It was now four years after my parents had died and now I live with Bon-Hwa in the house he bought for us. Last night, while we were on a date for our anniversary, he proposed to me on the Ferris wheel. I said yes of course and our wedding is going to be really soon.

I’m still very sad about my parents’ death and for the fact that they can’t physically attend my wedding but I know that they’ll be there in spirit looking down on me and they will always be in my heart.

Recently, my feelings about not belonging in this world are coming back but I guess that those are just those pre-wedding jitters that every girl gets when planning their wedding. Although for some reason, I just can’t shake off these feelings like I used to be able to do. Bon-Hwa is being the perfect as usual, by consoling me. He always tells me that the feelings that I’m getting are just nerves from planning the wedding. However, I’m just not sure if I can take in his comforting words this time around. So to relieve all my pent up tension, Bon-Hwa says that he’s taking me out for a lunch. It worked a little bit while we were there but by the time we got back into the car I was back into my state of deep thought. I could see that Bon-Hwa was really worried about me but I just couldn’t help the way I am.

We bought some street food to eat for dinner when we get home. As soon as I finished eating I got up from the table and left without saying a word to him.

“Wait, Ai, where are you going so soon?”
 

“I’m kind of tired so I’m going to go to sleep early tonight.”
 

“Okay then, go on up. I’ll wash the dishes then I’ll join you upstairs to because I’m feeling a little bit tired as well,” he smiled.
 

“Okay then.” I replied and then went upstairs. I was just about to climb into bed when he came in and said
 

“Ai, what’s wrong?” he asked.
 

“Nothin-“I began.
 

“Don’t say that,” he interrupted, “As I told you all those years ago, I’m your best friend, I know when something’s wrong with you and now that I’m your fiancé I think that I deserve to know what’s on your mind.” He said quietly while softly my hair.
 

I sighed and said “I’m having those feelings again and unlike long ago when I could've just shaken those feelings off and continue with my life I just… I just can’t do that anymore.”
 

He sighed “Listen to me, I love you no matter what, okay? And no matter what feelings you’re having just always remember that I’ll always be there to comfort you and I want you to remember that I’ll always be there for you, forever and always, no matter what. Remember that for please. Please?” He said on the verge of tears.
 

I couldn’t stand to see him cry. I just couldn’t bear to see him like this so I lifted his chin, wiped his tears and gave him an honest smile then said, “Just remember that I will never ever leave you, okay? All you have to do is promise me one thing.”

“And what is that?” he asked looking me in the eye and sniffling.
Again I wiped his tears and said “Promise me that I’ll never see you crying again. Can you promise me that?”
He looked me in the eyes and gave me a brilliant smile, “Of course I can.”

He hugged me again then we curled up into bed together and fell asleep.

 Everything was going fine until I woke up without Joshua in my arms or by my side. I was in different clothes in a different bedroom in a completely different house and I had only one question on my mind.

“What the hell is going on here?”