Secretly, Jinki hated that the friendship that was building between him and his bodyguard was always so shallow. Then again, it was his own fault when he constantly chose to avoid Jonghyun when the situation became too tense for himself. He knew he was underestimating Jonghyun. The bodyguard was always a loyal friend to him, and yet, Jinki could never bring himself to be around the younger with the fear that he was just going to disappoint the bodyguard.

It still made him tense whenever he thought of Jonghyun's reaction to the story he'd shared; the story that had haunted him for years and would most likely haunt him for the rest of his life. The way Jonghyun's eyes stopped showing emotion and how weak he himself felt as he explained just what happened between himself and his brother in the past was imprinted in his mind.

Onew hardly ever stayed in South Korea due to the increasing amount of foreign fans he gained daily. He didn't complain about it, of course, since he was a singer and enjoyed performing no matter where in the world it took him, but Taemin was another story. Taemin hated when he left so much that he'd pout and sit in the living room with his arms crossed right up until before Jinki would leave. It was at that time where Taemin decided he wasn't making it any easier on his elder brother and would pounce on Jinki with requests of the elder staying well and of course to bring back souveniers.

It was when Onew learned he'd have to go to the United States for about a month that it had changed. Taemin hadn't left his room and when Jinki had knocked to ask if the younger was okay, he was only met with the younger's slightly upset voice telling him to leave. Jinki didn't know what made Taemin sound like that, since he'd never been that way before, but he would miss his plane if he stopped to check on his brother. After patting his manager's shoulder he left, knowing his manager would take care of Taemin in his stead.

If he knew that staying behind would have saved Taemin from going through all of his pain, he would have. Jinki didn't know about what happened until after his first concert a week after leaving South Korea, and when he found out, his world fell on top of him. Taemin hadn't been feeling good but didn't want to worry his brother before his flight, so he let it affect himself thinking he could ignore it. He ended up having heart distress later that day, and because Jinki's manager was there, he was able to live.

His manager told him that Taemin was looking for him and calling for him even as he began to lose consciousness. He looked frightened and his face was pale; at least, that's what his manager said. They had to do an emergency surgery and since Jinki wasn't there, their only option for the agreement of surgery was the Lee brothers' aunt. The aunt said yes, obviously, but because she knew that Jinki would worry and would make a fuss about coming back to be with Taemin, she hadn't called to tell Jinki what was going on until the end of the week.

By that time, Taemin's condition was stable; a "miracle", as they called it. Taemin wasn't scared anymore, but angry and bitter because the same brother that promised to take care of him for the rest of his life wasn't the last person he saw before his eyes shut or the first he saw when he awoke. When his aunt had called Jinki, Taemin scowled and glared at the cellular device in her hand until she hung up the phone in tears.

Jinki had been furious when she told him, understandably. He was supposed to be Taemin's guardian, so how could everyone have left him in the dark? He took the next flight back to Seoul, canceling his tour; and his first stop was at the hospital with his arms full of presents for his younger brother and his eyes welling with tears of relief and panic. When he entered the room, Taemin's glare fixated on him and it was then that Jinki knew it had all changed.

The younger Lee ended up slapping all of the things Jinki brought for him away and kept dodging every time Jinki tried to even touch him. It broke Jinki's heart, but the elder knew it was his own fault and that he had to pay for it one way or another; and as long as Taemin was alive, he was happy.

From that moment on, the once strong bond between Jinki and his younger brother was no more. Taemin even said it aloud one day when the managers weren't around and it was only him and his brother once more, "Your career is even more important to you than me, right? Then you be happy with your career and leave me out of your ."

Instead of correcting his brother, Jinki continued living that way and blaming himself, because Taemin was right. Because of his career, he almost lost his brother; he almost killed his own younger brother due to his stupid life decisions. He would have broken his contract at that time, but he still had many years to go before he was freed from the company, and they couldn't afford a lawsuit at the time. Jinki was torn between remaining as Onew and becoming Taemin's brother again.

Now that he thought about it, the ordeal had his heart in pain. Now that so many years had gone by, thinking about what happened to them just felt like a bad dream instead of the past. Could he confidently say things have changed for the better? No, but he can say they've changed. Taemin showed more emotion than the glares Jinki was used to, and he certainly enjoyed having Jinki around... or at least he did when the bodyguards were around.

A few days after their trip to the beach, Jinki found himself wandering into the kitchen once more. It was starting to become a habit, to go in when the younger three were around. Instead of his usual mug of coffee before heading to work, he'd either join them for breakfast or just sit down and silently drink his decaf as he listened to what the three of them were chatting about. On this particular day, as Jinki was reluctantly reaching for his decaf, someone gently pushed him aside, and his eyes widened as he stared at the back of Kibum's head.

"Sit down and eat, I'll bring the coffee to you." to hear Kibum offer something nicely had Jinki's eyes then narrowing in suspicion, but because he wanted his coffee and he was sure Kibum wouldn't move, he sighed and took the last remaining seat beside Jonghyun.

"Jinki." Jonghyun's voice was gentlly flowing into his ears, as if they were the only two there and Jonghyun just had to say something because the silence between them was killing him.

The elder Lee ingored his voice as best as he could, since he was still insecure about what he'd shared with Jonghyun. He didn't know if maybe Jonghyun's feelings toward him had changed because of the story, and he wasn't exactly willing to find out either.

"Hyung!" Taemin was whining as he called, and Jinki slowly looked up to see Taemin's whine was pointed toward him with a pout to match, "Why are you ignoring Jonghyun hyung? Are you mad at him again?"

