Sorry for disappearing, guys! I'm a college student, and though that's not an excuse, I've only really had enough time to do small updates every day and I finally got this chapter done. Yay! It's not almost over, so don't worry.

A part of Jinki regretted kissing his bodyguard, and hated himself for doing it a second time. It was often hard to look Jonghyun in the eye when they were alone together because Jinki had no idea how to react around the younger male anymore. Jonghyun obviously found this to be amusing and always made it a point to remind Jinki that they had kissed and that there were certainly feelings growing between the two of them whether it was through a wink or even a kissy face.

Thankfully, no one else seemed to be aware of the growing tension between the two, or perhaps no one wanted to upset Jinki by bringing it up. That didn't stop the tension, however, especially not when Jonghyun's teasing got to be more public. 

One morning, when Jinki stumbled into the kitchen to reluctantly pour himself a mug of coffee, he noticed the younger three men sitting around the kitchen table with their breakfast in front of them. Normally, Jinki would ignore them and do his morning routine, but since Taemin was looking up at him and not ignoring him the way he used to, Jinki found himself sitting next to his younger brother and across from Kibum.

"You're eating with us?" Kibum was surprised to see the elder, but without needing to have anything else said, the younger bodyguard stood up and went to grab another portion of their breakfast for Jinki.

"Thank you, Kibum." his voice had come out a lot more gentle than he expected it to, and he certainly wasn't used to himself sounding so kind, butb he just so happened to glance over at Jonghyun and noticed the flicker of envy in his eyes.

"Hyung, are you feeling unwell?" Taemin's voice was teasing, since he was expecting Jinki to ignore them again and walk back to his room with a mug of coffee in his possession.

In amusement, all Jinki could do was shake his head and look down at the food Kibum placed before him. His heart dropped slightly because he knew that right after the meal ended, he'd have to return to his studio or to the company and would be unable to spend more of the day with his brother and the two bodyguards.

"Jinki," Jonghyun's voice snapped him out of his thoughts immediately, and he could only hope that Kibum and Taemin didn't notice his eagerness to look at his bodyguard again, "Your manager wanted me to remind you that you don't have any schedules for today."

The elder Lee was going to voice his surprise but was cut off when Kibum excitedly slammed his hand onto the kitchen table, "Then you  both can come with us."

They had already planned to go somewhere? Jinki was about to argue since they had made plans already, but Taemin had cut him off before he could even try and zipped off toward his room.

Because his first option for getting out of whatever was going on escaped, his second just happened to be Kibum. As he turned to Kibum, he noticed Kibum's bright eyes and realized that he also wasn't going to be of any assistance. He slowly turned his attention to Jonghyun, but the younger had gotten up and was washing the empty dishes. The scraping of chairs against the ground brought the elder's attention back to Kibum, who also got up and was hurrying down to his own room.

It was then that Jonghyun turned the tap off and started following Kibum to the basement. At least, Jinki thought he would be going to the basement; but instead, Jonghyun pulled Jinki up by the arm and was gently pushing him up to his room all while ignoring his protests.

A few moments later, Jonghyun had pushed Jinki onto his bed and was searching through the elder's closet for something he wouldn't tell Jinki about.

"Change into this." Jonghyun was holding up a pair of swim trunks and a tee shirt, but Jinki could only gape at him because he was surprised that they had decided to go anywhere that involved water.

"But-" Jinki was going to refuse, since the other three had apparently made plans and he didn't want to intrude, but Jonghyun walked over and crouched down so that they were at eye level.

"Taemin was so excited to know you'd be coming with us; don't let him down." Jonghyun wasn't scolding him or anything, but his eyes were filled with admiration again, and Jinki felt himself nod without him even thinking about what he was told since he was too busy being blinded by the younger's smile, "Now are you going to change, or do you need me to help you?"

That was enough to bring Jinki out of his daze, and after sending Jonghyun an unamused glance, Jinki stood and pulled the shirt he was already wearing off, "Get out, unless you do want to see me ."

Jonghyun was staring at him and though he wouldn't let it show, the gaze had started making Jinki feel more nervous than it should have made him feel.

"If I do?" Jonghyun left as soon as he uttered those words, and Jinki gasped lightly at the bluntness he used to speak.

He stood frozen there until a few minutes later, when Taemin knocked on his door and told him they were going to leave soon. Hearing that was enough to set Jinki back into motion and he hurriedly changed and grabbed all the things he needed before joining them in front of the door. The three of them were obviously excited to go outside, since it was so beautiful and it wasn't like they went out much other than for schedules, anyway.

