He didn't realize when it started, but Jinki knew he was falling in love with his bodyguard. At first, he didn't like the sound of it, because what good would come out of loving Jonghyun? So, he did everything that he could to stop thinking of Jonghyun- which obviously failed. Instead of writing down music onto empty sheets of paper, he'd find himself doodling in Jonghyun's name; and when he was supposed to practice his dancing, he felt as if he was dancing with Jonghyun and couldn't stop making clumsy mistakes.

Thankfully, no one had caught on to why he was being unlike himself recently, though he was teased for getting some steps and notes wrong. Jonghyun followed him throughout his schedules and Jinki took secret glances at the male whenever he was sure that Jonghyun's attention was elsewhere. Though Jonghyun never said anything out loud, Jinki knew that Jonghyun had a feeling that Jinki's attention was always on him.

Even at the end of the day when they returned home to find Kibum, Minho and Taemin sprawled out in the living room, Jinki's eyes only moved away from Jonghyun for a moment before returning to him. Seeing Minho in their home wasn't unsual anymore, and the tall male came over so often that Jinki thought of offering him a bedroom as well. Jonghyun stood near the living room entrance and turned back to see what Jinki would do, but the elder had been caught off by the sudden attention and hurriedly crossed over to the stairs to hide his flustered face.

"Hyung!" Jinki hoped Taemin was calling for Jonghyun and not himself, because he was already halfway up the stairs when his voice called, but Jinki was exhausted and wanted nothing more than to go to sleep so he just kept going anyway.

Except that when he flopped onto his bed for a nap, sleep wouldn't come and he ended up sitting back against the headboard with a notebook in hand. He figured that if he couldn't sleep, he could at least work on music for his next album, but as he sat there, there were no words that would fill his mind unless they were words about Kim Jonghyun. Usually, Jinki would be all for writing a love song, since those are the kind of songs that are more popular, but writing a love song about Kim Jonghyun surprisingly made his stomach feel off.

As he was jotting down random words in hopes that a song could start flowing from them, the bedroom door creaked open, and Jinki quickly closed his notebook so that Jonghyun couldn't see what he was writing. Jonghyun, since he was sure he knew Jinki better than the elder knew himself, smirked and calmly walked over to the bed, taking up the space next to Jinki with their arms pressed together and their legs kicked out.

"Did they bore you?" Jinki mused, his gaze focused on their now gently battling feet, "It looked like they were playing a fun game."

"One that I've beaten several times before." Jonghyun muttered back in amusement, slowly reaching out to take the elder's hand in his own and draw meaningless figures onto the elder's skin.

Jinki let out a breathless chuckle at the answer and turned his head just slightly to look at Jonghyun, but once again felt his face become flustered when he saw Jonghyun's face just a few centimeters away. He had kissed Jonghyun twice before, and was kissed by Jonghyun once before, so he had no idea why he was so shy, but he was. Jonghyun's lips quirked into the sweetest of grins and his eyes looked back at the elder with so much admiration that Jinki forgot to breathe for a moment. When he did realize what was happening, he leaned away from Jonghyun, only to have the younger following his movement with his free arm draping across Jinki's waist.

Though Jinki thought the younger was trying to keep him in place, Jonghyun was actually reaching for his notebook, and quickly pulled himself away when he got it. With wide eyes and surprise at the act of betrayal, Jinki groaned and reached for the notebook, but Jonghyun was still stronger than him.

"What are you doing? Give it back." Jinki was hoping the tone in his voice was stern enough to make Jonghyun return his notebook the way someone else would have been affected by his tone, but Jonghyun did no such thing and was flipping through the pages of the notebook until he found what he was looking for.

Eventually, Jinki gave up on trying to get his notebook back and sat back with his arms crossed in an unamused fashion as he watched. Jonghyun's eyes lit up as he read whatever was written, and his lips were pulled back ever so slightly to let his toothy smile be shown to the elder. Jinki wanted to continue being angry or to snatch the book back, but seeing the joy in Jonghyun's expression was incredible and had him pulling closer to the younger once more.

"You wrote all this about me?" Jonghyun's voice was gentle as he asked, and when he turned to Jinki, the elder could have sworn that he saw tears in the corners of the younger male's eyes.

How Jonghyun knew it was about him from first glance was beyond him, but Jinki's  instincts had him leaning forward and cupping Jonghyun's face so he could brush any stray tears off of Jonghyun's skin. Jonghyun was always around to comfort Jinki, so the elder had to do the same for the younger.

"Who else?" His voice was just above a whisper as he answered, and the urge to kiss Jonghyun was strong, but he knew he was pushing his luck with all the affection he was showing the male, so he pulled himself back to give Jonghyun space.

"Do you love me, Jinki?" Jonghyun startled him so much that he jumped and ended up whacking the back of his head against the headboard, and while Jinki checked to make sure his head was okay, Jonghyun's eyes remained focused on him entirely. Jonghyun's eyes were filled with various emotions that Jinki partially wished he didn't see, because they gave him hope that maybe Jonghyun loved him, but love was a sensitive topic and Jinki didn't know how to love someone else.

