Chapter 7 – Something on your mind?

HIM

I walked into my room and threw my backpack rather violently against the wall in a corner of the room.

I thought everyone was already asleep, but Chen chose that moment to walk by and uttered “woah… someone’s having a bad day…”

I let out a tired sound that was halfway between a groan and a whimper and slumped down on my bed. “What am I gonna do??” I asked the ceiling.

He put his glass and toothbrush down on the night table and came to sit on the edge of my bed. “Wanna talk about it?”

I glanced to the left to look at Lay who was sleeping soundly. Now that Luhan was also gone, Lay had become my new roommate.  If he hadn’t woken up from my prior disturbance, it was probably safe to guess that he’d keep on sleeping through a little chatter, so I gave Chen a small nod and sat back up on the bed.

Chen was a pretty nice guy, and I suppose that, in a time of crisis, there were worse people to have around, so I decided to open up to him. Plus we’d already shared a lot since we were both in EXO-M together. So I told him about the fight with ReAh and how the whole thing just made me tired and I didn’t want to deal with it anymore. But at the same time, I still kinda liked her, and it was nice to have a girlfriend, but I didn’t really know what my feelings towards her were and the whole thing just stressed me out. ‘Just tell me what to do, please?’

He let me unfold everything and waited til I had stopped talking to speak up.

“Well you got your answer right there, Minnie. She asked if you loved her and you pretty much just said no.”

“I didn’t say no. I just didn’t answer” I pointed out, lamely.

“Same difference”

“But…”

“Well, do you love her?” he asked, looking me in the eye.

I stared back at him, taking a long time to answer and then…

“No…”

“Well there you go.”

He stared at me for a while longer and then got up and picked up his things.

“Good luck.” He said, putting a hand on my shoulder before walking off out of the room.

I sighed not looking forward to the breakup call I’d have to have with ReAh.

I took a quick shower and went to bed, but sleep wouldn’t come. I picked up my phone and scrolled through my various apps, trying to find something to do that would put me to sleep and I noticed the “google maps” icon in my recently used apps list, so I clicked it. The address for Junyan Girls popped up and it made me think about Sora again. Sora was so different from ReAh. I was a different person back then too, but I was so in love with her; madly in love. I would’ve done anything for her. I almost did. Being with her never felt like a chore. I would’ve never ignored her calls like I did ReAh’s, and if she had asked to see me in the middle of the night, even if it meant I would have to spend the next day with no sleep, I would’ve done it in an instant if it meant spending a few more minutes with her. I guess Chen was right… I did have my answer. I really didn’t love ReAh…

I sighed and put my phone away, then rolled over on my side, trying to let sleep find me.

***

It was almost winter. I’d spent the whole day in the studio with the boys, practicing for our monthly evaluation which was coming up. Maybe if we really blew them away this time, they would let us debut. Or at least, I hoped so. It was a little chilly outside so I pulled my jacket in a little closer and hiked my backpack up a bit more before walking down the stairs. My dorm apartment was not far but it was still a good 20 minutes’ walk away.

When I got there she was sitting on the steps in front of my apartment. Her cheeks were red from the cold. How long had she been sitting there, waiting for me? “Seokie!!!” she called, her face bursting into a smile as she jumped up and ran towards me. I nearly toppled backwards as she threw herself at me and wrapped her arms around my neck.

“Sora?! But, but, what are you doing here?!!” I sputtered. I was so shocked to see her. My heart was beating a million miles an hour. Was this for real? She was gone. She had left. She had torn my heart into a thousand pieces. But no, there she was, in my arms. Warm, alive, real.

“I missed you…” she said, touching her forehead to mine and looking at me with eyes that said ‘please, I’m sorry’.

I couldn’t bear it anymore, so I kissed her. I brought my lips to her, roughly, hungrily, and kissed her like I’d wanted to so much over the past few months. It was electric and magical, and everything everyone always says a kiss should be. Nothing else mattered, my Sora was here.

My eyes popped wide open as I heard the beeping alarm on my phone go off. Lay groaned from his side of the room telling me to shut it off. My heart was beating wildly and I was confused for a moment. Then I reached for the phone and turned it off.

