"So don't leave me this way. Oh baby, my heart is full of love and desire for you."

- The Communards

18. Aching Hearts

Nobody said it would be easy.

Easy to forget and move on, so it was not. The day right after a breakup is the worst they say, and Somin could agree. Indeed, it was one hell of a nightmare to wake up because of an alarm ringing cruelly in her ears, only to realize she had to get up and continue life. It was difficult for her to look at herself in the mirror when she had been called worthless and insecure the day before, but she forced a smile at her own reflection and breathed in deeply in order to convince herself that others’ opinion about her didn’t matter. She knows herself, and she is proud of who she is and her insecurities, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t painful. It hurt. It hurt like hell. And there is nothing she can do to ease her pain.

It was almost impossible to swallow her sandwich of a breakfast, but she still did. What was even worse, was seeing her best friend sitting at the table, munching on some cornflakes, and receiving pitiful looks. Somin didn’t want pity. This pitiful and sad face only reminded her that she shouldn’t be happy. It reminded her of the night before and that something had gone wrong. She wanted her friend to act normal, so that she herself could fall into the act. But that didn’t happen. Haera was quiet all along, she didn’t try cheering up her friend even once. Perhaps because she herself was lost in her own thoughts of pity and guilt. Perhaps she was still so unsteady she had no energy to console somebody other than herself.

The short walk to the University was quiet and quite nerve-wrecking. Somin was feeling nervous and scared thinking of how she’ll face her ex if they ever come face to face. She hopes he doesn’t she her. If only she knew… her prayer was answered to before she had made it.

Mira met them half-way in the parking lot.

“Yo es, what’s up?” She stopped in-front of the two and studied Somin closely.

“You’re actually here before time, wow, what a pleasant surprise,” Haera teased, trying to smile a little.

“Yeah, yeah, I came for my darling” Mira bit her lip, she didn’t know how to do this, so she did what occurred first in her mind. She engulfed Somin in a bear hug and brushed her hands up and down her back.

The embraced girl was startled, until she heard her friend whispering compassionately.

“I heard,” She said, she had indeed heard what had happened. Haera had called her to inform she shouldn’t mention Kim Hyun Joong in front of Somin anymore, but she wasn’t going to comply.

“Yeah, well…..” Somin muttered uneasily. What was she supposed to tell her? That she was alright? Fine? But she didn’t want to lie.

“I know you’re not alright,” Mira her hair, “But I’m here if you want to talk.”

That’s exactly what Somin needed to hear. She needed somebody to tell her they were there to listen to her problems, to pick up her broken-pieces and glue them together. She needed people to openly show they cared.

A little smile crept on her face and she whispered; “I know,”

Mira wasn’t going to force her into talking about him, but she couldn’t help but show her anger towards him either. “And remember, his loss is another man’s gain. There are a lot of fishes in the sea, more beautiful, more deserving than that stinky mackerel!”

Somin giggled, Mira was able to fix her mood within small seconds. She might be stupid and rebellious at times, but her good sides overpowered every lacking.

Haera couged from the side, and the two entangled looked at her questiongly. “No hugs for me?”

“Come here you dopey,” Mira snickered and pulled the pouting girl into their embrace, and they stood there for what seemed like minutes- just hugging each other and laughing in-between themselves. It reminded them of how it used to be for them before they had met the boys- just them, private and closed.

They didn’t let go of each other until two other throats cleared themselves.

“Hugging without me ladies?” Hyung Jun smiles at the three and Kyu Jong just stands there- clearly upset.

Hyung Jun’s smile isn’t returned to when Mira advances forwards and grits her teeth at the two boys- mistaking them for intending on hurting her friend. “Why are you here?”

His smile falls hurriedly. “What do you mean why are we here?”

The girl laughs without humour, “Don’t play so dumb. If you are here to blame Somin, you can back off already.”

Kyu Jong raised his eyebrow, slightly angered. He didn’t like this woman thinking badly of him without a reason. “Why would we do that?”

“You’re friends with that bastard aren’t you?” She put her hands on her hips. “So it’s only natural you’re here to taunt Somin.”

Kyu Jong shakes his head- disappointed she thinks so lowly of him when they’ve been nothing but good friends the past months. “Just because Hyung has been a bastard, doesn’t mean we’ll follow in his footprints Mira.”

His words touches Somin’s heart. She had believed they’d support their friend and forget her, but here they are, supporting her? She wasn't going to lose friends- like she had thought she would! 

“Y-you don’t hate me?” She asks carefully.

“Of course not! Why would we do that!” Hyung Jun shakes his head, as if what Somin has said is completely ridiculous. And yes it sounds ridiculous to him- he’d never leave a friend like Somin just to show support to his cruel cousin who has only taunted him most of the times.

“I just thought…….” She trailed off and looked at her feet.

“Are you alright?” Kyu Jong asks, sincerely worried. He knows Somin has strong feelings for his hyung, it must have been hard for her.

Hyung Jun is the one to reply instead of the girl herself. “She will be fine in no time”

Haera wishes nothing but for Hyung Jun’s words to be true. She wishes for Somin to move on, forget Hyun Joong. That will the best for all of them.

“It’s not that easy Hyung Jun.” Mira disagrees.

