It was a call that Kris had never expected, or even dreamed about.

He was sure the other was safe when they parted this morning, him to his office in the central business district while the younger headed to his studio on the other side of the city. Just like Kris could ever remember, he was all smiley and excited, cannot wait to compose and arrange more music; something he had fall in love with. And just like always, Kris felt happy when he is.

There was nothing unusual about it: they had their breakfast together, Kris made sure the younger’s almond milk in the his cup and in his own coffee is in the right amount; an apple in his hand and another one in the other’s backpack; a kiss on his own cheek, one on the shorter’s forehead, and a soft kiss on the lips; then both went on and step into their respective cars, steering into different lanes outside their house. Kris was planning to take him out for dinner tonight, and he remembered asking his driver to take the other’s car home after taking him to the studio so he could be the one to pick him up instead.

But that phone call was not a part of his plan.

Kris drove like a speed racer through the rush hour. He ignored the car honks and the faint yelling; he would not step on that brake pedal until he reached his destination.

One second felt like an hour, and the twenty minutes it took him to reach hospital felt like a lifetime. He parked with precision, jumped out of his car and ran towards emergency room, looking left and right for any information.

Someone in white coat stopped him. He could not think about anything but managed to choke the other’s name. The same person then pointed the other side of the building. He ran immediately, almost forgetting to breathe. His head calculated every possibility, weighing different outcomes, eliminating the worst, hoping for the best. He hoped he wasn’t late. He hoped he would be okay.

Kris the corner and he could see his best friend running from another direction, their expression mirrored each other when they stopped in front of the operation room.

The light was on.

Zitao was inside.

Kris never realized that night could be so painstakingly long. He was sitting there, on the cold and hard bench the hospital provided. On the wall behind him, the television was showing the late night news. People came and go around him. Nurses and doctors passed by, handing this and that, running, walking, rushing.

But to him, time stood still.

In his head, he has gone everywhere, trying to figure out what exactly happened. That phone call he received before coming here was from the hospital, telling him that his fiancé was involved in an accident. He was in the middle of a meeting with prospective business partner for the company and he immediately dashed out, running with all his might towards his car and drove to the hospital.

If he would rewind his memory of today, again, there was nothing unusual. Kris woke up to Tao next to him, still sleeping and looking peaceful. He had his side of the blanket thrown to the bottom, only covering half of his waist. Tao was never a calm sleeper. He would only stop moving when Kris hugged him, but somewhere in the night Kris must have turned and released his hold on the younger. Hence the condition of the blanket. The elder chuckled. Tao may be 24, but sometimes he seemed like the same little boy Kris met around twenty years ago.

He waited for one more minute, before kissing his fiancé’s temple, once, twice, and three times, before snuggling his nose in the younger’s hair, sniffing and nudging Tao with his nose. That, effectively woke him up.

And as usual, he woke up with a giggle.

Tao smiled as he opened his eyes, greeted him good morning sweetly as usual, reaching for Kris who immediately hugged him tight. They stayed like that, tangled in each other’s arms until the elder’s second alarm rang. That’s when both of them finally got out of the bed, and into the bathroom for shower, brushing their teeth side by side; Tao tried to style the elder’s hair and Kris bit the younger’s nose playfully just to annoy him. They laughed and smiled, their early rituals for the day.

Then they had their breakfast together, Kris made sure the younger’s almond milk in his favorite glass and the coffee in his mug is in the right amount; an apple in his hand and another one in Tao’s backpack just like the saying, to keep them healthy; then Tao pressing a kiss on his cheek, him giving one on the shorter’s forehead, and a soft kiss on each other’s lips; before they went on and step into their respective cars, steering into different lanes outside their house. Tao was with their driver, because he still could not navigate himself in the city very well. Kris was planning to take him out for dinner tonight, so he remembered asking their driver to take the other’s car home after taking Tao to the studio so he could be the one to pick him up instead.

So then, between the 8.30 am when they separate until now that they were here in the hospital at 3.42 pm, something had happened. Something that had resulted in an accident.

Which was exactly why it doesn’t make any sense. It doesn’t add up. Tao was not supposed to be out of the studio. He was supposed to be there, making music, composing, arranging, or just practicing. Tao would stay with his piano until midnight if he could, that did have happened, and he would not stop practicing until he decided the orchestra is playing perfectly. Even when it is, and the recording session is over, he would try to arrange and rearrange it here and there, adding and trying the sounds of traditional instruments from all around the world of something. Tao is unstoppable in the studio and that is where it gets very weird.