Woah. It had been so long since I’d had that dream. Years. It was a recurring dream I’d started having as soon as Sora left for England. The setting varied, but it was always the same: I’d come home from training and she’d be there waiting for me. Telling me that she’d come back because she couldn’t live without me. I’d had it nearly every night for months. And then, slowly, less… once a month… and then only every once in a while, until it had finally stopped.

I was a complete wreck after she left me. For a time, I tried to stay in touch with some of our old friends to learn how she was doing in England. I knew I was just torturing myself and it was just doing more hurt than good, but I couldn’t stop. I held on for nearly a whole year. I think part of me thought that she would come back after a year, and that maybe, if she saw that I had waited for her all this time, she would come back to me. But one day, her cousin told me that he’d heard Sora had made a new boyfriend in England, and that of course, since she was on a scholarship, she was planning to stay there for the whole duration of her degree, and my heart just broke all over again. We’d been over for nearly a year, but still, part of me had been holding on to that tiny ray of hope. But she had a boyfriend. She had moved on, and I hadn’t. It hurt so much.

I gave myself a shake and took a deep breath. Why was I thinking about all that stuff again after all that time?

I walked into the kitchen to see that some of my group members where already up. D.O. hovered around the stove, cooking something that smelled delicious.

“Morning! You want some?” he asked without looking up.

I peered over his shoulders to see he was making fried rice and smiled, giving him the thumbs up. I walked over to the coffee maker and turned in on. “You want one?” I asked him, and he nodded too.

A few minutes later, I was sitting at the table, inhaling the delicious aroma of my coffee and D.O. came over, carrying a big pot full of pork-fried-rice and a container of cutlery.

“Ok, those who want to eat, come now!” he called out loudly, as he placed everything at the center of the table.

Suho dropped the manga that he’d been reading on the couch and jumped up eagerly, pulling up a chair next to me and starting to scoop up some rice in a bowl immediately. Sehun and Kai’s butts however, remained firmly planted on the other couch, where they were both immersed in playing some silly shooting game on our giant TV.

“FOOD!” called out D.O. again, but neither of them moved so he just shrugged, pulling up a chair and sitting down.

“Thanks for the food, Kyungsoo-ah,” I told D.O., grabbing a bowl, and he gave me a cute smile.

For a while, the only sounds in the room came from our spoons scraping our bowls, and the shooting noises coming from the TV. As well as the occasional grunt or moan coming from the two idiots on the couch.

“Where are the others?” I asked.

“Baek’s on the computer. He’s working on a song, I think. Thinks he just about got it he said. I swear, he never even went to bed last night” said Suho between mouthfuls.

“and Tao, Channie and Chen left earlier since they wanted food from the café next door” added D.O.

“and I’m here” added Lay, as he shuffled sleepily to our table. He sat down and grabbed D.O.’s mug before taking a sip.

“Hey! That’s mine!” warned D.O. snatching his mug back and giving him a look.

Lay just gave him a sleepy smile. D.O. rolled his eyes but let it go. No one can ever really be mad at Lay.

“What time do we have to be there?” Lay went on to ask, “Do I have time for a shower?”

D.O. looked at his watch and made a face, “well, maybe if you hurry. We gotta be there at 9:00” he told him, so Lay nodded, pushed back his chair and jogged to the bathroom.

“I guess I should go get ready too. Thanks for the food!”

I came back to my room feeling rather refreshed and dressed up quickly. I still couldn’t shake the dream though. So once I was done, I grabbed my phone and looked at the address in google maps again. There was a phone number too. Oh a whim, I just pushed the call button.

It rang.

‘What am I doing?’

“Junyan Girls Academy, Kim Ji-Eun speaking, how may I help you?”

Crap, someone had picked up before I could actually hang up.

“Hum, yes… is there a Miss Cheon Sora who works at your school?” I asked, nervously.

“Miss Cheon?” the woman replied, “Just a moment.” And then she paused for several seconds, while I could hear the background noises of a busy staffroom behind her, “ah, I’m sorry, she’s got homeroom right now. If you’d like to leave a message, I’ll make sure she calls you back”

“Oh no, it’s not important,” I told her, trying to sound casual, “I’ll call again. Thank you.”

And then I hung up.

Crap, she really was working there.

HER

I was fuming.

