Primary Song: TVXQ- Why Did I Fall In Love With You?

Secondary Song: Taeyang- Wedding Dress

Genre: Angst

Characters: Jaejoong/ Female OC (Unnamed)/ Amber/ Changmin

As a man, I've always wondered what the biggest day in a girl's life is.

Is it her 16th birthday? The day she has her first kiss? Is it prom? The day she is proposed to? While those are all very important days, most women would agree that her wedding is the best day of her life. And looking at her smiling face, I agree.

A wedding is actually a very bittersweet event. They mark the end of one chapter of a woman's life: their youth and childhood. That's why her parents cry and tearfully hand her over to her husband, her new chapter of her life. Thus, weddings mark the beginning of a new chapter and usually, a new life. That's why the bride wears white. To signify her purity and a new beginning.

Weddings are also bittersweet for all ex-lovers, or, God forbid, current lovers, of the bride or groom. They have to see their beloved marry someone else who isn't them. The vows they share bind them forever, and that's why divorces are so difficult because it involves in the tearing apart of a bond that is unbreakable. However, while weddings mark the end of a love between a lover and the groom/bride, the occasion is also a sense of release for the forbidden lover who must begin a new life. This'll make more sense if you continue reading my story. The story of me and my now wedded lover. It was our story.

On the day of her wedding, I could only watch helplessly and powerlessly as she walked down the aisle in her white gown, as she exchanged vows with a man who wasn't me. To make things worse, the man she was marrying was one of my closest friends, Changmin. He, like me, had liked her since we were young teens, but he, unlike me, had been bold enough to confess his love to her. That led to them dating which led to his proposal to her and their engagement which all unfortunately led to this day, their wedding.

Secretly, I opposed this marriage. I opposed their getting together from the start. After all, what kind of man likes to see his girl being in a relationship with another man? But I loved her too much to say anything about it to her. Or perhaps, I was too much of a coward. Either way, in the beginning, I had hoped they would break up, but against my hopes and beliefs, they ended up marrying each other.

When the time came for them to exchange their vows and rings, I knew I wasn't strong to witness it with my own eyes, but as one of Changmin's groomsman, I knew I couldn't leave the wedding hall. The best I could do is avert my eyes slightly to the left, and I caught sight of Amber, a bridesmaid and a mutual friend of Changmin, his bride, and me. I noticed her moving lips and turned my head to see what she was trying to mouth. 'Are you okay?' She mouthed to me. Out of all my friends, she was the only one who knew of my love for the bride. Maybe it was her easygoing and trustworthy nature. Or just telling a girl was more comfortable than telling a guy. I don't know, but I do know I could count on Amber.

I only nodded once to her before turning back to the oh-so-happy couple in front of me just as they're proclaimed husband and wife and kiss to seal their promise. I'd be lying if I said the sight didn't pierce my already battered heart. Like always, I donned a mask of happiness and cheerfully clapped along with the rest of the audience, but deep inside, I was hurting. My heart was throbbing dully but so painfully. Why did this have to happen to me? Why me?

Skip to reception to when the couple was dancing their first dance as a married pair and I was sitting pitifully alone at a table in a corner, away from the festivities, drowning in my misery. I denied all human company but rather enjoyed the soothing presence of soju. Just as I poured myself a sixth cup-or perhaps it was seventh-, someone snatched the bottle of soju away from me. When I looked up, I wasn't all too surprised to see an angry yet worried Amber frowning down at me. "Yah, what are you doing here?" She asked what I considered to be a stupid question.

"What does it look I'm doing?" My voice slightly slurred from the alcohol. "I'm drinking my sorrows away. Now give me back my soju." I attempted to grab the bottle back, but Amber easily dodged my hands. She stopped me with her one hand and held the bottle away from me with the other. "Tch, you're being immature about the way you're handling this," she reprimanded me.

My heart was already broken. Did she really have to add salt to the wound? "I don't care anymore," I growled menacingly at her. "I've already sacrificed so much to make her happy. I'm going to be selfish this once and drink my soju." Our eyes locked in an intense eye battle, neither of us willing to back down.

Suddenly, the fierce, unbending glare in Amber's eyes softened. She sighed, "Jaejoong, please don't do this yourself. If you won't do it for yourself, do it for her."

I lunged for the bottle, and she was too slow to dodge my attack this time, so I was able to successfully retrieve it. I yanked it out of her grasp and plopped onto my chair before calmly pouring myself a drink and downing it in one gulp. "Amber, I don't think you understand. I'm done with doing stuff for her. I've done so much for her in the past. She now has a husband to take care of her, and I am not that person. No matter how much I want to be," I explained tiredly, and my voice cracked towards the end of my sentence. I cleared my voice before pouring myself another cup. "I'm drinking for my sake. Think of this as my way of cleansing my past, and tomorrow, I'll move on with my life. But for now," I sipped my cup, "I just want to drink my sorrows away."

Amber sighed but didn't say anything. Out of the corner of my eyes, I saw her cross her arms and walk away, but I kept my focus solely on my cup. Until I saw a flash of white drawing closer to me. I froze in disbelief and panic. No. She can't be coming here, to me, right now. Especially when I am a mess trying to get over her. Why? Why me?

In my frightened state, I can only pretend to not notice her and only look forward. Even when she pulls the chair next to me and sits down, I can't look at her. "Hey, Jaejoong, why are you here alone? And so lonely looking too?"

I shrugged, unable to say anything else. I can't exactly say that she was the reason why I was drinking, could I? "I just wanted to?" I responded weakly.

She rolled her eyes at my lame response but still laughed a little, and it was the sound of her laughter that made me turn to her. I always thought she was pretty. Beautiful even. And seeing her in her dress and veil and everything at the altar was certainly astounding. But nothing compared to the sight of her next to me smiling because of what I said. And I never felt an urge to kiss her as strong as it was then.

She stopped laughing and looked at me with concern. "Hey Jaejoong, you okay? Why are you staring at me? Do I have something on my face?" She began making a fuss and wiping her hands before I gently took her hands off her face and held them in my own. At my gesture, she looked beyond surprised and opened to speak, but I already beat her to it. "Yes, I'm okay. I was only staring because I didn't really get to look closely at you today. You look...breathtaking," I smiled gently at her blushing face. "And why do people always assume they have something on their faces when others stare? Why do they always assume it's their fault others are looking? Maybe it's the other people's fault."

At this, she looked at me strangely. "Jaejoong, what are you talking about?" I kept silent because I couldn't tell her that what I said meant more than what it sounded like. It wasn't her fault I was looking at her. It was my fault. It was my fault for loving her but not saying anything. "It was nothing," I shook my head. She pursed her lips at my incompetent answer but said nothing.

We sat side by side quietly and slightly awkwardly before she broke the ice. "Hey, it's my wedding," she nudged me. I shot a sarcastic "You don't say?" look. Did she really have to remind me of my pain? She laughed when she realized how silly her statement sounded. "So, as my best friend, don't you think you should have given me a present?"

Best friend. I used to take pride in those words. I was the only one who knew her secrets, the only one she would cry on when she was troubled. But now, I hated the label. I suppose that was all I ever was. There was no chance for me from the start.

I snorted at her audacity to demand a present from me. "Wow, demanding a present huh? What a spoiled bride," I . She laughed again and shook her head.

"Not a physical present silly," she smiled, but I became confused at her words.

"But I alrea