Chapter 7

Five days after Zitao was completely healed, the division will be riding in with the Capitol Knights to return to Capitol. Minho and Taemin hyung who came with them will be temporarily returning to Akasha to submit a report about the whole mission. On the other hand, the group will be furthermore divided into two groups upon reaching Capitol and will be stationed in different areas of the palace city. Baekhyun, Kyungsoo, Chanyeol and Sehun will be stationed in the East. He, Yixing, Zitao and Jongin will be on the South. Junmyeon, being the leader, will join a special team composed of leaders of all factions deployed inside the Capitol.

Today is the last day of their stay inside Camp Uruha. For the whole month, many things happened. Ghosts of their past ‘returned’ and made them realized that they will never be the same as before. Yi fan, Chen and Xiumin, though part of their past will never be part of their future, no matter what they’ll do.

“Who would think that I would meet you here, huh?” Luhan whispered into the air.

The rooftop of the Sanctuary building, just like that certain night, is devoid of anything. No one would have guessed that this had become a battle field that nearly took the life of two formidable members of EXO Division. His gaze landed on the spot where Xiumin stood once, eyes taunting and mocking.

“You’ve changed so much. Your feriel is anything but darkness now. It’s suffocating, terrifying yet so much you.”

"You're weak, Lu. If you want to get stronger, then come and try to kill me."

Luhan clenched his fist and bit his lip.

“I don’t know if I can.. you know kill you. But I promised that I will bring you back no matter what, because I refuse to believe that there was never anything true in the Xiumin that I knew, in the person that is my bestfriend.”

There was a significant, a clear cut contrast in the feriel that the ice mage has back in the Academy and the feriel he has on that night. It’s not possible for a person’s feriel to change in that little amount of time, isn’t it?

“Luhan hyung?”

He turns around sharply at the mention of his name and was surprised to see Sehun standing awkwardly by the entrance of the roof top.

“Oh.. Sehun ah.”

“What are you doing here?”

“Just nothing.”

“Hn.”

Luhan can feel him standing beside him in the middle of the rooftop but he refused to meet his gaze. After all, there is still that presence of that wall that he had built after Xiumin and Chen’s departure.

“Do you hate me?” but he still asked.

There’s a moment of silence before he spoke, as if composing an answer that would not aggravate his feelings. But still the point had been clearly conveyed.

“It’s alright. I understand.”

“No.” Sehun’s voice was above whisper but nonetheless he heard it clearly. “No. I don’t hate you. I don’t think I can hate you.”

What is he supposed to feel?

“Then what do you .. feel about me?”

“Nothing.” This time it’s Sehun that met his gaze. It’s blank and so like Xiumin, less the mockery.

He sighed and bowed his head.

“Do you hate him then?” Luhan blinked at the suddenness.

“What.. who?”

“Xiumin hyung?”

“..I..”

“I tried, you know.” Sehun walked towards the railing. “I tried to hate him, especially after what he did to Zitao and Kyungsoo hyung but I still can’t. That’s why I hate myself as well.”

“..Sehun ah.”

“He took care of me. He’s the one who practically raised me.” Sehun had a faraway look in his eyes and Luhan doesn’t know how to feel. This is the first time he’s this close to him. But his next words surprised him more.

“I am a former slave for the leader of a large syndicate outside the camp. My real parents sold me and the money they gained was used for them to be able to transfer to one of the district inside Wall Xero. I’ve already resigned to my fate. Stealing, hurting other people, and anything worst that everyone could imagine. I already accepted that I would die as a slave and criminal. But he changed my view about that.”

“..I don’t know.. I’m sorry.” he wanted to touch him but Luhan thinks he would not like it so he just clench my fist. Why did I not know this?

“I used to laugh at him spurting destiny and what so. I even tried to kill him but he never gave up on me. He was the one who brought me in Akasha, made me enter the Academy and I can never thank him. But then you just came.” Sehun’s snapped towards him, eyes blaming.

“Why is that you’re the one that can make him laugh? Why is that you’re the one he turns into when you barely knew about what he experienced? You knew nothing yet he still chose you.”

“You keep on telling me your dreams, Luhan, but do you even know mine? You really don’t know me at all. No. You knew nothing of me.”

