STILL A FLASHBACK

Jessica POV

“Tiffany will come to the club tomorrow night. She agreed to meet you and everything that comes after. Better get yourself ready, young lady!”

This was the message I received from Hyoyeon right after I got home. Tomorrow, it is. The start of my ruined life, the experience of hell, my soulless being. I may be damned about this decision I've made, but it is the only solution I could ever come up with to having Krystal in my life. I will do everything and anything that could give my little sister the life she could ever wish for. I don't want her to regret choosing me over Auntie, nor her wishing me dead again. I promised, and this is the consequence of keeping it. It's worth the risk, just to have Krystal in my life.

But of course, she shouldn't know. Because I know exactly that she'll despise me, and get disgusted. No one needs to know, and I should be careful in the future as well. Now, I wonder what will be her real reaction if she'll ever discover. Will she pity me and console me? Or will she throw me out of her life, again? It scares me to be honest, because up until now I am not confident on how she looks at me. All I know is that she hated me so much, and I don't think I will ever forget. Despite all her hatred towards me, I could never find myself return the hate. I love my little sister so much, even if we weren't close from childhood up till now. It bothers me sometimes though, on why I'm acting like the martyr here. But I bet it's because of the same blood that's running through our veins. I like seeing her smile, that's a fact though. As I watched her grow up from a distance, I came to like her happy face. It brightens up my day all the time. I guess that's the effect of the younger ones to the older ones.

On my other thoughts, I find myself really curious about that Tiffany. I wonder what kind of a person she is. I mean, she's like me doing all crazy things for a family. Is she like me? Fragile and foolish? Or is she much mature and stronger? I wanted to talk to her, I bet we can talk about life. Finally someone who's in the same world as me, someone who could understand what I'm going through. I wish we could be friends because I have a feeling that she's kind and considerate.

“Unnie, I'm home!” I heard my little sister call out. I like it when she's really calling me unnie. I feel like we're really a family, hey wait! We are! Oh Jessica stop distancing yourself from her, even if you know she hated you.

I hurriedly stood from the bed and walked out from my room to greet her downstairs. I need to prepare for her dinner anyways, what would be the best for her to eat? I grabbed my jacket right away.

“I'm going to buy some foods now that you're here. Is there anything you like?” I asked as I still can't find myself looking at her eyes directly. I feel like my eyes are moving circles in order to avoid her eyes.

“I'm fine with anything. But I was wondering if I could cook us dinner.” She said in a low tone as if not wanting for me to hear. I'm quite surprised though, come to think of it she was liking to cook every now and then. I guess she really likes cooking.

“Oh” I sounded stupid because I don't know how to react yet. Took me a few seconds to glance back at her and reply with sense. “Sure! Uhm.. are there any ingredients you want me to buy then?”

“I looked over the fridge early this morning, so I know I have everything in hand. So there's no need to, unnie.” She smiled at me and did I see a tinge of blush from her cheeks? I guess she's shy towards me, and I know she doesn't like the feeling of getting pried nor making this situation more exposed. I need to do something.

“Okay. So I guess I'll just go.”

“You're going out again?” She asked and when I lift my head on her direction, I can see she was pouting like a cute kid with a disappointed face. It was cute of my little sister.

“Yes, but I'll be right back after.. maybe when you finished eating and all.” I need to buy something for me anyway, I'm hungry.

“Why are you always going away when I want to cook something for us? Is my cooking really that bad that you're running away from it?!!” I was taken aback when she blurted that out. She was angry and it wouldn't take any seconds that she'll cry because of madness. Of course I won't run away from her cooking, it will always be my favorite to eat her foods.

“What are you talking about? I just wanted to give you space so you could eat properly!” I retorted back.

“Unnie! I said I wanted to cook for us. Us, means we. You and I! Now tell me what else you don't understand?!” She explained exaggeratedly. I find it amusing that she was this furious over something like this small. I mean, I'm seeing her angry for most of the time because she hated me and all. I never thought she would insist to prepare and eat food for me as well like this. I feel like my heart's soaring. I feel like I belong to her world now.

“I-I thought you won't like--..” I stopped myself from talking when I see her eyes almost welling up. It must have been hard for her to reveal her feelings over this small matter. Despite not being close to her, I think I know what kind of a person Krystal is.

“I'm sorry. I won't be going out. I'll be much happier to eat your food, Soojung.” I smiled at her and her face finally rejoiced. Blush became more obvious and I swear I find it really cute of her.

–

The entire time that she was at the kitchen, I asked her what I can do to help and she would just tell me to sit down and rest. I feel like I'm being spoiled by her at this moment, although I want to cherish this opportunity because it comes very seldom. And who knows till when she'll do this for me. I just hope that she doesn't hate me as much as before, I would really want to take this moment as a sign. I really do. How I wish we could be like this all the time.

I sat down at the dining table watching her behind work around the kitchen. It's my first time to actually see her so determined in what she's cooking. My little sister whom I played with when she was just a little girl, to which I'm sure she didn't remember. My little sister whom I've watched and protected from afar when she started distancing away from me. The little sister whom I've sacrificed so much more now. I smiled to myself, I've done so much more than I could ever imagine. But sadly, my actions were never known and appreciated.

“Unnie, I'm almost done. Can you help me by putting the plates on the table?” I snapped back to reality when I heard her across the kitchen. Before I moved, I carefully wiped the tears at the corner of my eyes.

“Okay!!”

I happily ate everything she did, and never forget to compliment her skills. Her facial expressions were happy and shy, it was very heart-melting. If I could only forget, or if she could ever take back her harsh words she had said before to me, I would think this moment as a bonding of sisters catching up. A very special memory for me that I'll forever cherish.

“Tomorrow night, I won't be coming home. So don't forget to lock the doors, alright?” I said breaking this wonderful moment with her.

“You're not going to spend the night here? Where are you going? And who are you with?” She asked with much curiosity in her tone. Did I mentioned she almost slammed her spoon on the table hearing my news?

“I-uhh.. well, my friend who was from the university wanted to meet me. So they planned to have a party at their house. So...” I don't know where I got that excuse from, I wish she wouldn't ask more.

“But why at night? You're leaving me alone at home, at night?” She asked almost like she couldn't believe it. I forgot she's only 15, I think it'll be too much to leave her alone at night like this.

“I..” Gosh, I didn't think through this plan. I started panicking.

“Fine! I don't want you to think I can't handle myself. So it's fine. You can go party, but better get home as early as you can. I don't want to wait and care for you until the next day of tomorrow.” I didn't know she's this... demanding but I find myself obeying anyway.

“I promised I'll get home right after the party's over.” I shiver at my statement and the double meaning that comes with it.

“Stop promising me. Just do it.”

Here she goes again. Our sweet happy sister moment, gone in a few seconds. How I wish I did not bring up that topic, now she's mad again. But why is she mad? I mean, she shouldn't care.

Suddenly, the sound of screeching chair became audible to me. Krystal stood u