Jinki enjoyed the rain, ever since he was a child. It calmed him when his parents died and he and Taemin were sent to live with relatives, when he became an idol trainee that had stress piled upon him, and especially when Taemin and he had gone through what they did. He felt like he was being washed by the rain whenever he was out there; like the rain could push away all the negative feelings of his life and let him feel like he was being renewed completely.

However, he did have exceptions and tended to hate the rain on somedays, and today was one of them. He was at a fan meeting that ended up being more than too much for him to handle, and when he walked outside, it was raining. Jinki was in expensive clothes, so he didn't want his clothes to get ruined by the rain as he walked home, but his manager had called to say that the fan that was supposed to pick him up had gone with Taemin to the younger's schedules. Jinki was happy knowing that Taemin would be shielded from the rain, but that didn't mean he wanted to be out in the open when it was raining as hard as it was then.

The only bright side of being out in the rain was that his bodyguard was with him. 

"Wait here, I'll get you an umbrella." Jonghyun pointed lazily at a convenience store across the street, but before he could take a step forward, Jinki lightly tugged him back by the arm, shaking his head lightly.

"There's no need." Jinki reassured him plainly, his eyes darting around the street with some hope, "Manager said they'll bring the van back after Taemin's done, and he should be done within an hour."

"So you're saying we're staying out in the cold rain for over an hour?" Jonghyun asked lightly, and Jinki heard a scoff in his voice, so he turned to Jonghyun only to raise an eyebrow in amusement. Of course Jonghyun would be cold if he was wearing a white wife beater and a pair of jeans.

Jinki looked down at himself before realizing his leather jacket would look better on Jonghyun anyway and took it off, draping it around the younger's shoulders and leaving himself in a white button down dress shirt. Jonghyun watched his movement silently, though his eyes narrowed in warning as he guessed what the elder could do. Just as Jinki started to pull himself away, Jonghyun quickly wrapped his arms around his waist and pressed himself against the elder instead.

"What are you doing?" Jinki muttered, looking down at the male who gazed back up at him with a smirk playing at the corners of his lips.

"Keeping us both warm at the same time." Jonghyun spoke as if it should have been obvious, but Jinki didn't really understand why they had to be hugging in order to stay warm.

What he couldn't understand even more was why hugging Jonghyun felt so natural, even though the elder Lee wasn't much of a "hugger". His first instinct told him to pull away because his bodyguard was being far too intimate with him, but he realized quickly that his arms had wound around Jonghyun's shoulders as if it were natural; as if that was exactly what he was waiting for all of his life. Then, in mild surprise, Jinki noticed that they were actually moving against the pavement, swaying to a beat created by the gentle crashes of rain against the sidewalk around them with the clouds as their audience.

It almost felt like a dream, or perhaps a scene of a clliché movie, but Jinki oddly found comfort in the arms of a man he hardly knew. The only thing that was missing from the moment was a confession  or a kiss, though Jinki didn't have to think too much about that.

"I met Kibum back in high school." Jonghyun spoke so suddenly and gently that Jinki had to lean closer to him just to hear what he was saying.

Kibum was a new student in Jonghyun's school, and everyone talked about the male with cat-like eyes and a feminine way of speaking, though he was also heard to have a sharp tongue and piercing eyes. At first, Jonghyun brushed off all of the rumors about the male, since there were plenty of people in the school already and Kibum was just one of them; what made him so special? 

It wasn't until he met the male that he understood exactly what made him special. Jonghyun has dated a lot in his time, guys and girls, but not one of them could compare to the ball of beauty that was Kim Kibum, and Jonghyun made that known from the start. He would pop up by Kibum's locker randomly, or offer to walk him home after school. Most times, Kibum refused his offers and ignored his flirting, because even he knew about Jonghyun being a player, but that only fueled Jonghyun further into becoming a male Kibum would want to be with.

"Can you leave me alone, please?" Kibum was slowly starting to get tired of the man's persistence and would usually go the opposite way if he saw Jonghyun near.

"Can you give me a chance, please?" Jonghyun didn't miss a beat to reply, his eyes focused right on the male he was speaking to, and Kibum ended up looking away first, the tips of his ears tinting pink.

For a moment, Kibum didn't reply, so Jonghyun took a dejected step backwards, only to still as soon as he heard Kibum's voice again, "This friday, let's watch a movie together."

Jonghyun was so overjoyed that he spun back and probably gave a couple of the bystanders whiplash, but he was far too overjoyed to think of that, "Really?"

"Only a movie." Kibum reminded him with narrow eyes, and that was all Jonghyun needed to hear.

Their first date went off without a hitch, and all the dates after for three years. Heck, they were even called "the cutest" couple by everyone who'd seen them, but no one knew what was really going on. No one knew that Jonghyun and Kibum kept penting up all their frustrations towards each other and ended up becoming distant even though they spent nearly all the time they had together.