It was Friday afternoon.
 

I’d given him the test papers on MONDAY.
 

FOUR DAYS AGO.

And he was just coming back to me now, telling me that he didn’t like the questions for the comprehension part of the test so I should redo it. The test was Monday!!! And by “him”, I meant Mr. Oh, the head of the English department. I don’t know why he was head though. In reality, he was just a grumpy old man who didn’t seem to like his job at all, and usually waited until the last minute to do anything, like now. Unfortunately, we had get to get everything approved by him before we even started printing our tests, and now, our dear Mr. Oh had decided that the work we had all done (he hadn’t even lent any kind of help, mind you) was not good enough. Aaaargh, I was so angry.

As the hours ticked by, one by one, teachers excused themselves from the staffroom for the weekend. Around 7pm, he strolled by my desk, asking if I was done because he had an appointment to get to (the nerve!) and glanced over my notes for about 10 seconds before saying to me “yes, I suppose that’ll do. Just redo the format and you can print it up.”

I had a mental image of myself standing up and wrangling his scrawny neck as I yelled at him, but what I actually said was, “of course, sir. Have a nice weekend”. And he waved at me as he took off.

I sighed, looking at my watch.

“Cheon-shi, you’re not leaving?” someone asked me, a while later.

The voice belonged to one of the math teachers, Mr. Kim Daeyong. He was a rather fashionable younger teacher who wore black rectangular glasses on his nose, and his short hair all gelled-up. I suppose he was reasonably attractive (if you like your men as tall as giants) but he was just a co-worker, and we only occasionally chatted since his desk was right across from mine.

“I can’t. I have to reformat the whole test and then print everything…” I told him, rather embarrassed.

“It’s not printed yet?!” he asked in surprise.

I shook my head. I didn’t want to be the girl who talked badly about her coworkers so I didn’t mention that it was all Mr. Oh’s fault, even though I really wanted to.

“That’s really too bad…” he told me, “I hope you don’t end up staying here too late. Take care!”

He gave me a kind smile and then was out the door too. I looked around the room and saw that I was the only person left. I sighed and returned to work.

HIM

We were on a music countdown show tonight, promoting our new song. After the end of the program, most of the guys decided to go to dinner together, but I wasn’t feeling like it so I just asked them to drop me off at the dorm. I’d been in a weird mood all day because of that stupid dream, and the call to Sora’s school this morning. I thought I should eat something, so I went into the kitchen and opened the fridge, but nothing tempted me so I just ended up making myself a cup of coffee and sat at the table, sipping it.

It was kinda weird being in here all by myself, but the peace and quiet sure was nice and refreshing. I sat there, alone with my thoughts, until suddenly, an idea popped in my head and I bolted out of my chair. I picked up a set of keys by the door and took the elevator down to the basement parking lot. I walked to the bike parking and unlocked my bike. I hadn’t gone on a ride in quite a while and I thought that the exercise and fresh air would help me clear my head.

It would be lying to myself if I said I didn’t know exactly where I was going. And, sure enough, about 20 minutes later, I ended up staring at the front gates of Junyan Academy for Girls from the other side of the street. This was where Sora worked.

I was slightly out of breath from having pedaled here so fast, but it was probably not the only reason my heart was beating unsteadily. I hadn’t seen her in 5 years, and now, out of nowhere, I had found her again. Of course, there was no reason to be nervous. It was nearly 10pm, and the whole school building was dark, so there was no way that a chance encounter was going to happen tonight but…

My eyes widened. Across, the street, I saw a small door open through the school gate to let someone out. She waved at the security guard and started walking towards the sidewalk. There was no way… no… it wasn’t possible… but yet, right there, only a few meters away from me, there was Sora. There was my lost high school love.

I felt my pulse rise up in my chest. What should I do? She was right there. I had forgotten how beautiful she was. No, wait, scratch that. She was even more beautiful than I remembered. Her hair now reached all the way to the middle of her back, and the little girl I knew had transformed into a woman, with curves and a kind of poise that had definitely not been there the last time I’d seen her. She was dressed in fashionably professional clothes and just looked so… good. She passed right in front of me across the street without noticing anything, and then kept on walking towards the subway station.

All I could do was stare at her, my feet glued to the sidewalk.