STILL A FLASHBACK

Krystal POV

It's been half an hour already that Jessica's embracing me back. I can't look at her in the eyes the moment she hurriedly come to my side. I was just crying because I know what I've did to her previously cannot be forgiven, and to discover sacrifices she had made for me, I'm so guilty. She was rubbing my back the entire time not asking me anything about what had happen between me and Auntie. To be honest, when I got myself back home I was already decided that I won't be leaving this home. Because it is where Jessica is, and I don't want to leave her any longer. I've decided to ask for forgiveness but when she's already in front of me I can't even say the words.

“I love you, Soo Jung” I was snapped back to reality when she said that and felt her hold to me tightens more. I can feel her love, but somehow I felt there's another emotion put into it. She's trembling and her voice was asking for sympathy and understanding. Is she scared of something right now? I didn't leave her though, or was it because she was longing for my embrace as well? Not asking the reason behind it, I return the action to her.

"Unnie" I called, it was all sudden but I feel like I should call her that again. It's my way of saying sorry to her and let her feel that she's also wanted by me. I don't want her to feel that I hate her any longer, I admit there's still frustrations towards her but still, I want her to feel that I'll be here now and forever by her side. Also I feel like she'll feel better the moment I say back what I used to call her before.

I heard her chuckle and she pulled out from our intimate position. She looked at me in the eyes and I feel like I was under spell when I did the same.

"Welcome home, Jung SooJung" She smiled at me and I swear it was one full of sincerity. I was caught in a trance and I can feel my tears welling up again in my eyes.

"I-I'm..." I was lost of words, I want to apologize. Damn brain, why can't you just say the words?

"I promise I won't let you go anymore. Even if you try to ask me to in the future, I won't ever do it again. So I'm sorry Soo Jung, your unnie wasn't strong enough back then. But right now, I swear I would do anything for you, just ask me and your wish is my command!"

I don't know how to answer that. But I like how she's not asking the sudden change of my behavior. I really am not good in getting pried because of it, I'm too embarrassed.

------

A week later

Jessica POV

“Jessica, this is where I'm working.” Hyoyeon turned to me. Her voice standouts despite the loud music inside this club we're at. I let my eyes wander around the area and I can see several erted old men lusting over the female bodies dancing around. I can feel my heart going crazy, I'm so nervous at the same time disgusted. Just thinking of those strangers' hands touching me, I feel like killing myself already after getting the money and give it to Krystal.

I came to Hyoyeon after a week and asked if she's really serious about her offer. And it didn't took long for her to return the question back at me. Am I ready? I mean, what the hell have I been thinking! I'm insane, but this is what I wanted. I want to get lots of money right away so I could buy the life my sister would want to live. I can't think of anything else, it's as if Krystal would slowly slip away from my hands again if I don't do something urgent. Our relationship recently may not be the ideal but at least it was better than before. I'm contented about it, I feel like a part of her family, I'm already happy about it. Which is why I really need to find us money, and this is the only way I could think of.

“I-I see. I guess I'll be here for a while huh?” I replied, unaware that my voice was cracking. Then I heard Hyoyeon chuckled.

“Jess! I told you, you don't need to push yourself into this job. I was just stating that there is actually a job like this in the world, but that doesn't mean you really need to get it!”

“N-nope. I really need this Hyo. I know I may be trembling or whatever, but...- I really need this.” I sounded like I'm begging. I wanna curse myself.

“Just so you know, you're not just trembling. Truth is, you're pale white! I don't think you can even handle when things get started! Come on, I'll bring you back to your home.” She grabbed my hand and pull me with her. We took a few steps and my brain started working again.

“S-stop! Stop it! Hyo!” I swung my hand from her grab and she turned back at me with a confused look.

“Jessi! Let--” I cut her off right away because I don't want to hear anything from her anymore.

“Look. I'll be fine! You know exactly why I'm doing this right? This isn't even what I wanted but I feel like I needed to. And here you are, completely blocking me out. I've already drank all my pride here Hyo, how can you tell me to get out when I've already set aside my morals for this? For money?!” I was totally furious with her actions. Although I know that she's doing this due to her concern for me, but truth be told. It's making me more guilty for coming up to this decision. I wanted to forget everything for now, but Hyoyeon herself was making it more difficult. She's into this business right? Then why can't she just teach me how things work instead of blocking me off. She should have understood what it feels like. It's hell!

