Chapter 6

The whole room is silent. The smell of antiseptics overrides the soothing fragrance of Yixing’s plants. The only sound that can be heard is the continuous beeping of the innocent machine beside the bed.

“This is all I can do.” Yixing’s tired voice broke the silence and the heavy atmosphere.

The healer looks up and forces a smile. Everyone who can see his face would clearly see the exhaustion swimming in his brown orbs. His lips are pressed into a thin line, as if keeping himself from frowning, breathing a little bit ragged.

“It’s alright Yixing ah. You did your best. Just…rest for now.”  Junmyeon patted his hand that is still laid atop Zitao’s shoulder.

He nodded to Junmyeon and let himself be dragged by Jongin to the other side of the room. Glancing down, Luhan winced upon seeing the still gaping hole on Zitao’s left shoulder. Now that it is cleaned off the blood, everyone can see the extent of the wound.

And it is beyond critical.

The hole is just the size of the fist, right beside the junction of his shoulder and arm, but his flesh has been ripped mercilessly down to this chest, missing by bit his heart. If Xiumin purposely avoided hitting Zitao’s heart, Luhan can’t tell.

But another part of his brain refuses to believe.

Why do you keep defending everything he does? He almost killed Zitao.

“The cells around the wound are still recovering from being frozen that is why the regeneration is slowed down to half.” Yixing explained from the side. “I’m sorry I can’t do anything. I’m sorry I’m not good-

“Stop blaming yourself.” Baekhyun snapped. “It’s not your fault. It’s just.. why is this so unfair.”

“Baek..”

“While I’m here standing perfectly fine, someone is on the verge of dying, and all I can do is watch.”

“Baek, don’t be hard on yourself.”

“It’s just.. I.. we.. ARGH!! WHY ARE WE SO ING WEAK?!”

Baekhyun punched the nearby wall and Chanyeol is immediately there to console him.

But the question already lingered.

“Why are we so weak?”

Why I am so weak?

--

Last night..

The silent is unnerving. The tension rises faster than a rocket. Everyone is on edge and even a simple twitch of a finger is critical. But most of all Luhan is restless.

The man that he’s been yearning to see for the past three years is right now in front of him. Nothing had changed in his appearance, except from the now pinkish hair and slightly toned down cheeks, but all in all, he’s face, Xiumin’s face, still never failed to give him a sense of comfort and something that he can’t and doesn’t want to know.

All the preparations and internal practice of how he is supposed to react and all the things he wanted to do when the day that he and Xiumin will meet had been thrown outside the window. Instead, uncontained anger builds inside him, fuelled by Sehun’s half sobs-half screams of Zitao’s name, and for the first time ever since he left, he really felt like hurting Xiumin the only way he knew. He had no right to hurt his friends; he had no right to hurt the people important to him, and most of all he had no right to make him feel conflicting feelings. Hatred overrides his yearning.

“XIUMIN!!!

 “Hyung!”

Kyungsoo was immediately there to hold him back.

“Let me go, Soo.”

“Calm down hyung, please.” Kyungsoo’s grip on his arm tightens when he tried to swat his hands away.

“How can I ing calm down when I know that any moment Zitao will die and the one who did that is just right in front of me! How?!” He was breathing hard, unable to contain the anger inside him.

“Zitao will not die. No one is going to die unless you will be reckless and stupid, hyung.”  Kyungsoo stared straight at him. “We will capture them and we will bring Zitao in the hospital. Don’t underestimate Yixing hyung’s badge and trust your teammates. I trust you, hyung.”

Luhan searched his eyes only to found pure and untainted determination. But it’s not enough. Nothing will ever be enough. He doesn’t even know what he was searching in Kyungsoo’s eyes.  He just wanted to release all his pent up feelings from all those years he remained silent. It was like trying to rise above the water suffocating your whole being only to found another ‘no way out’. It’s frustrating and honestly tiring.

Trust your teammates.

“Sorry..” This time Kyungsoo let him unclasped his grip from his wrist.

“It’s alright, hyung.”

“Aw~ you guys make me cringe.” Chen’s voice woke them up from their moment.

Luhan turned around sharply.

It’s now or never.

He still doesn’t understand everything. But he knows, he thought he knew the reason why Yixing has claimed that he is still unable to move on from his past. Xiumin and Chen had been a significant part of it. It’s not that he doesn’t want to accept or that he can’t forget what they did. It’s more of he’s afraid to leave it. The Luhan now had come and evolved from his past. He doesn’t want to believe that the significant part of it was just made up lies of Yi fan, Xiumin and Chen. He’s not sure if he can accept that the significant part of his present is still made up of their lies. He is more afraid to the fact that his life had been made up of lies from the persons he valued the most.