Cold shiver runs on his whole body.

“So when he left and betrayed us, my first reaction was happy. Do you know why? Because it only shows that you’re not as important to him as I’ve thought and he never hesitated betraying you. While everyone was busy hurting at their betrayal, here I am internally rejoicing.”

Sehun had his arms around his body, eyes unfocused as if he was disgusted of himself. Luhan did not know this. He did not notice this because he was busy hurting himself too. He failed to notice the turmoil inside his other members.

“But as days passed, I feel empty. The sole reason why I was living, the one that remove me from darkness is also darkness itself. I had these thoughts like ‘If I was you, I would be able to save him, if I was you I would be able to notice his suffering unlike you.”

“..Stop.. just stop Sehun.”

“Why? Are you afraid to hear how foolish and ignorant you are, huh, hyung? You keep on telling us that we are family, that we need to move forward together but did you even notice that we don’t feel the same?”

He flew and landed in front of him.

“Now you ask me how I feel about you. Nothing. I feel nothing for you. The reason why I am still here in this division is because this is the only thing that I can do. To fight. At least I am decided unlike you.”

Like a second nature, he gripped his arm tightly. “I am still the hyung here, Sehun. At least have some respect.”

“I don’t have that kind of obligation to you.” The younger removed the tight grip he has on his arm and started to walk away. “By the way, Junmyeon hyung and others are looking for us so we better come down.”

He walked towards the door while Luhan remain in his place unable to move and feeling conflicted.

Only things will not go in your way when you start giving up before even putting up a fight.

“Sehun!”

He did not bother looking back but he stop and it’s enough for him.

“I will bring Xiumin back, I promise that to you.”

It’s the only time he did turn back, “Don’t make empty promises, pabo” before finally walking away and out of the door.

Glancing back at the still empty rooftop, a decision was made for him.

Wait for me, Xiumin.

--

The trip to Capitol took longer than what Luhan expected. Today is their fourth day travelling and according to an Earl co-riding with them, it will only be a matter of hours before they reached the South City. He hasn’t talked to Sehun again after their fiasco in the rooftop. Since the teams had already been divided, the Camp decided to send them directly to their post rather than to the main city. Only Junmyeon was able to ride the Capitol Knights carriage alongside other faction leaders that was bound to the palace itself. He wondered how their leader is since Yi fan is also riding in it.

“We’re currently passing through the South City gate, my brave soldiers.”

 Luhan turn to look at the Earl currently sitting beside the carriage’s window. He’s a bit weird if you would ask him. Earl Shin Ha Ji of the South, a fifty year old Earl who doesn’t look like his age.

“Say Lieutenant, is this your first time visiting Capitol?”

Is he addressing me?

“Huh, me?”

He just smiled and return to his window gazing.

“Just don’t expect too much, young lad. Capitol is not what you think it is.”

Eh?

He can feel Zitao’s elbow digging in his ribs.

“What?” Instead of answering the younger motioned to look outside. And his eyes widen for a bit of what he saw.

He always pictured the palace like those of the palaces mentioned in fairytale books, white and majestic with wide courtyards and garden. The palace city would be filled with townsmen and women idly chattering, fluttering smiles on their lips, after all Capitol is pictured as a place where badge holders and non-badge holders living peacefully with each other. It looked like it really lived up to his expectations.

“Is this the South City of the Capitol?” Jongin whispered.

“That what the Earl says.” Zitao grunted beside him and continued gazing outside the window. He wonders what Capitol would look like. South City could be mistaken as a Palace Central already.

“What’s the matter hyung?” Jongin was asking Yixing who was frowning while staring outside.

“Artificial sun.”

“What?” he looked up in the sky.

And yes, there it is. The infamous artificial sun that had Outsiders envied the Capitol inhabitants. But there is nothing special in it, at least to him. It looks like a real sun not that Luhan knew how a real sun looked like anyway.

“Ok young lads, packed up. We’re here.” It was the Earl.

“Yes, Sir.” They immediately get off the carriage and proceed to a crowd of soldiers already lining up at the entrance of a building.

“OKAY! LISTEN, EVERYONE. NEW SOLDIERS, PLEASE LINE UP HERE! YOU WILL BE GIVEN A GREEN BADGE AND YOU MUST KEEP IT IN YOU ALL THE TIME. IS THAT CLEAR TO EVERYONE?”

