∞ Bae Suzy ∞

“So that’s why I can’t be with him anymore!” I sobbed quietly while throwing the tissue that I just used on Myungsoo. I just can’t believe that this is happening to me right now. Oh God!

“Why? Is there a universal rule that you can’t date your sister’s boyfriend?”

I stared at him in disbelief. Seriously?!

“Are you nuts?! It’s creepy and weird and it would feel like he’s cheating on my sister with his sister! Did you get what I mean?” I retorted almost- just almost- hysterically.

“Just pretend that I get it,” He said timidly, “So, what are you going to do now?”

I leaned my head on his shoulder while he wrapped his arm around mine. I blew a generous amount of air while puffing my cheeks.

I don’t know.

“I don’t know,” I told him, “Maybe mend my broken heart for a while, and find a new love.”

“You told me he’s the last one.”

“Turns out not. Can’t be. I’m sorry.” I whispered apologetically.

“It’s alright,” He paused for a while and I looked up at his face, “I’ll always be here.”

☼☼☼

It was a cold Saturday evening when I went to rest outside the apartment despite the fact that it is snowing hard. Well, that was one part of my agenda. The other was to confront Baekhyun, who was now sitting beside me.

“Why are you here?” I asked him while I was plucking out the petals of the flower, chanting the infamous ‘He loves me, he loves me not’ lines.

“On the day of the incident, did you know that your sister called me?”

I stopped on my actions as my breath hitched. What does he mean by that?

“W-what do you mean?”

“She managed to call me before she had her last breath. Did you know what she said?”

I shook my head and bit my lower lip to stop a cry from escaping my mouth.

“She told me to look after you, and make sure you’re okay.”

I chuckled as my tears started to fall down on my cheeks continuously.

Damn, she still thought of me at the last moment? She could’ve…She could’ve saved her remaining energy but she still- she still..

My train of thoughts was cut off when I felt a pair of arms pull me into a tight hug. And for the first time since the incident, I never cried so hard while feeling in peace.

☼☼☼

“Did you cry again?”

I was startled when I heard someone talk beside me. I looked at my side and saw the undeniably flawless face of the almighty Kim Myungsoo.

“Is it obvious?”  I tried to make the situation lighten by shrugging it off with a smile.

“Really, really obvious.”

I stared off into nothingness and smiled bitterly, “Myungsoo, tell me. Have you ever felt so tired but you can’t do anything to stop feeling it? I..I always feel like I’m running but the finish line is nowhere to be seen, and so I kept on running. One day, I just felt like I am running faster than before- because I was running away from something this time. And you know what? I felt like I was running away from my past that kept on reaching out to me.”

xx

“How could you be so heartless?” I sang the lyrics out loud, loud enough to make sure that the whole world could hear me. Unfortunately for me, my aunt was the first one to complain.

“Bae Suzy! Get yourself down here and stop singing!” She shouted from below.

“Later! Let me have my moment ahjumma!” I retorted.

See? We could have a competition for the loudest voice and we’ll surely be up competing for the first spot. This became quite a normal thing for us. I wonder why our vocal chords never really get tired of shouting.

Seconds after I finished singing slash shouting the lyrics to Kanye’s Heartless, I went to the kitchen to grab myself a breakfast.

I grabbed a bread and decided to just eat this for the meantime while my aunt, who told me to come down by the way, was magically missing. 

Closing the front door, I huffed a generous amount of air before staring into the sky.

Love, love, love, how could you be so heartless?

xx