So as a defense mechanism, he clings more of the past. He clings to the memory of five year old Yi fan smiling his gummy smile and nicknaming him ‘little deer’. He clings to that summer of July, the first time he met Xiumin and Chen and wishing that he was given the chance to talk to them. He clings to that old memory where Sehun is still warm and dependent to him. Now, all that left is Yixing and EXO Division that somehow feels like group of colleagues rather than a family.

I trust you, hyung.

“There’s nothing wrong in trusting a teammate. What is wrong is leaving them behind.” He retorted hotly. Chen seems unaffected.

“Still can’t move on? I feel sorry for you.”

He’s been wrong. He made mistakes, rush decisions and he knew it. He can’t already undo what was done but he can still make a better ‘him’. And it starts by correcting all the lies from his past.

“You’re wrong Chen. I have. Even before. The reason why we are here is not to beg for your return but to knock some sense in your brains.”

Chen just raised a delicate brow gaze shifting from him to Kyungsoo who’s already summoning three huge rocks that Luhan easily crashed down by his telekinesis. Now the rooftop, which was devoid earlier of anything, is filled with the floating pieces of the crashed rocks.

Still not contented, Kyungsoo kneeled down and placed his palm on the floor. Soon after, stone pillars, stone walls and stone roofs emerged from the floor effectively caging in the whole rooftop. Sehun went to step beside Luhan with gust of winds surrounding him.

Chen, on the other hand, had activated his badge. The earlier playfulness in his eyes was gone and his stance became serious. It only dawned to Luhan and the others that they are finally battling not just two former comrades but two Masquerade members and outcome of this will be bloody.

"You're badge will not be of use inside these walls, Chen. I made sure that your lightning won't be able to crush it." Kyungsoo said.

Chen tilted his head and flicks his wrist sending electric waves unto the wall. As what the earth mage stated, nothing happened. "I could say I'm impressed, what do you think Xiumin hyung?" Chen turned to Xiumin whose badge is still inactive.

Xiumin just continue looking down at them, expression unreadable. It was the same expression he had on the night they left and it made Luhan's blood boil.

"Are you underestimating us?" Sehun shouted.

"No. I don't think it's like that." Yixing spoke from behind. "Kyungsoo did something."

All eyes turned to Kyungsoo. Even Chen was a bit surprised.

"My stone walls are made of soil that is found underneath the Alexandrian crust. It's heat absorber and at the same time it also stores the heat and releases it inside this confined space."

Kyungsoo smirked and stare at the two in front.

"The limitation of your badge is the absence of water, right? In critical situations you are trained to accumulate and use the moisture in the air, convert them to water and turned it to ice. But within these walls you can't do that."

Now that he said it, it is indeed a bit warm inside.

"It's fortunate yet also unfortunate at the same time that the elements of our badges are opposites of each other. Wind and land overpowers lightning. Without water ice is inexistent."

Kyungsoo’s voice is filled with confidence and something else.

"You're clearly in a disadvantage right now. I had to give it to you for being able to handicapped Zitao, but we've grown far stronger than what you expected. Don't underestimate us."

Trust Kyungsoo to analyzed things first before making a move.

"You already think you can kill us?" the lightning mage taunts.

Luhan steps forward, floating rocks move to surround Xiumin and Chen. "No. But we are sure of winning this battle."

In a blink of an eye, Sehun vanishes along a gust of wind only to appear in front of the two, roundhouse kick ready. Chen immediately blocks the attack and Xiumin steps backward. But Luhan is faster. A barrage of rocks was already flying down to where Xiumin is. But being a trained assassin he is, dodging the attack is a relative ease. Swerving right, the ice mage exhibits an excellent footwork but was blocked by Kyungsoo's gigantic rocks emerging beneath the floor. Performing a quick flash steps, Xiumin appears right in front of Kyungsoo, punch intent to kill. The earth mage was taken aback by how fast the ice mage moves and topples over his own rocks. Xiumin swiftly extract a small knife out his robes, smirked at him, but surprisingly twist his body to the right as to avoid Luhan’s attack resulting for Kyungsoo to receive the impact.

“Soo!” Luhan managed to shout before he can feel Xiumin appears behind him knife in hand. Moving as fast as he can and out of the ice mage’s way, the knife still caught his upper right arm.

He hissed at the pain before landing beside Kyungsoo.

“Are you alright?”

“Ss’okay.” Luhan bit his lip. Who are they kidding, when it comes to hand to hand combat and close range fighting, Xiumin is second to Tao but at least Tao shows mercy.

