Hi, I miss you.

I guess I could never stay mad at you for long. How are you? I heard from Junhoe that you were sick. You’re stupid you know that? Why did you have to be outside my house even if it’s already raining? But I guess I was stupid too, because I let you out there waiting…

I’m sorry.

I should’ve listened to you first, but my mind was clouded with sadness and anger. It’s just that… I never thought that something like that could happen to me so I was shocked, I didn’t know what to do and the first thing that I thought was too run and push you away.

But I could never push you away.

No matter what I do, you’re always there, running in my head like a marathon. It never stops. I love you, you know that and no matter how I try to tell myself to push you away, I can’t.

I love you so much, it hurts.

I was sad over the fact that you weren’t replying to my emails anymore, you told me that you’ll always find time to reply to my emails no matter how busy you are so I was disappointed when you stopped. And when I saw you with the girl, the first thing that I thought was that you didn’t love me anymore. Maybe that’s why you weren’t replying to my emails, because you’ve found someone better. Someone who wouldn’t leave you, someone who can love you better than I can. I guess what I’ve showed and told you wasn’t enough… I’m sorry.

But I’m willing to set things straight with us, I’m willing to forgive you… I’m willing to forgive myself for doubting you. I missed you so much Hanbin. Months without you was hell. Sometimes, in the middle of the night I would wake up and wonder what you’re doing on the other side of the globe.

I did things alone, I even went to Disneyland twice – the first one was with my cousins and the second one, I was alone. I wished you were there with me in America, but I know your responsibilities so I never brought it up. I love you, it funny because I keep on repeating that but I guess I’ll never get tired of loving you.

Let’s talk again. I want to hear everything, I want to see you again… I want to feel your hugs and kisses.

-Hayi xx

After 1234567899 years.... IM STILL ALIVE lmao

sorry for the long wait. i've been busy with school and i also had a huge writer's block so i hope you understand :)