“You’re done moping,” Sehun declared one day standing in their kitchen. He was drinking a soda and observing Chanyeol, who was resting his head on their small table not doing much of anything.

A month and a half had passed and their winter break was far from over and he knew he’d spent most of it walking lazily around the house, barely dressing or functioning.

“I’m not moping.”

Sehun scoffed, “And the sun revolves around the earth. Tell me something else that isn't true.”

Chanyeol turned his head to face the opposite way.

“If you’re not moping then why won’t you eat?”

“I eat.”

“You barely touch your food, and you only eat when I watch. Don’t think I didn’t notice.”

“Humph,” he grumbled.

“Look, you can’t be like this forever,” he continued. “You’re missing the best times of your life, and for what? Nothing. I know I’m being harsh but that’s the reality, because the guy won’t even see you.”

“Sehun…”

“I’m sorry, I really am sorry for pushing you. I really didn’t think things would end up like this…I understand you’re heartbroken but what are you going to do if you see him at school when break’s over? You’re going to have a total breakdown, that’s what. I don’t want to see you like that again. So you’re going to start getting over it…now.”

Chanyeol grunted and shut his eyes.

“Today, Park Chanyeol,” he walked over and slapped the back of Chanyeol’s head.

“Ouch” Chanyeol protested meekly.

“Next time I see you making that face it’s going to be a lot worse. Now go get dressed. We have an audition in an hour or did you forget?”

“I didn’t forget...” he muttered bitterly and got up, shuffling toward his room.

Sehun frowned at his back and ran up behind him, slapping his with a loud smack.

“HEY!” Chanyeol’s eyes bulged out of his head and he smacked Sehun’s back in return.

“That’s the spirit.”

The two of them left their apartment 20 minutes later and met up with Minseok, Kyungsoo, Kris, and Jongdae at the station, but rather than taking the subway they got into a large brown van Jongdae had rented to lug around their equipment; Kris drove as he was the only one with a license.

They auditioned at a bar in Gangnam, famous for the bands that they help rise to popularity. Things were going well until the informal panel asked them to present an original song.

“We’d really like to see something original, something that will show your real potential.”

None of them were very good at writing lyrics, so they hadn’t even tried or thought to prepare one, but they spontaneously played a strong rock instrumental that Chanyeol and Kris had co-written. However, they noticed a remarkably disappointed look cross the watcher’s faces.

“Is there anything else?”

“No,” Chanyeol muttered into the microphone, and his voice echoed out into the practically empty room.

“You can go. We’ll call you if anything changes.”

A band waiting in the wings snickered a bit as they passed.

None of them had any hopes of getting a return call, and they drove back to the university in silence. Minseok stared out the window the whole time and Jongdae kept sighing.

When they had all finished locking up their equipment in the practice room storage area, Sehun made a sudden and loud statement.

“We’re going out!” he yelled, clapping his hands, the sound instantly shattered the silence and everyone looked up in wonder.

“What?” asked Minseok, startled out of his solace.

“We’re going drinking!”

“Now?” questioned Kris, raising an eyebrow and sighing.

“Yes, now. If not now then when? I think we all know that we didn’t do too hot today, and I’m sick of the constant moping,” he said sassily and made a pointed look at Chanyeol. “We are going to drink, and we are going to have fun the rest of this break, okay?”

It was hard not to get caught up in the sudden and infectious mood he’d started and Chanyeol stood by Sehun, throwing his arm over his shoulder, “I vote Oh Sehun temporary leader and officially in charge of mood-making. All those who agree say ‘Aye’.”

“Aye!” the rest yelled in unison.

“What’s going on?” asked a meek voice from the door. They all turned to see the freshman, Jongin, poke his head through the door and stare at Kyungsoo.

Sehun walked up to him and put him in a light headlock, dragging him fully in the room, “We’re going drinking. You’re invited too, kid.”

Kyungsoo audibly groaned and Chanyeol slapped Sehun on the shoulder, “Who are you calling a kid? You’re both fresh meat.”

