Chapter 1 – Two worlds apart

HER

My name is Cheon Sora and I’m a 2^nd year teacher at Junyan Academy for Girls in Seoul. Incidentally, it’s also my 2^nd year teaching. I quite like it.

Since I’m not from Seoul, and I didn’t have that much money when I got this job, I had to live in teacher housing all last year. Teacher housing is not a bad idea in theory; it’s good because it’s near the school, and super cheap, but – although I have nothing against my coworkers – I really don’t want to see them 24 hours a day and have them gossip about every little aspect of my personal life… So I saved money all year, and finally, I was able move out.

Moving was kind of a hassle though, and since everything is so busy at the start of the year, I had to wait until the end of April to do the big switch; but it was definitely worth it! I love my new place! It’s really small, but it’s in a nice little area and I’m only four subway stops away from Hongdae. There seems to be a lot of families living here, and so it feels pretty safe too, which is one of the reasons I picked it. Also it’s so quiet it doesn’t even feel like I’m in Seoul at all. It almost feels like home.

The inside of my place looks a little sorry at the moment though. Since everything was rental in the teacher dorms, I have no furniture; just a futon in a corner, my computer and a lot of cardboard boxes. Opening them at this point seems kind of pointless, but I was bored so I decided to poke into some of them anyways. Actually, a lot of these boxes, I haven’t seen in 5 years. There was no room for all my stuff in the teacher housing, but now that I’ve got my own place, my mother’s sent me a bunch of stuff that she said she was sick of keeping in storage for me… (mothers...)

I ran a hand across one of the boxes. It said “books” in big black marker on the side.

You might be wondering why I said I hadn’t seen these boxes in 5 years, since I’ve only been living in Seoul for one year (and a few months)… It’s because my mom forced me to pack all my things away when I went off to university. She wanted to turn my room into a rental guest room. My mom was cheap like that – always thinking about money. Still, I love her. And growing up with her taught me how to not be trivial with my money. I guess I should thank her for… Anyways, I digress. I studied abroad in London for 3 years and it was amazing. Sometimes, it still feels unreal that I’m back in Korea. So many things have changed since I left.

I opened the box and browsed through my old books, flipping the pages, smiling at the memories. Then I spotted a thin book with a pink cover in the corner and grabbed it excitedly. It was an old diary and I got kinda excited to read the kinds of silly things I wrote in there as a teenager. But as I opened it, something fell out. A picture. I bent to pick it up and looked at it for a long time, nostalgia bubbling up inside my chest.

It was a self-taken Polaroid picture (before selfies were even a thing) of two teenagers laughing, in what appeared to be a park. The boy had unruly, short-ish black hair and was grinning at the camera. He had an adorable, childlike face, with chubby cheeks and giant eyes that often caused people to mistake him for much younger than he was. It made the girl behind him look mature, though they were the same age. She had straight black hair that went just past her shoulders, a really normal looking face (ok, I guess you could say she was sorta pretty…), and she too was smiling, with her arms wrapped around the boy’s neck, flashing the peace sign. That girl was me.

I remembered it like it was yesterday.

There was a park that we loved to visit in our hometown. There aren’t so many ways to waste time when you’re 18 and you have no money, living in a small town like we did. So we’d go to the park. I say park, but don’t think a place where people bring their kids to play, no, no, no. It was a lovely place, full of green in the summer, with a bike path that ran through it and a little pond where a family of turtles lived, and park benches here and there where you could stop to rest.

Our favourite place to squat was a bench under a little protective roofed structure by the pond. We’d often hide there when it rained, or we would just sit there on sunny days and watch the water sparkle as the turtles swam lazily. It was sunny that day, and he had his head on my lap and was chirping away, telling me a story as I his hair. I thought I could never be happier. Then he’d taken out the camera and had snapped that picture.

I remembered it well, because that was the day just before the beginning of the end.

My happy nostalgia turning sour, I stuffed the picture back into the book and tossed it back in the box.

*****

HIM

Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like if I hadn’t decided to become an idol.

Lightbulbs flashed and cameras snapped as we exited the arrival gates at the airport. A mob of people waited for us, as always, pushing against the measly protective barrier that several security guards were trying to create around us. “Xiumin, give us a smile! Sehun, say hello!” the photographers called. “Over here! Over here!” they called, in hopes of capturing their money shot. And the girls cried “Oppa! Oppaaaa!!! Saranghae!!”

Yes, what would my life be like if I had made a different decision back then? If I had given it all up? If I had never joined this band? You see, My name is Xiumin and I’m a member of one of the most popular idol groups in Korea at the moment. Behind Big Bang, anyways. We’re EXO. We’re really big in Asia, and have a lot of fans in the rest of the world too. It’s a little crazy. Though I remember a time when it wasn’t always like this.

The 9 other members and I were all dead from 5 intense days of promotion in China, and all I could think about was how much I wanted my bed. But there were the paparazzi, and there were the fans, so I put on my best smile, and tried to stay awake. I looked at Tao, who walked beside me and wished that I’d had the foresight to wear sunglasses like he did. At least they’d hide the bags under my eyes. Aaahh… honestly, I usually try my best to always be cheerful for the fans, but on days like today, sometimes I just wish people would leave me alone. Like, for 5 seconds. But it’s not really in me to be rude, so I say nothing. I smile and I wave. I am cute Xiumin.

That’s not my real name by the way. My name is Kim Min Seok. I’m from a small town in Gyeonggi, and I’m almost 25. I’m the oldest in my band, but often get confused as the baby because of my round face and big eyes. I used to hate it, but, if I didn’t have this face, I probably wouldn’t be here right now.

It took us 10 minutes to get outside and reach our van. 10 minutes to cross about 100 meters. Yup. I managed to gather an armful of letters and presents on the way – I always try to, even though our managers don’t like it– and at least those girls seemed so happy about it that it warmed my heart. Finally, we all trooped into the van and then we were off. Home sweet home.

Everyone was quiet on the car ride back to our dorm. Well, except Suho who was chatting with our manager, but he sat at the front and I could barely hear him. Baekyun, Chanyeol and Lay were asleep within seconds, while most of the others were on their phones or listening to music. D.O. was the only one reading a book; how did he even find the strength?? And I just stared outside the window while the grey concrete scenery passed us by.

As soon as we got home, I called dibs on the shower and then crashed on my bed. It was still pretty early in the evening, and since we didn’t have any other schedules that day (thank god), I promptly passed out.