End of April 2015

Morning had flooded through the windows of the iKON dorm the morning after Jiwon and I's impromptu slumber party. As the sun rays hit my eyelids, my brain shook my nerves awake. I yawned, starting to get up, rubbing my groggy eyes, trying to adjust my vision as I stretched my arms outwards.

Once my vision had cleared up, I sat there for a few seconds wondering where the heck I was; a small, messy room with a bunk bed, a desk, multiple clothes and boxes piled everywhere and a Toy Story poster on the wall.

Jinhwan's room. iKon dorm. Kim Jiwon is sleeping next to you.

"Aish..." I muttered, tiredly as I reviewed the predicament I was in, in my head. Looking down, I realized that my clothes were still wet, bunched up into a ball, God-Knows-Where and that I was still dressed in Jiwon's clothes.

I turned toward Jiwon right when he let a loud snore, so loud I was convinced he would wake up Jinhwan, who was wrapped up in his blanket on the bunkbed beside us. Despite his snore, he still managed to look like an angel. His hair swept across his forehead softly, his lips slightly parted showcasing his bunny teeth and the creases of his closed eyes made adorable smile lines.

 Just by staring at him, I felt my heart pound and instantly I turned away, my face taking on a shade of red, due to my last-night realization.

I, Emmy Park was in love with Kim Jiwon.

What was love anyway? That twisty-turny feeling in your stomach when you see them? The thunder and lightning in your heart? The hurricane of emotions in your head? The soft, glassy look of awe in your eyes?

All of the above.

I clenched my fists together as i tried to calm my heart down and think. The whole world seemed lopsided once you realize you're in love. In the books, I've read people's worlds turning "shiny, sparkly, full of glitter and brightness and full of life". All I felt like was barfing whenever I took the smallest peek at Jiwon. Everything seemed disoriented somehow, like this feeling was like living on a whole other planet.

Completely and utterly foreign.

It wasn't like this was a feeling I didn't want to have but wasn't it just plain inconvenient? Out of all the 7 billion people in this world to fall for, why did I have to go and like the already famous one that was just going to become more famous? The one I'll never see again after I leave in August?

Oh fate, why do you hate me so?

I sighed, standing up. In the process, my foot landed on something bony and as I applied pressure, I heard a tiny "crack!"

"Ow!"

As fast as lightning, I took my foot off whatever I had accidentally crushed, making a horrified sound along with it.

Please don't tell I just destroyed one of Jiwon's body parts.

"Ughhh... Park Jiwoo, there are better ways to wake someone up!"

As I had predicted, it was Kim Jiwon i had stepped on and it was his hand. He sat up, rubbing his eyes and shaking his hand around, trying to soothe the pain.

"I'm sorry JIWON!" I squeaked, my voice going up a few octaves. Being with him was making me anxious. I could picture my brain putting up barriers of caution, because all I felt was extreme paranoia.

Falling in love was messing me up.

Jiwon chuckled, massaging his hand.

"It's okay, kiddo. I know you didn't mean to. It's a good thing your feet are so tiny!"

"I heard a crack! Did I fracture something? Or break something?"

Plopping down, I sat beside Jiwon and grabbed his injured hand. I cringed when I saw that I had jammed his pointer finger on his right hand. The middle of it was turning shades of violet, dark blue and crimson.

"..."I cursed under my breath. What if Jiwon needed to use his hand for a certain dance move? It would be really painful for sure.

And that last thing I wanted to do was inflict pain on him.

"Um...I'll go...find some ice!" I panically exclaimed, starting to get up. With his uninjured hand, Jiwon grabbed my arm and pulled me back down.

"Yah, Jiwoo you can't go out there. We don't know who's awake!"

We're in the iKON dorm.

Somehow, this fact kept on slipping my mind, despite waking up beside Kim Jiwon in Jinhwan's room. There was a lot going through my head; my feelings for Jiwon, the fact that I had just jammed his finger and figuring out how the heck I was supposed to escape this place without being seen by 5 members.

But the latter wasn't the matter at hand. Jiwon's injured hand was and I intended to fix it, as soon as possible.

"Kim Jiwon," I started, my voice a bit impatient. "I'm aware of that but that is not going to heal itself. The sooner the better!"

"What if any of them are outside? They will definitely question why you are here. And I promise I'm okay Jiwoo. It doesn't hurt too much. See, I can move it!"

Jiwon moved his finger and slightly winced, causing for me to sigh.

"I'm gonna go find some ice, Jiwon. And I promise I'll hide myself well." 

Before he could even protest, I got up and left the room as quietly as I could.

Luckily for me, no one occupied the living room or the kitchen which left me free to roam and find items. Taking out a ziploc bag, I walked over to the freezer and dropped in a few ice cubes, before proceeding to the bathroom to get some bandages.