“Whatever,” he stuck out his tongue childishly. “He annoys Kyungsoo and I like him.” He looked Jongin over studiously and poked his chest, “I think you and I are going to get on all right.”

“So who’s ready to go?” shouted Chanyeol.

The group all shouted at once and Jongin looked shocked while Kyungsoo covered his eyes with his hand; Jongdae and Minseok were thrown into laughter at their expressions. They all gathered at Chanyeol and Sehun’s apartment and waited for night to fall before leaving to the club district.

They ate chicken and beer at a bar before heading into one of their favorite clubs. Already under the influence of alcohol, they were hyped by the pounding beats and flashing lights, and the six of them yelled loudly and danced obnoxiously in the crowd. For the first time in over a month Chanyeol was feeling really good and he continued to drink to his heart’s content.

He noticed that even though Kyungsoo had complained before, he and Jongin were having a seemingly good time together. The boy waited on him hand and foot. But even though Jongin was dancing next to him, he would sometimes glance at Chanyeol, his haunting eyes suddenly turning his face into a solemn and serious expression.

Chanyeol stumbled over to the bar after a while and grabbed another drink before he realized he needed to go to the bathroom. He trudged into the dark hallway and he noticed Kyungsoo had followed him. The room was spinning and he leaned his back against the wall when things started to go blurry. Kyungsoo edged closer and closer.

“No one else seemed to notice, but Baekhyun is the one who dumped you right?” he said, his arm quickly blocking Chanyeol from moving against the wall.

How could just hearing a name hurt so much? “What…What are you talking about?” he slurred, looking down at the small man. He must have looked nervous though.

“Don’t worry. I won’t tell anyone…I never told anyone about you and me.”

“You and me?” he gulped.

“I know you remember,” Kyungsoo practically purred, his hand resting on Chanyeol’s chest. “You must know how I feel about you…how I’ve felt about you even before then. That’s why you had with me right? You knew I was gay, and you knew I was hurting…you wanted to test yourself, to see if you were just like me.”

“N-no,” he stuttered. “I didn’t!”

“It’s okay… I understand everything. Did you tell him you liked him?”

“Who?”

“Baekhyun. Did you tell him that you liked him?”

“I told him I loved him,” he breathed, and suddenly pain was washing back over him like a waterfall.

Kyungsoo sighed heavily, “You shouldn’t have don’t that…that was wrong.”

He thought he might be losing his mind because when he looked down at Kyungsoo he could see Baekhyun there, saying almost the words he’d said back then; they were even almost the same height.

“Baekhyun’s not like us, you see…He’ll never return your feelings.”

His heart thumped painfully. He could feel his eyes watering at Kyungsoo’s words. Considering Baekhyun’s reaction to his confession, they were all too easy to believe. Chanyeol threw his forearm across his eyes.

Suddenly, in the lonely hallway, Kyungsoo reached up and placed his hands on Chanyeol’s cheeks, “He can’t ever love you like the way I love you. But I can help you feel better, like you did for me…” he pressed his body against Chanyeol’s and it didn’t feel bad. The shape of his body was familiar and he could remember the time when they’d once held each other. He remembered the heat of their bodies together, the only sounds he’d heard were the obscene slapping of skin and Kyungsoo’s cries of pleasure.

He wondered if Baekhyun would feel that same way if he had been able to touch him. But he couldn’t. Baekhyun would never love him. He felt an all too familiar wetness roll down his face.

One hand crawled up the back of his head and tangled in Chanyeol’s hair and he found himself in turn reaching down and clutching Kyungsoo’s small back.

I just want to feel better again…even his shape is like Baekhyun’s…I remember that time I hugged him, he was trembling.

Baekhyun.

He was leaning down when a sudden alarm bell in his head went off strong and clear. Sehun’s warning voice from months ago echoed loudly in his head and if Sehun thought it was wrong then something was definitely not right. He grabbed Kyungsoo’s shoulders and gently pushed him away, rubbing the tears from his face.