“Yes it is,” He argues back, “Especially when you have somebody like me, waiting to love you,” It sounded like his usual teasing, but somewhere deep inside, he was indeed ready to replace his cousin. If only Somin gives him a chance…..

“Hitting on her already huh?”

“Sure am,” He grins widely “But seriously, I’ll love you whenever, wherever,” He winks his eye and pulls Somin to his chest before she can send him a deathly glare. Okay, he has always been teasing her when he gets the chance, but now he’ll have an even bigger reason to do so. Somin knows he’ll make her life a living hell by hitting on her so freely, now that she is single and has no one around her to protect her from him

“Hyung Jun!” She hisses and tries prying his hands off her- but he will have no of it. He simply embraces her tighter, moves his mouth to her ear, and whispers slowly, suggestively. He believes a little Hyung Jun medicine is what Somin needs to recover from her breakup.

“Seriously Bambi,” His breath tickles her neck, “I’ll love you however you want,”

Somin is gagging already when he says his next words. “I can be gentle, I can be rough, whatever you prefer me to be.”

She kicks his shin in disgust and he jumps back and groans in pain. “Auch, auch!!”

“You !”

“Take it easy woman!” He yells back and rubs his aching shin.

“You are so erted Kim Hyung Jun!” Mira steps close to his face, meaning every word she says. “That’s not how you’re going to get her, you are simply disgusting!”

“I am disgusting?” He scrunches his nose in disagreement, “Says the one who asked for a six-some the night whe-“

“Okay, okay, stop!” Mira screams in embarrassment, remembering that night when she had asked the East Coasters for a favour. She had been drunk at the time, but her friends had filled her in the next day. “You don’t need to bring that up all the time!”

Hyung Jun chuckles, he enjoys teasing her, she is a good match to his personality. “Just so you know, I am still up for that offer.”

The three spectators roll their eyes, knowing well what is to come next.

“Alright, you two carry on, we’ll just leave for class.” Somin informs and walks away quickly with Haera and Kyu Jong hot on her trail.

The three rushed inside before hell broke out behind them, and the girls were chatting lightly when Kyu Jong decided to interrupt.

"Haera?" He called softly, and the girl turned around to face him.

“Yes Oppa?” She smiled at him and brushed back a strand of hair that had escaped from her ponytail.

“I was wanting to talk to you about Young Saeng Hyung.”

Her smile changed into a frown almost immediately, and Somin noticed the tension building up between the two, so she turned around to walk away- wanting to give them some privacy, since the matters were none of her business, but Haera stopped her by gripping her arm.

“No, stay” she said without removing her eyes from Kyu Jong’s. “What about him?”

He brushed his fingers through his locks before replying. “I know this is not of my business, but could you call him? He’s worried about you.”

“He has nothing to worry about.” She tells him coldly.

“Oh yeah?” Kyu Jong chuckles humourlessly, “You’re ignoring his calls, his text-messages when you know he can’t come meet you, and you’re still saying he has nothing to worry about?”

Young Saeng hadn’t been outside of the warehouse ever since he was targeted, and as much as he wishes to see his girl- he couldn’t because of his wound. He wouldn’t be able to get back to university before months later, Haera knew, but she hadn’t made any effort on keeping contact or visiting him for the past week.

“It’s none of your business, like you said, so I suggest you drop this conversation.” Haera bit at him, she didn’t like that Young Saeng’s friend was intervening in their relationship. He had no right to talk to her as if she was doing something cruel. She was doing nothing wrong- this was for her own well-being and she believed everyone has the right to think selfishly at times.

“I would have, hadn’t it been for Hyung’s request of bringing you to him. He’s sick, and you ignoring him doesn’t make his condition any better.”

“She wouldn’t do that.” Somin looked between the two arguing.

“What?”

“Haera wouldn’t ignore Young Saeng.” Somin doesn’t believe that Haera would ignore Young Saeng intentionally. Sure she had been hysterical the past week and needed time for herself, but she had a good damn reason for that too. It’s not easy to get over being captured, harassed and used as a bait. Neither is it easy to witness people dying and hurting in front of your very eyes. 

“She just did Somin, ask her.”

The accused girl shifted uncomfortably in her skin when her friend focused her eyes on her.

“You didn’t try avoiding Young Saeng, right? You’ve been studying, that’s why-“

“No Jasmine,” Haera took a deep breath and gritted her teeth afterwards. “I did, and I did it purposely.” She was firm in her ground, no regret or remorse in her voice.

“Oh…..”

“How can you do that to him?” Kyu Jong was suddenly angry at this woman. He had seen his friend bawling over this girl the entire week. How did she have the heart to wound him like this? Why would she?

She shrugged, as if that was the most natural thing to do, and that made him even angrier, so when he spoke this time- there was only authority in his voice.

“You need to go see him. Today.”

“I don’t need to do anything!” She shouted in annoyance.

Somin brushed her arm lightly, not happy they had caught the attention of others in the hallway. “Relax Haera,”

She stomped her feet and tears streamed down her cheeks now. “How can I?” Her voice was shaking of anger and pain- this was too damn difficult for her. “He is making me sound like a witch! I don’t have any responsibility towards his friend, why is he saying these things?”

“For God’s sake!” Kyu Jong snapped and stepped closer to her, now looking more intimidating than he has ever before. “You’re his woman and you say there is no responsibility?!”

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