To my dismay, someone was already in the bathroom. The lights were but surprisingly, the door was partially open.

The sound of running water and the feeling of hot steam alerted my senses.

Someone was taking a shower. Which meant they were in the shower. With a shower curtain. Which meant I could just grab some bandages and leave without a trace.

I had no time to waste. I had to grab the bandages before any of the other members woke up and saw me lurking around the bathroom or worse; the member in the bathroom finding me lurking.

Opening the door by the tiniest fraction, I managed to squeeze myself into the tiny bathroom. All I felt was warm fog on my skin, clothes beneath my feet and unsurprisingly the person in the shower was singing.

His voice was rich, full of high and low notes that flowed together, seamlessly as he sang Michael Jackson's "Man in the Mirror". Without hesitation, I knew it was Koo Junhoe taking a shower beside me.

Koo Junhoe was the sassy diva of iKON, known for his high quality talent in both singing and dancing and his hilariously narcissistic attitude. He was older than me by a year but based on how he acted and his talent, he seemed so much older.

He was also an avid fan of Michael Jackson, even appearing on Star King dancing to it when he was 13.

Opening the cabinet, I grabbed the box of bandages in front of my face and prepared myself to make a hasty retreat.

"Ey? Jinhwan-hyung, is that you?"

I froze, my hand gripping the box tightly, my eyes wide with fear.

Oh .

I knew there were only two people I could impersonate; Jinhwan and Jiwon. If I did any of the others, I wouldn't be able to explain what I had done, therefore a huge mess would ensue.

Luckily, after being a fan of Jiwon for quite awhile, watching videos of him and spending some time with him, I had somewhat of a sense of how to sound like Jiwon.

"Ah no! It's...Bobby!" I said, purposely making my voice lower and morphing it into Jiwon's unique voice. I rapped "Go" in my head in an effort to become familiar with his voice.

"Oh. Bobby-hyung. How have you been? I didn't see you yesterday." Junhoe asked, politely. His tone instantly reminded me of his awkward relationship with Jiwon.

"I'm...okay. What's up, Junhoe?"

"Can you pass me my spring mineral and lime shampoo to me?"

Spring mineral and lime? What a fancy guy.

"What does it look like?"

Suddenly,without warning, I saw Junhoe's dark hair come peeking out of the shower as he attempted to pop his head out and point to the bottle.

.

Quickly, I shoved his wet head back into the shower before he could catch a glimpse

"OW! Yah Bobby-hyung what was that for?" Junhoe asked, his voice full of irritation.

"In order...to absorb all the moisture...for healthy and beautiful skin...you must stay where the steam is most concentrated at all times!" I fibbed, my trying to maintain my Jiwon voice at the same time. "I read it off a website!"

There was a long, collective pause and finally Junhoe laughed, its distinctive high-pitched sound ringing in my ears. Normally, I would feel reassured but instead the noise unsettled me.

"Ah, I already have healthy and beautiful skin!" He scoffed. "But of course it won't hurt..."

"Aren't you the modest one..." I muttered, as I searched around for Junhoe's shampoo.

After countless minutes of searching, I managed to find it beside the toilet. Why it was there, I rather not question.

"Here you go, Junhoe!" I said cheerfully handing him the bottle. I heard him mutter "Thanks" incoherently as he grabbed the bottle.

"Yah, Bobby-hyung, your hands have gotten really small!"

Junhoe suddenly grabbed my hand, his wet one covering mine in shower water and soap. I felt the consistent, fast-paced drops  of water hit my skin as Junhoe inspected my hand, his slippery ones enveloping my formerly-dry one.

"Ha! You're imagining things, Koo Junhoe!" I exclaimed, loudly, my voice going up two octaves from panic. My heart was starting to pound from nervousness as cold sweat broke all over my body. It would be a disaster if Junhoe figured out there was a girl in his bathroom.

"And they are really tan. You've gotten dark!" His voice sounded arrogant and smug, which wasn't a surprise seeing as it came from Junhoe.

Koo Junhoe, you little .

"There is nothing wrong with tan skin!" I snapped, instantly forgetting my Jiwon voice as I tore my hand away from Junhoe's grip. Nothing pissed me off more than people criticising darker skin tones, which unfortunately was something very prominent here in Korea.

A long pause ensued as I realized what I had just done. Junhoe was already suspicious as it was and I had practically confirmed his suspicions by using my real voice.

"Bobby-hyung you sound kind of weird." He finally said, his voice pensive as if contemplating.

.

"I'm just sick!" I said, going into a coughing fit. "I need some water. Bye Junhoe!"

Quickly, I slid through the crack in the doorway and ran to Jinhwan's room.

Jiwon had already folded our blankets and changed his clothes and was now curled up beside Blanket-Burrito Jinhwan on his mattress. His face lit up the way it always did whenever he saw me, and I couldn't help but melt a little inside.

