It was Friday and I couldn’t wait for school to be out for the day. Me and Luhan had decided to go out for another ‘date’ to keep up the façade that we were still together and doing usual couple stuff on our time off. This evening, we had decided to go out for dinner and afterwards go for a walk or something, just to get out and not stay locked up inside like we usually were. Sure, I liked staying at home with Luhan, since we could do whatever we wanted there, but at the same time, I needed to keep up with the whole fakefriend-thing and make sure that if there were anyone looking to us, they would be sure to see that we were in love with each other. And people couldn’t exactly see us when we were in one of our rooms.

Once the last lesson ended and I said goodbye to Tao who would be off to his grandmother’s house for the weekend, I hurried to Luhan’s classroom to pick him up. We’d decided to both go home to our own houses to change before going out later, but I still wanted to walk him home since that had become our thing.

Once I arrived at the door to the classroom, a few girls singled out, probably being the last ones to exit. I wondered if Luhan may have walked to his locker but then I heard voices from inside the classroom and recognized the two of them instantly.

“Luhan, are you really sure this is such a good idea?” Sehun asked in a low voice and I knew that if I hadn’t been standing exactly where I was, right beside the open door, I wouldn’t have been able to hear them.

“Yes.” Luhan said simply “and I don’t know why you mind so much! It’s my life and I can do what I want with it!”

“I know…” Sehun said “but where will this relationship even lead? He may think it’s fun to make out and all that right now but I doubt he would like to keep in contact with you once he’s certain that all of those girls will leave him be forever.”

“You don’t know him, Sehun!” Luhan said angrily “He would never do such a thing, he’s a good guy, okay?”

“A good guy who’s straight.” Sehun said bluntly.

“He told me he might not be.” Luhan said and I could feel my stomach whirl at the words. I knew I shouldn’t be listening to such a conversation since they obviously was talking about me and I knew they didn’t mean for me to hear it.

“He’s lying.” Sehun said “Don’t you see? He’ll never care for you! At least not like… like I do.”

There was a short pause, and I held my breath in, not being able to breathe. Okay I definitely shouldn’t be listening to this.

“Don’t do this again, Sehun.” Luhan said after the pause sternly “I’ve already told you what I feel.”

“Yeah… You may not feel a spark between the two of us right now, but someday, you might!” Sehun said, sounding weak.

“If there is none, there is none.” Luhan said “I’m sorry, okay? I thought you had gotten over this.”

“But I just can’t let you go!” Sehun said, sounding desperate “At least not to someone like him who’s only using you!”

“Calm down.” Luhan said and I could hear him sigh “We’re just having fun, enjoying each other’s company. It’s nothing serious, okay?” his voice sounded soft, like he somehow wanted to comfort his friend.

“We both know you don’t really feel like that.” Sehun said grumpily “If he’d been gay, you wouldn’t have hesitated to throw your whole soul and body to him.”

“What!?” Luhan said, outraged “You make me sound like I’m some kind of flimsy ! I’m still a , I would never do such a thing.”

“For now you are.” Sehun said, still in a grumpy mood “But if he’d ask you, you wouldn’t even think twice about giving it away. You’re just like your brother.”

A slap sounded through the door and I heard a gasp before hurried steps came toward the door opening, me not being able to hide and instead I stood still, dumbstruck.

Sehun came rushing out, a hand to his reddening cheek. He stared at me, first in shock to find me there, but then he angrily shoved me out of the way to get past me. I let him and instead moved in to the room where I knew Luhan was.

He had his back turned to me and I could hear soft whimpers coming from his direction. Carefully, I came closer.

“Luhan?” I said softly and he jumped at my voice before turning to me, tears in his eyes as he looked up to me.

“Oh, hi.” He said and quickly tried to dry his eyes, as if wanting to hide the tears from me. “How long have you been here?”

“I heard the whole thing.” I said to which Luhan seemed to start crying more to. “I’m sorry!” I quickly exclaimed “I didn’t mean to, I just-“

“No, it’s okay.” Luhan said, tears now dropping down his cheeks. I took a few steps closer and tried to dry them up with the hem of my blazer as best as I could, using my thumbs when needed.

“Why are you crying?” I asked, looking in to his eyes as his tears continued to drop.

“I don’t know…” Luhan confessed “I’m just angry, I guess. Angry at Sehun for saying that, and at myself for slapping him.” He stopped talking and then began crying some more, throwing himself in to my arms and pressing his head to my chest.

“He won’t want to be my friend after this, will he?” Luhan asked “I’ll be all alone.”

“No, that’s not true.” I told him, his back to comfort him “it was just a fight, you can talk it out later, I’m sure of it.”

“But you heard what he was thinking of me, he will be glad to have someone like me off his back, right?” Luhan said sadly.

“I think he was only jealous.” I told him “I don’t know what kind of relationship you’ve had but to me, it sounded like his mind was poisoned by envy, by need. He probably didn’t mean what he said.”

“But I hit him.” Luhan whimpered, tears falling in to my uniform.

“As you should have.” I told him “He was incredibly mean and if I would’ve been in your situation, I would’ve done the same. I still don’t know the whole story but I trust that if you hit him, it was for a good reason.”

“Maybe.” Luhan said, calming down in my arms. I wished I could’ve brought all of his tears out of him and turn them in to shining smiles with the help of only myself. I wished I could make him feel happier instantly and never have to spill a single tear again, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t just fix things with the flick of a wand, no matter how much I hoped.



“He confessed to me at the beginning of last year.” Luhan said, both of us on his living room floor. “It was so strange, my only friend just telling me something like that out of the blue.”