They lined up as instructed and put the yellow badge on the left portion their chest. But why do we need this badge? He glanced at the nearby Capitol Knight who was keeping the line clean and he has a blue badge on his chest. A soldier few feet from where he was has red badge and then that one soldier instructing them had a blue one.

Ranks? Does this badge denote ranks?

“I WON’T REPEAT THIS ONE MORE TIME SO YOU BETTER LISTEN VERY WELL. TONIGHT AT EXACTLY EIGHT IN THE EVENING, EVERYONE MUST GATHER AT THE PODIUM FOR DEBRIEFING.”

“Yes, Sir!”

“Okay, Salute!”

--

The building that they are currently in – quarters as what Zitao called it – was actually large so he was rather grateful that the four of them were put into the same room. Luhan won’t be bothering himself with a new roommate.

“Artificial. Everything’s artificial.”

“Everything yeah.. wait what?” he turned back, confused, at Yixing who was frowning while gazing at the outside through the window. Jongin stopped packing and Zitao had emerged from under his bed sheets.

“The trees. It’s all artificial, Luhan. I can’t say about the birds but the plants, yes, they are artificial.”

“Hyung.. that is rather a bold statement, are you sure?” Jongin tried to reason out. Why? Of course, how can something so beautiful like this be artificial?

“Yeah. I can control plants remember? But the trees, flowers and plants here, they’re unresponsive like they had no life. I tried to confirm it because I also refuse to believe that a beautiful place like this is fake. Here.”

Yixing place a single leaf on the table beside Zitao‘s bed.

“I picked it up earlier. Luhan ge can you lift it up in the air? And then tear it into two.”

Luhan stared at him confusedly but still followed his instructions and much to their surprise, after the leaf was torn into two, it vanishes in the air.

He snapped his head, eyes wide staring at Yixing, confirming.

“Yes. It evaporated.”

“But.. but that will mean the leaves… Yixing it can’t be.”

Luhan still can’t believe it.

“The plants here are only made up of feriel accumulated and molded to be shaped into something. In this case, plants.”

“But why do the others don’t seem to notice it?” Zitao asked confused. “If it’ll evaporate when it was destroyed, torn or whatever.”

“It looks like it’ll only evaporate when it was destroyed by a feriel of another badge. Non-badge holders won’t be able to do it.”

“But.. but why? Why do this?”

Why does a place like this be only artificial?

“I don’t know Luhan ge but I’m worried. Really worried.”

--

Pushing at the back of their minds what they have discovered a while ago, they found themselves later seated amongst thirty to forty soldiers inside the podium waiting for someone to come. As expected all soldiers wear the same green badge except for the two soldiers guarding outside the door. They have red badges.

The door opening had their attention and Luhan was surprised to see the same Earl that was riding with them on the carriage earlier. Even so, he never failed to notice blue badge soldiers accompanying him.

“Salute to the Earl Shin Ha Ji of the South!”

“Salute!”

“You doesn’t need to be formal with me brave soldiers, within a minute or so, we are going to be sharing the same goal that Capitol had been trying to achieve.” The Earl had himself standing comfortably behind a table in front of all the soldiers.

The same goal that Capitol had been trying to achieve?

“You must be wondering why I called you here. I know, I can hear and feel your curiosity, intense and wandering so who am I to deny it?”

“What nonsense is he spouting?” Zitao hissed beside him. Luhan ignored him and focused on the Earl.

“My dear Alexandrians, for the past three years, we are fighting a war that I know almost all of you are wondering what we are even fighting for. For who is this war? But don’t worry my dear children; I am here to enlighten all of you.”

What is he trying to make sense?

“Well then, why don’t we start to where everything starts? To where Alexandria starts?”

If earlier, murmurs can still be heard, now it’s a complete silence. Even Zitao beside me became tensed for a moment. Who wouldn’t be? This is what everyone, every badge holders wanted to know. He would be a fool if he would deny he doesn’t feel the same.