He won’t leave the studio early. It’s unlikely.

Kris sighed, a little bit frustrated.

No one has come in or out of that door. The surgery is still going on and Kris became restless.

Was it so severe then?

Will Tao be okay?

Why can’t anyone come out already and tell them something?

He took his tie and blazer off a while ago, rolling his sleeves up in an effort to find comfort that he would never get until he knew Tao is okay. Chanyeol did too. The elf yanked his tie off and threw it to his side. His shirt crumpled, and felt so uncomfortable.

What took them so long?

What actually happened?

Both of them hadn’t talked to each other since they got here. It must have been a record. Park Chanyeol and Kris Wu not talking while they’re sitting in front of each other? World must have gone mad. Doomsday is coming.

Well, it is actually true. Their world is crumbling down in front of them and there’s nothing they could do but wait.

Kris had waited for years, to finally meet Tao again, years until his world rotates again in its meant course. Now everything came to a halt yet again. His head calculated every different possible outcome and there’s no use on denying that one chance that Tao could have passed away inside or something. Kris slapped the thought out of his head. He didn’t want to have it. The option for Tao is just to survive.

He knew Chanyeol had been glancing at him to make sure he’s still sane. He had been glancing at Chanyeol too and he knew, both of them looked like a wreck, trying hard to keep it in and stay rational. But it was so hard, and both were on the edge of losing it.

Even so, none of them said anything.

Both of their worlds have come to a cease.

Baekhyun appeared sometime before midnight, hugging Kris and Chanyeol briefly. He knew there is nothing he could do to calm or comfort anyone. But he sat next to Chanyeol anyway, stealing glances towards the O.R doors, hoping that the indicator light would turn off soon.

But it didn’t.

The day was new when the head surgeon finally appeared from behind the twin doors. He looked so tired. He tried to maintain his expression but Kris knew, that something is wrong. Kris and Chanyeol jumped from their seat when the surgeon approached, Baekhyun followed suit.

The doctor spotted them, immediately noticing their crumpled shirts and red eyes. He had been a surgeon for years and he had grown familiar with this expression of lost and fear. He knew that they had been restless, waiting for any news at all. He was a little sorry for that, he could have asked one of his team members to deliver some news or something if it was a different case, but the surgery was a difficult one; it was a touch and go. The young man he operated on for the past eleven hours was severely hurt and he had to defibrillate him multiple times to bring him back. For a while there was no good news he could relay, and now that his patient has been stabled for now, he could finally say something.

“Hello,” he greeted calmly, looking at the three man in front of him whose face were showing a combination of shock and worry, “My name is Dr. Park, head of trauma of this hospital. Which one of you is his family?”

“We all are,” Kris heard Chanyeol said. His own head was too full of calculations and worries that he couldn’t manage to utter a word, “How was he?”

“The surgery was a tough one, but it was successful,” Dr. Park said, and Kris heard Baekhyun’s relieved sigh behind him.

Kris still held his own. There must be something.

“But I have to inform you that his condition is critical. We would be watching him closely tonight,”

“Can we see him?” Kris finally muttered, his eyebrows still knotted together.

“We’re putting him in the ICU for tonight and it would be inaccessible for you. Nevertheless, as soon as he passed his critical stage, we would move him to the post surgery wing,”

Chanyeol looked confused, “Wait, wait. What do you mean by critical?”

“Mr. Park has lost a lot of blood, and his trauma is extensive. I believe that the bus was—“

“The bus??!” Kris exclaimed in disbelief.

Chanyeol glared at his best friend for cutting the surgeon, “You were saying, doctor?”

“The bus was a late in stopping. Mr. Park was thrown to the curbside but the bus’ front wheels ran over his leg,”

Baekhyun gasped and closed his mouth. He couldn’t believe that happened to his baby brother.

Kris blinked, trying hard to process all the information that was just delivered. But why? Why was Tao out there, alone at the bus lane?

Chanyeol’s hand trembled, “His leg…” he whispered.

“We saved it, but…” Dr. Park took a deep breath, “His head hit the curbside and the impact from the contact with the bus also broke his ribs. One was pushing into his stomach when his body fell on the asphalt. We also found glass pieces in his eyes, one of which was embedded deep, and across the side of his face. Some of them tore his cornea and we tried really heard to save them…”

“He lost his eyes?” Kris’ eyes widened. He couldn’t understand it all.