Jinki didn't know where they were going, but based on the fact that Kibum was holding a beach towel in one arm and a picnic basket in the other, he assumed they were going to the local beach. Jinki wouldn't mind as long as there would be no reporters or crazy fans around to watch them.

The second the eldest got to the front door, Taemin grabbed onto his hand and then was dragging Jinki all the way to the van waiting outside for them. Jinki tried to ignore the feeling of being wanted by Taemin again, because just because he needed him at that moment didn't mean he needed the elder forever. Still, the hope started building in his chest, and a smile lifted the corners of his lips as he trailed after his younger brother with the two bodyguards right behind them.

"It's been so long since we've been to the beach!" Taemin's excitement caused Jinki's heart to drop in guilt because it was his fault that they hadn't been able to go to the beach whenever they wanted to. Perhaps, if he wasn't an idol, they would have been given more time to do things other people would have; like going to the beach. He couldn't say anything for the rest of the ride because of his guilt, and found himself constantly wondering why he was such a bad elder brother to Taemin in the first place.

Jonghyun had sat behind Jinki, who sat in the passenger seat beside the driver; and though Jinki thought he was keeping his negative thoughts to himself, the arm that passed the seatbelt and gently squeezed his shoulder told him otherwise, that whatever he was thinking about himself was wrong. He wanted to jerk away; because one, what if the others saw, and two; why does Jonghyun keep trying to get close to him, anyway?

In the end, he just ended up ignoring Jonghyun, and even when the younger two started sprinting off toward the water and beckoning for the elder two to follow, Jinki pretended not to see Jonghyun's longing gaze and pretended to busy himself with setting up their lounging area until the bodyguard gave up and joined the other two. Sadly, Jinki soon found himself being bored by waiting around for the three of them to get out of the water, and got up to stroll down the beach.

"Mom, dad." he was muttering to himself as he walked, his gaze fixated on the never ending sky before him as he walked. There were quite a few people around, but he could hear Taemin's delighted squeals and the snaps of pictures taken by everyone who recognized the younger Lee. Jinki turned his gaze to his brother for a moment and then continued on his stroll with a light grin on his lips, "Your son seems to forget he can't handle too much excitement." Still, he couldn't say he was mad, or even worried. The two bodyguards took care of Taemin just as well as Jinki did back when it was just the two of them and Taemin didn't hate him. Plus he was glad they were distracting each other so that he wouldn't have to get into the water himself.

Or so he thought.

Jonghyun surprised Jinki by running out of the water, wrapping his arms around the elder's waist, and lifting him into the air. Jinki sputtered and tried to struggle, but he knew his strength didn't match that of his bodyguard. After he had left the elder, Jinki didn't even think that Jonghyun would come back, but he obviously wasn't right. Apparently, as revenge to how he himself was treated, Jonghyun plopped Jinki right into the water and grinned to himself in victory as the elder Lee tried to pull himself out.

Keyword, tried.

Except that the bodyguard had jumped down and started to wrestle Jinki in the water. It wasn't very safe, but with how loud Jinki was laughing and how adorably his eyes crinkled in amusement, Jonghyun had no regrets and kept wrestling the elder anyway.

"Let go of me!" Jinki was laughing as he exclaimed his desire for freedom, his arms waving around even though they were being pinned down into the water by Jonghyun.

"Never." Jonghyun's voice wasn't amused, and his eyes were full of an emotion that honestly scared but exhilerated Jinki.

The bodyguard's grip had loosened slightly as he spoke, and he was staring down at Jinki with what seemed to be fear shining in his eyes, as if he was afraid of rejection. It was right for him to feel that way, since Jinki never knew how to react around the younger and thus probably gave him mixed signals.

"Then don't." he hadn't meant to say that, but his heart's pounding reassured him that it was only right of him to say it, even if he didn't realize it himself. It was then, as he was looking up at the soft and trusting expression Jonghyun wore that he realized he wasn't being fair to the one person that was proving to be by his side time and time again. It was this fact that had him swallowing once nervously and then speaking as if it was all he could do, "Four years ago, Taemin was on the brink of death, and I wasn't there to make sure he'd be okay. Taemin, who always had me around didn't have me when he really needed me, and because of that he almost died. Because of that, he decided not to love me at all."