“Alexandria, my children is actually a world ripped off from the true place where mark bearers and humans originally lived. Altaca, a place where the founders of Alexandria resides, is a place where badge holders and non-badge holders co-exist peacefully. A goal which the current king would want to achieve. Although majority of the Capitol inhabitants does not know about this story, the royalty still believed that it could be achieved.”

"But does Altaca really exist?" a soldier from his right rose up and asked.

"Yes. That is where, we, badge holders got our powers from. Although that place had long been gone and wiped out.” The Earl answered with a smile.

“Altaca was once a barren land. Only a sun and unending soil. One powerful badge holder, which called himself as the Ultimate One, then appeared and recreated the place. He had no specific element since he had absolute control on everything. Altaca flourished and within a span of decade, became an ideal place for living under his guidance. To be able to continue the living in Altaca the king chooses three apprentices to pass on the Ultimate Knowledge he have."

"But you said that the Altaca has been long gone and wiped out? What happened to it?"

"It was destroyed, my child. Out of the three apprentices, one stands out. While the others had mastery of all elements, like the king has, the other one only had mastery of two elements, the yin and yang. The light and darkness. The good and evil.  But since these two elements coexist with each other, it was later considered as one.”

"But we've never heard of that badge before." Jongin interrupted beside Yixing.

"It's because it was sealed."

"Sealed?"

Murmurs started to get louder.

"Yin and yang is one of the most crucial badge considered even here in our world. This badge represents the emotions of human and badge holders alike as well as of nature itself. The yang or the light represents emotions like love, friendship, companionship, happiness and the like. Yin on the other hand represents hatred, anger, lust, greed and wrath. While this badge won't be able to defeat that of the king's and his two apprentices, the culmination of all the emotions of badge holders and non-badge holders is more than enough to destroy Altaca."

"Don't tell us..

"I'm afraid my child that what you've been thinking was the truth. The king was betrayed by his apprentice. By gathering all yin from the whole Altaca, coupled by his mastery of controlling the badge, he manage to engulf Altaca in total darkness. It was later called The Great Tragedy. Everything that darkness would touch turns into dust."

“That’s terrifying.” A girl in front of him whispered.

Terrifying indeed.

“But the king still managed to seal his apprentice and the badge itself. But as a consequence, due to the vast darkness that was gathered, the king’s body was engulfed leaving only his feriel to his two apprentices. His two apprentices then used the king’s feriel to create a new world, now known to us as Alexandria.

Despite that, the Ultimate Knowledge was not passed. And the result, the Ultimate Badge was destroyed and scattered. This led us, badge holder, not able to yield the Ultimate Badge unless we gain the Ultimate Knowledge. Since then, numerous badge holders appeared, each carrying a distinct element which is once part of the Ultimate Badge.”

“Then what about the artificial sun? Why did it come to being?”

Luhan’s head automatically snapped to where the voice is. He was surprised that someone is brave enough to ask it.

“That my child is the consequence of sealing the yin and yang badge. Majority of nature’s feriel is composed of yang. When it was sealed together with yin, Alexandria was deprived of light. For past centuries until now, the royalty was the only people who can wield this kind of badge, the power to create an artificial sun to lighten Alexandria.”

“But why are the plants-

He managed to clamp a hand on Yixing’s mouth even before he can ask the whole question. Fortunately, because they are seated at the back portion of the podium, the Earl doesn’t seem to hear the unfinished question. The healer looked at him accusingly.

“Why did you do that?”

“Later, Yixing. Later.” He said sternly.

The Earl continues his story telling. “You must now understand that it is not our desire to deprive the outer districts of light but this is all the Capitol can do.”

“But why are there walls?” a soldier, this time on his right shouted.

“Yeah. Why surround the Capitol and divide the district with walls?”

The audience seemed to have been stirred.

“That my child is our only way to protect the royalty. The royalty who for the past centuries are the only one who can yield the badge to operate the artificial sun. What do you think would happen if there are no walls to protect them? People would run havoc and demand every royalty member to give them light. But we can’t allow that to happen.”

“That’s bull.” Jongin whispered.

“Bull as it is, it still made sense.” he reasoned out.

“Han, we are actually the only remaining authority, the force that held our district intact. People depend on us because we are more capable.”

That was his father’s words. Even though he doesn’t want to admit, Capitol is the only force that held Alexandria intact.