Again? Jinki thought his eyes were going to pop out of his skull. He was very rarely angry at Jonghyun, and he knew he wasn't the type to ignore someone who made him angry; take Minho, as an example. Plus, there was no reason for him to be angry at Jonghyun when the younger never did anything wrong toward him. Was Jinki embarrassed? Maybe. Would he admit it? Never.

"He probably deserves it." Kibum's voice was light and filled with amusement as he put the food and coffee in front of Jinki, as if he knew that whatever was happening didn't mean much, but Jinki found himself narrowing his eyes at the feminine male once more.

The next thing he knew, a small piece of bread was thrown across the table and struck Kibum on the forehead, "What could you possibly know, you diva?"

"The Almighty Key knows all!" Kibum snorted, throwing a different piece of bread back to Jonghyun but missing and instead whacking Jinki's nose with it.

"Kibum hyung!" Taemin was full out laughing at this because putting the three of them together usually ended with Kibum calling himself Key, food being thrown around, and Jinki's downright confusion.

Before he could question what was going on, the doorbell rang, and with a thankful sigh, he stood and all but ran to the door with Jonghyun following him calmly. Why Jonghyun was following him was beyond Jinki's comprehension, but he assumed it was because Jonghyun was also avoiding whatever was to happen in the kitchen.

"Minho." he was surprised to see the taller male again, since their previous meetings had never gone too well, but there he was again. Minho was standing with his hands in his pockets with his head slightly bowed and a sheepish grin on his lips. Jinki, though he didn't feel the same tension he usually felt when Minho was around, couldn't help but feel suspicious about his sudden arrival, "What are you doing here?"

"We called him over." Jonghyun's voice had him tense instead, but the elder refused to let it be shown that Jonghyun had such an affect on him so he nodded and stepped away to allow Minho entrance.

"I'll be in my studio." he thought he'd be able to escape since it wasn't his guest, but he was obviously wrong and it was proved when Jonghyun quickly grasped onto his hand before he could go. Thankfully, Minho didn't notice, as he was too busy taking his shoes off, but Jinki was unable to tear his gaze away from their now intwined hands.

"Minho hyung's here?" Taemin stepped out of the kitchen with a towel wiping off whatever was on his face earlier. Kibum was a couple of steps behind him and both men were sporting light grins on their faces. Before they could notice how the elder two were holding hands, Jinki smoothly pulled away and headed toward the staircase.

"Jinki, wait." Minho's voice hadn't pulled him back but slowed him down enough let Minho know he was listening, "I'm sorry."

Jinki sighed, because he just couldn't keep being upset when the youngers had banded together in order to make this happen, and he knew Jonghyun wouldn't want him to keep holding a grudge, so he changed his direction to the living room and took up the free recliner.

With wide grins, the younger four sat down as well and it was as if they'd all known each other for years. Jinki wanted to be annoyed, since there were so many people in his house making such a ruckus, but he was glad to have them all there, since it made Taemin happy. Eventually, Taemin had pulled out the video game station and as the youngers busied themselves with whatever racing game was being played, Jinki stood and sneaked off into the kitchen because he had actually let himself forget about his coffee!

"It's cold." he was disappointed by this fact, since he was looking forward to his coffee, but it wasn't the end of the world- right? He stuck the mug into the microwave and heated his coffee up once more, but his attention was pulled away from the microwave when a pair of familiar arms wrapped around him and pulled him against a sturdy frame. Jinki knew who it was without even looking. Because he remembered why he was avoiding Jonghyun in the first place, he froze and didn't move even when the microwave beeped at the end of the heating cycle.

"Idiot. Why do you keep doing this to me?" Jonghyun's voice was resigned, as if he was exhausted from having to go back and forth like they always did. Jinki wanted to turn around, to run upstairs, to do anything; but he couldn't.

"Do what?" his own voice was small now, maybe even a little frightened because talking to Jonghyun always brought out things he wanted hidden.

"Why didn't you give me a chance to reply? Why do you just assume everyone hates you?" Jonghyun's grip on him tightened for a moment and then loosened, and Jinki thought Jonghyun would tell him that yes, everyone did hate him, but his body was turned around. Jinki's head snapped up at this, but he quickly looked away because just how could he possibly face Jonghyun? Jonghyun's fingers, cool and even a little damp quickly caught his face and turned it so that he had no choice but to look at the younger, and it was only when he was sure the elder was looking at him that he continued, "What happened wasn't your fault, Jinki."

"Why are you doing this?" He didn't know what pushed him to ask, but his throat felt as if he'd been swallowing rocks and there were those tears welling up behind his eyelids again.

"Taemin doesn't hate you, Kibum doesn't hate you, Minho doesn't hate you, and your manager doesn't hate you, Jinki." Jonghyun's eyes had a certain softness to them at that moment, a softness that worked like a magnet and had Jinki pulling closer because it was as if he couldn't survive without Jonghyun's reassuring presence in his life. And though there was a sadness that flooded his eyes, his lips were curved into a gentle smile that had Jinki's will melt almost completely,

"I don't hate you, Jinki."

That was all it took to demolish the rest of Jinki's will, because whenever Jonghyun spoke to Jinki, it was as if only the two of them mattered and no one else; like everyone else was just playing the role of an extra in their play. Without even realizing what he was doing, Jinki had leaned down and they were kissing again; the kind of kiss he'd only ever share with Jonghyun because that man was starting to mean so much more to him than he could have ever expected.