“He’s going to need cornea transplant…” Dr. Park looked very sorry, “Mr. Park really had lost a lot amount of blood and I couldn’t say anything other than that he was lucky. He got here just right on time,”

“He would survive, right?” Kris asked again as calmly as possible, even though he was losing it inside.

Dr. Park looked between the three of them before answering, “We are hoping for the best. He just needs to pull through the next 24 hours and we’ll see from there…”

The three of them watched through the glass window that was placed between the corridor and ICU, Tao’s currently broken state. He had bandages all over his body, head and around his eyes, a huge cast covering his leg with some metals holding it together; and there were a lot of huge ugly bruises all over his arms, maybe more under the piece of fabric he was currently put in. He looked like he was literally crushed.

The sight broke Kris’ heart. How could this happen to his Tao?

Various machines were placed around him and he knew those machines are supporting him, but the numbers were dangerously low, Kris knew it. The beeps are too calm, and the heavy breath that reached to his ears didn’t help.

“Baby…” Kris whispered, hands trembling on the glass, wishing he could hold Tao’s hand and pretend that everything is going to be okay. That somehow by imagining holding the younger’s hand he would help Tao go through this. But he couldn’t do anything, he couldn’t hold his hand and tell him to wake up, to survive the night, to stay alive, because it’s Tao’s battle, and there’s nothing he could do.

Being helpless is the only thing Kris hated the most.

“Chan…” he heard a shaky whisper and turned his head. Baekhyun was holding Chanyeol’s arm tightly, while the taller stared at his dying brother, looking very shocked. Kris knew his best friend’s brain also refused to accept this.

But he was in no position to console him. He was standing there on his own, being able to do nothing except watching the love of his life struggling to stay alive.

Oh he knew. Or maybe he could only guess, but it must have hurt so bad, all that injuries, and no one he knew was there with him.

Kris was not there to help him up or to ease the pain. Tao was alone for what must have felt like hours, although thankfully it was only minutes until the paramedics arrived and helped him. It must have been minutes.

Because if it’s more than that, they would be standing outside the morgue and not the ICU…

The thing is, Kris had just got Tao back. It was not even a year. They have had a lot planned together. Kris had just proposed, and Tao had been talking about where he wanted to go for honeymoon. He had been whining and being cranky because Kris had everything planned out and refused to tell him. He was pouting and being y like the spoiled brat he is and it had been making Kris wanting nothing but to kiss the living daylights out of him. It always left the younger giggling and smiling again and Kris would give him pecks all over his face, and both will forget about everything like the world belongs to the two of them.

Again, it was true. They were so happy, clearly. They were planning to spend their forever together. That deserves a grand celebration.

But definitely not this.

What is with universe and its constant effort to separate him and Tao?

Kris remembered how little Tao was, their little Zi, peeking from behind the wall, hiding behind the couch, dragging his Mickey Mouse plushie everywhere, sometimes with one thumb between his teeth; all in his oversized onesies. It took the boy months to finally recognize that Kris was a friend and finally willing to sit next to him during their movie sessions. It took Kris several curiosity and hopeful hearts until Tao voluntarily squished his chubby fingers in his own hand. Being the youngest in his own family made being with little Zi felt so different and special: he had someone who looks up to him, so he had to be good. Chanyeol was the closest person he had to having a brother and now he had two; Zi was a nice addition in his life.

Kris also remembered how he had been wanting to protect Zi from monsters and aliens and all, and how the highlight of his day for the next few years was when him and Chanyeol finished school and homework and able to play with Zi, watch a movie with him, or just stay in and make random stuff they called supper in the kitchen. Sometimes it was normal bread with nutella spread, sometimes it was instant mashed potatoes with peanut butter and sprinkles, because Zi likes sprinkles in his meal. So even though it tasted weird in their tongue, he remembered him and Chanyeol their plates clean from anything Zitao put in it.

They had fun; oh they had so much fun. Rain and thunder didn’t even stop them. Well, at least it didn’t stop him and Chanyeol from climbing up to their fortress or to have mud fight. Zi hated thunder, so he curled inside the small blanket that was often tied around his neck like a cape, either under the dining table or behind the couch. After enjoying the rain, Chanyeol would always look for and managed to find him, and then hugged him until the storm pass. He would also always remember to get a Popsicle for Zi when the rainbow appeared. Kris watched and learned to do so too, sometimes racing with Chanyeol around the house to find Zitao. And when they did, Zitao always giggled. Kris noticed that it delighted the younger to be found by them, as much as it delighted Chanyeol and him to be able to find him. Zitao’s giggle was adorable, almost like the piano keys he always pressed carefully and curiously. It’s almost like Kris’ older sister’s giggle, but when hers was high pitched, Zi’s was softer. Like cotton candy.