“What Capitol really fears is not this or the havoc that outer district can create. What Capitol fear is the havoc that Masquerade will create.”

Right, Masquerade.

Xiumin and Chen.

“Capitol doesn’t want to repeat what happened to Altaca. For the past three years, Masquerade had been igniting the war but never joining the front line. They let small groups of rebels do the work for them not even bothering if it was fruitful or not as long as war is sustained.”

He clenched his fist. As long as war is sustained would mean as long as there were people who gets killed.

“Others would see this as a great strategy but Capitol won’t be deceived! What Masquerade trying to do is to accumulate enough hatred and anger from all Alexandrians whether involved in war or not. The fear that non badge holders felt for their life, the grief that families felt upon the loss of a member, all of those emotions that represent yin, that is what they want.

If that happens, we fear that Alexandria will suffer the same tragedy Altaca experienced. Now, my dear children, I will ask you the same question that was asked in the inauguration in Uruha. Are you willing to die for Capitol? I hope we share the same answer.” And with that the Earl stands up and headed towards the door. “Goodnight, Capitol Soldiers.”

--

They were back in their room, currently on their beds but the mood had never lightened ever since their departure from the podium. Luhan never knew Alexandria had that kind of history.

“Lu-ge.”

It was Yixing. Apparently, he’s not the only one awake.

“Hmm..”

“Why? Why did you stop me from asking that question?”

Right, the question about the artificial plants and how much more of Capitol is artificial.

“It’s too dangerous Xing.”

“The earl could have answered that.”

“Do you really think he would?” It was now Jongin.

“Jongin’s right. I could say I believe his story. It all made sense. But something is still off. Do you notice the badges we have? It’s green but others have different colors.”

“I think it’s just a rank.” Yixing get up from his sleeping position.”

“So even Capitol townsmen are ranked?”

It was Zitao. Although his back was to them, the question still made an impact.

“You also noticed that too?”

“Yeah. A found a girl earlier while I was touring, she was wearing an orange badge and a soldier prohibits him from entering a store.”

“What?”

“I don’t know. I just noticed it.” Zitao suddenly gets up, frustration evident in his face. Luhan’s expression soften. Their  maknae’s already grown up without him noticing it.

“Don’t worry. We have enough time to find about it. For now, I think we should rest.”

“I… yeah. Good night guys.”

“Yeah goodnight.”

Closing his eyes, for once again, it made Luhan realized that Xiumin and him are on the both end of the war. But he wanted to understand him. He wanted to know why the older chose that path. He remembered his feriel back at the rooftop; it was dark, full of hatred. If this war would end, would he still see him? Would Elysium be forever a fantasy?

Could I still change your mind, Xiumin ah? Could I convince you to side with us? With me?

--

“Minseok ah! Come here. Look what I’ve got!”

“..yeah..” he made a non committal sound without looking up.

“Eyy, listen to me. What are you even doing?”

He finished folding the paper and handed it towards the boy kneeling in front him, robes disarray with a smile that is enough to tear his lips.

“Eh? A… swan?” He almost crossed his eyes in attempt to look. He giggled and move the swan shaped paper crane away from the other’s face enough for him to have better look at it.

“Yep.” he nodded and place it at the other’s pudgy hands not that his hands aren’t either. “Mother taught me how to do it. Beautiful, isn’t it?”

The other boy’s eyes widened and if he must say, sparkled for a moment before frowning.

“Yeah..yeah..” Placing the paper crane carefully on his pillow, he plopped down again in front of him. “But I did not call you for that reason. Here.”

He pulled out a large and thick book from under his bed sheets and placed it on his lap.

“Tadaah! This is my halbeoji’s book memoirs!” Limbs flew out in every direction in an attempt to make this surprise a grand one but this only made him look idiotic.

“Halbeoji? But your halbeoji’s already dead. Isn’t it wrong to take something from the library?”

“They wouldn’t know PLUS take a look at this.” Scrambling closer to him, he opened to a particular page that has his eyes widening.

“Well? Well?” the other boy has that boyish grin in his lips but his eye emits fondness.

He could only stare at the picture presented in front of him. It was a field. Grassy field. There are leaves, green leaves! The sun was slightly hidden by the mountain but its rays beautifully reflected everything around it, graciously rendering those colourless fragments of nature with its alluring hues.