Though Jinki knew he was falling for Jonghyun, he didn't know if he could admit it just yet, and he was so used to being alone that even the prospect of them being together frightened him. Jonghyun must have noticed the vulnerability in Jinki's eyes, for his own eyes stopped showing the many emotions he had been feeling, and his smile turned into a smirk.

"Because if all you ever do is think about me, I'll be a little worried."

Jinki didn't know if he was supposed to laugh or if he was supposed to get angry, because he knew what Jonghyun was doing; suppressing his emotions so he wouldn''t scare the elder away. Jinki had done it many times in his life, and he hated that he was the reason Jonghyun was pretending to feel a certain way when he actually felt something else.

"You wish." Jinki sighed and angled himself away because he knew he was just disappointing Jonghyun and he didn't want to see the hurt he caused the younger. Playing along would hurt them both more, but it was easier to play along than to face his feelings and agree to something he had no clue about, "Now get out so I can fall asleep."

Yet Jonghyun only let out what Jinki thought was a forced chuckle and he kept sitting on the elder's bed even though Jinki himself was trying to sleep. Since he really wanted Jonghyun to leave so he could be by himself for a while, Jinki slowed his breathing and even snored a little with the hope that Jonghyun would catch the hint and leave. With a sigh, Jonghyun leaned down and pressed a kiss to Jinki's forehead, and Jinki could tell that Jonghyun was smiling without even looking up at the younger male.

"You're going to kill me one of these days." And with that said, Jonghyun stood up and quietly escaped from the elder's room, and once Jinki was sure he was alone, he slowly raised his hand to brush the spot where Jonghyun's lips had met his skin.

When he heard sniffles, that's when Jinki became alerted; because he knew it was himself. Jinki hadn't cried for years, so for him to be crying over Jonghyun of all people confused him. He tried telling himself that it was okay; that he was just over reacting and he wasn't wrong for not admitting to Jonghyun that he loved the younger. An hour later, someone was knocking on the door, and Jinki rubbed at his drained eyes to make himself look sleepy and not as if he was crying; because what if it were Jonghyun trying to come into his room? If he saw the elder crying, that would be the end of Jinki's resolve. 

"Come in." his voice wasn't thick or raspy, thankfully, but it was exhausted, and Jinki was surprised he hadn't fallen asleep yet.

It was Minho, not Jonghyun; and Minho's eyes focused on him immediately, despite the fact that the lights were off and Jinki was covered in blankets. Minho carefully stepped into the room and the lamp beside Jinki's bed before he took a seat on the corner of the mattress with his worried gaze roaming over the elder's facial features, "It's no use pretending. I was listening for the past twenty minutes."

Was he that loud for even Minho to hear him from down the stairs?

"I know what you're thinking, and no, you weren't." Minho sighed and ran his fingers through his hair before turning his full attention to the male that was still hiding under all the blankets, "Jonghyun came down the stairs and I'm pretty sure Kibum and Taemin thought he was going to cry, so they took him outside for some ice cream."

"Why didn't you go with them?" Jinki finally sat up again, though his hands fell onto his lap and his eyes tried to stay away from Minho's gaze completely.

"I would have, but then I heard Jonghyun saying something about you being asleep, and I wanted to check on you first. When I heard you cry, I told them to go on without me." Minho took up the space Jonghyun had left vacant, though there was plenty of space between their bodies, and there was no intimacy to be found, "What happened, Jinki?"

"He asked me if I love him." He didn't know why he was answering, and to Minho of all people, who had once broken his heart, but his eyes started to water again for some unknown reason.

Taking a sharp intake of breath, Minho turned and narrowed his eyes at the elder, "And what did you say?"

Jinki's silence was enough for Minho as an answer, and Minho reached over to run his fingers through Jinki's hair instead.

"The bond between you and Jonghyun is strong. I noticed that when you two were at my party together." Minho's voice was full of contemplation as he spoke, and his eyes had a thoughtful gleam to them, "It's obvious to everyone else that you love each other, and maybe you are scared, but don't forget that it takes two people to have a bond, and whatever fear you have is probably what he holds in his own heart."

The elder knew what Minho was talking about, of course. That Jonghyun was just as scared as him and he still made the effort to get closer, so Jinki should trust in him more and let go of all the things holding him back from telling Jonghyun because there's not much for him to lose anyway.

"Tell him, Jinki, or you'll regret it for the rest of your life." Minho got up and headed straight for the door because he saw the spark in Jinki's eyes and knew the elder had figured it out for himself.

"Minnie." Jinki couldn't let Minho go out without a proper thanks, so when Minho paused and turned, Jinki smiled up at him the way he used to when they had been best friends, "I'm glad you're back."

"Shut up and think of a way to confess." Minho rolled his eyes playfully and then left Jinki alone to his thoughts.

Jinki tried to go to sleep again, doubting that he could since his mind was racing now with thoughts of how he could tell Jonghyun he loved him, but it was surprisingly easy and he found his eyes fighting to stay open.