“What did you tell him?” I asked, not being able to even picture Luhan and Sehun together. It didn’t seem right to me in my brain. Luhan was such a happy guy, always smiling and laughing whenever we were together. With Sehun, though, he was always angry or glum. I could never see two people like that together.

“The truth.” Luhan said “That I didn’t feel the same, that what I needed to be together with someone was a spark and I didn’t feel that between the two of us.”

Luhan had calmed down once we’d gotten to his place and we’d made tea that neither of us had finished. They stood next to us, though, still warm.

“Then what happened?” I asked, curiosity taking over.

“He told me it was okay and then we went back to being friends like nothing had happened.” Luhan said “I thought he’d gotten over me months ago but apparently, he hadn’t.”

“He will, though.” I said “It’s not impossible and if he sees you with someone else, it will be easier. Sure, it’s never great but like that, the small hope he may keep will get crushed and he’ll move on quicker.”

“How do you know?” Luhan asked, looking at me with doubt.

“Let’s just say I have a friend who’s been in love with this girl forever and he’s not been able to let her go only because she’s been single.” I said, thinking of Tao “well, now she’s with someone and my friend may finally be able to let her go for good.”

“But Sehun knows the two of us aren’t like that.” Luhan said.

“We’ve fooled everyone else, why not fool your friend too?” I asked “he already believes that you would give up your ity to me, so it wouldn’t be that hard to trick him in to believing the fraud, too?”

Luhan blushed at my words and I knew it probably was a sensitive subject for him, his ity. I knew that I’d never cared about mine that much but since he’d gotten so offended when Sehun had mentioned it like he had, I knew it was much of a bigger deal to Luhan than it had been to myself. Then it was that comment about his brother… but I didn’t dare ask. I may just hurt him more if I did.

“Don’t worry, I don’t think of you like Sehun expressed he did.” I hurried to assure him, not wanting to hurt his feelings “I knew you wouldn’t be that carefree.”

“You do?” Luhan asked “But I let you do all those other things to my body…” he trailed of, blushing again. Still the usual Luhan, I mused, smiling.

“Yeah, but that’s because the two of us agreed on it, together.” I said “I know you wouldn’t do those things if you wouldn’t want to only because I asked you to. You’re your own person and you make your own decisions.”

“But what makes you think I wouldn’t let you take my ity?” Luhan asked, cocking his head to the right.

“I-“ I said, but there was something about his eyes that told me not to continue that sentence, so I stopped, confused.

“You would?” I asked, shocked, to which Luhan laughed.

“You do know that you aren’t that unattractive, right?” Luhan asked “And I do feel safe with you so it’s not exactly that strange, right?”

I stared at him, still shocked, not believing my own ears. He… He would let me… I stopped the thought, not wanting to get carried away with it. I refused to think of such a thing right now when the two of us had such a serious talk but I still couldn’t deny that such a thing didn’t interest me. I wasn’t made out of stone, nobody could just smoothly react to such a thing. Blurry images started to clear in my mind of me and Luhan, tangled together, both of us out of breath and-

I gulped.

“I guess not.” I said “Sorry, I just didn’t expect that.”

“Sometimes, you really are dense.” Luhan laughed and then, he surprised me with a quick kiss, making my heart jump in my chest at the touch. But my own shock didn’t matter that much because Luhan seemed to think it funny, smiling and laughing again, and if that was the price for getting him cheerful again, I would go through this every day.



We decided to go out for dinner, even though Luhan had had the fight with Sehun. In his mind, going out was crucial for him to just forget about the fight so the two of them could all lay it behind of them and continue on with their lives. There was one thing that I couldn’t let go, though. One thing Sehun had said about me.

“You do know that what Sehun was saying about me isn’t true, right?” I asked Luhan as we finished dinner.

“What?” Luhan asked, probably not having expected me to talk about it.

“That he told you that I would throw you away whenever I thought fit.” I said “I could never do that to you, and I hope you know that. You’re way to important to me.”

Luhan stopped for a moment, his chopsticks getting to a halt in the middle of the air on their way back to Luhan’s plate from his mouth. He stared at me, shocked at what I’d say.

“You didn’t actually think I would do such a thing!?” I asked, shocked myself at his reaction. “because you do really matter, Luhan! It’s not like I would ever do such a thing!”

“No, It’s not that!” Luhan said, coming back to his senses “It’s just that, well… I’ve never really felt important and…” he stopped, trying to find the words and then opened his mouth to speak again “and when you say it, I actually feel like what you’re saying is true. That I matter to you.”

“Of course you do!” I exclaimed and reached for his hand over the table, holding it tightly in mine “and even if we one day decides to just leave all of the ‘benefit’ part behind and stay as friends, I’ll still think of you as important to me.”

he smiled and responded to my hand, squeezing back.

“And you’re important to me too.” Luhan said, smiling brighter. But the weight of my own words had just then fallen in to my mind and I realized somewhere deep down that I didn’t think I could ever be just friends with Luhan. There was something about the chemistry between us that would always ignite a spark inside of me, always make my heart jump. And somehow, I knew Luhan was thinking the same.









A/N

Hello everyone! I'm sorry this chapter is so short but I wanted to get what I had written up before tomorrow since I'm pretty certain I won't be able to update any during the week! I hope you forgive me~ (And it's not even rated M... :P) 

Thank you for your nice comments!! They make me so so happy~ Lots of hugs and kisses to you all!!

I still don't know when I'll update next time since you all know I'm pretty busy with school but thank you so much for your encouragements! ^^

BYE!! :D <3