His lips quivered and his grin only widen.

“Minseok ah! This!  We need to see this. This scenery is just outside that wall. Halbeoji was able to witness this and I wanted too.”

At the mention of the ‘wall’, fear slips in easily through his system.

“But.. but..” His eyes lowered unable to look at the other’s determined one.

“No buts! Father would permit me to go out of the wall.”

“How can you be so sure? No one from here was able to go outside the wall especially with our status.”

“ I don’t know but halbeoji was able to do it so am I!”

“But-

“Will you go with me?”

“G-go with you?”

“I want to be with you.” The other boy smiled serenely. “ I want you there with me when we go outside. I want you there with me when we’d witness these things. Be able to smell those flowers. Ah! I can finally see a grasshopper!”

“Grasshopper? What was that?”

“Oh! You don’t know?” He flipped a few more pages before gesturing a certain erm… insect?

“It’s… cute in a weird way.”

“Bwahahaha.”

“Yah!”

“So you will come with me right? Outside?”

“Yeah.”

“Yatta!”

Outside the wall…

Outside, where true green leaves are..

Outside, can he really?...

His eyes slowly opened, remnants of dreams slowly fading as his senses finally heighten.

Who are you?

A boy, He’s sure of it. He was a boy. A faceless boy who keeps on appearing on his dreams. Suddenly, last week’s conversation with Hongki hyung returned to him.

“I’m scared.” his voice was weak but he knew Hongki heard him.

“What are you scared at?” Whether it’s his imagination or not, Hongki hyung’s voice had gone a tone lower.

“I’m scared that if my memories come back, I would find out that I’ve been protecting the wrong person. That what I have been doing all this time was just a waste of time.”

“So protecting Chen was wrong?”

“No.” his answer was immediate. He never doubted protecting Chen was wrong but there’s always a nagging feeling that makes him unsettled after his memories started to return.

“But what if there is another person I should be protecting? What if this is only a small part of a bigger picture that I’ve been missing since I lost my memories.”

Pinching the bridge of his nose, he got up from bed and walked towards the bathroom. A week with nothing to do was refreshing but at the same time it makes him restless. It doesn’t help that his memories – he should be grateful that it’s returning – were completely foreign to him. It felt like he’s lived a different life from what he’s been doing now.

Capitol. His memories all screamed Capitol. But why?

And then that faceless boy, why does he regards him with outmost affection? Everything became clear and blurry at the same time. The Commissioner and his endearment of him, Sir Knight, although he’s used it to his advantage, his memories of him is still blurry, then that blue drapery, that ing blue drapery that was always present in his dreams.

Splashing cold water on my face and coming to a decision that it’s still futile to try to understand everything at the moment; Xiumin finally registers a weak feriel hovering outside his door.  It seems like his unoccupied week would be cut short since it’s unnatural for that person to come to him, much more talk to him.

Opening the front door, his guess was proven correct.

“You’re getting good at masking your feriel, Juniel ah, but what are you doing loitering here in men’s quarter?”

The said sixteen year old girl just snorted. “Heechul oppa has a mission for us.”

“Hn. What about your official partner?”

Juniel, although an independent assassin of the team, has L as his official partner in assassination missions. When she first entered the organization, he was her unofficial tag-along until she mastered the art of killing so he’s been with her for a few missions and she was just fourteen at that time. Xiumin wondered how far she improved.

“L was stuck in Uruha for few more weeks. So I guess Chen oppa would temporarily worked with Minhyuk oppa, and then you with me.”

L was Liuetenant Kim Myungsoo for Uruhan soldiers.

“Heechul oppa deemed it would be suspicious if L would disappear after such fiasco that you and Chen oppa created in Uruha, so he told him to stay for a few more weeks.”

“Hn.”

“By the way, I already received the mission scroll and had already packed up so I guess I would be waiting for you at the entrance.”

She tossed him the mission scroll and started walking along the hallway. It felt heavy on his hands, figuratively, and he wasn’t wrong about it the moment he learned the location of their new mission.

Xiumin for once felt relieved that Chen isn’t his partner for this time. He doesn’t want him, any part of him near that place.

Their once home.

The asylum.

The laboratory.