“Jessica. Calm down, alright? I'm just worried. I know you might be thinking that I'm ing you around, that I don't understand what's going on in your mind. Heck, I'm even the one who gave you ideas about this work. Still, I'm your friend Jess. I know what's supposed to be good and not for you. And I can see you're not yet ready about this. So I just want to give you more time to think about it. Like, really really think about it.” She said to me with a very sincere tone of voice. I know she's worried about me, and so am I. I'm really grateful towards her concern, but at this moment of time she should have just given me support. I needed it more than sympathy now.

“Sorry Hyo. For my behavior, I know you're just concerned. And I'm grateful towards you. Still..” Perhaps I was giving her weird expression that she cut me off speaking.

“It's alright. I'm not really going to push you out in here if you have really decided. But you know, at least when I give you more time to think, maybe next time you come here you won't be trembling as hell. You might scare customers instead of giving them pleasure. I hope now I'm clear.”

“Yeah. Sorry. And thanks for understanding.”

–

After my encounter with Hyo at the club, I went home right away. I've decided to take her offer for me to think more about it. I was sure before, but Hyo's giving me a hard time. To be honest, I'm scared. I don't even know what will happen to me and my body once it all started. I don't even have the idea how to give pleasure to any body. Heck, I've been a my entire life. And to think about giving my ity to someone I don't even dream about makes my stomach turn upside down. I feel like I really want to cry. When I look at my hands, I can see why Hyo wanted to give me more time to think. I was really trembling hard at the thought. Am I really ready for this? Just look at me how far I could go in considering this kind of job opportunity for the sake of my promises to Krystal.

And speaking of my beloved little sister, as I was walking my path to our house, a car stopped suddenly at my side. To my surprise it was Krystal and her friend that were inside. My eyes met Krystal's who's sitting at the passenger seat in front. Come to think of it, we've been fine all this while after that encounter with Auntie. We haven't argue and we haven't spoke so much to each other neither. But still, it was improving day by day. Remembering how tight she was holding me back then, it made me hope that she actually really wanted to be with me despite it all.

“Hey, you can hop in. I'm sending Krystal back to her house, come along!” It was nice of her to really offer me a ride at home, I feel like wanting to take the chance. Coz I'm out of energy already just by thinking of my decisions over my 'future job', but then I realized that Krysta's friends don't know who I really am. I might even bother my little sister's ride with her friend, I don't want to get in her way. I don't want to cause anger and frustrations for her, so I'm gonna decline now.

“I'm fine. The house is somewhere near now anyway, besides I like taking a walk.” I returned the smile at Amber and my eyes went for Krystal's. I hope I did a great job giving her freedom ride, but I was a bit surprised that I can see disappointment on her features. Or am I just imagining things? Probably.

“Aw. You should have taken the offer. Krystal was the one who saw you on the way, and pleased me to take you in. Poor Krys, she's being declined by her helper now.” I was shocked at that, I don't believe it. Did Krystal really? And when I turn my gaze towards Krystal, she was blushing out of embarrassment and nudging Amber to start driving already. And right there I could feel like Amber was telling the truth, but why would my little sister offer such? I mean, I'm just a helper to her and her friends. I was really confused, but my hope about having my sister to love me as a family shone.

“Anyways see you later.” I said to her and watched them driving their way while I started walking again with a slight happiness building upon my being. I can't believe I'm this happy over something so little. I slightly forgot about my problems.

When I reached home, Amber's car was around the house so I'm expecting that Krystal isn't home alone. I guess they've been here for 15 minutes early.

I sneak in our house, I don't want to disturb Krystal's time with her friend. I can hear them laughing so there's no need for me to announce I'm home, since that I might cause to end their happiness. Especially Krystal's. But to my surprise again, Amber noticed me and I feel like wanting to hide somewhere else.

“Why are you sneaking around. If I didn't see you, we might think there's some burglar around that came inside the house. Krys, is your helper always like this?” She asked my little sister and I'm not even looking their way. I'm afraid I've became a hindrance to Krystal's fun.

“She's right unnie. You should call me out when you reach home” Krystal said and I feel like my heart's on fire. Did she really said that? And calling me unnie in front of her friend? I made my eyes look at her with much appreciation towards her kind approach.

“Unnie? You're calling her that? I mea