"Kiddo! You're still alive!"

"Of course I am, Kim Jiwon." I said, joining Jiwon and Jinhwan on the mattress. We adjusted ourselves to all fit, so that Jinhwan's sleeping head was on Jiwon's lap and his legs were folded neatly over mine.

"You didn't get caught?" Jiwon asked, surprised as he laid his hand in my palm.

"Almost. By Junhoe in the shower." I said, absent-mindedly, completely focused on icing Jiwon's finger to bring down the swelling. "He was acting super weird though. He's usually awkward with you, right? And suddenly he became super friendly. He knows something's up."

"Whoa backtrack that there. Junhoe was in the shower?!" Jiwon asked his eyes wide, slightly wincing at the cold of the ice on his finger.

I nodded. "I didn't see anything, don't worry. He was in the shower when I went to grab the bandages. I managed to er...prevent him from seeing me. By pretending to be you."

Jiwon threw his head back and laughed upon hearing this, using his uninjured hand to ruffle my hair.

"That's my smart kiddo! If we can get you out without getting caught, Junhoe will forget the whole thing."

"Yeah well, we better move quickly." I said, wrapping up his finger with bandages. "The other members are starting to wake up and pretty soon, we'll lose our chance."

Jiwon nodded and to my surprise, he poked Jinhwan's cheek, instantly waking him up ("he has a sensitive face").

I watched in fascination as Jinhwan's long eyelashes fluttered like butterfly wings, blinking continuously to adjust to the bright room. I had never seen someone wake up and look so pretty before.

"Hi...Emmy." Jinhwan said with yawn, sitting up. He stretched out his arms, almost jabbing Jiwon in the face.

"What's up?"

"Jinhwan-hyung...we kinda need your help." Jiwon said, as we both got off the bed. I started to collect my things as Jiwon explained our predicament to Jinhwan.

"So we need to get out...without being seen?" Jinhwan asked when Jiwon finished explaining. He tapped his chin, reminding me of the way Jinnie was starting to do the same nowadays.

"Well we are lucky that there's three of us. Jiwon will help you escape, Emmy, and I'll provide a distraction."

Jinhwan explained his plan to us which sounded fairly easy; he would bring them to Jiwon and Donghyuk's room, claiming he lost something there and needed everyone's help to find it. While he did, Jiwon and I would escape.

Jinhwan quickly got to work. Jiwon and I watched as he alerted Yunhyeong, Hanbin, Chanwoo, Donghyuk and Junhoe bringing them to Jiwon's room. At the sight of Jinhwan's thumbs up, the signal we had decided on, Jiwon and I skidded across the smooth wooden floor of the living room, heading for the door.

"Yah! Kim Jiwon!"

Jiwon and I both froze at the sound of Hanbin's voice. Spotting blankets on the sofa, Jiwon looked to them pointedly and then at me.

Oh no.

Quickly, I laid myself flat on the sofa, stomach down and covered myself in blankets. Soon enough I felt Jiwon's heavy weight on my back, pressing my body into the springs of the sofa.

It felt like pure torture; I couldn't breathe due to the lack of air the blankets provided and Jiwon's heavy body was pressing my ribs into the sofa, threatening them to break. Every muscle of my back felt like it was burning.

"What are you doing here, Jiwon? We have to help Jinhwan-hyung!" Hanbin exclaimed. He sounded a lot less scary than I had pictured him to sound.

"Jinhwan-hyung...told me...to rest." Jiwon replied in between fake coughs. "So here I am...resting."

"Well...his cow pants were lost in your room. Maybe you have an idea of where they might be?"

"At the back of...my closet maybe?"

I felt Jiwon shift from above me and I bit my lip hard in an attempt not to scream from pain.

"Yeah...we should go check there..."

I felt another piece of weight land on my body; this time on my the top of my back. I would have choked  if i had the ability to.

The pain of both Hanbin and Jiwon sitting on me was so excruciating that tears were starting to prick my eyes and bright, neon blobs were starting to appear in my vision. Gritting my teeth, I struggled not to cry out.

"Are you okay, Jiwon? Jinhwan told us you were sick."

"Yeah, I'm fine, Hanbin. I just felt kind of stressed but I feel a lot better now."

How long was this going to take? At this rate, with both Hanbin and Jiwon on me, they were going to squeeze the life out of me. As much as I was enjoying this touching moment, I needed Jiwon to hurry this up.

With my arm, I navigated it through the many layers of blankets until it finally got to the top layer.

Using my fingers, I pinched whatever surface I could find on Jiwon's body, hard.

Instantly, I felt Jiwon jump up in shock and quickly, he got off of me.