“What’s wrong?”

“I can’t…” he said, backing out of the hallway toward the pounding dance floor. “Not again, Kyungsoo.”

He left Kyungsoo standing there in the darkness of the hallway, his large eyes staring back at him dejectedly. As he pushed his way out into the main floor he noticed the boy Jongin standing near the entrance of the hallway and he wondered vaguely if he had just seen what had happened. His head was hanging sadly and his eyes never left the floor.

Chanyeol pushed the thought away and made his escape, texting Sehun on his way out of the club to let him know he’d left.

In the next week Chanyeol tried, unsuccessfully, not to be left alone with Kyungsoo. Guilty thoughts pained his head and heart whenever he noticed Kyungsoo staring at him. The universe was against him however, and apparently so was Sehun. He hadn’t yet told his best friend what had happened at the club. He couldn’t bring himself to do it, not after he knew how much Sehun had disapproved of his and Kyungsoo’s previous encounter. So Sehun was always accidently leaving them together or sending them to run errands for the band. He hadn’t yet rescinded his title of “temporary leader.”

It was a Sunday; they were two weeks away from spring semester at their university and Kyungsoo showed up unannounced at their apartment. Much to Chanyeol’s dismay, Sehun had been called upon to visit his parent’s home that day for dinner and left the two alone together about halfway through the visit. Chanyeol tried to get him to stay but Sehun hadn’t noticed his duress.

Chanyeol was nervous upon nervous and tried to stay a good meter away from Kyungsoo at all times; his feet remained firmly planted in the kitchen. Though he internally cursed himself for leaving his phone on his nightstand, he wasn’t about to create any sort of opening for the small man by going near his bedroom to retrieve it.

At first he thought he was being silly when Kyungsoo appeared at the door, but then he saw the way Kyungsoo had been looking at him, hungrily. He didn’t know how Sehun had missed it, but the smaller man was clearly ready to jump him. For someone so small, it was scary how Chanyeol was so spooked around him, especially when he towered above him. But he had good reason to be on edge, as he learned soon.

He was in the middle of pouring them both tall glasses of cranberry juice when the small man wrapped his arms around Chanyeol’s middle and buried his face in his back, he softly moaned his name, “…Chanyeol.”

Chanyeol gave a yelp and a huge leap, whirling around out of Kyungsoo’s grasp and splashing red juice everywhere. Kyungsoo was covered and Chanyeol had spilled over his own white shirt.

“!”  He swore under his breath, and he watched as Kyungsoo ran a hand through his wet hair. His eyes never left Chanyeol’s and his fingers ran down his face, he ually traced his lips.

Without warning Kyungsoo stripped his shirt and was standing half in his kitchen, flinging the sopping cloth to the ground. He stared pointedly at Chanyeol who was starting to panic.

“K-Kyungsoo, w-what are you doing?”

“Getting what I want.”

When Kyungsoo stepped closer to him Chanyeol stuttered something incoherent and darted from the kitchen into his bedroom, locking the door as he went. He would take no chances. He could only hope that Kyungsoo would come to his senses by the time he came back out.

He hurriedly changed his own shirt and grabbed an old one for Kyungsoo as well when he heard the doorbell ring. He swore again and hoped to god Sehun hadn’t forgotten his keys. The last thing he needed right now was to explain why Kyungsoo was standing half and wet in his kitchen. He heard the door unlatch and realized much to his horror that Kyungsoo had opened it and was now talking to whoever was out there.

He flung his door open, his eyes wide with terror and he could hear Kyungsoo say with a hiss, “Obviously we’re a little busy.”

He rounded the corner, shirt in hand and to his further alarm he saw Kyungsoo had ed his pants as well and was standing, hand on his hip, talking to the someone at the door.

But it wasn’t just any someone. He was blocked by Kyungsoo initially but Chanyeol only needed to see a piece of hi