“All my bags are packed, I’m ready to go.

I’m standing here outside your door,

I hate to wake you up to say good bye…

But the taxi’s waiting, he’s blowing his horn.

Already I’m so lonesome, I could cry.”

The first time I needed to go to America, I begged my mom to let me visit you for the last time. I had to cry in front of her just to let me, I was actually on the point where I was ready to kneel down just to beg her because I don’t want to leave without you knowing. It was sudden, my mom wanted me to study in America.

I don’t want you to be mad at me for leaving you hanging so on a Monday morning, before going to the airport, I rushed at your house to tell you everything and to say good bye. The reason why I wasn’t able to contact you for weeks is because my mom took my phone and didn’t let me talk to anyone, you know how my mom could be.

I know even though I explained it to you, you’re still mad… or sad because I was already leaving that time, but what could I do?

“So kiss me and smile for me,

tell me that you’ll wait for me.

Hold me like you’ll never let me go…

‘cause I’m leaving on a jet plane,

don’t know when I’ll be back again.

Oh babe, I hate to go.”

I’m sorry I had to leave you and I’m sorry, I don’t know when I’ll be back but I promise you that you’ll always be in my heart and I’m not gonna let go. Promise me you wouldn’t give up on me because I love you Hanbin and I don’t know what I’ll do if we ever break.

You were so calm when I told you I was leaving and I was afraid because I don’t know what you were thinking but you told me that everything’s going to be okay, that you’ll wait for me.

You kissed me and hugged me for the last time before you made me go and leave, I was reluctant but I know you wouldn’t let me stay because you don’t want me to disappoint my parents. I tried my best not to cry in front of you.

When I was in the taxi was the only time I let the tears fall. You were standing in front of your door staring at the taxi I was in and you waited until I was out of sight. I didn’t know what to do but I let myself cry until there were no tears running out of my eyes.

I promised you that when I get back, things would be better and we don’t have to be an ocean apart anymore.

I love you xx

-Hayi

Leaving on a jet plane - John Denver

btw, Hayi's letters doesn't have a specific date and it isn't in order bc like what's in the prologue, Hanbin's rummaging through Hayi's letters and reading them so...