On the other side of the rooftop, Sehun had sent Chen flying down across and unto the stone walls.

"Air Fist!"

The lightning mage stumbled across the rooftop but without retaliating back. Landing in a heap of messy limbs, Chen realized his two ribs were broken. So that air fist thing is able to damage internal organ upon being hit. He coughs out blood.

"Interesting."

In the next moments, only the buzzing of electricity and sound of rocks being crushed were heard. Xiumin immediately notices Chen limping. While he is still able to dodge all attacks from combined Kyungsoo and Luhan, although, with a little bit of difficulty, Chen obviously has a hard time fending off the wind mage. It also doesn't help that Sehun's badge element is superior to him. In a storm, the wind can blew the lightning away and it seems like Sehun is doing the same thing to him.

"You're underestimating us again. Look here!"

Kyungsoo's voice snapped him out of his thoughts. A circular rock wall then emerges beneath him. It seemed like the earth mage wants to trap him inside. The walls encircle him fast and before he knew, it was already towering above him. There was no way out.

Luhan watched and smiled upon seeing Kyungsoo's walls sealed shut trapping Xiumin inside. They caught him. Or so they thought.

"Luhan hyung!"

He felt his body being shoved away by Sehun's wind just in time a massive electric current pass by them but his left arm was still electrocuted and had gone limp.

"Kyungsoo!"

"I'm okay!"

Kyungsoo was sheltered inside the same circular walls that trapped Xiumin.

"Like I said he can't crushed my stones."

"Pffft. Who's now underestimating the other?" Chen's voice rung.

Indeed, the circular walls housing Xiumin had cracks in it. So it was actually Chen's target and not them.

"That was the third highest voltage and your walls already cracked. Seriously, Lieutenant Do, I may not be able to crush it down but surely...

The walls that confined Xiumin flew away in pieces at all direction.

It was broken down!

“…I can weaken it down.”

From inside, the ice mage had his fist forward, bloody with remnants of soil.

He punched the walls.

"Damn!" Chen then stumbled into the ground holding his stomach. "The brat did me good."

Luhan looked back only to see Sehun crumpled down on the floor, bloody and all. There are still few electric current lingering his body.

"Sehun!!"

Yixing immediately went to him, while Chen walked towards where Xiumin is.

"One down, three more to go." The lightning mage muttered whilst wiping away the blood in his mouth.

"He did have you good, huh?"

"Yah, hyung how can you.. I freaking save your twice." Chen coughs more blood. "Hell! I should have killed him."

Kyungsoo growled lowly upon hearing the lightning mage's words. Sharp pointed rocks emerge from beneath at all places sparing only Zitao, Yixing and Sehun. Luhan lift himself and Kyungsoo in the air. Xiumin and Chen manage to somehow dodge the rocks.

This will be bloody.

But it doesn't go unnoticed to Luhan how the ice mage's expression is getting darker and darker. And he isn't actually wrong.

"Enough of the playing." Xiumin's voice was cold and clipped.

His badge lights up. Immediately after, a red ice covers Kyungsoo's left leg.

What?

With a flick of his wrist, the ice cracks and Kyungsoo shouts in pain.

"Kyungsoo!" Luhan let both of them down from the air.

The left leg that was earlier covered with ice is now covered by his blood judging by the red color sipping through his pants. But that doesn't stop there. This time Kyungsoo left arm was covered with ice and the same happened with just a flick of the ice mage's wrist.

He was breaking Kyungsoo. Literally. Luhan surged forward only to see his feet frozen with the same red ice.

Stop.

But Xiumin only continues his assault to the earth mage. Now it's his right leg.

Stop.

Then his right arm.

"Stop!!" It was Yixing who shouted.

Kyungsoo was now crying and screaming from pain but Xiumin never showed mercy. In fact it looks like he was enjoying the view.

"H-how.. I-I made sure t-there is n-no water inside t-the walls...

"Are you sure?" Xiumin tilted his head to the side, eyes wide and taunting.

Luhan felt a momentary fear grip his system. This is Xiumin he doesn’t recognize. This Xiumin is what his nightmare usually has.

"A human body is composed of 80% water. I thought that was taught in the academy."

A cold shiver runs down his spine. This was the same in his dreams.

Blood. Kyungsoo’s blood!

" you! Xiumin!!" Luhan's teeth were gritting, fist balled and fingernails digging into flesh and drawing blood.

Xiumin just smirked.

"We have a total of seven persons here. I will never run out of water, Kyungsoo ah. It’s was fun to see you guys trying all your best to defeat us.”

