Autumn 2003

I was your shadow. I protected you from things you didn't like in the darkness. All your friends thought it was awesome; an older oppa doing whatever you wished. 

Of course things were far more complicated. 

I craved for your forgiveness, while the only thing you gave me was that cold glare of yours that pierced my tiny broken heart.

I was ten while you were this pretty eight year old girl. I don't really think you understood the weird relationship we had, but at my age i already understood how wrong that was, but the funny thing was that i didn't even care.

I usually waited at the entrance of school for you to go out, then silently i would follow your steps as we made our way home. Of course only a few meters away, so i wouldn't annoy you. I freaking escorted you everywhere, like a ing stalker, since honestly i hadn't many friends. None to be exact.

There was this girl who always looked at you the wrong way. Must have been envy since you were pretty and always played with the boys, seeing you were a beautiful little tomboy. And i am not even kidding when i say that i felt attracted to you even then.  Because hey, how more ridiculous can i get? 

This girl one day decided to pull your braided hair in front of the whole cafeteria, making you fall with your food trait. She was a mean little and deserved what happened to her. 

You didn't cry or even flinch, you knew better than that. And i was so proud of my little psychopath. I hope that didn't sound as creepy as i thought.       You didn't look mad. The only thing you did was direct your stare towards me. And i understood. Cause we didn't need words to understand, we didn't need actions, we knew each other so much it wasn't necessary.

The next day i grabbed a pair of scissors and cut her hair. All of it, until she looked like a freaking monkey on crack. 

I gained a suspension for two weeks and a black eye thanks to my grandma.  But it was worth it. It was worth so much. Because three days later, at the middle of midnight, you sneaked through my window and snuggled with me in my bed. 

You didn't speak, not that i minded. You silently hugged me while i played with your long, soft hair. I didn't sleep, i watched you sleep and something deep inside me grew. I didn't know what it was but i could feel it, it went through my veins and filled my mind and heart. I could feel it in my bones and it was crushing me.

I think i had never felt so loved before.