"Hanbin, you should go help Jinhwan. I need to...go to the pharmacy." Jiwon babbled. To my relief, i felt Hanbin get off of me as well. Instantly, a slightly burning sensation that was both refreshing and painful filled my bones and i tried my best to take a deep breath of the stale, musty air.

"What? I'll go with you!" Hanbin insisted and although I wasn't in the most comfortable of situations, I managed to smile. Hanbin's dedication and friendship to Jiwon was really admirable.

"No offense, but I just need to be alone. I really appreciate it though." Jiwon replied, his voice hurried. In the distance, I could hear Jinhwan exclaim "WELL MY COW PANTS AREN'T UNDER THE DRESSER!" 

We were running out of time. Soon, the whole room would be searched and everyone  would give up and try another time. 

"Alright, but just remember, Jiwon if you ever need anyone, I'm here. And so is everyone else. There's no need to run away cause...we're brothers right? You aren't alone, bro." Hanbin told him, sincerely. I could tell he was still worried about Jiwon and what happened yesterday.

"...Of course. Thanks man." 

I could hear the genuinity in Jiwon's voice in his reply and the sound of it made me feel happy and assured. Jiwon was in good hands; he always was but sometimes he doubted it. 

"I'll go help Jinhwan. Come back soon, Jiwon; we have practice in an hour."

"Yeah. Good luck."

I could hear the padding of Hanbin's steps as he walked away. As soon as he was gone, Jiwon patted the top of my head through the blankets whispering "He's gone, Kiddo."

Using all of my strength, I burst free from the blankets. My hair was a mess, my (or rather Jiwon's) clothes were coated in sweat but despite that, I felt nothing but refreshed from the cool air. I took in a huge gulp of fresh air, savouring the taste of it.

"Jiwoo, I'm so sorry! Was I heavy?"

Jiwon helped me out of the blankets, smoothing my hair out of my face and cupping my face with his hands. He looked down at me, his eyes full of concern and I could feel my already-sweaty face turn hotter than before.

"I'm okayf, Jiwonfff." I said, my words coming out strange, due to the fact he was squishing my cheeks together. "Hanbinf almof broke fmy shoulders and cutf off myf circulationf buf I'm fine."

"Ah thank goodness!" He quickly hugged me to his chest, so quick I would have missed it if I had blinked, before grabbing my hand and heading to the door.

"I'M GOING OUT!" Jiwon called, opening the door.

"I FOUND MY PANTS!" was the last thing we heard as Jiwon closed the door with a satisfied "click".

Jiwon and I turned to each other, before bursting into laughter.

"That was crazy!" Jiwon exclaimed, ruffling my hair. "I still can't believe you survived both Hanbin and I sitting on your back!"

We walked through the long, narrow hallway, careful not to disturb anyone in the early morning hours.

"I almost didn't." I reminded him as we took the stairs down. "I had to pinch you to get off of me!"

Suddenly, Jiwon threw his head back, laughing like a maniac, the loud, hyena-like sound filling the stairwell.

"Yeah," Jiwon said, grinning at my expression of confusion at his outburst. "You really felt the need to pinch my to get off of you!"

"WHAT?!"

I  completely froze in my steps and Jiwon just smiled cheekily at me, not minding the embarassed blush on my cheeks.

"Yeah, Park Jiwoo. You pinched my !"

He leaned over, pinching my cheek, lightly.

"Now we're even. Don't feel so embarassed, Kiddo; I'm the one that just sat on you for 10 minutes!"

Still, I couldn't help but feel embarassed as we reached the bottom of the stairs. It was bad enough I had just realized I loved him; pinching his of all places was completely inappropriate.

Jiwon didn't seem to mind though. As he escorted me to the bus stop, he started telling me about his dream; a post-apocalyptic world where zombies roamed and aliens were the rulers of the planet.

"And you were in it too, Ji Woo! An alien caught you and tried to scoop your brains out but whoosh! I swooped in grabbed you! You stabbed him and killed him of course, because you're Ji Woo and you're amazing like that but we were a team."

A team.

I had acquired a lot of teams in my life. My family, my friends and now Jiwon.

As I climbed onto the bus and sat down, I thought about us. Him and I. What kind of team were we?

I stared out the window, not surprised to see Jiwon waving at me. I waved back, reveling in this simple moment between us.

As the bus pulled away and the image of Jiwon faded, I realized that I didn't need an answer. Jiwon and I were...us. It was unexplainable but then again, a lot of the best things in the world were.

I was a 16 year old girl, in love with a 19 year old boy. I was still figuring out my feelings, still developping and growing them.

And that was okay.

I wonder what the future will bring us?

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This was supposed to be an extra chapter to "Tears" (seeing as Tears was kinda heavy plus i needed to figure out a way to get jiwoo out of their dorm.)

autumn is here and it's friggin cold where i live. personally i am a fan of spring. what seasons do y'all like?

-donggu