"Why are you doing this? I.. we.. Are we just nothing to you? Kyungsoo? Sehun? Zitao was your ing roommate for years!"

Luhan knew he was crying. He knew what he was showing was weakness but he doesn't care at the moment. Kyungsoo is dying. Zitao is dying. He just wanted an answer.

It was already long after Kyungsoo's stone walls crushed down but it was only then he realized it was raining hard.

"Xiumin, what are we to you? What am I to you?.."

He whispers the last words afraid of the answer.

In a blink of an eye, Xiumin was in front of him. Very close. His hand was lightly resting at his right shoulder, his face near his left ear, facial expression cold as before.

"What are you to me?" The ice mage whispered back. He runs a delicate finger down his arm that sends shiver down Luhan's spine. He stops the urge to let out a whimper.

"You are a very important chess piece... Lu han."

His eyes widened, heart stop beating for a while.

Chess piece.

Piece.

Toy.

He doesn't even notices Xiumin moving away from him, or Yixing shouting his name.

"You're weak, Lu. If you want to get stronger, then come and try to kill me." His stare was boring into him, as if attempting to stir some emotions he had buried deep down.

And with that Xiumin and Chen vanishes along with the heavy rain. He slumped down on the ground on his knees. He doesn't even know if it’s the rain or it’s his tears he's tasting. All tasted failure.

--

Zitao had been asleep for three more days. Kyungsoo’s legs and arms were stitched back due to series of blood vessels and veins ruptured and flesh torn. It took all effort for Junmyeon not to cry when Kyungsoo woke up, his whole body bandaged. He woke up a day before Zitao does but at that time the camp had already been facing far greater crisis.

The night when Zitao woke up, the Camp called for a meeting. All badge holders that are members of a faction are called for a strategic meeting. Luhan was surprised that Junmyeon and the others did not report anything about Xiumin and Chen. He read their reports – not because he was anxious of what they will wrote in particular with Xiumin – but they haven’t mentioned anything about them being former member of EXO Division.

The inauguration despite the Commissioner’s death was considered successful and because of that few divisions will be stationed inside the Camp for further training while the other will be sent to the Capitol.

This brought few murmurs amongst the crowd. And much to their surprise, EXO Division is one of the three selected to join the new Capitol Soldiers.

Little did they know that what they are going to find out inside Capitol will turn their beliefs a hundred and eighty degrees.

--

Someone had just opened the blinds of the room. Xiumin knew this because the light, even if his eyes were closed, was already enough to make someone blind. Second, because he never opens his room’s blinds wherever headquarter he’s in. Reluctantly cracking his eyes open, only to shut it again because the light is just too strong.

“Close the blinds Chen.”

Someone snorted but still followed him because moments after, the room became dark again. He didn’t need to check if it was really Chen, his ‘feriel’ – the badge’s aura – which was constantly checking his own mirrored the holder’s concern and worries and he only knew one person who tries to be discreet about it but still manages to show it through his presence.

“How long was I out?” his voice sounded like crap.

“Three days.”

“Hn.” This time he did open his eyes and the first thing he sees is the ceiling of an unfamiliar room.

“The base relocates again. We’re in District Ortensia.” Chen said as if he had heard his unvoiced question.

“I see.” he tried to get up and was soon handed a glass of water which he eagerly took. His throat was really dry.

“Hyung. Why did you do it again?” he heard him ask and he tries his best to feign ignorance.

“What?”

“Hyung.” Chen runs his hand on his hair, frustrated and then he only noticed the effect of worries on his face. “You knew exactly what I’m talking about.”

“Forget it Chen.” he said sternly.

“How can you just say it like that? You’re heart stopped beating for a second! Hyung, your sub zero needles are not yet perfect, how can you be so reckless?”

“I said forget it.” That came out harshly and he knew it because of the sudden hurt that flashed across Chen’s face. “Seriously, stop underestimating me. I can handle myself.” He tried to soften his voice but still stern enough to let the younger knew that this topic is already over. Chen stared at him for a while, then sighing before standing up and heading towards the door. ‘I’m sorry’ was at the tip of his tongue but he managed to hold it down.

“By the way, Hongki hyung wants to talk to you.” And then he closed the door.

He stared at it for few more seconds before getting out of the bed. He wasn’t able to personally hand to Hongki hyung the book since according to Chen, he passed out in the middle of the way. But he doubted that Hongki doesn’t have the book already. Walking to the adjacent room which happens to be the bathroom, his mind is already filled with question he wanted to ask.

--

“So he hasn’t remembered anything yet?”

