To: Sujeong

Our high school classmates are gathering at Paradise Café today, 7PM. You will be coming, right?
 

Sujeong stared at her phone for a long time. Then, she started an endless cycle of typing and deleting her half-composed responses. Exasperated, she threw her phone against the pillow and closed her eyes. Reopening them, she stared at her blank ceiling. She started to think her life resembled it. Sujeong couldn’t help but recall their previous high school gathering.
 

-Flashback-

“Oh. Sujeong, you’re here.” The class president waved enthusiastically.

Sujeong joined the table and soon, everyone started to share their recents. Through that, she learnt that their class enemies had dated for 2 years and was engaged recently. She learnt that her best friend was recently promoted to be the branch manager of a renowned bank. She knew that her class president had attained his bachelor in Medicine and was awaiting to be a house doctor. She learnt that most of her friends are doing well and it made her really happy.

Then, someone asked, “How about you Sujeong?”

“I am good.” She replied simply, hoping they won’t probe further.

“Are you studying or working?” Another person asked.

“Err… I am actually doing neither.” Sujeong reluctantly replied, eyes flickering around the room.

She saw the confused and curious gaze of her classmates. She didn’t like the attention.

“Sujeong is a fansite master!” Sujeong’s best friend chipped in excitedly.

Sujeong stared at her best friend with the ‘It-was-supposed-to-be-a-secret’ gaze and she merely stuck out her tongue cutely.

“Ah. You mean those fans that follow those idols or whatsoever around?” One of them remarked in distaste.

Sujeong forced a smile and nodded.

“It’s such a waste. Sujeong, I still remember you used to be one of our top scorers!” Someone else chimed in.

Sujeong smiled again.

Indeed, before them who were all successful, what was 100K followers on Twitter? What was thousands of retweets? In their eyes, she was just a crazy fan who wastes money chasing after idols. She was like a clean slab that achieved nothing in life, unlike them. Sujeong felt small out of a sudden. The voices surrounding her tuned out as their judging words replayed.

Sujeong smiled bitterly and she wished the day would end quickly.  

-Flashback ended-
 

Sujeong sighed at the thought of the gathering later. She shook her head and eventually decided to go with the excuse of food poisoning.

“What exactly have you accomplished in life, Park Sujeong?” she spat those words out bitterly and it stung at her heart.

Sujeong felt tears welling up in her eyes when she realised deep down inside, she knew the answers oh so well. Without infinite, she had nothing. Absolutely nothing.  

Driving down the road in the heart of the bustling city, Seoul, Sujeong felt so empty. The city was roaring with nightlife, filled with screams, laughter and excitement but here she was, feeling empty, dull and unaccomplished. Stopping by the convenience store, Sujeong found herself subconsciously walking to the refrigerator to pick up a kimbab in one hand and a bottle of energy drink in the other. She stared at her hands holding onto the kimbab and drink for a long time before putting them back. Picking up the sandwich beside it, she headed for the cashier counter.

The drive to the Han River felt longer than usual. Sitting by the river reflecting off the lights, she was overwhelmed by its beauty. It had been long since she had such alone time. She had always enjoyed the companion of the fellow fansite masters. But today, she really wanted to be alone. Finishing her sandwich, she threw the wrapper aside and stood up. Cupping her hands at , she screamed her lungs out.

“Myungsoo-yah, please be happy!” Then, she squatted on the ground and cried her heart out.

Couples walked by hand in hand, whispering stuff into each other’s ears as they saw her. They probably thought Sujeong was some poor girl who just broke up with her boyfriend. It was right to a certain extent, just that the love started as a one-sided love and will always remain as a one-sided love. It’s one that grows deeper and stronger and at the end of the day, only she gets hurt. Unlike her friends who could call her up when they broke up, she had no one to call. Because they could never understand. She can foresee them simply laughing off her pathetic fan love and ridicule her feelings for Myungsoo. They would never understand how to her, Myungsoo was way more than an idol. Since a long, long time ago.

“To me, you’re like the reflection in the waters.” She dipped her hand in the water and laughed bitterly. More tears fell and Sujeong thought even the howling of the wind seemed to be mocking at her pathetic self.

-

“YAH! What have you been up to these days?!” Miyoung busted through the door and shook Sujeong by her shoulders dramatically.

“Just busy with this and that…” Sujeong paused, not knowing what to say.

“Faster wash up! I got a tip that Myungsoo and Sungjong will be going to this sunbae’s concert!” Miyoung shoved Sujeong into the toilet, not giving her any chance to protest.

“YAH! Are you going to just wear that to see Myungsoo?” she glanced her outfit from head to toe.

“Wear this instead!” Miyoung took out a more presentable dress and forced her to change into it.

“Are you done?” Miyoung tapped her feet impatiently.

“Almost. I can’t zip this up. It’s kinda tight.” Sujeong said and Miyoung turned around.

“Breathe in.” And she zipped it up in 1 second.

“Let’s go! We’re going to be late for the concert~” She dragged her by the hand and Sujeong was amazed at how the booked cab arrived early for once.  

“Here.” Miyoung passed Sujeong a black band to strap her DSLR to her thigh.

She placed her lens into her bag and covered it with a scarf and other stuff.

“Are the others coming?” Sujeong asked and Miyoung shook her head.

“Nope, it was a sudden tip so I only managed to tell you.” Miyoung said.

“You bought the tip?” Sujeong asked and she nodded.

Effortlessly, Sujeong and Miyoung smuggled their cameras in and started fixing their lens to the camera body. The concert started and from afar, Sujeong noticed the two members discreetly sneaking into their seats. Sujeong pointed and whispered to Miyoung, “I see them.”

Posting the previews on Twitter, their tweets received many retweets and mentions within seconds. One particular one caught Sujeong’s eyes.

Tweet by: LoveMyungForever

@Myungift OMGGG~ Eonnie! How did you know oppa would be at the concert? :O

Tweet by: OurLoveisINFINITE

@LoveMyungForever Because they are rich saesangs who follow oppa everywhere…=_=

“Rich saesangs... So to them, we are just rich saesangs huh?” Sujeong rolled her eyes and logged out of the account.

Sometimes, Sujeong wished there was a log out button in life. Or maybe, a reset button would be better.

"You are like a drug. The more I abstain from you, the more I can't stay away." 

Author's Note: 
Sorry for always taking like infinity to update ㅠㅠ
I hope you guys like the new update! Please do comment.
It spurs me to update more frequently whenever time allows.
Thank you for reading! :')