One day, Kibum had the misfortune of catching a girl confess her love to Jonghyun, and though Jonghyun rejected her, Kibum then realized that he didn't care that someone else wanted him. He almost encouraged it silently, but when he had confronted Jonghyun about it later, things hadn't gone well.

The two of them ended up in a heated argument in which they told each other of all the things they disliked about each other. Needless to say, they broke up that night. Jonghyun tried to apologize to Kibum after hat several times because he knew they could work things out, but he didn't want to. Kibum wanted to see other people, Jonghyun wanted to find himself. Both routes brought them to the same place 5 years later.

"You and Kibum used to date." Jinki stated it as a fact, because that's what it was, and he'd be lying to have said he didn't see it coming. Those two had a deep connection of some sort, and as long as they hadn't helped each other kill someone, he didn't really care about what connection they had. His feet stopped following the beat given by the rain, and his eyes slowly moved down just to freeze as they caught Jonghyun's thoughtful expression, "For three years."

"It was hard for someone like me, who was used to bouncing around." Jonghyun admitted gently, though his eyes never left the elder as he spoke, "I thought I'd never find someone to love again as much as I loved Kibum."

Jinki was confused by what Jonghyun was saying, but as he opened his mouth to ask about it, their van came into view and Jinki quickly detached from Jonghyun as it neared because he didn't need unnecessary questions to be asked. Jonghyun stared after him for a few moments, but turned back to the van as soon as it pulled up to the curb and an angry manager got out with an umbrella in hand; and Jinki was surprised to see it was Taemin's manager and not his own, who usually got mad at everything Jinki did.

"What happened?" Jinki asked with a raised eyebrow as the umbrella was unfolded, and he nudged Jonghyun to go in before him in case he'd want to sit closer to Taemin.

"He's your brother, that's what happened." the manager replied, and a quiet gasp from inside the van had Jinki quickly hopping in to make sure Taemin was alright after all.

There was an ice pack held up to Taemin's swollen eye, and the younger had a busted lip as well, and Jinki wanted nothing more than to be the one taking care of the younger and holding his hand to somehow ease the pain, but he couldn't because of two obstacles; Kim Jonghyun and Kim Kibum. He watched them in envy for a few moments as they took care of his brother before he turned back and scolded himself because it's not like Taemin would want him to take care of him anyway.

That had him thinking about Jonghyun again. Jonghyun obviously cared a lot for Taemin, much like Kibum did, so how could Jinki actually tell Jonghyun what happened between him and his brother? As soon as Jonghyun were to find out what happened between them, he'd certainly hate Jinki and Jinki just didn't want to lose Jonghyun.

"What happened?" Jinki's voice was so calm that it had everyone shivering in their seats. The managers' anger were bad, but when Jinki got angry it was the scariest.

"It's my fault." Kibum said quietly, and though the elder Lee didn't turn around, he hummed to let Kibum know he was listening, "Taemin asked me to get him something to drink, but by the time I got back he was in the middle of a fight. I got him out before he could get too hurt, but... I'm sorry, Jinki."

"It's not your fault, hyung." Taemin sounded weak, and Jinki had to force himself to stay quiet, or else he knew he'd be in tears, "I didn't know there would be anti-fans in the building."

"Then you should have called for help!" Jinki's manager bellowed, the managers' previously forgotten anger returning in full speed.

Jinki had heard enough, so he zoned them out for the rest of the ride and was the first to leave the van as soon as it parked to hurriedly climb up the stairs and shut himself in his room because it was too much. Time and time again, all he ever did was fail Taemin as an older brother, and yet he had the audacity to want to be around the younger. He threw himself onto his bed and stared up at his ceiling, ignoring the fact that he was wrinkling expensive clothes because he was just that exhausted by all of the events that unfolded.

It took less than ten minutes before Jonghyun arrived at his door, knocked, and then slipped in; quietly shutting the door behind him and leaning against it as he glanced down at the elder, "Why are you up here when Taemin's hurt?"

"He wouldn't want me there." Jinki answered simply, absentmindedly imagining pictures on his ceiling.

Suddenly, he was yanked up into a sitting position with Jonghyun giving him a scolding glance, "Are you crazy? That boy took care of you when you were bruised and battered and you say 'he wouldn't want me' when he's in the same position?"

Jinki yanked his arm away and laid back down with a deep sigh, his eyes shutting, "Trust me, he wouldn't."

"And why wouldn't he?" Jonghyun wasn't trying to pull him up anymore, and eventually found himself laying down next to the elder with their arms barely brushing against each other.

The elder didn't want to answer that, he really didn't. It brought up bad memories and more often had him crying about the situation and everything he'd done wrong as Taemin's brother. However, Jonghyun did tell him about the tension between him and Kibum, and it was only fair for Jinki to share their story. Plus, he had made the deal with the younger to tell each other anyway; but it didn't make it any easier.

Jinki never took his gaze off the ceiling as he answered, "I almost killed him."