Chapter | 4
Illusion of an Insecure HeartThe three of them stood in absolute silence. Yuna was analyzing the situation seriously or at least she tried to, because it was so hard to focus when her heart wouldn’t stop pounding wildly by the mere fact of knowing that Chanyeol was here with her. Part of her wanted to dance with joy and jump on him to show him how much she had missed him while the other part wanted to hide from him and forget this ever happened. And the fact that Baekhyun were in the middle of all this mess made everything worse, and she saw herself enveloped in a sea of doubts and fears. The girl didn’t know what to do to end with the tension that was in the air nor did she know how to react to the confessions the boys had admitted seconds ago. Both of them were determined to win her heart and Yuna didn’t know how to feel about it. She knew she would have to choose one of them sooner or later, but now at this very moment the girl couldn’t give them a definitive answer. She had been so sure she was going to stay with Baekhyun after everything that had happened between them, but Chanyeol’s appearance changed everything, because she saw with her own eyes how much he had suffered without her, it was only necessary to see his eyes to realize the pain he was carrying since then and she didn’t know if she had the heart to reject him once again after seeing him in such state. Heck! She was no longer sure of anything. But she had to do something, because the way in which those two looked at each other was scary, she sensed that they were going to explode at any minute and if that happened she wouldn’t be able to separate them.
“Chanyeol, just…go please.” The girl finally said averting her eyes. She couldn’t look him in the eye knowing that if she did her determination would fade.
Baekhyun smirked triumphantly while the tall boy looked at his ex-girlfriend instantly with a puzzled look. It hurt him that she were pushing him away from her life without even hearing what he had to say, because he had so much to say and didn’t want to leave without conveying his feelings.
“I'm not going until you hear me out, Yuna.” He said determinedly, ignoring the murderous look of the other guy. “Just give me a chance.” He implored.
The girl stepped away from her boyfriend – since he was still in front of her protectively – and advanced to be face to face with her former boyfriend. She lifted her head to look into his eyes and what she saw left her speechless. Chanyeol was staring at her with so much pain, with so much love that made her want to cry all over again. She felt the love he had for her, but didn’t want to admit it because if she did she would give in to him, and the girl couldn’t allow it. She could no longer succumb to him. She couldn’t leave just like that the man who practically brought her back to life. She just couldn’t leave Baekhyun.
“Chanyeol, please go. There is nothing you can say to make me change my mind. I’m with Baekhyun now.” Sge said trying to look strong when on the inside she was crying in pain, it hurt her to leave him a second time.
The guy – without being able to endure any longer – put his hands on her shoulders and bent down to be at the same eye level. “Don’t do this Yuna. You still love me, I can tell by your eyes. So please, don’t do this anymore.” He whispered very close to her face.
“Stay away from her.” Baekhyun ordered upon seeing the close proximity between them. “Now.” He said in a dangerous voice. He was about to lose his patience.
Chanyeol ignored him – once again – and focused all his attention on Yuna, who looked at him pleadingly. Her mind was telling her to reject him with more determination but her heart was telling her otherwise, to not let him go ever again. She was a mess, she was caught between the man she had always loved and the man who offered her a whole bright future ahead.
“Please, Yuna…I love you more than I ever thought. The truth is that all this time I took your love for granted and it never crossed my mind that someday you would leave me. I thought you loved me so much that you were going to bear all my faults no matter how frequent they were. I thought you needed me so much in your life that you would never dare to leave me and that was good for me because I could continue satisfying my desires without the risk of losing you, but I was so wrong, Yuna. You showed me that you're the person I love the most in this world and I can’t live without you. You showed me that I can change to become a better person and there is no one who can satisfy me the way you do. You showed me that you're the one for me, and more importantly, you showed me that I'm the one who needs you and not the other way around. So please…come back to me. I promise to love you until the end of my days, and only you…I'll only look at you from now on, but please don’t choose him.” He said pronouncing each syllable with pain and regret. He regretted what he had done in the past, because now he realized how much he had hurt his beloved Yuna.
She no longer knew what to think. The girl saw herself tempted to give up everything she had built with Baekhyun to be with Chanyeol again. She was only one step away to leave everything for her former boyfriend, but the more rational part of her brain prevented her from following her feelings. Her eyes began to tear out a little bit. She was happy and distressed at the same time. Happy to hear the words she had always wanted to hear from him and distressed since she knew it wasn’t that easy anymore, because it wasn’t only about her feelings this time, now were involved the feelings of two other people. Feelings that she didn’t dare to destroy. And the worst part to all of this was that there was no such thing as a right decision, because not everyone could have a happy ending.
“Chanyeol, sorry, but you have to go.” She said for the last time.
The boy stared at her hurt, but the mere sight of her tears was enough to let him know that she still loved him as much as he loved her and that was enough for now, because the battle wasn’t over yet. He was going to leave now because he didn’t want to continue bothering her, but he would come back the next day and the next one and the next one, until have her back in his arms. He wasn’t going to stop until get back what was his.
“Fine, I’ll go, but just for now. I love you, Yuna.” He said giving her one last stare.
After her ex-boyfriend left, they went into the house in utter silence; an uncomfortable silence filled with uncertainties. Baekhyun wanted to kneel and beg her not to leave him, because that possibility seemed increasingly close. He had seen the way she behaved in front of that guy. He had witnessed the love she had in her eyes when she looked at him and he knew that he could never win against Chanyeol, was he wrong to want to try it anyways? Because he really didn’t want to give up just yet. Yuna was all he had ever wanted in a woman. Yuna was all that kept him sane and happy and if the girl left him she would leave a big void in his life that no one could fill up. Baekhyun had never been in love before, this girl was his first love and wanted her to be the last one as well, but now it looked more like a dream than anything else.
Part of him wanted to let her go, knowing that if she stayed at his side she could never be completely happy. Yet another part of him wanted her by himself only and give her the life she deserved.
“We need to talk.” He found himself muttering.
She closed her eyes and shook her head. “No. I don’t want to talk about this now, Baekhyun.”
The guy took a deep breath. “You cannot keep avoiding this issue, Yuna. At some point we will have to talk about this.” He said weakly. He didn’t have energy to keep beating around the bush either, but it was something they had to do, sooner or later.
“Just for today, Baekhyun. Just for today let’s leave things as they are.” She said in a pleading voice.
He nodded. “Just for today.” He repeated in a solemn voice.
The girl finally opened her eyes and she noticed that Baekhyun was already staring at her. In that stare were many different feelings; love, pain, uncertainty and resignation. They both knew what was going to happen in the future. They both knew what would be her decision. They both knew what was to become their relationship, but neither of them dared to say it out loud because it hurt too much to do it without breaking.
“Baekhyun…” She whispered, unable to contain her emotions.
She fel
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