“That.. I can’t personally confirm.” Hongki twirled around his chair whilst the semi glares of Heechul opposite him. “He was unconscious when Chen and Minhyuk brought him here.”

“And who handed the book.”

“Chen but I doubt he knew what it is.”

Heechul sighed in relief. When Hongki first introduced Xiumin to him, he already doubted his significance to the team, especially after he met his resident tag-along, Chen, but their status is of outmost significance in the war and so he accepted them, albeit reluctantly.

“Are you sure that brat of yours will be able to perform his duties just in case? I had enough of you bringing in lost puppies to the organization. Last time I check, we aren’t orphanage.”

Hongki just smirked and leaned back in his chair. “Don’t underestimate what hatred can do especially if his memories will come back. And I promise you it won’t be long.”

--

He did not know how long he was staring at the open book but his mind won’t register any single thing.

“Do you remember when I first met you?” Hongki hyung’s voice snapped him out of his trance. He was sitting opposite him but why does it feels like he was far. Hongki’s voice is dulled by something and Xiumin just found himself retracing back to his past.

“H-help me.. please. Someone, anyone. H-help..” he tried to crawl forward but he knew he can’t. His limbs are ruptured beyond recognition, left arm missing and a gaping hole in his stomach rendered him immobile at all.

“Look what we have here.”

A pale young man with dark rimmed eyes suddenly appeared in front of him. He was wearing robes like those of Capitol Knights but he know he isn’t one of them. He was smiling at him, lips beautifully curved upwards but his eyes are leering. Like that of a predator to its prey. But his hazy mind doesn’t register all of this and firmly grasped his hand with his remaining arm.

“M-my friend.. help him please..” tears are blurring his eyes yet he never fail to see the older’s long delicate fingers brushing the blood in his cheeks. He cried more.

“J-Jongdae.. they will kill him.. please save him..”

“Are you going to die then? You know I’m not really interested in anything other than dead bodies so..” he remove his firm grip  on his hand and stand up. He was leaving.

“I’ll do anything! Just save him, please.  He can’t die.. h-he’s not allowed to die..”

“And why is that young boy?”

He clenched his fist and gritted the words with all the anger he has. He did not know if he sees it in his eyes but the older’s expression changes to that of amusement and something else sinister.

“So that he can witness the day how I destroy Capitol and those that hate him! They will pay!”

The man doesn’t answer for a long time and no matter how much he wanted to  see his expression, his head hurt, his whole body hurts so he just slumped in the grounds until he can feel his breath get shallower and the beating of his heart gets slower and slower.

“Jongdae-ah..”

A firm grip on his shoulder snapped him out. He blinked for a few times trying to whisk away the scenes from his past which seems so vivid for a second.

Hongki hyung has a frown on his face and that then he realized the whole room was frozen.

“I.. uh.. sorry.”

“Hmm..” he doesn’t say anything but just return in his seat. In that moment Xiumin realized something. And somehow everything just clicked in. The book, the saving he did and the marking of the rose. It must have shown in my face because he smirked.

“You know who am I, right?” Xiumin demanded.

Hongki hyung. He was the one he owed his life with. Second life, to be exact.

“Aw.. such a shame. And I thought you were dead already so I resurrected you only to realize I can’t control your mind and body since you are only half dead.”

“Ara.. ara.  Don’t get too excited. I don’t know who you are but I have an idea already.”

His memories, being gone, have nothing to do with Chen’s situation. It was one of the side effects of Hongki hyung’s badge. Once you are resurrected using his badge, your memories will be automatically erased thus allowing him to control your mind and body. But since he was only half dead, his memories are starting to come back to him.

“What I wantedd to know is why didn’t you tell me that your memories are starting to come back already? You know exactly the reason why I saved you and Chen.”

“Hatred for the capitol is the foundation of this organization, tell me young boy, do you have enough hatred in your heart?”

He fisted his hand. Xiumin knew. Ever since he became a member of Masquerade, Hongki had shown him all the dark side life has. He opened his eyes from the broken promises love, companionship and all mushy things offers. He’s not bitter but there is a fine line between dreams and reality.

“I’m scared.” his voice was weak but he know Hongki heard him.

His memories started coming back since his Akasha days. It’s the reason that triggered him to leave, to betray EXO, to hurt those people that have cared and would have cared for him.

Luhan.

But there is a reason why he refused to be shaken by their/his/sweet words and promises. It’s scary, it’s suffocating. The scenes are very vivid. From the blue drapery of the room to the velvet carpet of the hallways; from the expensive chandeliers to the elegant staircase; from the gentlest smiles and hushed whispers. It’s all vivid and so very Capitol.

Capitol and the life he had in it.