Still a FLASHBACK

Jessica POV

"Damn it Jessica! You're stupid! It's obvious she hated you and yet there you are acting to be the hero. I hate to see you my friend going through such pain because of your bratty little sister." I heard Hyoyeon, the closest friend of mine at the university, rage.

I called her right away after Krystal went off to school. I needed someone who could give me sympathy and care, because I know I might go crazy taking solely the whole world upon my shoulders. I need a friend.

"I know. But I can't help it, I want to look good in front of my sister. Because I'm the only one who could give her love." I say immediately. I may sound really martyr, but I don't know why I'm like this only to my sister.

"Yeah but obviously she's too young to even appreciate your efforts. She had gone too much hurting you. If I were you, I left her alone right even before someone took custody over her. I'll let her suffer and let her feel the world's cruelty herself. Ugh I hate her, Jessie!" I chuckled at how she growled showing how much she despised my sister for me. She hated her so much because she had witnessed how much struggle I've overcome. I appreciate it, but I don't want her to really hold grudge towards Krystal.

I didn't protect Krystal this time though, because I know she will end up getting pissed again when I do so. I understand her, and I love my good friend Hyoyeon for always being there for me even when I'm out of the university. Although all of my friends are still there for me showing their support, it has been Hyoyeon that became my savior at times like this. She's so understanding at the same time giving me too much of her time, no matter what's the situation she's in.

"So, what are you planning to do now? Do you still have money with you? I can lend you some, but I don't have enough to sustain you. So better look for a job right away and pay me." She said and I only thank her for lending a hand when it came to my expenses. I really am broke right now, and knowing that she's treating me a meal today too I am so grateful.

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Krystal POV

Today is the last day I will be in custody of Jessica. I don't want to admit it, but... my heart became heavy the moment I realize I won't be seeing her any longer. She had done so much for me. Despite me giving her too much pain and burdens, she never treated me bad and even spoil me as much as she can. Even when she's out of money, even when she's not capable, even when she don't have energy, she did her best for me to live.

I felt a pang of pain generating within me, and I don't know why and how it became like this. I hated her right? I should be happy getting away from her. This feeling grew stronger the moment I saw her reaction towards my strong hateful words yesterday. I was shocked too, how rude I became that moment when I told her I want her dead instead of my parents. It just came all out in a spur from my mouth, and the moment I saw her pained expressions I realized it's too late for me take back my words. She was crying so much that time that gave me silence and a feeling of regret towards my actions. Her greatness and kindness towards me came in a flashback right away and that made me feel wasted as a person. I feel I was too cruel to even be called as her sister or worst being human.

To be honest, I was not able to sleep last night. Since our room was side by side, I can hear Jessica crying so hard. I thought it was going to be for just an hour or two for the longest, but I was suffering of guiltiness when I realize she's been crying till dawn. My heart's squeezing in pain, hearing her. And I wanted to apologize right away. But I find myself ashamed, I don't know how to face her. So when morning came I went with my uniform right away planning to just ignore her in breakfast and go straight at school. To my surprise she acted strong and even requested me to eat along with her for the last time.

Reminiscing what happened earlier this morning

"Eat with me for the last time! I will let you go, and I will never bother you ever again! This is what you wanted right? I'm giving it to you, I'll set you free, and let you live the life you ever wanted that I couldn't give you. Just please..."

She said and I was taken aback with her words. She sounded, cold. And I can feel my skin shiver towards her tone of voice. There was a mixture of pain, anger as well as loneliness in her voice. I know she had been telling me she'll keep me all this time, but saying right now she'll let go of me... I can feel my heart twisted right away. Do I want her to really let go of me?

"Just please eat with me. I prepared all your favorite foods. Come! Eat with Unnie"

When she said that, I found my feet leading me in the direction where Jessica is. And I was shocked when I saw my favorite foods on the table. Aside from being amused, I also felt her love. I knew she had no money, I was sure of it because I've continuously pushing her to give me money for my wants. And she just paid off all the bills for this month too, so I was sure there was no money left. But she's giving me all these. How come she's still so good to me despite treating her so bad? How? I feel like my eyes begun to moist than usual. Tears were forming in my eyes without my consent, but I tried to control it and never look at Jessica's eyes to hide my overflowing emotions right now.

I immediately took the spoon and fork for me to eat, so I could forget this feeling. I feel like I'm going to cry any minute when I don't do something about it. I stuff my mouth with a lot of food and I can see in my peripheral view that she begun eating as well. For a few minutes there were just silence between us, but even though she's not saying anything, I can feel how much she's struggling to even face me that moment. She was acting up again with her strong facade, but I can see, I can feel.

"Auntie's coming after I came back from school" I broke the silence and look at her for the first time. And what I saw just made me feel more guilty. Just like me, she was holding back her tears. I felt the sudden urge of wanting to hug her and tell her I'm sorry.

"Okay. Are you ready?" She was smiling saying that.

"You know it's for the best right?" Crap! I can hear my voice cracking up. Please, tears don't shed right now. Please. Please!

"If that's the best you wanted. Then I guess you're right." She said almost immediately, and I felt all the rude things I do to her come back at me.

"What are you going to do, after I go away with Auntie?" I have to ask, I'm worried. I'm starting to care, my hatred was forgotten. I want to confront her, I want to stay. And apologize, she was so fragile and I can't believe she had done so much for me with that small body of hers.

"I don't know. But.." She looked at me and that was the first that our eyes had met. I am going to break down any time soon seeing her eyes. She doesn't want to let go of me, I was sure of it.

"But?" I asked

"But, I'm still going to prove to you that I'm worthy for you. Someday, you'll be able to see how much I love you despite you hating me."

That's it, I'm going to tell her I want to stay. I want to be with her. I'll take my pride down and apologize for being rude towards her. I hope it's not too late.

"Jessica about yesterday--" She stopped me right away and I was taken aback. My tears are coming, I knew it. Please Jessica give me time to tell you I'm sorry.

"It's okay. I'm hoping you'll be well. And you'll find happiness. Still, someday I want you back. And I will not hesitate to welcome you when you decided to finally come back." She got up from her chair and left me all alone. I was put into oblivion at her kindness. She still wanted me, after all of these. The moment she went away my tears were freed in my eyes. I don't want to leave her alone, I don't want her to let go of me. Please Jessica. I can't put my feelings into words rig