

I look again at Jungie face he looks tired after a second look he rubbed his eyebrows and let sigh: “Just take a seat”

I try not to smile 

I'm facing a kitten 

Stop smiling I'm gonna throw pillow on you 

Ignoring whatever was being said then 

Jung yeop: “Hooooyaaaaa” /snapping/

Ok if he don't know I will probably tell him myself jeez Howon restrain 

I nod 

Why nod 

who cares 

He shake his head: “You look better .. Your leg seem to get better,” now it's nodding time, “Who ate your tongue ??”

I was gonna say him pointing at innocent Myung but I laugh scratching my neck

Jung Yeop: “Relax I'm not delivering bad news,” thank god he's reassuring the crazy nervous idiot, “you know about Myungsoo drama right”

Hoya: “Ahh yeeeahh,” trying not to twist the word saying I'm the drama one

Myung is laughing wtf is wrong with him I'm trying to be serious 

Jung Yeop: “They offer another role now and it's for you (shrugging) you want in ? I know your leg is not fully”

cutting him off with loud: “Yeeeess”

Myung laughs 

And I blush 

He seems to taken a back thinking then nodding: “Ok then I will continue the procedures now take both your asses out”

I was glad to

I haven't seen him all day but I walk away from office leaving a kitten following me behind then he chuckles saying: “Easy on that leg I'm not eating you”

I was gonna say you will and no one will believe me even after death 

So I start slow walking and he pick the pace walking beside me not saying anything

Footsteps

Footsteps

Footsteps

Pressing elevator 

Waiting 

Sweating

Getting in 

He's standing near as if the elevator is crowded ( only us)

Footsteps

His hand brushes mine

I froze

Glance at him 

But he continues walking 

So what was that 

Totally by ing mistake !!!

I shake my head thinking who will believe me anyway we got to the dorm

He's still following me 

I twist the door knob of my room thinking it's his last destination 

Got in … then .. Hands wrapping on my waist and head nuzzling my neck then voice breaks and mutter: “I promise I will be better than In Guk”

With that I break into laughter while he pulls away leaving the room with chuckles 

God how long did he wait to just say those words 

I shake my head to see Dongwoo clapping getting obviously out of shower: “Bravo well done boys,” then throwing his hands on air, “Who's dating again ??”

I roll my eyes: “WE ARE NOT !”

And he nod dramatically 

-end of pathetic highlight 

I thought now that the drama schedule is planned we will not suffer but it happens that he need to go promote in his own with Yeol ok I mean infinite F in Japan and it's been another week 

So that's why I'm there rehearsing dancing my heart out and collapsing and for the first time in a week I admit it by saying it aloud whining : “Kiiiiimmmm myuuungsoooooooo”

And then Dongwoo push my weary body into the bathroom with you smell bad face and muttering: “I knoooow I knowwww he will be here soon”

And I made a crying face 

And his hand made I want to slap you get in gesture 

And literally close the door leaving me smelling bad alone in the bathroom and I let another: “Kimm Myungsoo” (whine)

And the lights went off 

Dongwoo shut them off ..,

My reflection in the mirror

Is so empty, as if there’s nothing there

After waking up from the dream that was you

This morning of reality feels so empty

As I face the morning, I realize once again

What wakes me up is not you but an alarm bell

Why is this damn bed so big?

In my vast desert of a heart, only a cold wind blows

I’m an empty shell, a coward without you

(Winner- Empty)

****

so lets start with KIIIIIIMMM MYUUUUUNGGGSOOOOOOO /whine/

caption freaking 3: Myungiiie with damn guitar T.T

and now its HOOOYAAAA TIIIIIMEEEE  /not that kind of hoya time chill/

adorable awkward nervous howoooon *^*

that seo in guk comment XDD i had to post something here bcuz of it 

and MYUNGYAA FIIGHTYYY..

SEEYAA..~