“Shall we go on a date today?” she suggested excitedly.

Sujeong watched his exaggerated continuous nod at the girl before him.

It was certainly Myungsoo regardless how many times she looked away and back at him.

The tears forming in her eyes fell and Sujeong realised she was trembling as she put her phone down. The couple left the café and Sujeong found herself trailing behind them, like a puppy. She had always been following him but it had never occurred to her that she was pathetic. Not until today. She could have turned and left but her heart willed her to continue following them.

“Maybe, she was just a dongsaeng. Or a cousin. Or a …” Sujeong found her mind making up excuses for Myungsoo.

Sujeong watched the girl remove his mask and beamed from ear to ear.

He smiled and she watched her tip toe, claiming his lips so righteously. It was late but the street lights gave her a good view.

Myungsoo deepened the kiss and Sujeong felt her heart shattering.

“A fan says that Myungsoo looks exceptionally handsome these days. She left a comment asking if you have a girlfriend?” The emcee read out the note.

The INFINITE members made noises at the question for the fun of it. 

“Of course not. My heart only belongs to inspirits.” Myungsoo replied and covered his eyes with his hands, shaking his shoulders from left to right.

He was shy and it was so adorable. The fans screamed at his reponse. 

“Lies.” She mumbled to herself.

To be honest, Sujeong had known about the dark secrets of the idol industry. Almost everyone in the industry had underground relationships and it was not uncommon where many companies bribed agencies to sweep dating scandals under the carpet. Sujeong knew Myungsoo was probably lying when he said he didn’t have a girlfriend. But seeing them intimate like this made her feel hurt and deceived. After all, he was the Kim Myungsoo, she would protect with all her life, the one she devoted all her time and life to, and this was the best he could repay her love.

It hurts.

Sujeong turned her back against the scene and walked away with heavy steps.

“Was that… INFINITE’s Kim Myungsoo and an… actress?”

Sujeong snapped her head to the source of voice and noticed a man with a bulky DSLR slung around his neck. It didn’t take her long to realize it was Dispatch’s reporter. She had snuck into press conferences several times because of INFINITE and he was there too. Sujeong bit her lips and trailed his gaze to the couple that entered the supermarket.

He quickly followed into the supermarket and Sujeong found herself entering the same place. The reporter’s eyes were like those of a hawk, searching for its prey. Sujeong felt her heart racing in fear, when she spotted Myungsoo smiling so brightly at the fruit section around her, she felt bitter. Sujeong turned back and saw the reporter walking down another aisle, approaching soon. He had his camera already in his hands. If she had walked away now, they would get caught. And they would end up in a not-so-happy ending. But was that really what she wanted?

“Screw this.” She mumbled to herself.

Kicking the stacked up baskets beside her in the direction of the approaching reporter, she faked a fall. Colliding into the middle aged man who fell together with his camera, she hit the ground with him. Strings of cursed words came out from the man’s mouth as he checked his camera. Sujeong apologized repeatedly and scanned the fruits section from the corner of her eyes. They were gone.

-

“Another bottle of soju please.” Sujeong shot her hands up in the air before collapsing on the table.

“Here.” The lady handed to her, shaking her head.

“Without you, what would my life be like…” She mumbled to herself.

“I shouldn’t be acting like this, right?” She laughed at herself.

“After all, I am just a fan. And you are there.” She pointed to the lone star in the night sky.

Tears fell and she saw a shooting star shoot across the sky, as if mocking her.

The alcohol made her dizzy and she comfortably found a spot on the table to sleep. The lady boss shook her head, recognising the fansite master. She decided to let her rest for a bit, wondering why she was in such a bad mood.

“Umma, I got this for you~” He sang, handing the paper bag over.

The mother and son enveloped in a quick hug and Sungyeol kissed her on the cheek.

“Oh. Isn’t this…” He paused, realizing Sujeong sleeping at the corner of their restaurant.

“She’s your fan, right?” she noted.

Sungyeol nodded and corrected in his mind, “Myungsoo’s fan, to be exact.”

“I will get Daeyeol out to hail her cab for her.” She sighed, about to head to the kitchen.

Looking at her face, Sungyeol’s thoughts drifted back to their previous encounter at the fan meeting.

“Myungsoo, he deserves inspirits’ love.”

“You too, oppa.”

 “Umma, I will get the cab for her.” He stopped his mother and smiled.

“Are you sure?” she questioned worriedly.

“Don’t worry.” Sungyeol said, taking out his mask from his pocket and putting it on.

-

Sujeong woke up with a headache and burning throat. She found a glass of water and a bottle of painkillers sitting at the top of her desk.

A note was below it and she recognised it as her sister’s handwriting:

Unnie,

Have some painkillers if your head still hurts tomorrow morning.
Did anything happen? Why did you drink so much?):

Popping a pill in , she swallowed it and went back to bed. She remembered there was a mixed concert schedule today at Busan but she didn’t feel like going. She couldn’t see Myungsoo the same way as before and she wondered if he had spotted her. Sending a quick text to the group chat saying she was ill, she threw her phone aside. She cracked out a dry laughter, recalling how she used to drag her wobbly body to the concert even when she was sick. She remembered how they camped at the airport and Miyoung bought ice packs from the convenience store to change for her every few hours. It was only after they took pictures of their airport arrival then she agreed to go to the hospital for emergency treatment.

“I am pathetic, loving you like this. Right?” she laughed, yet again. 

"When it hurts too much, is it time to stop loving you?"

Author's Note: 
Hello everyone! <3 
Please do leave a comment if you're enjoying this story. :')
Thank you for reading~