But he also remembered how all that was taken away from him when Zi moved away from everyone to Vienna.

Kris had never felt so sad in his life until that day. He knew nothing whatsoever, and suddenly, when he marched into the Park household kitchen like always to ask Chanyeol and Zi to get sundae, everyone was saying goodbye to everyone; Zitao barely spared a glance at him, Chanyeol looking like he was trying to swallow a hot stone, and their parents and grandfather standing behind them with enormous amount of luggage.

He remembered not understanding what was happening, he remembered not knowing why, and he remembered crystal clear, how in a blink of an eye, Zi was gone.

That day had left him confused, sad, angry, and scared. How is it possible that everything that was okay one moment disappear the next?

What was in front of him right now reminded him of that exactly same feeling.

Of not being able to comprehend and of everything he had learnt from experience in the past: that Zitao might leave again in a blink of an eye.

Kris continued to stand there, watching his Zi being unconscious.

That dawn the nurses and doctors had to push Tao’s bed out of the ICU and back into the operation room.

Tao was still unconscious, but the machines suddenly beeped loud and nurses came running from all directions, the doctors appeared a second later including Dr. Park, yelling stuff at each other before deciding to go back to the OR. Kris heard someone shouted that Tao’s ICP had doubled and apparently it was not something good. It was scary and Kris forgot to breathe for a moment. Everyone were moving so fast, unplugging and putting on things, injecting this and that, all in the matter of seconds and Tao was gone behind the same twin doors again.

Gone are the calculations and estimations. Kris’ head was full of one wish that Tao would survive and stay alive.

His knuckles turned white on his fists.

He hated that he couldn’t do anything, just like when he desperately chasing for the big black car that took Zitao away sixteen years ago.

They finally rolled Tao back into the ICU just after sunrise.

Kris and Chanyeol were standing in front of the glass separator again, watching Tao’s figure closely, making sure that his chest still rise and fall. Albeit feeling a little relieved that Tao was still there, Kris was still restless. Dr. Park has not given them any news that could lift the heavy feeling in his chest. They are in the game of waiting now, and boy it pisses Kris off badly.

Chanyeol was unaware of his surroundings. He could barely register Baekhyun’s attendance next to him. He was chanting in his head, wishing that Tao would pull through and wake up soon. It must have been terrifying to go through all that surgery and back there again. It must have been a horror to have his own body giving up on him like that. It certainly is terrifying for him. He would not let Tao go.

Baekhyun was going back and forth, asking for explanations, or anything regarding the accident and Tao’s condition to the doctors and nurses that had been going in and out of the ICU. Everything he got had not been very satisfying and he could see his fiancé and his almost brother in law being frightened and very worried. He was trying hard to help but he knew, the only thing that could help them all is when Tao wakes up.

A nurse came checking every hour, making sure that his IV drip is working, that the blood keeps on flowing, and that every machine is still working to support Tao’s life.

“What exactly happened?” Chanyeol asked all of a sudden, his voice low and full of worry. It still hasn’t make sense to him.

But neither to Kris, “I honestly don’t know… He went to the studio this morning and there was nothing wrong… There was nothing out of the usual, and you know he didn’t understand roads in the city, let alone the bus route. Why would he be anywhere near a bus?” he asked, his breath ghosted the glass window in front of his nose, eyes still locked at Tao.

Chanyeol took a deep breath, watching his brother too, “That pipe goes deep into his throat, you know… Pumping oxygen directly to his lungs,”

Both returned to the silence, watching the machine beeping and displaying numbers.

“Was it painful?” Chanyeol asked.

“It must have been. Very,” Kris replied in whisper.

Both knew how Tao had low tolerance for pain, and how he had to be distracted just to get those flu shots. And both knew if Tao was conscious, he would be screaming and crying from the level of pain he had to withhold right now. Both wanted nothing than to stop it.

“Kris I…” Chanyeol began and Kris turned right when a tear fell from the others’ eye, “I can’t lose him too,”

“Me neither. Me neither…” Kris responded, letting his own tear fall.

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Just to make sure its clear to everyone, Tao is Park because he's Chanyeol's younger brother in this story. Baekhyun is engaged to Chanyeol as Tao is to Kris.

guys. 26 subbies just from the foreword? Thank you so much! I will try to make this story good!

First chapter up! Tell me what you think in the comments! ^^

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