He walked to the community center, if Mi wasn't back, he was going to talk to her.

"Noona, we need to talk".

-----------------

He doesn't really have the time to do these things, to have this talk, he can't be here right now since he has other more important places to be in. Still, he needed this, maybe so did she.

"Your husband gave me this before going to the rescue mission." He gives the letter to Fei. She takes it and reads it, checks it out. She can make some words. "As a good husband it's the least I can do for her." She takes one hand to , he sees that she can't believe it either.

"What?"

"He didn't say anything else, he just gave me that, in case something might happen... I don't know if he saw us, I don't care. I..." he looks at her. "As the alfa I have the right to take more than one mate, but..."

"No." She says firmly. "My family is the most important... I... I have, I have loved you, from the beginning, since we were children. I cried for you when he took me, I hated my parents for not doing anything. I even hated you for not standing up, for not fighting for me..."

"I always regretted it. I also cried, I waited for you, for life to change, for the past to come back but..."

"He is a good man. He loved me from the start, he tried to understand me, he gave me my space, my time... I understood why you couldn't just come and fight to death with him. It's... now..."

"It's too late. He is giving you up, he is doing the worst thing an alfa can do to himself. He must love you a lot."

"Like Joonmyeon loves you. I can see it in his eyes, how he looks at you.... yeah, it's too late. It's time for us to live the lives that we've been given." She sighs and looks at the letter again. She takes a step to leave.

"Wait..." Yifan suddenly says and pulls her to his arms, his lips on her. "Goodbye."

---------------------------

It's been two months since the rescue, two months since FanJoon has been in the hospital in a crystal box. Two months since Joonmyeon has been living in the hospital with his boy, two months since the hospital has become Yifan's second home.

Just a month ago Suho, Yixing and Yifan convinced Joonmyeon to leave the hospital over the night at least. Since then, he has been going back to his bed to rest and to make breakfast before leaving for the hospital again.

Things are not the same yet. Maybe Yifan hoped for too much, but the truth is that Joonmyeon doesn't pay too much attention to him. It's understandable, the life of their child is more important and... well. Yifan sighs as he waits for Joonmyeon to come out of the shower. 

He finally comes out, he sits on the edge of the bed drying his long hair with a towel.

"Do you need help?"

"Oh, you are awake... no, it's fine."

"What about your back?" Yifan is already grabbing another towel so there's no way he can refuse. "Tell me if I'm doing it too hard." Joonmyeon nods and brushes his hair.

For some reason, Yifan can't bring himself to mind the ugly picture he is looking at, he is more focused on the pale skin of his mate's shoulder. It looks so nice and soft. He brings his hand and touches the skin with the tip of is fingers, indeed soft.

"You smell so nice." He tells Joonmyeon who turns around. It's like he wants to say something but he doesn't, he just looks at Yifan. "What is it?"

"Nothing... it's just..." He doesn't need to say anything because his mate can smell it on him. It's the faint smell of a heat, it's too early for a full heat, his hormones are not in place yet, so neither of them are going mad with lust. But Yifan lets himself kiss the shoulder, then move to the neck. And Joonmyeon lets himself be kissed, lets himself melt a little in his mate's touches. But the images come again, the images of his captors, the sounds of the insults and the fear, and then the anger.

Anger because Yifan wasn't there, because his baby got hurt because his father wasn't there to protect him. It's only a half rational thought, after all, Yifan did rescue them and they were alive, safe. The resentment was still there, the fear had broken something that was almost there. Joonmyeon went stiff in his alfa's arms and the smell disappeared.

"Are you okay?" It was a rhetorical question.

"Am tired. Tomorrow is Fan's preliminary check up. I have to be there early."

"I know. I will go too." Yifan said with a sigh and he lets his mate go.

"Then we both should sleep now."

"Yes."

But they didn't.

------------------------------

The baby is getting better by the day, he will soon be discharged. The typical drive of an alfa, even if this was a mini alfa. Joonmyeon was the happiest, joyful. Yifan was too, but he was worried. He wanted them to be family, a real one, a loving one and no, Joonmyeon wasn't loving him and maybe, Yifan wasn't either.

Jiaheng says they need to talk about it, but Yifan doesn't even know how to start that conversation, what he wants to say nor what would be the purpose of such conversation. However, even patience has a limit.

"Are you going to eat now?" Joonmyeon asked Yifan who has just arrived, he just nodded. "Yixing called and said that Fan just had his last round of that medicine... what was the name? You know which one I'm saying?"

"Yeah, I can't say the name either."

"He does look better, don't you think?"

"Yes. I'm glad we are getting him out of there."

"You are?" What?

"What do you mean? Are you saying I'm not glad that my son is getting better?"

"It's just that you looked like you were at the post office or something, not there to be happy that your son was saved from death."

"What the hell does that mean? I'm not an , I think I've already shown you that I'm not."

"No, you have shown me that you are."

"Please speak your mind, tell me what you think..." Yifan said sarcastically.

"Okay, Alfa, I'll tell you. I think it was wrong that you were ing a person who's not your pregnant mate who was, at that time, getting abducted by a bunch of psychos... that it took you so long that you almost killed your own son."

"I already said that I wanted to be with you. Also, you are not inside of me to know how ing bad I feel for that. You said that you love me and that you forgave me... I guess you lied then."

"Yes, of course, I'm the one who lies."

"Why don't you just say it all at once. What do you really feel?" Yifan asked again.

"That you regret everything."

"You kow what? In moments like this... yes, I kind of regret everything." The alfa confessed with more sarcasm.

"Well don't think twice and take another mate, you still have that right. Or is it that you won't do it because you are afraid to lose power to your brother... again?" Joonmyeon said with malice.

"I don't think so. Actually, maybe losing power is much better than living stuck with you." Those were his last words before leaving the house.

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NOTE: sorry for taking so long.