Hana's POV

“And oppa…I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything. I mean it this time.”

JongIn oppa went quiet as he sat up. I pulled back and sat a comfortable distance away from him. His eyes bore into mine as he was anticipated my next words.

His stare alone made my breathing rapid and slow. I didn't want to chew on my nails or lips, so I found myself gnawing on the inside of my cheek. It still hasn't healed from a few days ago. Soon the taste of blood filled my mouth.

A heavy silence settled over us, thicker than the uneasy tension in the atmosphere.  My unsettled eyes glanced unceremoniously around and tried to avoid catching the stare that my brother began.

“Oppa…” I began.

I took a deep breath as the words began to form in my head. My insides were burning and I felt like my heart was stuck to my throat. It was all so nerve wracking.

“Oppa, I don’t know what you are thinking about. But I think that it would only be right for me to say this. I know that I can’t change your thoughts about me and I hope that you are willing to hear me out.”

He reached out and grasped my hand tightly as he nodded slightly, urging me to continue.

“I am very sorry for all that I have done. I am sorry for lying to you, being rude to you and thinking bad about you. Even though that I don’t show you that I love you, I actually do love you and I always will. You’re always there when I need you but…”

I felt tears gathering in my eyes. I blinked my eyes rapidly in an attempt to prevent the tears from falling.

 Kim Hana is strong. Kim Hana can do this. Kim Hana does not cry. I repeated to myself over and over again. I swallowed hard and clenched and unclenched my fists to calm myself down. “But, I’m never there for you when you needed me. I realized that I’ve done wrong in the way I treated you. That was not how a younger sister should treat her older brother. All I’m trying to say is that I don’t want you to leave me. I have already lost everything. Kim Hana only has oppa left…”

I got choked up. I opened my mouth to continue however I was unable to say anything. My mouth opened and closed like a fish.

Tears were starting to well